Ryan sighed as he pushed open the door to his room. It had been a long day at work and he was looking forward to relaxing that evening. He was still thinking about Luna, the dark-haired beauty he had met after one of his gigs. Seeing him again at his workplace made him behave boldly again. It wasn't like he reached out and touched the face of everyone who ordered the "Ryan Special"… only him.
As Ryan threw his book bag on his bed, he sighed as he thought about the origin of the Ryan Special.
One of the events that the café owner Clement had held in the past had been one where everyone dressed up in maid outfits. Thankfully Clement had allowed Ryan to dress as a butler, however in exchange for being able to choose his outfit, Clement had added to the menu a special set called the "Ryan Special", which was only served by Ryan. The set had been so popular that day that even after the event, people who had tried it kept coming back to order the same set and so it became a permanent menu item.
As Ryan sat on the edge of his bed and pulled off his socks, his phone started ringing. The name that flashed on the screen was none other than his project partner from university….Luna.
Ryan sucked in his breath sharply. He didn't know how he had gotten himself into this mess, however, he knew that no matter what, he had to keep himself together and continue to play the role that was given to him.
Ryan picked up and tried his best to make his voice sound more feminine.
"Rachel! You will not believe the luck we have. I just so happened to stumble across this adorable little café, which holds events, and they have agreed to host your art exhibition!" Luna said over the phone excitedly.
"Hmm, where is this café?" Ryan replied, covering his mouth. He had just come back from his workplace. When he left, Luna had still been there, working diligently on his laptop. There was only one café he could be referring to….did this mean he already went ahead and talked to Clement? No…this was the worst-case scenario possible…
"It's the Café Clement downtown. I'll send you the address later. I worked out the details with the café owner, and he told me his rates. With the Venue price in check, we can move forward with the business plan! Isn't that great news, Rachel?" Luna said excitedly.
Rachel. Every time Ryan heard Luna say that name, it felt like a stab in the heart. It reminded him that he had to be "Rachel" right now. But he didn't want to be "Rachel" to Luna… he wanted to be "Ryan"…
"I umm-" Ryan started but Luna cut him off.
"Hey sorry I gotta go, my cousin is suddenly calling me. Don't worry about the details, I'm working on everything. You just focus on your art collection for the exhibition, and I'll take care of the rest. See you at school on Tuesday!" Luna said and the line went dead.
Ryan sat there shell shocked. What the hell was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to turn up at his own exhibition, as a man, and a woman…at the same time?
Ryan quickly dialled his only friend and confident in the world and sat nervously waiting for her to pick up.
"Hello? Ryan umm, I don't have time to talk, I'm getting fitted for dinner tonight. Is this urgent? Cause we can talk later, we'll be seeing each other in two hours" Anna replied.
"Anna, Luna wanted to host the exhibition at Café Clement. I am dead" Ryan blurted out.
Anna was silent on the other side of the line. Then a rich laughter rang out.
"I'll hire a body double! No worries" Anna replied.
"Of who? Rachel or Ryan?" Ryan asked panicked.
"Well, that depends on who you want to be that night. Hey, look, it'll be ok. We'll figure it out when the time comes. For now, for the sake of your parents, you're gonna need to call Elizabeth in, the outfit I sent to your house for tonight has a corset and she'll need to help you into it –" Anna started but Ryan cut in.
"I hate this! I hate living like this Anna. I hate all of this" Ryan said tearfully.
"I know, I know. But your parents have made it very difficult in the past…borderline abusive…about you being a guy. Look, we got this ok? You play the role of devoted daughter up until you graduate, and then we, together, get you that top surgery you have been saving up for, ok? And get you out of that toxic household. We'll move to the city, and live crazy queer lives. Don't let all these hours of working at the café and DJ-ing part-time go to waste because you fell for some cute boy…you gotta man up Ryan, cause…you are a man, right?" Anna chided.
Ryan took in a deep breath. Yes, he was a man. Just because he was born a girl, didn't mean shit. He knew who he was.
"Right, sorry. That's why I called you. I feel like I'm living in some kind of pantomime, pretending to be a girl in school just to appease my parents. I just want to live as freely as I feel when I'm at work or DJing. I just want….I just wish I could reach out and touch Luna as a man… all the time…" Ryan sighed.
