Jude and Stella were making googly eyes at each other. Whispering and sniggering. Touching and kissing. It was repulsive.
I caught Jude's arm move towards her lap and Stella gasped, blushing so furiously it was almost comical if it wasn't so disgusting that my brother was probably finger fucking his girlfriend in front of me.
"Hey, Rick." I leaned towards him while he was quietly eating his food. "Want a blowjob?"
Jude whipped his head to face us. Rick practically fell off his chair trying to get away from me.
"Hey, I'm just here for the free food, man," he said defensively.
I smirked, sliding my hand on his thigh. "I reckon you taste better."
He glared at me, a hint of arousal darkening his eyes. "Quit that before he actually kills me." He pointed at my hand. "Off. Now."
I rolled my eyes, folding my arms across my chest. "I'd like to leave now."
"We haven't even had dessert yet," Jude said.
"Yeah, I ain't having what you're having," I muttered, sparing Stella a glance. "No offense, sweetheart."
Her face reddened even more. Jude cleared his throat, casting me an almighty glare.
"We'll leave together then," he said, getting to his feet. "Rick, could you drive Angel? I have to drive Stella."
Rick passed me a wary glance. "Sure."
"And keep your hands to yourselves," he said in parting while glaring at the both of us.
We headed out of the restaurant and waited for the valet to bring up their cars. Jude got his first and they drove off, leaving Rick and I.
"You're crazy," he suddenly as we watched Jude's departing car.
I looked at him, smirking. "But I ain't no liar. Offer's on the table if you want it."
He narrowed his gaze at me. "Don't play with me."
"I already promised you I wouldn't though."
He took a step to close the distance between us and I shifted to face him. We stood toe to toe, so close we shared every breath. His hands were in his pockets and my arms were firmly crossed over my chest, and yet it felt like he was all over me and I him.
This insatiable and almost debilitating desire we shared for each other only strengthened my resolve to be rid of him. Tonight would be the last time I broke for him.
I was owed one last taste, wasn't I?
"Have dinner with me," he said suddenly.
I arched a brow. "We just had dinner."
"You know..." he murmured, slipping one hand out of his pocket and bringing it around my back to hold me closer. "… what I mean."
I inhaled deeply, pulling in his scent into my lungs and rendering me fucking ravenous for more. Dammit.
"No," I answered after a beat.
"So you'd get into bed with me but you won't share a meal with me?"
"We've already shared a meal."
"And you already know I mean more than that."
"You can't mean more than this to me."
His eyes dimmed, the obvious arousal replaced by disappointment.
"Why can't I?"
I smiled. "Sweetheart, I do stupid shit all the time, but I'd never be as foolish as my brother."
He pulled me closer, invading what little space left between us. He lowered his head, bringing his face a breadths inch from mine and just barely stopping to keep our lips apart.
"What's stupid is you acting like this means nothing when we both know it does."
"You're delusional," I spat back.
"And you're a coward."
He released me and turned to face front just as the valet arrived with his car. He opened the passenger door and arched an expectant brow when I didn't move. I grudgingly got in the car.
He slid into the driver's seat, pausing as he was about to insert the key in the ignition and glancing at me.
"Put your seatbelt on."
I scoffed. "Just drive."
"We can sit here all night, I won't drive until you put your seatbelt on."
I looked at him in disbelief. "You're fucking kidding me."
"The number of times someone was sent to the ER because they weren't wearing their seatbelt is not a joke."
"Then you better drive seriously."
He gave me an unimpressed look. "Stop being so difficult and put your seatbelt on."
"Fuck this. I'll get a fucking cab," I said, shoving the door open.
"Go then. Run away like you always do."
"Will you stop?" I snapped, letting out a harsh breath. "Just… stop. Please."
I yanked the seatbelt on and he wordlessly started the car. We didn't speak throughout the drive and when we arrived at my building, I quickly got out.
"Angel, wait!" he called after me.
I sighed, turning to face him. "What now?"
He pulled out a small box from his jacket and held it out for me. I looked at the damn thing as if it would attack me.
"What the hell is that?"
He shrugged. "A graduation gift."
I scoffed. "It's not necessary."
"Just stop being a bitch for a sec and take it."
"Excuse me?"
He slapped the damn box on my palm.
"Open it."
I huffed out a breath and relented, ripping the box open. For a moment, I just stared at the content inside it.
It was a charm bracelet, the moon and stars hanging by the gold chain. And I remembered the night I had dragged him to New York. Remembered my drunken rant about the moon and shit.
What part of stay the fuck away from me does he not understand?
