Chapter 30 - Florida Man Ditches Wedding Ceremony to Watch Isekai Anime, Bride Storms His House Demanding Sexy Time in Front of Onlookers, They Divorce Afterward
Felix emerged from his cover, scanning the perimeter and rooftop. Apart from the broken rooftop tiles, he saw no one but Robert's underlings. A few nimble soldiers parkoured to the roof, securing the advantageous positions. Two of them left a brown glow as they leaped across buildings, pursuing fleeing assailants.
The crisis was over.
Seeing the local law enforcement arrive at the scene, Felix lowered his gun and let out a long sigh. He turned his attention to Robert and Roland, approaching the group of bodyguards.
Noticing Felix approaching, the guards saluted, pointing their right elbows forward while raising their forearms straight, clenching their right fists, and showing their firm backhands to the person of honor.
"Thank Goddess Eleanor you're here with us, sir mage! Thank you for your assistance!"
Felix sized them up and frowned, wondering where he had seen this salute before. But as the old proverb says, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." He mimicked their salute.
"Good work."
The men smiled brightly and nodded. When Felix lowered his salute, they returned to their duties, except for two knights in shining armor at the back. They approached him and lifted their visors.
"Sir Ariel, you have rescued us once again."
"More like you expected this to happen. If you knew you were being targeted, why did you arrange this ceremony in public? And what the hell are those?!" Felix pointed at the humanoid mud golems, which were slowly crumbling into the dirt.
"Oh, those?" Roland laughed. "Those were our summons. We disguised mud golems as us to bait Turo House's spies and assassins."
The mud golems were elemental spirits summoned by Robert and Roland. Only earth mages could command them to perform simple tasks, but the caster had to expend a significant amount of energy and mana to do so.
Unfortunately, Felix didn't know this, nor did he care. He was more interested in why Roland and Robert had been acting suspiciously lately.
"Why though?"
Robert smiled faintly. "It's complicated. Let's just say we need our townspeople to realize that Turo House is a tyrant family."
In short, Robert and Roland had plotted to shift public sentiment to their side while villainizing the Turo House. As victims, the townspeople involved would soon join the Lundop House's cause, becoming soldiers or contributing to their future war.
Additionally, since nobles were involved, they needed a sound excuse to explain to the emperor. Without a solid reason, other noble houses might find faults with Robert's family and attempt to devour their territory.
Robert changed the subject, "It's a political matter. You don't have to worry about it. For now, congratulations on making a name for yourself. The soldiers will soon spread words of your deeds. Your store will be very popular within weeks!"
"Meh, fine."
Felix shrugged, disliking politics and complicated conspiracy theories. He preferred simple solutions, such as blasting his enemies with a shotgun and being done with it.
"We'll handle this. You should return to your house and check if they broke anything. As for the ceremony and the wedding, we'll postpone them to another date." Roland waved his hand and sent Felix away.
Reminded of potential intruders, Felix excused himself and returned to his new home.
.
.
After Felix had left, Robert's friendly smile faded. He shifted his gaze to the rooftop, where his summon had caught a few fleeing assassins.
"Father, I hope you've prepared a countermeasure against Joxonu."
Roland crossed his arms and snorted, "The Black Forest Queen has promised to send reinforcements. If Bill Turo or Buck Turo is dumb enough to mobilize their forces here, they'll be in for a surprise."
"Diana? Will she come? I thought those lamias hated us."
"I promised to share with her some freshwater from our lake."
"Oh… I see." Robert nodded, understanding why the monster queen easily agreed to his father's proposal. Slightly shaking his head, he pitied the queen and her subordinates. "Poor ladies. Well, it's their own doing. They reap what they sow."
"That's what she gets for cooperating with Joxonu. Well, she has learned her lesson. She will be stuck with us for a long time."
The father and son snickered and returned to their mansion, waiting for their subordinates to bring the captives. Meanwhile, the other knights and soldiers rushed to aid the citizens and treat their wounds.
.
.
On his way home, Felix didn't forget to snatch a few assassin corpses for free mana and some pocket money. No one noticed the dead bodies vanishing into thin air.
Returning home, he rushed to the third floor to check the attic. Fortunately, no one had broken through the window or the rooftop to steal his items. The second floor was also left untouched.
Sitting on his bed, Felix opened the inventory menu and dissected the corpses for mana as usual. But this time, Jessica informed him of something new.
"Memory?" Felix was bemused. "You can even extract someone else's memory?!"
Intrigued, Felix asked for more information. "Do I lose anything by doing that?"
"Sweet!" With nothing to lose, Felix agreed, eager to test the new system ability. "Show me what you can do!"
*DING*
A new window appeared next to the main screen, unveiling some details about the assassin.
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Ragi, the Sharpshooter
Ragi was sold to the Turo House as a slave when he was 6. Serving under the Turo Clan, he was raised as a combat slave. At 16, he showed talent in sharpshooting and archery, earning him a spot in an archer squad.
For decades, Ragi earned his keep by joining the battlefront against the Crimson Desert Kingdom until Buck Turo transferred him to his personal assassin unit. From that day on, Ragi served Buck Turo, assassinating countless men his master hated. He was also responsible for ambushing and murdering Vane Lundop.
Before his demise, Ragi received an order from Buck Turo to assassinate Roland Lundop and bring Valley Lundop back to his master. He met his end during the battle.
.
The brief biography provided enough information about the assassin's background and the mastermind behind the assault. Felix recalled the cliché stories Roland had told him and shook his head.
"Can't they be more secretive? Aren't they afraid of being busted or arrested?" Felix found the local assassins stupid.
"…No, thanks. I'm a harmless Floridian. I ain't gonna do some crazy shits and get myself on the newspaper's front page or a stupid article-"
*TOK*
*TOK*
While bantering with Jessica, Felix heard loud knocks on the wall as if someone had tossed stones at the house. Opening a window and looking outside, Felix found a familiar face.
Jane, in a white dress, was in front of his house, waving her hand at Felix.
"Darling, open the door! Your wife is here!"
Jane's voice was so loud that nearby soldiers and injured townspeople turned their heads. When they noticed Jane in her bridal dress, they bitterly laughed, realizing their promised wedding ceremony was ruined.
But Jane's next words stunned everyone.
"We haven't slept together for a week! I miss you and your hips!"
Everyone: "…"
Felix dully stared at Jane and calmly pleaded, "Can we cancel our wedding? I mean, I want to divorce, right now."