Natalie was at her large wallpapered penthouse, beneficial with her back to the stylish metallic door offered to the city skyline. Day was ending, and a pleasant orange hue engulfed the ubiquitous glass structures that were typical for Dallas. However, as the beauty of this moment she was able in for, her thoughts were far from this moment, preoccupied by the storm that came with Scott's return into her life.
They had not seen each other in two weeks as they met during the gala between couples. Tiptoeing through the possibilities for two weeks, she could not escape her past or the thoughts of what she was doing when she let him back into her life. She believed she had left behind those feelings when she was still with Scott reviewing everything; he just made her feel that she was not ready to.
She was still able to recall the gaze that he gave her on that fateful night of regret and annumement. He had apologized, of course, but apologies were easy to come by when you wanted something from the man who was the source of the problem. Trust was not. This was not after the manner in which he had left her heartbroken for several years back now.
A gentle knock at the door upset her from her reverie. She turned, heart racing. She darn well knew who it was even without opening the door to figure out who she was expecting to have a visit from. Scott had sent her a message in the morning asking whether they could speak. But she had wavered and then given the nod. In the wake of this, there were things that needed to be said; there were things she had to hear.
Natalie gave a sigh and slowly got up, made her way to the door, and opened it. Scott stood on the other side of the set, fully coated, wearing jeans, a dark jacket, and a style. He was the man she knew and still was not; he was the man she had shared a love for once upon a time. He had a sense of importance about him now, a burden in the way his eyes looked at me that I hadn't noticed earlier.
"Hi," he asked carefully, raising his voice, though it was still weak.
"Hi," she said politely and opened the door ajar to allow him to enter the house.
As Scott stepped into the apartment, the tension between him and Natalie could hardly be missed because they were glazing at each other, knowing the unsaid words, which never could be stated. Natalie motioned toward the living room, and they both sat down on opposite ends of the couch, the space between them feeling wider than the physical distance.
Scott ruffled his hair before he could decide where to start. "I did not anticipate it to be this difficult," he said.
Natalie folded her arms in an attempt to minimize the trembling she could feel on the inside of her body. "You wanted to talk. So talk."
Their eyes locked, and for the first time Scott looked at her rashly; an apology rang alongside steely resolve. "I know I hurt you, Natalie. He said, "I understood that this was the most inappropriate thing to do and that I have suffered for this decision every day."
She did not reply at once to him and let his comments sink in. Scott had apologized several times before, but this time I felt a certain amount of sincerity in his statement. The edge and roughness to his voice seemed to reach into emotion inside her she had not known was there.
"You got up and went without telling me," she said softly at last. "No explanation, no closure. You just... vanished."
To say the least, Scott's face was full of shame as he looked down. At some point, whenever I did this, I thought I was right in conducting it. Things at my business were getting worse; I was under enormous stress, and I couldn't burden you with that. But I now understand that it has nothing to do with those and was not my prerogative to make. I should have been open and told you what I was dealing with."
Natalie's heart constricted hearing this from him. She had spent much of her time thinking about why he left the home and why he abandoned her and her children instead of going to find a better woman to wed.
When she heard that it had nothing to do with her, she should have been relieved, but instead it was getting worse.
"You did not trust me." She made this statement again. I could feel the sting in her words.
"I decided that I couldn't trust myself," he retorted. The bitterness was dripping from his voice. "Mainly I was afraid of failure, of losing everything for which I strive. And then, as the saying goes, I lost the biggest price, which is you."
Natalie tried to swallow the lump in her throat sharply, the memories still bitter, even if time had gone by. "I never had a chance to stand up for our relationship."
"I know," said Scott quietly, choked up. "And I will always wish that we have not done so."
For what seemed to be a very long time, neither of them said anything. It was clearly evident that even after the passage of so many years, the burden of the past had weighed on both of them.
At last, Natalie got up from the table for her to get some space from him. She rose and moved over to the window, looking back at the city once more. "Why now, Scott? Why now come back after all these many years? What do you want from me?"
Scott also got up, his steps slow as he moved towards her. To get explicit, playing and winning at a game that had me hooked, I just couldn't stay away any longer. It took me several years to try and create a new personality for myself, and no matter how wealthy and influential I was, a part of me was always empty. You were missing."
