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Definitely Not a Paradise

CustardPudding777
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - How to Join the Main Character’s Group

7 years ago, I found out that I have borderline personality disorder. 

" Miss, we require you to take these medications to control your mood swings." 

I remember those medications tasted disgusting, however, they were accommodating and I was able to relax more. Currently, I am hiking on a mountain called Jack Simmons. No historical person is named Jack Simmons, so I wonder why this mountain is called Jack Simmons. 

"Beep!" 

What was that noise just now? 

" Attention everyone, monsters, ghosts, and zombies are coming out of nowhere. Please be aware of your surroundings, we will have the military try to rescue you guys. So, please stay alive." 

Monsters!? That is when I saw a lady-like figure with long black hair covering her face, wearing a white gown with blood on it, and holding a bloody ax. 

" Hey, lady. If you don't want to die, get out of my way." 

I said while taking out my kitchen knife. 

" Did you not just hear your announcement?" 

That is when I saw the empty eye socket of the lady and her really pale face smiling. 

" I want to make you into a sashimi now!" 

I'm bluffing, of course, I don't even know how to make sashimi.

 " I used to be human too you know." the lady said. 

" Even better! Humans taste the best." 

I mean, at this point I should try eating humans since the government would probably be too busy to know that I committed crimes and I need some meat to survive. " Well, it's not like you can defeat me." 

the lady said while making a wide grin. 

" Hey, I learned all this random spiritual stuff, including how to defeat one. Therefore, I can also defeat you." 

I hate reading books but I do like reading things on the internet, especially things that will help me survive in this world. 

" Then try?" 

The lady said while trying to provoke me.

" Abida hwoueve la, amisa dabida, haba~ Daba!" 

Of course that did not even work, I'm not some super spiritual person so I probably said some wrong things in the spell. 

" Hahaha! You thought you could defeat me? A mere human? Not a chance! It's time for you to become my food!" 

Here goes me dying at a young age, I haven't even reached my 30s. 

" Stop there, you evil ghost, let me put you into an eternal rest."

Who the heck is this brown-haired man? Where did they come from? And it's not just this man, he even has 3 other teammates who have black cloaks on them. This seems like I am in a fantasy story, like the ones on the internet.

" Holy cow! I'm in a fantasy story! Oh, my holy god! I can get holy water!"

" Ahhh, stop saying holy!!!" 

The ghost lady screamed in pain. Ooh, pain. This is so funny! The lady who threatened me is now lying on the ground screaming in pain. Of course, I act like a scared person on the outside, for else, who knows if we people will execute me for being crazy. 

" Are you okay?" 

A red-haired lady with blue eyes asked. Now, this girl seemed like the typical female lead in a fantasy story. I wanna see what this story is. 

" Yes, I am okay. I was really surprised, that's all." 

" Do you want to join our group?"

" Yes!"

Oh my gosh! I get to see what the female lead will do! My eyes are sparkling with happiness.

" Don't act too rashly. For else, it might put the whole group in trouble" 

A dark black-haired man with gray eyes said with a face that thinks I'm hiding something that will kill everyone. I mean, I don't have anything that will threaten everyone and I don't think my sashimi knife counts as some super dangerous weapon. But, this black-haired man looks like some male lead or main character of this story.

" Hello, I'm James Simmon and I'm the leader. The lady next to me is Adida Letzenburg"

The brown-haired man said. The lady next to him has dark green hair with red eyes. She looks like the villainess of a fantasy story. Hmm, I should ask the leader if he thinks sashimi knives are dangerous.

" Hey, is my knife super dangerous?"

" No, I think it will be a great tool to help with making fine cuisines"

" Do you know what sashimi is?" 

" No? What is it?"

Oh my god, this person doesn't know what sashimi is. How could he? I mean this is a fantasy story now so I guess no one knows what sashimi is. But, isn't this still the modern world? Does it mean that the modern world and this fantasy world merged or something? 

" Excuse me, what are everyone's roles in this group?"

" I'm James Simmon, the wise leader!"

No one here looks wise.

" I'm Adida Letzenburg, the sharpshooter and archer."

Wow, you sound cool!

" I'm Elina Zervoksv, the healer."

Of course, the female leader is a soft-hearted healer.

" I'm Jack Simmons, the knight."

Typical male lead role in a fantasy story.

" I'm Sira Quiline, and I will just be the cook and guide since I know a lot about plants, animals, climates, and dangers."

" Are you good at cooking?"

Hey, leader, my cooking is great, stop doubting it.

" Yeah, I know how to make something poisonous into edible food." 

" But, your dishes are great right?"

Stop doubting me!

" Yes, you can count on me!"

It seemed like everyone still doubted my cooking skills.

" So where are we going, leader?"

" First, put your knife away, then I will answer your question."

" But, this is my precious knife!" I whined while making a crying face.

I only feel safe in this world because I am holding this knife.

" Just have the cook hold her knife so that we have one less person to protect"

I mean, I guess I can fight? But… I don't know how to fight monsters that I have never encountered before. 

" Do you guys have experience fighting monsters?"

" Yes, our country has been fighting Igra's for more than a thousand years."

" Then, do you think another world merged into this world?"

" What? I don't think that ever happened."

So they don't know that the world merged or the reasons. But, they may be lying to me.

" There's a monster up ahead. Everyone hides in the trees." The leader commanded us to hide in the trees.