Chapter 27 - Florida Man Dumped by Girlfriend for Smoking 2 Cartons of Cigarettes Daily, Getting Lung Cancer without Her Approval, and Not Naming Her as His Insurance Beneficiary
Felix's heart sank, not because of the breakup proposal but because of the threat of the smoke. He remembered that the smoke was a deadly poison mist - anyone who inhaled it would lose 10 years of lifespan per second. Entering the room while he was smoking was a death sentence.
Worried about Jane's condition, Felix doused the cigarettes and deeply exhaled, spitting all the fumes from his lungs into the air above. Opening the system shop, he searched for fans and other means of ventilation.
Unfortunately, most battery-operated fans were small, which was insufficient to suck away the hazardous smoke and foul air in the room. The larger ones needed electricity, which did not exist in this world. As for the high-tech ones, the cheapest liquid-battery fan had a price tag of 1,000 mana, which was too expensive for a tool.
Believing he could acquire 600 mana every day, Felix purchased one. The item appeared in his inventory instantly. A black 74-inch-diameter industrial fan came with a five-liter metal water tank containing an unknown liquid battery. Behind the fan was an automatic arm supporting a dark solar panel. On the metal tank, a digital panel showed the energy level.
Felix inspected the item and realized it came with a fully charged battery. As the switches featured only on and off options, even a simple-minded person like him could figure out how to operate it.
Turning the switch on, the fan whirred. A second later, it sucked air from the back and pushed it forward, creating a torrent of strong wind.
Felix lifted it and placed it on the balcony, facing the garden. He adjusted the angle and pointed it upward so the smoke wouldn't accidentally affect the garden below. When the installation was finished, Felix rushed to the door but didn't open it.
Thinking of Jane's safety, Felix chatted with her through the door instead of being face-to-face.
"Sorry about before. Actually, I was testing my artifacts," Felix made up an excuse.
Jane pinched her nose and complained, "It smells like burnt pigs. What kind of tobacco are you using?"
Once again, Felix's heart dropped to his feet. His voice shook and cracked, "D-Did you inhale the smoke?!"
"Not really. I was holding my breath when I sneaked up on you. But yeah, I smelled it."
Felix panicked. He looked at Jessica and questioned her in his mind.
'Jessica, can we check someone else's status screen? I want to see her condition!'
Jessica dully stared at Felix as usual, but her eyes flickered for a moment. She pointed out something Felix had never paid attention to.
Felix opened his system window and rechecked the new information about his age and lifespan.
Age: 18/31
Seeing the information, Felix tilted his head. 'Does it mean I'm 18 years old and I have 31 years to live?'
'WHAT THE HELL?! WHY?! I THOUGHT MY BODY CONDITION WAS FLAWLESS!'
'…Do it. Show her status to me.'
*DING*
Jessica opened a new window for Felix. The status screen of Jane appeared. On the top right of the screen were two images of Jane's avatar and her full naked body, while the left side offered simple details similar to Felix's general information.
.
Name: Jane (No Surname)
Age: 23/65
Bloodline: Mixan Human
Element Affinity: Wind
Level: 1
Energy: 12/12
Mana: 12
Innate Talents: High Jump, Parkour, Fast Recovery, Pain Resilience, Accurate Aim
.
Just as Jessica had said, Jane had no issues with her lifespan. Relieved, Felix returned his attention to Jane.
"Anyway, why are you sneaking around? Also, I'm not breaking up with you. If you hate it, I can quit smoking."
"I was jesting," Jane snickered, finding Felix's panicking voice cute. She teased him, "I guess I'm no longer in the mood tonight. Make sure not to smoke tomorrow. Good night, my lord."
Jane's footsteps moved away from the door, heading back to Valley's room in the other mansion's wing. After the footsteps were gone, Felix opened the door and peeked outside.
Nobody was there anymore.
Felix let out a long sigh. Closing the door, he returned to his room and contemplated his life choices.
Smoking a carton a day was an arduous task. Even though one roll lasted only a minute, trying to smoke every cigarette in his inventory would take him days.
So far, Felix had used up 180 pieces. From his calculation, his mana should have gone up by 1,080. However, this wasn't the case in reality.
.
Name: Felix Ariel
Age: 18/105
Bloodline: [Unknown]
Element Affinity: Fire, Metal, Void
Authorized Level: Super Democracy Pass (F)
Level: 7
Energy: 1,562/2,329
Mana: 1,329
Innate Talent: Flame Lungs
.
His mana was at 1,477 before he started smoking. But after puffing almost 200 rolls, his mana only increased by 852 due to his inefficient breathing pace, lung capacity, and the dispersion of smoke. It seemed the advertised description was as overrated as modern products.
Fortunately, the energy recovery rate was accurate as his energy had bounced back from 1,329 to 1,562 in 10 seconds.
Felix made his decision. He would not randomly smoke indoors anymore. Instead, he would either use the smoke as a chemical weapon or an emergency recovery method when he needed extra energy.
The next day, Felix toured the mansion's garden and inner walls again, searching for an isolated place to smoke. He returned to the neglected watchtower first.
The area was as empty as the other day. As the location was on top of a tall cliff and the southwest of the citadel, the tower welcomed strong winds from the east.
Everything was perfect as he was not in the headwind. Felix grinned and deployed the liquid-battery fan, letting it recharge using sunlight. As for him, he sat on the battlement, puffing smoke while admiring the scenery.
This became Felix's daily routine. For the entire week, he visited the isolated watchtower to smoke for hours. However, the nights were lonely as Jane no longer visited him due to Valley's unstable mental health.
…
A week passed. It was the day for Felix to move to the new place.