"Why, We're Just Alike!"
If you squint your eyes and look up carefully at a flight of birds,
you'll see finches flying with finches, swallows soaring with swallows, and yellow birds winging it with yellow birds. The avian
apartheid escalates. You'll never see a barn swallow with a bank
swallow, or even a yellow bird hanging out with a yellow finch.
Somebody said it shorter: Birds of a feather flock together.
Happily, humans are smarter than birds. In one respect, at
least: we have brains capable of overcoming bias. Really smart
human beings work together, play together, and break bread
together. Does that mean their comfort level is high? Well, that
depends on the human being. Our purpose here is not to examine the absurdity of apartheid. It is to leave no stone unturned in
making sure people are completely comfortable doing business or
pleasure with you.
It has been proven beyond a doubt, people are most receptive to those they feel have the same values in life. In one study,
05 (171-198B) part five 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 171
Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
individuals were first given a personality and beliefs test.20 They
were then paired off with a partner and told to go spend time
together. Before meeting, half the couples were told they were very
similar in beliefs to their partner. The other half were told they
were dissimilar. Neither statement was true.
However, when quizzed afterward on how much they liked
each other, partners who believed they were similar liked each
other a lot more than the couples who thought themselves to be
dissimilar, demonstrating we have a predisposition toward people
we believe are just like us. We are most comfortable giving our
business and friendship to those we feel share our values and
beliefs in life. To that end I offer six techniques to create sensations of similarity with everyone you wish.
Along with making more profound rapport with customers,
friends, and associates, using the following techniques develops a
deeper understanding and empathy with people of all races and
backgrounds. It also opens doors that might otherwise be closed
to you.