Chapter 25 - Smokers Rejoice, Doctors Baffled! Florida Man's Study Suggests Smoking One Cigarette Daily Extends Life by 6 Years
"What the hell?"
Felix wryly smiled and snorted. A warm white smoke exited his nostrils, emitting a faint roast pig aroma. When Felix inhaled deeply, the air felt colder than usual. Moreover, the morning breeze felt like a winter storm whenever it grazed his skin.
Touching his arms and neck, Felix figured out the reason - his body temperature was as high as a cat's. As a result, his natural thermoception changed. Looking down, Felix noticed his clothes were gone.
"My suit! My freaking 50-mana suit! Who stole it?!"
Looking around further, Felix saw the area around him was charred black as if it had been set aflame for a long period. A few pieces of burnt clothes, remnants of his leather shoes, and a melted belt buckle littered the ground.
It was not hard to put the pieces together and figure out what had transpired. Felix stared at Jessica.
"Did that pill do this?"
"…"
Felix rubbed his arms, warming himself and opening the shop menu. After spending 50 mana to get winter clothes and a coat, he returned to the mansion.
…
Upon returning to his room, a house servant visited Felix and informed him about the moving schedule. Next week, Robert and Roland would formally appoint Felix as an honorary knight of Terra City at the town square at noon. Then, they would advertise Felix's new shop and house to the public.
Felix had no issue with the appointment. He accepted the schedule and sent the servant away. Then, Felix relaxed in his room.
Unfortunately, a world without the Internet or Netflix could be boring when one is stuck in a room for an entire week. It felt no different from a prison.
Having no hobby, Felix turned his attention to the system. Killing time, he unloaded a used supply crate from his inventory and checked its remaining content.
The MREs and water were all consumed, forcing Felix to unpack the second supply crate.
While sorting the supply, Felix arranged the unpacked two-supply-crate's worth of items on the floor as they occupied too many item slots.
- Two combat knives.
- Two sets of first aid kits—one used, one new.
- 12 bottles of liquid antibiotics.
- Two cartons of unknown cigarettes.
- Two lighters.
- Two portable tents.
- 10 MREs.
- Two packs of instant coffee bean powder.
- 19 rolls of premium toilet paper.
- Five gallons of drinkable water.
Looking at the items, Felix scratched his head, contemplating what to do with some of them. For example, the portable tents were situational, which he didn't need. The antibiotics were also inferior to the lesser healing potions, but they might be useful to treat some sicknesses.
But in the end, Felix didn't need them.
'I should sell these. I don't think I need extra first aid kits. I'll keep only one set with me.'
One man's trash is another man's treasure - Felix believed the townspeople might need them. He gathered the portable tents, antibiotics, and the used first aid kit to one side, allocating the items as future merchandise.
Additionally, Felix was not a coffee person, and he was not a knife master. He tossed the coffee bags and the combat knives onto the pile. This left some MREs, water, toilet paper, lighters, and cigarettes.
Neatly, Felix stored the backup food, water, and toilet paper in the supply crate. When it was the cigarettes' turn, Felix paused and read the package's label.
[Mancant Inferno]
Raising his eyebrows, Felix deposited the carton into his inventory to appraise it.
…
Mancant Inferno Cigarettes
These premium cigarettes are imported from a hazardous planet called "Mencant," where the infamous tobacco plants "Flame Cyclone" grow by consuming boiling lava and their natural habitats, Machinemen and Heaven Swimmers, collecting the purest mana oil of the planet in their leaves.
Those with fire lungs, such as fire dragons, favor these cigarettes as they can restore some of their stamina and energy. This tobacco brand is also popular among phoenixes as it tastes like their parents' puke.
The smoke produced by mancant inferno cigarettes carries the same properties as tear gas. Do not blow it into other people's faces. Wear a gas mask before using the product to protect your eyes.
Effects:
- Increase mana by one every 10 seconds.
- Restore 1% of your max energy every second.