"Hey! Focus! University crushes come and go, but your life is yours and yours alone. We will find a body double, and Luna will be none the wiser. If you two are really meant to be, then you'll meet again at the right time. For now, outside of school, I think you should avoid him at all costs. He's gonna blow your cover.
Besides, I don't want to burst your bubble, but most gay guys don't date trans men." Anna added.
Ryan felt a stab in the heart. He doubled over and clenched his fist so hard the nails stabbed the palm of his hand.
"I mean I'm just saaaayyying~ Most. I don't know about Luna, but, like, be realistic, don't get your hopes up too high, he might not be into you as much as you are into him. An-" Anna continued to ramble.
"Ok ok stop enough I get it" Ryan said, wiping away a tear.
"H-hey…are you crying? Sorry, I think I said too much. Ma-"
"Look umm, I should call in Elizabeth as you said and get ready" Ryan replied curtly.
"Look I'm sorry! I'm just being honest. Look don't be mad, I care about you, I don't want you to be hurt, again" Anna added, concerned.
Ryan bit his lip. She wasn't wrong, but, when Ryan thought of those crystal blue eyes and that tossed brown hair….he wanted to believe, in the impossible again.
Ryan shook his head and straightened himself up.
"Yeah no you're right Anna, I should just keep my head focused on the grind, play the part, and avoid him at all costs. My heart is too easily distracted by crushes" Ryan replied, trying to convince Anna and himself that he had his emotions under control.
"Well, thanks for calling. Now get into that lacy ballgown I had custom-made for you and get ready for the Lovewin Galla Ball! I'll see you at a quarter to 8, bye!" Anna replied and hung up.
Ryan groaned and fell back on the bed. He then brought the phone up to his face and texted one of the twelve housekeepers who worked tirelessly to maintain the Lovewin Household.
"Elizabeth, Anna said she passed you tonight's outfit?"
Elizabeth replied simply " On my way" and within a few minutes, there was a knock on the door, and in came Elizabeth with two other housekeepers, all holding long lacy peony pink parts of clothes in their arms.
"Madam, Miss Anna even made you a new lacy mask for tonight's activities, what do you think of it?" Elizabeth beamed, showcasing the beautifully embroidered lace mask.
Ryan got up from the bed and walked over to meet them. He reached out and took the mask, admiring the attention to detail as pearls were sewn into the lining in a beautiful crown.
"It's probably the only part of this outfit that I like, thank you Elizabeth"
As the doors closed behind the housekeeper called Sara, all three of them beamed at Ryan.
"Sir, we know that the Master and Mistress insist on us calling you Madam, but always know that we see you for who you are" Elizabeth said, which drew tears from Ryan's eyes.
"Stop it~! You don't have to say that every time you put a gown on me" Ryan said bashfully.
"Well it makes it easier for us to attack when you are vulnerable" the housekeeper called Violet said.
"Huh?" Ryan said and before he knew what was happening, he had been wrestled into a flouncy pretty lacy dress and was forced to sit and have his hair braided while another put make-up on him.
"Sir you look so cute~! Like a Prince of a mysterious land," Housekeeper Elizabeth beamed after they were done with him.
"Give us a twirl!" Housekeeper Sarah beamed and clapped her hands together.
Ryan nervously stood up from the dressing table. The gown this evening was an empire cut gown with thick gold bands around the upper forearm that had lacy sleeves that fell down his arms in ripples, giving the illusion of sleeves but they were so sheer and had an iridescent look to them they kind of looked like wings. The dress itself was two layers that fell away from his body, and although the main body of the dress was peony pink, as he moved, he realised all the lace sewn on top of the dress was also the same iridescent material as the sleeves, which made the overall gown shimmer and shine as if he wasn't just wearing cloth, but a thin layer of starlight.
Ryan took a hesitant spin, and as he did, the gown fanned around him beautifully, and even he had to admit that Anna had once again outdone herself with tonight's dress.
All three housekeepers gasped, their eyes as big as saucers. It didn't take much to see that the three of them were part of the Ryan Fanclub, and although they had been instructed by Ryan's parents to enforce the gender-specific female terms on Ryan, in private, they went out of their way to make Ryan know how much they accepted him and his pronouns.