Hearing all that, Natalie felt her heart tremble in her chest, but she did not allow that to show on her face. "I've moved on," she replied, and it was hard for her to say the latter, for she knew in her heart that it wasn't true.
"I know," said Scott, and he said softly. I never wanted your forgiveness, and I don't think we can pretend it never happened."
But you should know now that I am not that man you have known before. I've changed, Natalie. Instead of saying, "I have learned my lessons." I use this by saying, "I have moved on, saying, 'I've learned from my mistakes."
She glanced at him theatrically, with her arms still folded. And what if I don't believe you? What if I don't want to give a second chance?"
Scott's jaw clenched and unlatched, and for a brief instant, Natalie recognized the coldness that lay within him. But that was short-lived and was succeeded by the same guilty and regretful look he had displayed before. "Then I'll accept that," the man returned calmly. "But I had to try. It seems to me that I couldn't look myself in the face again if I didn't give it a go, at the very least.
Natalie's mind was whirling with the memory of the times Scott had stalled her and with the attraction she still felt towards him. Did she forgive him, and could she trust him again? Could she dare to get vulnerable in order to feel such pain?
As if he knew something was wrong on the inside of her, Scott moved closer to her. "I realize that forgiving a person who has caused you pain cannot be a pleasant experience," he softly said. But I want an opportunity to show that I have not been the same person as before. Just one chance, Natalie."
For a moment, she tried to look into his eyes, searching for any act of infidelity, any clue that would tell her he still has it in him—to break her completely. But all she could see was real; the realness overwhelmed her more than she did not want it to.
She had been about to answer when her phone rang, interrupting their silent standoff on the coffee table. She quickly looked at the screen, and there was David's name blinking on the screen. Her heart sank. It is often seen that a person forgets about his/her plans, like they forgot the dinner tonight was planned with them.
Scott looked at her in the same manner, watching as she glanced down the hall; his eyes flashed something indeterminable before returning to their normal state. "David?" he asked, although he strained not to show anything on his face.
After the turn of events, Natalie nodded her head in accordance, thinking how guilty she actually felt. She pictured Scott home and was so engrossed in that that she didn't consider how this would be to David. He always stood by her, always there for her, and here she was now on the horns of a dilemma between a man from her history and a man from the present.
"I should go," Scott said suddenly and started walking toward the door. It was good to see, though she said softly, "I didn't mean to make things difficult for you."
"Scott, wait–" Natalie tried to say, but he quickly left the room that was nearly up to the door.
He hesitated with his hand on the doorknob and looked at her again. So forgive me, but those are the words of an optimistic man; I am not giving up on us, Natalie. But I will accept whatever decision you make the time and again. He looked at her for a second more, then turned the door handle and went out, and she was left to ponder her situation.
When the door closed behind him, the mixed feelings with which the girl was loaded overwhelmed her. Scott's homecoming had upset her status quo and brought memories of abuse she had thought she had erased. And now she was standing in front of the very dilemma that was going to make her decision a matter of either-or.
Her phone rang again, and she was reminded of the life she had with David—the calm and never aggressive man who never beaten her like Scott did. But even as she thought about David, Scott, Scott, Scott linger on her mind as the passion they had shared and the love that they once had for each other.
Natalie collapsed on the couch and put her head into her hands. She didn't know what to do. But there was another part of her mind, a more primal, a more basic part that knew that David was the risk, the man who would never hurt her. Her feelings were never steady, and right now her heart was leading her somewhere she was not ready to be.
A knock on the door made her sit up, and for a second she imagined it was Scott who was returning. But when she opened the door, David was there, smiling warmly and bearing a bouquet of flowers at that.
"Hi," he whispered and gently kissed her right on the cheek. "I missed you."
Natalie emulously tried to smile, though the tightness in her chest threatened to overwhelm her with guilt. "I missed you too."
But before David pulled her close, all she could think of was the man who had left her and her apartment just minutes before—the same man who is slowly trying to assume total control over her life.
That tempest breathing in her bosom was not yet done.