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'Haahhh, I guess this is my life now'
A kid was lying down on a grassy field as these thoughts floated inside his head.
'It's been 2 years now since I was born. Momma got offscreened, if you really wanna know what happened then read Nah, I'd Adapt again bleeegghhh fake fan.
What the hell did I just say? Anyways, I'm yapping inside my head because there's no one really interesting here to talk to.
So recap would be that I'm a reincarnated person. Not in the same way like those old ahh jujiggers from the fraudeian era or farmer era. It's an isekai situation for ya boi.
My name is Sora or that's what it used to be but in this life my name is now Naohiro Zenin. Crazy right? These are my people man! Men of culture indeed!
I got here when I died after slipping on my own semen on the floor after I just jacked off to pregnant Gojo pics. My blue eyed king truly is the GOAT for making me bust to that swollen belly. Because right after that I met a ROB.
Chill dude, looked like Yujiro Hanma if he was a 5'5 short king. Anyways bro said he was gonna send me to JJK! Whoopie! But this version of JJK would have some major differences he said, in his own words more "PEAK" than the absolute ass that was the original.
I don't know what the heck he is talking about in that part because Gojo just won against Sukuna. But ROB then spoiled me with a vision of 236, Sukuna Kaisen, Yujo, and Disney Kaisen.
I went catatonic after that for who knows how long. The mental damage I received from that much spoilers, hype moments, aura, and ass writing all at once was like getting hit with Go/jo's unlimited void.
After I came to my senses after an indeterminate amount of time I finally knew and decided on what wishes I should get.
1st would be Daddyraga's adaptation as a cursed technique.
This would solve most problems of me getting fodderized by no name ahhh bums since this will give me enough survivability that as long as I don't get one shot then I will eventually adapt and become immune to their technique. Once that happens then your gyat is mine.
2nd would be Poukuna's cursed energy reserves.
This shit would make me a fucking tank just due to the sheer amount and density of this fucker's cursed energy. "I'm out of chakra" what's that? With this much amount the only way I'm ever running out is if I make some bs binding vow or I decided to the run the gauntlet on the whole verse.
3rd wish is that I'm omitted to the balance between curses and sorcerers.
Aww hell yeah bitches! With this one I'm literally the exception! No plot bs curse spirit suddenly appearing that can counter my adaptation.'
The sky is starting to darken as dark clouds rolled by.
"Well I better head back before it rains or else they might question where the hell I go off to whenever I escape from the compound"
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2 years passed by as Naohiro spent most of his time in the Zenin compound either training or trying to awaken his cursed technique.
He also spent a substantial amount of time teaching his lil brother Naoya the ways of being a based and goated man of culture. Teaching him about women's wrongs instead of talking about women's rights.
Naohiro knew his lil brother was truly the one who should become the clan head of the Zenin clan as he witnessed the first words of Naoya.
"Mgh.. mmmm..waaaguhhhh"
"Oh how cute you are young master! Are you trying to say your first words?"
The servant girl said excitedly as she carried my little brother in her arms.
"mmmmmhhmmm....MmMMmmmhhh"
"Ohhh! You're so cute! Come on you can do it!"
Baby Naoya's face twists in frustration as he tries to form the words he wanted to say.
"Maaahhh... Mmmmaaahhhh...Mmaaaah"
The servant girl gasped as she came to the conclusion that Naoya was going to call her mama, stupid woman.
"Awww is young master Naoya gonna call me his mama? I'll definitely take care of you even better now!"
"Maaahhh.....Make me a sandwich woman....googooo gaga"
Bro was born to be based.
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'I'm about to turn 5 now and I still can't use my cursed technique. No biggie, I'll just outbinding vow the binding vow merchant himself if it comes down to it just to munchkin my way to beyond outerversal level strength by the time I fight him or something.
Anyways I'm heading off to my secret spot again to slack off. Staying here in the Zenin compound is fucking boring.
All the old heads are just stuck-up pricks with 10 foot wooden poles stuck in their wrinkly ahh gyats. The women are meh, something about seeing most women even though they could be somewhat attractive doesn't catch my attention anymore.
Even peeking on them while they're bathing isn't giving me any sort of satisfaction. That's so weird, have I turned gayge? It's fucking Naohirover for me. I hope it's just because I haven't reached puberty and not because of that.
The only other thing that's fun to do here is to keep teaching my lil Goatya the ways of the based. Ordering the servant girls to keep making us sandwiches even if we didn't plan to eat them is kinda funny.
