Desolate streets mirror the feeling of helplessness.
An ashy gray blankets the sky, shrouding any hope for sunlight. Stone buildings loom above, shrieks of passing wind echo in their alleyways.
Among the barren roads walks a boy. Aimlessly wandering under the haunting clouds, the child drags his feet across the lonely pavement.
Devoid of sounds. Devoid of people. Devoid of purpose.
Hours pass. The brewing storm remains hung above, still the same shade of nothing.
He saunters along the mountainous city walls. Their colossal size puts into perspective how small he really is.
He's in another world. A likely massive, expansive world full of billions of people and animals. Each one likely has problems, things they wish they could achieve…
The thought makes his own problems feel even more trivial.
Hoary visions of the past assault his tired mind. Melancholic moments of himself as a boy. Lost in a rain-infested city, calling out for his unseen mother.
How old was he? Four? Five? It feels so long ago, the memory is washed in uncertainty. Yet, the feeling from then translates to now. Lost and alone. Not knowing what to do.
If what that man said is true… this memory too will fade.
…
A narrow divergence in the wall stops his drifting. An extensive corridor covered in shadows. He pushes his hesitance to the back of his mind. What else am I going to do?
Quiet footsteps reverberate down the dingy passage. Normally, this kind of alley would invoke fear or unease. Right now, he just wants to reach its end. He doesn't care.
As he steps through the grimy hall, a swarm of childhood impressions remind him of those times. His brother runs by. Him and Canopus playing hide and seek in their old neighborhood. No matter how much time passes, those childish games stick with him.
Or rather, the feelings he had when playing them.
The corridor comes to a fork. To the left, a hefty wooden door. The thick, metal lock tells him it's impassable. To the right, the hall stretches further. At its end is the soft glow of natural light.
He approaches the light; a slim, steel gate stands at its source. Humid air sweeps the narrow passage, carrying the sweet smell of due. The gale's hollowing melody echoes down the hall.
He stops at the foot of the gate. It's flimsy, it could be easily kicked down. There is no handle, so he presses his elbow against the rusty door. It opens grudgingly, clamorously creaking a song.
Another memory steps forth. He's seen a gate like this before. Back in elementary school, him and Canopus would explore the woods behind their house. Deep in the trees was an abandoned gate much like this one.
The brothers always imagined it a portal to another world. Repeatedly, they would pass through the frail bars, hearing its hinges squeal. Why are these memories coming back now? I haven't thought of them in so long…
He steps through the gateway, planting his feet into the checkered grass beyond.
Sprawling plains of grass indicate he's outside of the capital. Auretta seems to rest atop a highly elevated hill. Walking out into the lone greenery, he spots a distant incline wrapping towards what he assumes is the entrance to the city. A handful of carriages ride along the natural ramp. From this distance, they appear as ants. The walls of the city stretch far, far enough that he can't see any other paths.
He stands in a secluded patch of grass. There is nowhere to go from here. The gate has led him to a cliff. A large overhang overlooking the distant fields and mountains. It's strange, there are many large gates in the city leading outside of the walls, surely, they can't all just lead to cliffs. Maybe it's just this gate that leads to one?
On the edge of the cliff rests a massive, draping tree. Its knotted roots hang over the edge. The braided green and white leaves pop out amidst the shrouded sky.
Sirius encroaches the towering tree, its grandeur almost beckoning him. A gentle breeze sweeps by. His feet shuffle in the tall grass. He reaches the zenith of the green slope. Weeping leaves hang over the boy's head.
His eyes stare somberly at the expansive view. What should be wonder, only leaves him feeling smaller.
His mother used to take him to sights such as these. They would ride their bikes for hours over hills, just to reach the view at the top. But those sights were beautiful. Those sights were seen through youthful eyes.
A dull gray envelops the sky. The sun no longer shines on the bleak horizon. Even in a new world, everything seems so dreary.
…
-When did life lose all its color?
…
"Man, that's quite the view."
The boy Sirius thought he abandoned stands beside him. It doesn't quite sink in at first. He has to double-take.
Sirius steps back a little.
"W-When did you get here?"
"Huh? Oh, I've been following you the whole time."
"…Seriously?"
Sirius can't help but pity his own lack of self-awareness.
"Well, not the whole time. I lost you for quite a while, but then I saw you moping around. I didn't want to bother you, so I just trailed you. Dang, that alleyway was creepy. When you opened that gate, the sound almost gave me a heart attack."
Korlin is his usual chipper self.
"Ah… sorry." Sirius doesn't know what to say. He feels ashamed. "Look, sorry for… running off back there. I just got… overwhelmed, I guess."
Korlin lightly punches Sirius on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I get it." His soft smile attempts to calm Sirius. It successfully cracks the shield he's placed around his heart.
