Xiao Zhanyuan's right hand still held Xiang Yu's left hand, which was hooked up to the IV. He seemed much more relaxed. "Although you won't admit it, I know you have feelings for me," he said, looking at Xiang Yu and speaking so softly it was almost a whisper. "Let me tell you my story, okay? Actually, I'm not sure if it's a story. They're mostly dreams I've had over the past month, but every time I wake up, they feel so real, as if I truly experienced them."
Xiang Yu's brow twitched, but she was drawn in by Xiao Zhanyuan's voice, following him into his dream world.
**Xiao Zhanyuan's Dream**
I was born unloved by my parents, but luckily, there was an old lady in the village who often took care of me, and that's how I survived. Later, due to a policy that allowed children of educated youths to return to Hu City, I came back to the city. Although my grandmother and aunt weren't particularly affectionate, they didn't treat me badly either. Left to my own devices, I dropped out of school in my early teens, went into streets, and caused trouble. Eventually, I apprenticed under a mechanic and gradually settled down, able to support myself. Xiao Zhanyuan's voice was calm and flat, summarizing his life before Xiang Yu met him in just a few sentences. Xiang Yu's hand unconsciously tightened around Xiao Zhanyuan's. He smiled at her, but his eyes were filled with pain.
Later, I met a girl, Xiao Zhanyuan looked at Xiang Yu gently. She was beautiful, and I often watched her secretly. At that time, all I did was watch her from afar. One day, she came to get her bike fixed, and that's how we met. I asked her name, and she said it was Xiang Yu. Xiang Yu's heart tightened, and she held her breath. She didn't know what to do, so she hung her head to hide her emotions. Xiao Zhanyuan seemed lost in his memories, continuing his story. After that, every time she passed by, we would greet each other, but it was only a hello. Still, being able to see her and say hello to her regularly made me very happy. Until one day, she was harassed by thugs on her way home late. I chased them away and saved her. That day, I held her in my arms, and her tears burned a hole in my heart. I thought it was enough just to watch her from a distance and greet her, but that day, I started to have wild hopes. Maybe she could like me too. She fell asleep on my bed, and I held her hand all night, but when morning came, I didn't dare to say anything to her. After that, I went to her school every day to watch her secretly. Then one day, I saw her smiling at a boy, and he hugged her. I thought I could control myself and stop thinking about her, but I couldn't. One night when she was returning late, I cornered her in an alley and kissed her repeatedly, asking her to choose me. She refused, and I wouldn't let her go.
Xiang Yu's fingers trembled slightly. Xiao Zhanyuan lifted her chin, his thumb brushing over her lips. "Her lips were so soft, Xiang Yu." Xiang Yu's heart was pounding, but she turned her head away to avoid his hand, frowning. "That's the Xiang Yu in your dream, not me." "Yes, that wasn't you. The Xiang Yu in my dream didn't know how to resist. Even when bullied, she wouldn't fight back, only cry endlessly."
He continued, after kissing her that time, she started to avoid me carefully. I could only watch her from a distance again. Later, the thugs who had bullied her came back for revenge. I fought with them and got a little injured. My friends couldn't stand it and went to find her. I thought she didn't care about me and wouldn't come, but she did. I had deep feelings for her, my longing was carved into my bones. When I saw her, I only wanted to hug her, kiss her, possess her. But seeing her cry, I couldn't bear it and let her go. Xiang Yu's hand trembled again, and Xiao Zhanyuan gently stroked her ring finger as if to soothe her.
We made no progress. I could only go to her school and watch her every day until one day, Xiao Zhanyuan's tone turned cold, with a hint of murderous intent. Until one day, I saw an old man, probably her teacher, harassing her publicly. He touched her back, her waist, and tried to kiss her with his filthy mouth. But my foolish girl didn't know how to resist. She only cried by the lake alone. I was afraid that disgusting man would do something worse to her, so I found him and wanted to teach him a lesson, to warn him to stay away from her. Xiang Yu clutched Xiao Zhanyuan's hand tightly. "So it was you who stabbed him?" Xiao Zhanyuan's gaze softened as he looked at her, gently probing, "So, Xiang Yu, how do you know that?" His eyes were dark, filled with compassionate understanding. Xiang Yu froze, tears welling up, barely under control. So that's why she could never find Xiao Zhanyuan later. She felt immense torment in her heart, opening her mouth but unable to speak. Xiao Zhanyuan didn't push her, continuing slowly. Later, I accidentally stabbed that disgusting man with a screwdriver I carried. After that, I turned myself in and was sentenced to two years. His voice grew hoarser. Inside the jail, inside the jail… He couldn't continue, pausing for a moment before saying, I didn't have anyone who cared about me, so life felt meaningless. Xiang Yu reached out to cover his mouth, stopping him from speaking. Xiao Zhanyuan pulled her hand down, holding it as he continued, But then I thought of her, that little hope. Xiang Yu's tears fell freely. "I'm sorry, Xiao Zhanyuan, I'm sorry." "You're not the Xiang Yu in my dreams, and I'm not the Xiao Zhanyuan in my dreams. Why are you apologizing to me?" Xiao Zhanyuan's voice held sharpness and sarcasm, but he sighed, wiping Xiang Yu's tears. "Every time you cry, whatever you ask of me, I'll do it." He smiled self-deprecatingly. "Maybe this is my fate."
After I got out, I went to find her. It took a lot of effort, but I found her. She smiled at others, but was so cold to me. I watched her try on wedding dresses, holding hands with that man, choosing rings, but she was so impatient with me, wouldn't even speak to me. I didn't want to live, thinking maybe I'd die in front of her so she'd remember me forever. Maybe I even thought about taking her with me, so we'd never be apart. That day was chaotic. I couldn't bear to let her die when I saw her, but that man thought I'd harm her and fought with me. Then… "Stop, stop," Xiang Yu clutched her head, feeling like it would split open, blood filling her vision. Lu Heng's blood, his final image. It was all her fault, all her fault. She hurt Xiao Zhanyuan and Lu Heng. The needle in her hand came loose, blood flowing out. Xiao Zhanyuan quickly pressed on it, "Xiang Yu, I just want you to know that the Xiao Zhanyuan in my dream was too obsessed and dark. He loved you but didn't know how to love. And I, the Xiao Zhanyuan before you, am not him. I just hope you'll follow your heart. No matter who you choose, I'll respect it. I love you, so I need to tell you. But if you don't choose me, it's okay. Xiang Yu, you're much braver than the Xiang Yu in my dream. Just like you told me years ago when we first met, because no one loves us, we must love and cherish ourselves. Xiang Yu, I just want you to be happy, to do what you want, to love who you want, even if it's not me."