Atleast their sandwich making skills have reached a whole nother level now. And instead letting all of that food go to waste I always put them in a trash bag with a label of "food for homeless" to appease the Homeless One if whenever he comes by the Zenin compound to steal some cursed tools from the armory.
Besides all that, life is good and peaceful since I've been here.'
§£%×∆§§{[√@!&@##)()∆%∆§§!
A combination of incomprehensible howls and screeches greet Naohiro in the forest as he was making his way towards his favorite spot.
A group of fly heads suddenly bursts through the trees and went for Naohiro.
"Curses?! What the FUCK are they doing here?"
'Tch! They're just weaklings, while I still can't activate my cursed technique. I can already use my cursed energy and despite not being able to fully use it efficiently, the sheer amount is enough to compensate for my lack of control'
A flaming aura of blue and black color bursts from Naohiro's body, enveloping his whole body with cursed energy.
SPLAT!
As the first fly head reached me, I immediately crushed it by punching it down to ground killing it instantly.
In the next couple seconds.
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
The group of fly heads were quickly taken out with either a punch or a kick for each.
"Why are there suddenly curses here? This place has been peaceful and quiet without curses from the last couple of years that I've been here"
Krrrk Krrk Krrrk Krrrk
A gray skinned humanoid curse shambled out behind a tree. Small bone like protrusions from it's knuckles, it's faceless head twitching and tilting from left and right.
Instead of legs it has arms but uses it as if it was it's legs and it's feet are hands.
"Another curse? Fuck me this isn't what I expected to happen this day! How the FUCK did even curses get here? What is this plot bullshit?!"
A thin line then forms on the faceless curse's head in which a wide mouth suddenly opens with rows upon rows of sharp teeth.
KRRRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!
"Oh shit that's a grade 2"
Naohiro hit the jets as he went for a full-on sprint away from the curse, pumping as much cursed energy his body could take.
'What the shit! What the shit! Why in the FUCK is there a damn grade 2 curse here?
Am I just that unlucky or something?'
Weaving around the trees as he moved to try to get the curse off his back. Naohiro reached a far distance away from where the curse was previously.
Krk Krk Krk Krk
Yet it was not enough.
"Ah fuck me in the ass Gojo"
Naohiro exclaimed as he looked above, seeing the curse hanging upside down on a branch with it's feet-hands while the upper part of the tree was covered in fly heads.
Crack!
The curse tried to crush Naohiro as it jumped down towards him, but Naohiro was just a bit faster. Despite not being able to use his technique yet he was born with a powerful body even without using cursed energy to enhance himself.
With him just being 5 years old he already has the physical stats to match the average grown ass man. But if he uses his massive cursed energy reserves to enhance himself he can reach the level of a semi grade 2 sorcerer.
Naohiro rushed towards the curse before it recovers from it's fall and punched it's head right into the trunk of the tree, cracking the bark of the tree.
He didn't stop and went on to kick the curse's head and stomp on it's body repeatedly. But the curse didn't like no spam moves and grabbed his leg and threw him into a tree.
"GAAHH! FUCK!"
Naohiro felt his strength leave him as his back smashed against a tree by the curse's throw, which left his body twitching and shaking.
He watched as the curse approached with slow footsteps, making constant clicking like sounds from it's mouth. The way it did it made it seem like the curse was laughing at him.
The curse got right up close to his face. Then a long tongue came out of it's maw full of sharp teeth and licked the side of his face.
But Naohiro actually waited for this moment as with a sudden burst of movement he uppercutted the curse in the jaw, forcing it to close it's mouth and bite off it's own tongue.
#+/@!?!?::)(%√∆§§???!!!!
It screeched in pain and reared its head and howls in agony. Naohiro took this opportunity to jump at it's face, grabbed the back of it's head with both arms, then repeatedly smash his knee on the curse's chin while in midair.
As he let go of the curse's head and let himself fall to the ground, he dropped down to the floor and sweeped it's legs off. He immediately then got on top of the curse and started smashing it's head into the dirt.
After getting beat for a couple of seconds the curse went into a berserk state and sucker punched Naohiro in the liver. It's spiky bone protrusions on it's knuckles burying into Naohiro's flesh, piercing his insides.
The curse lunged at him and tackled him into a tree. The curse them punched at Naohiro's head but he ducked and it's fist hit the bark, shattering a small chunk of the tree's trunk.