"Master Ryan, in the ten years I have worked here, you have never looked as handsome as you are tonight. Like a prince in royal garb, I hope one day you will meet the princess of your dreams" Housekeeper Violet swooned.
Ryan laughed "Prince, I know I am a prince, but I am looking for a prince as well" Ryan beamed.
All three housekeepers squealed in delight.
"Then make sure to hire us in your new kingdom!" Housekeeper Sarah exclaimed.
"Me too!" Housekeeper Elizabeth said and raised her hand.
"Me three!" Housekeeper Violet added, raising her hand as well.
"Ahhh, of course, ~! I'm gonna steal you three away for sure! You guys have been more family to me than my real family" Ryan replied, feeling so touched. It's so crazy that although they had all watched him grow up as a kid, they still treated him with so much care and concern. He hoped to be able to do the same for them for as long as he could.
Housekeeper Elizabeth picked up the mask from where Ryan had left it on the table and handed it to him with a sad smile on her face.
"Until then, we will always be rooting for you," Elizabeth said, patting Ryan on the shoulder.
Ryan nodded and put on the mask. Just like that, the handsome prince in peony robes disappeared, and Princess Rachel of Lovewin reappeared. With a last glance at the mirror, Ryan took in the face of a girl with blond hair cascading down around her face in ringlets and sighed. It was time to play the part.
Anna turned up at the house at a quarter to 7, and as always the two of them took a walk through the Lovewin garden, complimenting each other's outfits and catching up with each other's gossip of the day. The Lovewins threw a Gala or a Banquet almost every other day, inviting all their investors and prospects to dine with them at their massive mansion, so Ryan was used to the drill. He and Anna always found ways to try to turn up as late to the dance portion of the ball as possible and tried to hide away for most of the dinner to avoid the advances of these business people or their children, as it was more than common to be forced on someone's kid, to butter up their parent for business reasons. A lot of people fantasized about the idea of marrying into the Lovewin family, and now with Ryan's three older sisters and two brothers either married or engaged, Ryan was seeing red flags in his near future. He didn't know how much longer he had before his parents started pushing marriage proposals his way, however he hope to keep avoiding them until he could graduate and get away from them.
As Ryan and Anna finished their first round around the Lovewin garden and were re-entering the main ballroom hall through one of the sliding doors that looked out into the garden, a shrill voice rang out across the hall.
"Oh, Rachel! Good timing. Come, I would like to introduce you" Ryan's mother called out.
Rachel and Anna looked at each other and groaned, but there was no way out of it. They had been spotted. To run away wasn't a thing they could do now that they were 20.
Ryan and Anna reluctantly walked across the bathroom. Anna plastered on a huge smile on her face while Ryan tried not to let his grimace show on his eyebrows. Thankful for the mask, Ryan didn't have to grin and bear it like Anna did.
As the two of them approached the small crowd of folks standing near the entrance of the ballroom, Ryan heard his father say " Well it is such an honour to finally meet you. I understand that you are studying business, well there are a lot of opportunities for you to make some great connections"
Ryan's mother, upon seeing Ryan reach them, grabbed Ryan by the wrist and pulled him right through the crown, to stand further in front to see who they were talking to.
A pair of stiff-lipped well-dressed aristocrats again. Behind them stood two men who were fidgeting in their tight-coloured suits and looked very much like how Rayn felt inside – that they did not wish to be here.
"Ryan, do meet the Lukhorns. They have graced us today with their nephew for the first time! Please say hello to Lunaftha Lukhorn" Ryan's mother said.
It was at that moment that it felt like time stood still. All the colour drained from bother Anna and Ryan's faces.
Standing there in a navy blue suit that didn't quite fit him, was Luna, who was looking at his tie nervously, as if it was the first time he had put one on and was nervous if he had done it right.
"Luna! Have some manners! Sorry the boy was not trained in etiquette, his parents died in a car crash you know? It's so tragic" Mrs Lukhorn said as she reached over and pushed her nephew forward towards Ryan.
Luna looked up at Ryan, and their eyes met.
Luna's eyes went wide, and then he smiled "Rachel!" he said and it seemed like he immediately relaxed, recognising to him what was a school mate.
On the other hand, Ryan felt every muscle in his body tense up.
Could this night get any worse?