Just like the finch flaps its wings faster than the gliding eagle, people of different backgrounds move differently. For example, Westerners used to the wide-open plains stand farther from each other.
Easterners, systematically sardined into subways and crowded
busses, stand closer. Asian Americans make modest movements.
Italian Americans make massive ones.
At teatime, the finishing-school set genuflects and gracefully
lowers derrieres onto the sofa. When the ladies reach for a cup,
they hold the saucer in one hand and the cup in the other, pinkie
ever so slightly extended. Folks who never finished any manners
school make a fanny dive in the middle of the sofa and clutch the
cup with both hands.
Is one right? Is the other wrong? No. However, top communicators know when doing business with a derriere-dipping pinkie
extender or a fanny-plopping, two-fisted mug grabber, they darn
well should do the same. People feel comfortable around people
who move just like they do.
I have a friend who travels the country giving an outrageous
seminar called "How to Marry the Rich." Genie was once in a Las
Vegas casino when a television reporter asked if she could tell the
real rich from the great pretenders.
173
How to Make Them
Feel You're of the
Same "Class"
✰44
05 (171-198B) part five 8/14/03 9:18 AM Page 173
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"Of course," Genie answered.
"All right," challenged the reporter. "Who is the wealthiest
man in this room?" Convened at the next table were three men in
tailored suits (Hayward of Mayfair, London, no doubt), handmade shirts (Charvet of Place Vendôme in Paris, no doubt), and
sipping scotch (single-malt Laphroaig from the Scottish island of
Islay, no doubt). The reporter, naturally, assumed Genie would
choose one of these likely candidates.
Instead, with the scrutiny of a hunting dog, Genie's eyes
scanned the room. Like a trained basset hound, she instinctively
pointed a long red fingernail at a fellow in torn jeans at a corner
table. She murmured, "He's very rich."
Flabbergasted, the reporter asked Genie, "How can you tell?"
"He moves like old money," she said. "You see," Genie went
on to explain, "there's moving like old money. There's moving like
new money. And there's moving like no money." Genie could tell
the unlikely chap in the corner was obviously sitting on big assets
and all because of the way he moved.
174 How to Talk to Anyone
Technique #44
Be a Copyclass
Watch people. Look at the way they move. Small
movements? Big movements? Fast? Slow? Jerky? Fluid?
Old? Young? Classy? Trashy?
Pretend the person you are talking to is your dance
instructor. Is he a jazzy mover? Is she a balletic mover?
Watch his or her body, then imitate the style of
movement. That makes your conversation partner
subliminally real comfy with you.
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They're Buying You, Too
If you're in sales, copy not only your customer's class but the class
of your product as well. I live in a section of New York City called
Soho, which is a few blocks above the famous-for-being-trashy
Canal Street. Often, clutching my purse tightly and dodging the
crowds on Canal Street, I'll pass a pickpocket-turned-salesmanfor-the-day. He furtively looks around and flashes a greasy handkerchief at me with a piece of jewelry on it. "Psst, wanna buy a
gold chain?" His nervous thief 's demeanor alone could get him
arrested.
Now, about sixty blocks uptown, you'll find the fashionable
and very expensive Tiffany's jewelry store. Occasionally, clutching
my fantasies of being able to afford something therein, I stroll
through the huge gilt doors. Imagine one of the impeccably
dressed sales professionals behind the beveled glass counters
furtively looking around and saying to me, "Psst, wanna buy a
diamond?"
No sale!
Match your personality to your product. Selling handmade
suits? A little decorum please. Selling jeans? A little cool, please.
Selling sweat suits? A little sporty, please. And so on for whatever
you're selling. Remember, you are your customers' buying experience. Therefore you are part of the product they're buying