Ryuji walked up the urban hill holding Tsuna's hand tightly, night had just begun but the winter air had concentrated around them for quite some time. Just a while ago she asked to take a break at a bus stop. He wanted to more than anything but Ryuji knew that if they stopped then it would only get colder for the two of them. So against her wishes, they kept moving forward.
The two of them were trying to make it to an inn close by but Ryuji misidentified the distance between there and the comfortable cafe they had been holed up in. Just as he saw the top of the street by the lamp-post that peered down at them. It seemingly taunted him and he noticed just how much more the cold made him sway by how it seemingly danced across his vision. Locked in against it until he heard an uneasy shifting of feet followed by a crash.
"Are you alright?"
He asked as he glanced to the side, where he found Tsuna smiling up at him from the ground. She held her hands out to prompt him to help her up.
"Yeah I'm good, it's just a little slippery."
Tsuna tried to stabilize herself using her right leg once she was standing, but after a moment or two of pressure it gave out on her, Ryuji reacted by quickly wrapping his arms around her torso so he could fully steady her position.
"You know it's fine, not be fine right?"
Tsuna laughed, hammering her left hand into his head playfully while saying,
"How many years have we been married? Trust me, if I knew something was wrong I would have told you about it."
Ryuji shook his head, moving her onto his back.
"Just stay up there, you twisted your ankle right?"
Tsuna hugged his shoulders tighter, pressing her face into his neck. Her voice was muffled as she responded,
"Ue oh I kan oulk ie myelf ight?"
Ryuji held her tighter behind his back.
"You know what I'm going to say so could we skip the theatrics? And get your mouth out of my neck!"
A goofy grin crossed Tsuna's face as she kicked her feet out in excitement.
"Oh but normally you're always wanting to play with it, what makes now so different."
Ryuji tried to motion to do something but Tsuna quickly restrained him by tightening her legs around him as he cried out,
"Lucky bastard."
Tsuna pressed her cheek against his, rubbing the two together. Ryuji smiled but feeling her embrace made his heart weep. Why was he only left happy by his wifes embrace? Despite these thoughts he closed his eyes to reciprocate feeling weak while doing so. After she was done he didn't speak, only turning back to focus on the hill ahead. His sister tilted her head before she spoke,
"You know I can walk on my own right?"
Ryuji's voice was blank when he answered, almost hallow,
"Is that what you were asking me before?"
Tsuna paused for a moment ensnared by his stilted response, her sly expression melting into tearful concern. Her body instinctively tensed, forcing her to hold onto her brother tighter. before holding his back tightly asking him concerned,
"Are you alright Ryuji?"
He without hesitation responded,
"Yeah of course, how about you? Are you cold?"
His hollow voice made her embrace loosen as her worry spread through her heart. She silently piggybacked for a while as the two trekked their way up the hill before she had the answer, and proudly shot in the dark,
"Oh, is that what all of this is about, are you worried for me? You know I have nothing to worry about as long as I'm with you. Your love keeps me warm, your dreams keep me hopeful, and your saliva keeps me from getting thirsty."
"Did you really have to add that last one?"
Tsuna laughed to herself.
"Oh, of course I did. If it makes you smile then anything I can do is worth it. So big brother, tell me this."
She pressed her lips against Ryuji's bare neck and asked,
"What outline do you feel?"
Ryuji responded confused,
"Your lips right?"
Tsuna giggled before fastening her grip on her brother's chest.
"No, I want more specific."
Ryuji looked up at the stars for a moment before he hopelessly cried out to them,
"It's your smile, that's what you want me to point out, right?"
Her lips outline widened as she kicked her feet lightly.
"Yeah."
Ryuji smiled for just a moment before it began to quiver, tears following his face as it distorted into its saddened state but his legs kept moving up the hill. Though his heart still hurt, even despite her affirmations. Despite everything she does to make him feel loved, was he ungrateful? No, he loved her more than anything but something he didn't even think about was, how he wasn't even good at feeling loved, she was wasting her time, love, passion, all on him.
"Why do you love me Tsuna? "
Ryuji's feet kept moving as they stayed in silence for a moment and when she tried to respond, he spoke over her.
"I know you say I'm all you ever need but, I don't understand what value I could possibly give someone like you, let alone as a lover. I'm pathetic, please, tell me what value you see in me so I can see it in myself."
