Sometimes I would wonder if I was moving on really fast but then I realized that three months is enough break. Just kidding I realized that love has no right or wrong timing if you get the opportunity to love then you love. Even if the person isn't right or the circumstances aren't right, you just love with all your heart. Doesn't matter if you get your heart broken again and again because that's life, isn't it? You don't get what you want when you really want it, but just when you're on the brink of giving up that's when you find it. And that's when you realize that the wait was really worth it.
M was never sober and I would go pick him from the bar and drop him at his house. It didn't matter if I had reached home or not, if it was him then I could cross mountains if he really needed me. Whenever he was drunk he would keep on saying how cute and beautiful I looked and that he really loved me. I asked him to propose to me when he was sober and then I will believe him. He would tell me that he couldn't get the confidence to tell me when he was sober. I don't know why but I would find him insanely cute when he was drunk. He would pout and do all stuffs. By that time I had quit drinking for good and it was hard at first but it soon became a habit.
Once the karaoke owner didn't come to work because of a fight she had with her husband so it was only the three of us. We wanted to leave early so we closed the karaoke at 2 and left. M texted me that he was at a club and that club had a reputation of having slutty girls. I got mad and asked him why but he said that his friends forced him into going. I just yelled at him saying that if his friends told him to jump off the bridge, would he do it? I told him that I was going home. He kept on asking where I was so I told him I was at the 24/7 convenience store and the guy came there. He was with a friend and I kept on ignoring him. His friend left after a while and I talked with him. T and R waited for us while we were talking. I tried to understand his reason for drinking and the guy started tearing up.
I took him to a side and told him that it was okay to cry. He didn't and pretended to be strong. I couldn't force him too so I just hugged him and told him that if he ever wanted a shoulder to cry on then I'm always here. He nodded and we left. He tried to stop drinking but not completely and I allowed him one can a day. Everything was going well when one day I sent a snap of him. My friend S's sister saw it and she was a regular customer of his bar too so she asked if it was M. I said yes and then she asked if we were dating and that don't tell him that she was asking about him. I got suspicious so I told her no and asked why she was asking. She didn't tell me at first but after a lot of pressuring she finally spilled it.
She told me that M and her friend were dating and that her friend was a little toxic but it was okay for me to hangout with M as friends. If anything happens then she would take my side and she told me that both of them are flirtatious; her friend flirts with other guys and M keeps on denying that they're dating and lives in his own world. She asked me if I liked him and I obviously said no. I didn't know what to do because it felt like all my past traumas were resurfacing again. I told T about that and she told me to confront him. I did and he straight up denied and told me that the girl kept on telling everyone that they're dating even when they're not. She flirts with everyone and her character isn't good. I said okay and didn't text him for a long time. I was heartbroken and it was clear on my face. T and the karaoke owner comforted me saying that there are many other guys. I tried cheering up but it felt really heavy inside.
He kept texting me and I didn't want to ignore him so I replied in short texts. He asked me if I wanted to talk things out and I said that there's nothing to talk about when the issue is solved. He told me to be mad at him but he just didn't want the cold shoulder anymore. I didn't say anything much and went back to working. He came at around 12 and tried to talk with me but I kept on ignoring him until I finally broke down. He kept comforting me saying sorry and in frustration I hit him a few times and even bit his wrist. He didn't mind it and kept bearing it.
We made up and everything was back to normal again. I would go at his place and he would cuddle me and we made out before bed. He wanted to take things to the next level but I didn't agree saying that I needed some time. I thought he would force me but he didn't and respected my wishes. But I did give him the permission for some under the shirt action. My birthday was reaching near and he asked me what I would like as a present. I told him that I was not a gift girl and I didn't want anything at all. He kept pestering me about it but I still rejected it.