Years and years ago Ryuji was cradled at his desk looking into his laptop screen and staring at his supposed artistic peers' latest release. All it had seemed to be was some low-effort advertisement but the effect it had on his soul, no, his body, felt like his heart was being simmered over an open flame. Tears forced their way out of his eyes as he stared at the repeating screen and he felt his entire chest clench onto his heart. His mind was racing as he ran through the video over and over again, his breath quickening with each spiral of the thought.
The worst part was the fact the advertisement did its job perfectly, every moment fought for your attention with every cheap tactic imaginable; The voice had this quality to it that made you have to focus with how odd it was, and it was this barrage of noise and color to keep you still. His hands pried away from his heart and onto the mouse, gliding across his worn down small worn-down desk just to keep himself grounded in reality and out of his now forsaken mind.
After, he let go of his mouse and moved his hands to his face to wipe his tears away but when he tried to move them back to the keyboard the tears went down to the keys. In an attempt to make sure the liquid didn't get under the keys he got up to grab tissues to clean it off. Though the moment he saw his bed his very body receded into sitting on it. His brain told him to wait there for himself to stop crying but it ended up taking too long so he moved back to his desk and tried to ignore his tears as they washed down his face.
Falling down onto his desk so he can rest his chest on it he felt a small wiggle underneath him. His desk had begun to wobble again so like usual he moved his chair out of the way so he had room to kneel down and screw in some loose bolts to make sure all of the expensive laptop and other equipment didn't get damaged.
It worried Ryuji since he didn't have any savings to fall back on since he spent all of it on the novels despite Tsuna not wanting him to do that. Though he always brushed it aside since he didn't expect himself to live long; He had always been so sickly as a child, so he just didn't think it possible for him to make it past even twenty-one.
Thinking of Tsuna's bickering about his health made him smile as his mind began to drift and his eyes began to flutter closed, flutter away from another late night typing at his laptop… But his will refused, bringing him back to consiousness. He opened his eyes and pushed himself back up from his slumped position on one of the legs of his desk.
He had to finish the script for the marketing video and it had to be everything that garbage wasn't; It had to be fun, quirky, and innovative in style. He had finished the planning, set dressing, props, and even visual style through a reference video for a video game ad, all he had to do was write the script. He just had to push himself a little harder, for one more late night.
As his hands began to type away for the ad his mind beginning to wander and his mind spoke to him,
"Another late night, do you think the people who get popular with those quick, low-effort, releases do this?"
Then his heart spoke back into the void,
"I don't care if they do or don't. I love my fans I want the best for them."
His brain haggled,
"If you care so much then why don't you release the damn thing? Other artists would have made ten books by now if they worked as much as you. You're just mismanaging your effort."
The heart reservedly responded,
"I don't because I care. I want to make something worth their money, worth their attention. If I release it now it won't be able to show them the love I have for this medium."
Synapses crackled in the mind as some crude mimicry of laughter as it considered the inefficient heart.
"They can't see your vision you know, they won't see what's missing from your piece because no one, and I mean no one, cares as much as you do."
His heartbeat kicked louder, yelling as it hammered into his ribs,
"That's the goal you idiot! We make something incredible so that people care about it more than us! The fans of artists are some of the most amazing people in the world! Fan art, OC's, AU's, all of it is amazing! I would be sick to know that my fans worked harder than me on my own creation!"
It felt like it was frying in his mind, sizzling as it hissed back,
"How are we meant to get fans if we don't release it?! We work day and night without a dime to our name and for what, some superfluous idea of quality that other people couldn't give a rat's ass about? We need consistent content, that's the only way to be an artist! Throw away that idiotic care that you exclusively hold dear!"
Ryuji forcefully pushed away from his desk, breathing heavily while looking at the light of his laptop shining a cone through his room. His chair pushed through this mess of empty water bottles that had started to fill the floor of his room, combusting into this mess of noise as they smacked into each other.
Tsuna walked slowly and calmly into his room, going in between Ryuji and his laptop. His bloodshot eyes flicked up to meet her gentle stare. Her hand shifted up and in one smooth motion brought darkness to the room by closing the laptop. Her yellow hair pierced it though, letting him see her gentle sway before he felt her hand on his shoulder.
"Let's be done for tonight."
Ryuji wanted to speak but his body fought him at every step, causing him to shift lower with every faint moment of sway concentration. He was barely able to stress the syllables through the pain as he said simply,
"No."
Tsuna smiled at him before embracing him and pushing his chair closer to their bed as she spoke,
"Please Ryuji, when you get in your head like this not only do I get worried but you aren't as creative. So for my sake, and for your writings, please leave this for when you've had some rest."
Tsuna gently pecked his lips as his body relaxed. His eyes seemed to glaze over from exhaustion, his body joining it and exhaling in its entirety. He forced himself up as he faintly grasped her hand guiding him to bed. His body moved before his mind as he limply said,
"Please take me away."
Tsuna sat down on their bed with Ryuji following suit. His body forcing him to fall onto the bed looking as soon as he got near. Rolling over to his back he looked up at the glow in the dark plastic stars that formed an artificial night sky. She spoke as she held his cheek with one hand and patted his body with the other,
"And just what exactly am I supposed to be taking you away from?"
Ryuji spoke, defeated as his brain became mush, without a filter,
"From this art world; It's so corrupt. People enticing people to be parasocial, ads that do or say nothing but keep your attention, and the time we are expected to make everything in. It's awful, I just can't handle it anymore. I spent a month doing daily content and already my quality slipped enough that I had to stop. Then I have to make an advertisement but every time I sit down to do anything these thoughts peel away my love for this profession. I know I can make something good while being an advertisement, but I don't want to be like them, and I don't know if you can succeed if I'm not them."
Tsuna patted on his chest a little harder as her body slowly grew closer to him. Her forearm acted as his pillow and her leg went over his body. She said reassuringly,
"I think you can succeed, I love your work and despite it not being released, seeing the work you put into it makes me know that the idea of you failing just seems so silly to me. You make a good piece then market it well, then I'm sure people will find the love you work so hard to share."
Ryuji smiled at her incompetence, god how he loved this woman. All of what he wanted to hear and more. She really is the core of how he was able to make this much; The books, the merchandise, everything. If she wasn't there to give a simple "It's cool" or "I love that" then he feared he'd never create again. Tsuna was what gave him a voice and he couldn't be happier that she was his. He silently embraced her as his body seemingly begged for sleep and yet his consciousness wouldn't fade.
He motioned to grab his phone from his pocket to look for a possible email or notification on his phone despite no buzz occurring. Tsuna grabbed his hand as she got his phone out of his pocket, she threw it to his chair across the room. She leaned into his ear as she pressed his face into her chest.
"You're tired bro, please go to bed."
Ryuji whined into her body,
"But what if some artist needs me? If I'm not awake then they'll be hours behind."
He felt the silhouette of Tsuna's smile on the top of his head, speaking like a siren trying to drift him to the land of the sleep.
"You know big bro, I'm actually a really powerful wizard."
Ryuji laughed to himself uneasily as he played along, being too tired to have the energy to fight it.
"Is that so, what kind of spells do you know?"
Tsuna whispered,
"I cast freeze, you can't move until you sleep, when you wake up you'll be fine so don't worry.."
Ryuji's lips tried to move but Tsuna pushed his head further into her.
"You wouldn't want to make your little sister a liar now, would you?"
Ryuji stayed silent and she whimpered into his ears,
"Now that's a good boy, let's have a better day tomorrow."
She felt him smile but that was the last move he had made that night. Not even the fading of consciousness could remove his smile at that moment.