Her lips outline quickly shut as he felt teeth against his neck.
"Put me down."
He stopped for a moment in shock before continuing to move forward, brushing off her request.
"I'm not doing that."
Tsuna flailed trying to get out of his grip but he resisted, he yelled at her while he had to rearrange his grip over and over to keep her stable.
"Tsuna you're going to hurt yourself!"
Tsuna yelled back her hands moving to strangle Ryuji,
"And you think you're not already? How could you consider saying all of those things to yourself not self-harm? Why are we here? I wanna travel across the world with you so that we can find the wonder that others can't see in it! Does believing in something make you pathetic, is all of this useless to you?"
Ryuji let go of Tsuna her feet hitting the ground as she continued to yell,
"I love you for the value you always give yourself, the way you always look forward, the way you never take time away from what you love! No one else I know goes as all in as you 'cause if I know one thing about you it's that if that writing shit didn't work out you would rather die, so you wrote every day till you thought you were going to die!"
Ryuji got up, yelling back,
"And that's the problem, why can't you see that?! How many times have I missed our anniversary due to my writing? How many days did I go without a word spoken to you; Cause by the time I limped over to the bed my brain was fried, why can't you quit being so good to me?! I'm not pure, I'm not useful outside of writing, I can't even choose when I work!"
Tsuna glared at him.
"And you think I'm pure, don't you kno-"
Ryuji retorted before she could even speak.
"You were pure for me. I know cause I took your first kiss, your virginity, all of the love shit you saved just for me but by the time you got to me I was well used! I had so many relationships before you!"
Ryuji's tears fell to the ground with him as he hit the pavement.
"I kissed, I fucked, I told countless people I loved them before you! I'm not good enough, I'm not pure enough, why can't you see sis, I'm too disgusting for you."
Tsuna's rage slowly faded away as she knelt down to her crying brother, grabbing his chin to make him look up at her eyes. Before going down to the pavement to crawl under his body. She spoke lightly, wrapping her arms around him once more.
"Wow, it is cold down here…but you make up for it."
Ryuji asked,
"Why won't you let me handle everything for you sis?"
Tsuna answered as she buried her face into his chest.
"Cause we're married bro, if I allowed this to be as one-sided as you want it to be, I'd never be able to proudly call myself your wife. Who cares if you're pure or not, 'cause no matter who's you were, now you're mine."
Tsuna reached for Ryuji's limp hand, bringing it close to her, propping up the finger with his wedding ring on it while saying,
"And this is undeniable proof of that. Do I wish I was your first? Yes, no girl wouldn't, but I like to think you stayed with me 'cause I was the best."
Ryuji looked at his sister who was boasting a proud smile.
"I love you so much, there is no other girl that I could even consider wearing that ring on your finger."
Tsuna laughed lightly,
"That should be a given if you were going to tie me down with it."
Ryuji smiled as he got up silently, he offered a hand to her, him averting his gaze to look up; Seeing the pole of the light that they only once saw the light of told them they were near the end of the hill.
"Shall we?"
Tsuna dashed ahead of him while yelling into the night,
"Oh of course why else would we walk up that long ass hill?!"
Ryuji paused before smiling, putting his hands into his pockets before walking a little further and seeing the town square light up; Each business turned on its lights but the sun had yet to catch up with them. He spun around, taking in the colors of the blooming morning, until he heard from the other side of the square,
"HEY BIG BRO, LET'S GO, I'M TIRED!"
Sightseeing would have to be cut short to take care of her, he spoke under his breath,
"What a troublesome wife I have."
AFTERWORD
So yeah it's been awhile first off thank you for 3000 entire reads. I know on this particular site it doesn't read that but that is adding each view count together and thats insane. Thank you guys so much for reading my editor and I always are excited to open these apps and talk about how surprised we are that this is going as well as it is. So another thing about my editor is that he would kill me if I didn't plug a bit. I'm not gonna talk your ear off so I'll just say I have a ko-fi, if any of you could go to my twitter and help me out it would mean the world but don't feel obligated to. What you get out of it is just a load of sneak peaks of what I make, also you can give suggestions for this series, ok thats it I love you all and thank you for reading again <3