Before Naohiro could even think of counter attacking the curse was already throwing another punch at him. It was relentless, all he could do was block and dodge the blows of the outraged curse.
Each hit putting holes in his body, each blocked hit scraping the skin off his arms, each dodge that he barely manages to pull off would still leave nicks and cuts on him.
'Damn, I'm getting my ass beat'
TEAR
One of it's punches eventually managed to hit him right at his face, tearing the flesh off the right side of his mouth and cheek. It bled profusely as bits of skin were hanging on the side, his teeth and part of his mouth exposed.
'Is.....Is this where I die? Am I really boutta get offed by a no name curse?'
.....
.....
.....
"NNAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
Naohiro then caught it's punch with his hand, in which the curse's other fist shot out but was also caught by Naohiro's other hand.
The curse struggled to break free but it was of no use as Naohiro's grip was too strong.
"Did you really think you were gonna off me right at the start of my story?"
The curse continued to struggle but it's efforts were futile.
"THIS IS NAOHIRO KAISEN BITCH! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST KILL ME BEFORE MY CULTIVATION REACHED THE PRIMORDIAL HEAVENLY IMMORTAL TRANSCENDENT REALM!?"
The curse forze as suddenly a heavy and dense burst of cursed energy covered Naohiro's body.
"YOU..... ARE COURTING DEATH!"
Clink
It was struck with immense fear as Naohiro's eyes gazed into it's soul. The wounds Naohiro previously had was covered in steam as they rapidly healed.
'I adapted just now, my cursed technique finally awakened. I can feel a chunk of my reserves be used up. Only 3 or 5 more of these and I'm out of juice. Probably because my efficiency and control of cursed energy is still shit and my cursed technique just got awakened. BUT! That's enough to take this fucker down!'
Naohiro then headbutted the curse which disoriented it and left it open to a spartan kick which sent it crashing into a small tree which fell down on top of it.
He slowly walked up to the curse as it shakily stood up. It went right at him and punched him hard on his face.
It continued to punch him repeatedly all over his body but Naohiro didn't move to dodge or block any hit and just let it happen.
Cuts, gashes, punctures, and bruises would form on Naohiro's body but if you look closely. All the damage that he received from each blow would be less than what he previously took.
The curse did it's best to try to end Naohiro quickly but it noticed all the damage that it did was significantly reduced and it felt as if it was trying to punch a boulder.
Clink
Naohiro then weaved through one of it's blows and grabbed the curse's face and smashed it into the ground, raising dirt and leaves in the air as it made a small crater on the dirt.
The wounds he accumulated steamed as it rapidly healed with each adaptation. The curse thrashed around and tried to hit Naohiro multiple times on his face and body.
Yet, it was all useless as it's bone protrusions on it's knuckles can barely even scratch his skin and it's blows can barely even move him now.
He pulled his pants down, while it's no sword or spear yet it's already quite a deadly dagger.
He turned the curse around, making it eat dirt while he raised it's ass to his Zenin dagger.
"This is what you get for ruining my day you FUCK! UGHHH!"
KRREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!~
The moment the Zenin dagger entered the curse's ass, it knew it was figuratively and quite literally fucked.
"Rah! Rah! Rah! Take that! Take that you ugly ass bitch!"
The backshots were raw, intense, clumsy, yet brutal. Yet with every thrust, if one looks closely you can see a miniscule improvement with each thrust. As if the movement was instinctual and familiar with him, like a person who was rusty getting their edge back slowly but surely.
"URGH! RAGH! GAH! AAAAAGHGHHHH!!!"
As his special sauce spurted inside the curse's insides it suddenly stopped thrashing and struggling about. It became weak and just layed on the ground, violently twitching all over it's body.
He then punched it hard on it's head which made it go limp. Naohiro then stood up and raised his foot up.
"Night! night! bitch!"
Splat!
"Gotta get myself some new black airforces"
The curse was finally dead as Naohiro crushed it's head with a stomp.
"Now, how the fuck did this even happen?"
Rustle
"Ughhh, what is it now?"
Stomp Stomp Stomp Stomp
"I'm cooked."
3 grade 1 curses came out of the bushes. They all looked like big dogs with big human skull heads while at the back was a special grade curse. It stood up on it's hind legs, it had a werewolf like look but it's arms were extremely thin yet extremely long and it has three wolf heads with long snouts.
