SUICHI SOLILOQUY
People often compare life to a roller coaster, saying that it goes up and down at different times. However, since my son passed away, the roller coaster has only gone down.
At the age twenty-four I married Mi, the love of my life. My encounter with Mi was something out of a movie.
I was 21 years old, in my final year of college, and I was heading home from the party. I was so inebriated that I lost my balance and fell to the ground. Suddenly, she approached me and led the way to the closest bench.
It was love at first sight when we first spoke, eventually met, and found ourselves living together.
I felt extremely fortunate that my dream of marrying my first love had come true, as it is said to require a great deal of luck.
In my late thirties, we had two lovely children, and because life was going so well, time seemed to be flying by instead of walking.
Mi was happy, and our children were growing well, giving me motivation to work harder so that I could support them. Everything was great, and it felt like the pinnacle of my life, but just like on a roller coaster, the higher the peak is, the lower the drop.
The drop appeared in the form of a demon possessing my older son, stealing my entire family's smile.
My wife developed an obsession with our daughter after we lost our older son. She became extremely protective and devoted to our younger daughter, to the point where our daughter did not even understand what a simple lifestyle was. My daughter got to the point where she expected to get anything she wanted, instantaneously.
It was not just Mi's fault; I was there all the time and could have stopped her at any time, but I decided not to.
Unlike Mi, I was aware that something was wrong and that I should stop her, but every time I considered doing so, I was reminded of the look on her face the day her son passed away.
Even though I knew I would take their smile I promised myself next time I'll try to stop her. I must say it, or it will destroy the lives of the people I care about.
***END***
"Suichi!"
I heard a familiar scream from the upper floor, where my daughter's room was located.
"Huh, Mi?"
Even though I had a night job yesterday, I jumped out of bed and ran to my wife as soon as I heard her scream.
"Is everything okay?"
"Because of you, our daughter left the house."
Her tone was slightly sorrowful and angry as she spoke.
I was confused when I heard that she left the house.
"Left where?"
"You loser, she left the house," she yelled.
Left the house? I looked into my daughter's room, which was as disorganized as usual. Her clothes were strewn all over the place, and her makeup kit was on the ground.
"You didn't clean her room? She will get angry again."
Mi was holding a paper in her right hand, which caught my attention.
"Are you out of your mind? She left the house. Look here."
Then she handed me a piece of paper with writing on it.
Hey, old man, I am leving this house, and it is all your fault. You are the only reason my life has taken such a terrible turn. Mom, you share some of the blame as well. If only you had said that you would have divorced him and wed a wealthy person, my life would have turned out differently. I am moving out with Candi. Don't even try to get in touch.
"See, you are the only one at fault. This would not have happened if you had given her the money she asked for yesterday," she yelled.
Her voice was so loud that it could have been clearly heard by the neighbors.
"I have never once refused her request for money, but yesterday she asked for an amount that was equivalent to what I make in about five months."
"So what? Do you truly believe that money is more important than our daughter?"
Mi then approached me and grabbed my t-shirt, giving me a look that clearly indicated that I should stop talking.
"No it's not but—"
"But what? Woman's her age need money."
"I know but she's 20 girls her age do part-time to earn their money but—"
"You mean our daughter should have a part-time job? Then what are you even here for?"
Am I really just here to make money for you?
"Go find her!"
"Mi, she is 20. She will be fine."
I have been trying to talk about this for years, but I have never been able to work up the courage to say it. Perhaps today will be the day.
"You dimwit, You have no idea what she might be doing right now without me around. She is still a little kid, I still wash her clothes and take care of her chores."
She said, still clutching my t-shirt and with tears in her eyes.
"Listen, Mi, she is my daughter as well, and I care for her just as much as you—"
"So why are you standing here, go look for her?"
"Mi, don't you think our parenting was incorrect?"
"What?"
With my hands, I held her shoulders.
"Our daughter is 20, but she still acts like a child and is irresponsible. I mean, did your mother clean your room when you were her age?"
"Looking after her right now does not bother me at all, but what about when we are not around?"
"You obviously don't understand, huh"
Mi face had the same expression that she had that day.
"Listen—"
*Ring*
My phone rang which was on the lower floor.
"Wait a second"
I moved down to check my phone, and as expected, it was a call from work.
"Suichi did you forgot you have a two shifts today?"
"I apologize, sir, but may I switch shifts for today?"
"What? You mentioned the other day that you would make up the missed shifts."
"Ok, Sir"
Mi came down to where I was. I noticed that she had a dead look on her face.
"Mi, can we discuss this later?"
"..."
"Mi, I apologize, but I missed a lot of shifts this week and I will be fired if I miss any more."
"I want a divorce."
"What? "Don't say something like that, sigh, we will look for her when I return."
I changed to my work uniform and left the house. My superior called me as soon as I arrived at the police station to let me know that this was my last chance.