Worried about your first words? Fear not, because 80
percent of your listener's impression has nothing to do
with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at
first is fine. No matter how prosaic the text, an
empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate
delivery make you sound exciting
"Anything, Except Liverwurst!"
Back to Dottie waiting for her sandwich at her desk. Sometimes
as I walked out the door scratching my head wondering what to
bring her, she'd call after me, "Anything, except liverwurst, that
is." Thanks, Dottie, that's a little bit of help.
Here's my "anything, except liverwurst" on small talk. Anything you say is fine as long as it is not complaining, rude, or
54 How to Talk to Anyone
Technique #11
Prosaic with Passion
Worried about your first words? Fear not, because 80
percent of your listener's impression has nothing to do
with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at
first is fine. No matter how prosaic the text, an
empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate
delivery make you sound exciting.
02 (043-92B) part two 8/14/03 9:17 AM Page 54
unpleasant. If the first words out of your mouth are a complaint—
BLAM—people label you a complainer. Why? Because that complaint is your new acquaintance's 100 percent sampling of you so
far. You could be the happiest Pollyanna ever, but how will they
know? If your first comment is a complaint, you're a griper. If your
first words are rude, you're a creep. If your first words are unpleasant, you're a stinker. Open and shut.
Other than these downers, anything goes. Ask them where
they're from, how they know the host of the party, where they
bought the lovely suit they're wearing—or hundreds of etceteras.
The trick is to ask your prosaic question with passion to get the
other person talking.
Still feel a bit shaky on making the approach to strangers? Let's
take a quick detour on our road to meaningful communicating.
I'll give you three quickie techniques to meet people at parties—
then nine more to make small talk not so smal