HOWL HOWL HOWL HOWL
"Shit! Shit! Shit! My luck can't be that bad!"
Naohiro screamed and complained as he ran with all his might for survival. Moving between trees trying to get rid of the curses tailing him but they were quickly catching up to him.
BAM
He flew forward in the air as one of the grade 1's rammed it's head on his back, almost snapping his spine.
"Ugh! Damn it! I can't feel my legs!"
As Naohiro landed on the ground he was filled with panic. The hit to his back was too strong that he couldn't even feel his legs anymore as they went numb.
He desperately crawled on the ground just trying all his best to survive even if it was pointless to struggle now. He could barely fight a grade 2 curse now let alone 3 grade 1's and a special grade. He knew that this is the end.
As he reached the clearing, there he saw it. A red swirling mass of negativity floating in the air. The amount of negative emotions coming from it was so much that it made him momentarily forget about his situation.
'What the fuck is that? I-it's so oppressive, it makes me feel like my heart is going to get crushed! This pressure! I-is that a portal or something?'
Naohiro found the source of the reason of why there were so many curses around the place. This red swirling portal was emitting so much negativity and negative emotions that it attracted such strong curses, even a special grade itself.
He quickly tried to get away but before he could even move a muscle a red blast of lightning came out of the portal and hit Naohiro right in the chest which sent him flying.
The portal suddenly disappeared. Now all that's left was Naohiro who was twitching all over the ground as red lightning sparked all around his body before it fizzled out and entered his body.
As he lay there unconscious, the curses reached his location. They searched around for the source of the negativity in the area but they found nothing.
The special grade curse then just decided to forget about it and went to Naohiro's unconscious form. It raised it's long arm, massive claws extending from it's fingers then swung it down as fast as a blur. It decided to end his life as he distracted it from it's goal.
BOOM
A huge amount of dirt flew around from the force of the blow. As the dust cleared, it revealed that Naohiro's body was nowhere to be found.
Spurt
It looked down on it's arm that it used to tear Naohiro into pieces or what should have been the arm, but now all that's left was a bleeding stump.
"Oh, looking for this?"
It quickly turns around and sees 'Naohiro' standing there with an arrogant smirk on his face as he held it's missing arm.
He looked different as red pulsing light highlighted his veins. His veins bulged all around his body as well as a red aura glowed just above his skin.His body also emitted small red sparks of what seems to be lightning all around his body.
HHHOOOOOOOWWWLLLLL
The grade 1's immediately charge towards him. 'Naohiro' smirks and rears back his fist to punch the first curse that reaches him.
But just as his fist was about to hit the curse, it suddenly exploded. 'Naohiro' got thrown back by the force of the explosion and crashed harshly into the ground.
His body terribly burnt, his face was gone, his right arm and both legs got blown to pieces while his left arm only had bones left, the muscles and tissues were burnt off.
Clink
"Hoh, so this brat has Mahoraga's adaptation as his cursed technique! How wonderful haha, this kid could become quite terrifying if left unchecked and realized his full potential"
'Naohiro' stood up all fine with no injuries as if he wasn't just almost completely blown to pieces seconds ago.
"Hmmm, so you can make your grade 1 dog curses from human souls and make them explode kamikaze style anytime you want huh? But since you only have 3 with you, that probably has quite the drawback on it's use. Is that it? Is that all you can do?"
The curse regenerated it's severed arm and commanded another of it's curses to charge at 'Naohiro' who then exploded when it reaches right in front of him.
'Naohiro' only got sent skidding backwards as his feet stayed on the ground from the explosion this time. Both of his arms would be gone, his body would have some burns here and there, and half of his face got burnt off.
Clink
But all that damage was gone in just a couple of moments as his body fully healed with the adaptation.
"Heh, third time's the charm am I right?"
BOOM
Naohiro walks through the smoke of the explosion from the third grade 1 curse that blew up in his face with only some small insignificant burns on his skin.
"I swear I heard that one say aloha akobar or something before it exploded. Anyways is that your best shot? The next one is getting shoved in your ass."
The special grade curse shook before it put both hands together and formed a hand sign.
"D0mAiN £Xp@Ns!0n: H0wL§ oF THe dAmn€D!"
A barrier then envelops them both. The surroundings now look like an abandoned pet cemetery. Behind the special grade curse were hundreds of the dog like curses he had before but much bigger and radiating a volatile and unstable amount of cursed energy.