Sirius slaps his hands over his face and lets out a groan. He tucks down and sits, only a leg-length away from the cliff's edge. Caught up in his whirling emotions, he tries to maintain his guard.
"I'm so stupid…"
"Maybe a little, but anyone would have reacted that way." Korlin plops down beside Sirius. Both of them stare off towards the faded mountains.
"You didn't."
"True… I don't know, I just… don't feel scared. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet. Maybe I don't even care…"
-Scared? Am I scared of something…?
He reminds himself of Korlin's pitying eyes.
"...Are you not upset with me?"
"Hm? Why would I be?"
"You're out here trying to have fun and enjoy your new life... While I'm stuck sulking, unable to. Aren't I a burden?"
"This again, huh? I told you before, didn't I? We're in this for the long haul, you and me. We're ride or die. No amount of you feeling human emotions will change that."
"..."
"Besides, eventually I'll rub off on you. You'll be itching for adventure in no time."
"...Hm," Sirius suppresses a chuckle. "I'm not so sure about that... I don't tend to change that easily. I can barely interact with others, and when I do... it's never natural."
"Is this not natural to you?"
"I don't know. My mask is slipping..."
...
When he talks like this, his perfect image of himself seems to drift further and further away.
"...You've got some heavy baggage, don't you?"
"...I wouldn't say that. It's nothing I can't handle."
"..."
Both of them sit quietly. The breeze gently brushes against their hair.
It's peaceful. It's like a tiny corner of the world pieced off just for them.
They linger with their thoughts. So much to say, no knowledge of how to say it. Sirius peers up at the tree's branches. Nostalgia sways above him.
"There was a tree like this back in my hometown." Melancholy laces his words. "My… brother and I would always run out through a field to get to it. We would play there for hours, sometimes with other kids too. It was… really fun."
"…"
The dragging wind picks up. Sirius buries his head in his sleeve.
"I… miss the old me."
…
"…Yeah. Me too."
The howling air drowns out Korlin's response.
Suffocating desolation embraces the cold children.
Sirius struggles to say anything further. He chokes on his own thoughts. He doesn't know why, but he wants to tell Korlin… something.
For the first time in his life, he opens the floodgates to his thoughts.
"I… used to be such a happy kid. Carefree, just going by and enjoying life. I hung out with friends every day, I went to sleepovers, birthday parties… And now…" Sirius trails off and buries himself deeper. "What happened to me?"
The ambiance of an incoming storm both soothes and shivers.
"…I get it." Sirius, his head still stuffed in his arms, turns his attention to Korlin. "When I was a kid, my friends and I would ride our bikes until sunset, going to stores and messing around, laughing the whole time…" The boy sucks in a weak breath. "…I lost all my friends. I closed myself in and I… never tried again. My only friend was my sister, but that was… kind of sad." He lets out a feeble chuckle. They both do. "I only did stuff I wanted to do, and yet… none of it made me happy."
The haunting shrill of nature nestles their ears. The silence among them isn't awkward, it's peaceful. Comforting.
Hearing the boy's story, the looming question reenters Sirius' mind. Seeking validation, maybe confirmation, he asks it.
"Do you… want to keep your memories?"
…
Korlin thinks about it a moment. "…I don't know. Do you?"
"I… don't know either. It'd be nice to keep the happy stuff, but at the same time… all it causes me is regret. It reminds me of how much of an idiot I am."
"Nostalgia is a hell of a drug."
"Yeah… do you… want to remember your sister?"
The question strikes Korlin, catching him off guard. He seems shocked.
"Well… yeah, but… Heh, she was the only person who seemed to care for me. The only person I cared for. That made me happy, I was grateful, but… it still made me feel lonely. Maybe she was just pitying me."
Sirius' heart sinks.
He remembers the pity he felt in those eyes. The pity he hates so much. But right now, it doesn't matter. He doesn't feel that hatred. In fact, he can feel their bond growing closer.
And that scares him.
Korlin's throat swallows harshly. His hands begin to shake. "And what happened at the end… I don't want to remember that."
Korlin is on the verge of tears.
…
"What… happened at the end?"
"…"
Sirius is reminded of the instant Korlin burst from the ground. He shouted someone's name…
Zora.
They sit together in blissful silence, watching the tree blow in passing wind.
For some reason, the thought of Korlin's sister brings up memories of his mother.
"I-" Sirius chokes up. He fakes a cough in his arm to play it off. He rapidly blinks to sell the act more. "Sorry."
Korlin smiles somberly. A warm tear trickles down his cheek.
"It's okay to cry, you know."
Sirius is taken aback. It is the same words his mother told him after his dog passed.
"I'm not going to cry. I would never cry in front of someone. I don't want to be pitied. Besides, I only cry for other people…" He coughs a final time, masking his lie. "I wouldn't cry over myself like that."
"…You're an interesting man, Sirius."
"That so?"
"I think we are more alike than I thought."