I found out how he and his friend were talking about that popular girl and how she offered to sleep with him. And I also found him flexing that he had two girlfriends and he was going to keep me and leave the other girl. I cried a lot that day. But I still slept beside him because honestly there was not much space to sleep anywhere and I was really hoping that everything was a lie. I woke up the next morning and he tried to hug me but I pushed his hands away. I couldn't let go of the feeling of betrayal. I confronted him and let's just say that my overthinking got the best of me. I kept giving him silent treatment and tried to act cool at first.
But after few hours when we really tried to talk, I hit him. I repeatedly hit him and I didn't even try to control my anger so it was pretty messy. I told him that we could break up if he wanted someone else. He was mad about that and tried leaving but I stopped him. Even though I suggested it I still couldn't let go of him. We were back to normal after that talk. After a few days he left for his hometown and he stayed there for almost two weeks. I missed him alot and it felt really empty without him. I would sniff the blankets because it still had his scent. I got drunk few times and whenever I was drunk he was the first person that would come in my mind. I would call him even if he was sleeping. I don't remember what I said to him because I would be too drunk.
He would keep on saying that he would come tomorrow but his tomorrow never ended but I would still be excited whenever he mentioned about coming back. Once he told me that he would come back by tomorrow and it was sure. My hope was diminishing by that point but I still expectantly waited for him. The next day I had just finished cleaning the karaoke and took a bath afterwards when I got his text saying that he couldn't come again. I got really mad at him and replied rudely to his texts. I was frustrated and didn't text him anymore. That's when he asked to open the door, I did and there he was. Smiling cutely. I closed the door as soon as I opened it because I was in my bra. He pulled it open and I quickly went to grab my shirt.
We cuddled and I was over the moon that he was back. We cuddled for a while before he left for his bar.
I didn't want to let go of him but I didn't want to seem clingy so I let him go. I wanted to quit my job badly. I really wanted to do that. The mood was getting a little too much for me to handle. The karaoke owner had frequent fights with her husband and was in a bad mood most days. I didn't really mind that because everyone had those days so I tried understanding her. The thing that I really didn't like was how they spoke in their native language. I wasn't able to understand them so most days it would be them conversing while I started blankly at my phone. I felt left out but I couldn't complain about it because if they were comfortable talking in their mother tongue then who was I to interfere. I was upset most days because the three of them would go to roam and I really wanted to join them too but there was no one to look after the karaoke so I would just stay back saying I wasn't interested.
Once they did invite me to go saying that R could stay back to look after the karaoke but the damage was already done plus the three of them were close with each other so I didn't want to ruin the vibe. I let them go and stayed back again. I felt really left out but when they told me their side of the story I felt really guilty. They once candidly told me that I left them for my boyfriend and now T was doing the same thing to them. T had a boyfriend who was toxic and 11 years older than her. The girl was just 19. The two of them tried to stop her but she would still go with him. I tried cheering them up but stopped when I noticed how they would always say that they missed T. I know they have a really close bond but I felt really bad. I felt like I was not even deserving of a replacement title. So I totally gave up on them.
I put up with them alot so I felt like I deserved something better too. I didn't talk with them that much and made some jokes from time to time. I focused on myself and stopped making myself easily available to anyone. I did what wanted and that shit got me in a big trouble.