"Ahh so this is your domain huh? A fucking disappointment. Hah, you know what I'll just end this stupid bullshit right now and give this boy his body back. It's still not time yet"
ZZZZZZZZZZTTTT
SHATTER
In an instant the domain was shattered before the special grade curse could even fire off it's sure-hit.
As the special grade curse was in view. All that would be left of it would be the lower half of it's body that was still standing, the attack so was fast that it never saw it coming and it's upper half was completely obliterated.
The only signs of what may have been the attack was the lingering red lightning sparks all over the surroundings.
"Ahh truly a wonderful time to be in. The world is still quite clean. Sadly that would change in a few years from now but that's alright. Because I am here! To correct the wrongs in this world!"
"Now then, i better talk to that brat and give him some advice."
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Inside a dark barren surrounding of what seems to be a destroyed city. Naohiro woke up confused and looked at his surroundings.
"Where the fuck am I now? Did I reincarnate again? In this wasteland?"
Crumbled buildings all around, flames burnt all around various places, charred and mangled bodies littered the ground, some having their entrails hanging out.
Each bodies that could be seen all looked like they had suffered and died in complete agony. Some show obvious signs of torture like the thousands of bodies that had all of their limbs cut off, guts spilling out, face unrecognizable due to how much damage were done to them, and their intestines wrapped tightly around their necks as they dangled from the traffic lights and billboards that their intestines were tied to.
"Well shit, who could have done all this? Am I next? FUCK!"
"Oh naaahh, what the? What the hell? H-how?"
But the most surprising thing among the carnage and brutalized corpses was the throne. The throne was placed was placed in where most of the bodies were piled up at, numbering in the millions or even more.
But the strangest thing in this pile of bodies was a broken and shattered golden wheel or to be more precise wheels. They pile up together with the countless broken bodies, scattered all around. The throne itself is a combination of bones, flesh, and shattered wheels.
"Hello there brat, do you like the place?"
Suddenly a dark silhouette appeared sitting on the throne. The area close to the figure was mysteriously dark but what he could make out with what he could see is that the figure is muscular, wearing some sort of outfit that looks to be colored yellow, and that he is short.
"Kid, stop checking me out. You're too young for my tastes for me be to freaky to you."
"W-what?! Hell nah bruh I don't swing that way! I like girls! But more importantly who are you?!"
"Heh, we'll see about that in the future but anyways me? That's not important for you to know, atleast not yet. It's still isn't the time yet for that, maybe in a couple more chapters."
"BUT! There is one thing I would like to make clear to you boy. I can take over this body anytime I want but since I'm such a good boy I'll make a deal with you through a binding vow."
'Shit! He can take over my body anytime he wants? He probably already knows everything about me. I never read about this dude in jjk or even in memes like who the fuck is this guy really?'
"F-fine! I'll accept that, I really have no other choice. So what is it then? What kind of deal are we making?"
"Great! You're not braindead and tried to argue with me like a spoiled lil young master. The deal is that I would only be able to use your body for 5 minutes. In exchange you would have to realize your potential and prove to me you're not a bum in a time limit of 20 something years more or less or else."
"Th-that's it? Or else what?"
"Or else you wanna get added into my trash collection?"
The figure gestured with his arm around indicating the countless broken bodies that surrounded them.
Naohiro gulped in fear at the threat no, the promise of what his fate would become if he fails to meet this figure's expectations. But the only thing he could do is suck it up and agree to this deal in fear that if he dared to change the deal. The figure might not be so kind with his next offer.
"I accept!"
"Good! Good! Keep that up if you want to stay alive. Now fuck off!"
The figure instantly appears in front of Naohiro in a flash of red lightning and spartan kicked his soul back into his body.
"AAAAHHHHH! What the? Shit man, what the fuck was even that all about? Was that all real?"
He looked around and realized that he was unconscious while standing up butt naked with the trees and the ground destroyed all around him.
"Yeah, that shit was fucking real. I have to train hard because my life literally depends on it. Sukuna? He ain't shit, that guy is the one who I need to be wary of."
He scratches his ass as he thinks about his life.
"Man, things got so hectic and complicated all of a sudden. Fuck this bruh. I thought shit would be smooth sailing with my wishes haaahhh."
He slaps his ass cheeks for motivation.
"Welp, no time to waste then! I gotta lock tf in and grind this shit! Watch out world! I'm gonna Jujutsu your Kaisen!"
"But first I gotta go back home and get some clothes before I get diddied"