Chapter 19 - 19

  Actually, Lu Heng had come that day to say goodbye to Xiang Yu. For better opportunities, he was going to play soccer in Japan for two years. He wanted Xiang Yu to agree to be his girlfriend and to wait for him to come back and marry her. He hadn't expected Xiang Yu to kiss him before he could speak, filling his heart with joy. "Xiang Yu, I've been waiting for you to say you'll be my girlfriend," Lu Heng said, looking at her. "I'm going to Japan for two years. Will you wait for me?" Xiang Yu also looked at Lu Heng and said, "Okay." She lowered her eyes, hiding her emotions, but Lu Heng instinctively felt her retreating back into her shell, seeming a bit cold. "Xiang Yu," Lu Heng called her name, a trace of unease in his voice, "really?" Xiang Yu seemed to laugh lightly, then lifted her eyes to look at Lu Heng, a faint smile on her lips. "How do you want me to prove it?" Fear surged within Lu Heng. The love he had suppressed for so many years finally overwhelmed him. He covered Xiang Yu's eyes with his hand, blocking out the coldness he saw in them, and couldn't help but kiss her lips. Xiang Yu didn't resist; instead, she cooperated, reaching out to hook her arms around his neck and returning his kiss. She straddled his lap with determination, as if to ensure she wouldn't regret it. Lu Heng's body reacted instinctively. He had never experienced romantic intimacy, and Xiang Yu was the only person he had ever loved. Now, Xiang Yu was opening herself to him, allowing him to take whatever he wanted. He almost lost control, kissing her fervently. He held her as they lay on the couch, leaning over her. When he shakily unbuttoned her collar, he saw her face. It wasn't filled with passion; her brow was furrowed in determination, afraid she might change her mind. This realization pained and troubled him. He loved Xiang Yu, of that he was certain, but did she love him? For so many years, he had been the one pushing their relationship forward, unwilling to let go. But did Xiang Yu love him? He gazed at her pale neck and the tender curves of her exposed skin. Inside, two voices battled. One urged him to love her, to take her as his own. The other, desperately trying to keep him calm, kept asking, does Xiang Yu love you? Lu Heng buried his head in the crook of her neck, "I'm sorry, Xiang Yu. I'm sorry." Xiang Yu looked deeply confused. "Why?" she asked. "Xiang Yu, do you love me?" Xiang Yu couldn't answer, so she said, "I'm willing to wait for you, and I'm willing," she paused, her lips brushing his ear, whispering, "I'm also willing to give myself to you." Lu Heng's heart raced. He wanted to press her down, kiss her, and make her his. But more than that, he wanted her heart to be filled with him, just as his was filled with her. He knew she wasn't sure if she loved him. She was so afraid of regret that she wanted to give herself entirely to him. But he feared her sadness and regret even more. He struggled again, "Xiang Yu, Xiang Yu, but do you love me?" Xiang Yu's face was full of confusion and struggle. After a moment, a tear rolled down her cheek. "I don't know." Her eyes showed sadness and apology. "But I am truly willing to wait for you and truly willing to give myself to you." "You're a fool," Lu Heng said, wiping her tear with his thumb. "You should give yourself to someone you truly love, not out of gratitude and guilt, but because you love him. Do you understand, Xiang Yu?" Xiang Yu stared at Lu Heng, then smiled, her face brightening. "But I am willing to be your girlfriend and willing to wait for you. That's sincere." "Okay," Lu Heng smiled too, "girlfriend."