- Decrease your lifespan by ten years per second if you do not have one of these innate talents: Fire Physique, Ethereal Physique, Void Physique, Yin-Yang Physique, Mana Physique, Fire Lungs, Fire Dragon Lungs, Phoenix Lungs, or Immortality-related talents. Otherwise, increase your lifespan by one year every 60 seconds.
- Each cigarette lasts one minute.
…
The detail was out of this world. Even though Felix was not a smoker, he couldn't help but be astonished.
'Wow. A mana every 10 seconds? Wait, one minute is 60 seconds. How many mana will I get if I smoke a carton?'
One pack of cigarettes came with 10 cigarettes, and one carton contained 10 packs. Felix had two cartons, therefore, he possessed a total of 200 unpacked cigarettes. And lastly, one cigarette lasted one minute each.
60 seconds x 200 cigarettes = 12,000 seconds.
12,000 seconds = 1,200 mana!
This didn't include four other supply crates, which contained 4 additional cartons!
Felix drooled at the thought of acquiring 600 mana every day from completing daily quests and smoking. Coincidentally, Felix had free time, and he was slightly stressed out. It was the perfect time for some puffing.
Taking a plastic lighter, Felix walked to the balcony and admired the garden view. Unwrapping a pack of cigarettes, he pulled out a red roll of special tobacco blend into his mouth and flicked the lighter. The small flame lit the cigarette tip, burning the red paper and the red pieces of dried tobacco leaves inside.
Inhaling the smoke into his mouth for the first time, his tongue tasted the spicy hot smell of sweet peppers. Swallowing the smoke into his stomach and lungs, Felix felt like he had feasted on a seasoned pork chop steak.
However, his virgin lungs had never smoked before. They instantly rejected the red mist inside, forcing Felix to cough.
*COUGH*
Felix pulled the cigarette from his mouth and choked. Red and white smoke came out from his mouth and nostrils. Coughing for the 10th time, Felix accidentally spat a spark of flame, but he didn't notice it.
Even though the smoke irritated his throat, nostrils, and lungs, Felix forced himself to inhale another puff.
*COUGH*
No smoker gets used to the foul air when they first puff a cigarette unless they grow up in a toxic environment. As Felix's family never taught him how to enjoy smoking, he struggled to make use of the treasure between his fingers.
A portion of white smoke particles touched his eyes. Instantly, Felix felt a sharp burning pain inside his eye sockets as if someone had pepper-sprayed his face.
"AH! FUCK!"
Felix doused the cigarette and staggered back into the room. Grabbing a gallon of water, he poured it on his face, washing away the tear gas, wetting his coat and winter jackets, and spilling it on the fur carpet. Wiping his face with the hem of his collar shirt, Felix could faintly see the world again.
Frustrated, Felix almost cursed Jessica out loud for not warning him. Still, he was sane enough not to lash out at an innocent AI woman.
Despite the failure, Felix planned to try again. He browsed the system shop and searched for eye-protection goggles. After purchasing one, he put it on and returned to the balcony, lighting the extinguished cigarette.
The taste was different this time, but Felix still choked. He gritted his teeth and stayed there, training a smoker's breathing technique by himself.
…
Meanwhile, a transparent silhouette had been standing in the corner of Felix's room since he had returned. Robert's aide, Sierra, had always been monitoring Felix's actions since his arrival. Today as well, she watched him magically summon items out of nowhere and remove them.
As a third-circle wind mage who excelled in transparent magic, Sierra knew a thing or two about spatial storage theories. Commonly known in the mage circle, only fifth-circle mages could learn them.
Watching Felix, Sierra couldn't help but think of him as a silly, naive young man. However, his mysterious abilities said otherwise.
Sierra silently calculated and came up with hypotheses.
'He's either a fifth-circle mage in disguise or a genius young mage who already comprehends a fifth-circle spell. There's faint mana when he exhales, so he has definitely learned a mana-breathing technique. Well, he's a mage for sure. Lord Robert and Roland misjudged this person.'
Coming to a conclusion, Sierra quietly sneaked out of the room and reported her findings to Robert.