I glanced at him as he watched me expectantly, waiting for my reaction. But I just looked at him, wondering what the hell was wrong with him.
When I didn't say anything, he just sighed and took the bracelet out of the box, carefully clasping it around my wrist. He brushed his thumb over the moon before looking at me. Looking at me in that way that was starting to scare me.
He smiled. A smile that reached his eyes and I swallowed hard, struggling to comprehend why he was doing this to me. To himself.
"The moon's beauty is filled with mystery, isn't it?" he murmured.
He's too good for you.
I knew that. I've accepted it. I was well aware of it. That's why it pissed me off so much.
I leaned closer to him till our faces were inches apart, my body practically shaking with rage. "Stop fucking with my head, Rick," I bit out sharply. "It's not fucking funny."
I yanked the bracelet off my wrist and threw it on the ground before hightailing away from him and heading inside the building.
I was fuming. Itching to hit something. Preferably that blue eyed schmuck who probably thought it was fun to mess with my already fucked up head.
What the fuck did he want from me? Did he want to have a good fuck or something? Throwing gifts at me weren't needed for that. He could just call me up and I'd spread my legs for him. That's what everyone expected out of me anyways.
I entered the elevator and the doors were about to close when he appeared, dragging me out and holding me captive in his arm. Before I got to blink or cuss him out, his lips were on mine, a hand snaking around the back of my head, fisting at my hair as he kissed me with aggression I'd never felt from him before.
I was too taken aback to do anything but just stand there until he pulled away five long goddamn seconds later.
He let out a harsh breath, staggering back and leaning against the wall opposite me while I stood there, staring at him. Struggling to shut off everything inside me.
"God, Angel," he panted, his head tilted back and his eyes screwed shut. "You make me want you so fucking badly and I hate it. I hate wanting you but I can't get you out of me. It's driving me crazy," he hissed through gritted teeth.
I blinked, finally catching myself as his words registered at the back of my mind. He leveled his head, our eyes locking. His eyes pierced mine, the blazing in them setting off a burst of fire inside me. A mix of anger and lust. Intense and consuming. Frightening.
This wasn't just attraction or infatuation. It wasn't like the adoration and genuine affection that Jude and Stella shared either. This went beyond that. Beyond anything I knew or had experienced.
It was so ferocious, this feeling, and I couldn't handle it. I tried to shut it down. Tried to make it go away like I've been doing all night but it wouldn't anymore. Not with his eyes on me. Eyes that were becoming my greatest fear.
He straightened, making a move towards me but I took a step back, shaking my head.
"You don't want me. You don't want this. Not this. Not me. It's wrong."
His brows furrowed as his eyes tried to get through me, tried to push their way inside.
"Tell me you don't want me then and I'll back off," he said and looking at him, he meant it.
I opened my mouth to say it but nothing came out.
I don't want him. I don't. I shouldn't. I couldn't. It wasn't right. I just had to say it out loud.
Too bad I couldn't find my tongue.
I curled my hands into fists, the anger just consuming me, begging to be let out as I looked at him, my lust for this man vying for attention. It was intense. I never let myself feel any sort of emotion towards someone I fucked for the sake of it. But I didn't fuck Rick for the sake of it. I did it because I wanted to. I wanted him.
Allowing myself to want him was the worst decision I ever made because wanting him meant feeling something. I refuse to feel anything.
His foot moved forward and I pressed myself against the elevator doors, the fear coming back and he caught it. I hated how he could easily see through me.
"Why are you so scared?" he asked, his voice gentle.
I closed my eyes, wanting so badly to run away as I hit my fist against elevator button repeatedly but when he closed the distance between us, I couldn't move a muscle.
"Look at me, baby. Open your eyes," he whispered softly. "I won't hurt you. I would never do that."
Slowly, I opened my eyes, finding myself captured by his gaze. He touched my face and all the chaos in my head seized but still, the fear grew. I've never felt fear like this before.
"Tell me you don't feel this." He pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes boring into me and daring me to lie. "Tell me I'm stupid and I'm just imagining it. Tell me this is nothing so I can let it go."
I gritted my teeth, my chest twisting. "Stay away from me," I said, my voice trembling.
The elevator pinged and the doors slid open, offering me an escape. I ran for the hills.
******
As I entered the apartment, a loud bang erupted and I jumped, reaching for the knife tucked inside my jacket.
"Surprise!"
I whirled around, holding out the knife, ready to cut open the motherfucker. My best friend stood on the couch, holding a bottle of champagne in one hand and two glasses in the other.
"What the fuck, Dee?" I lowered my arm, letting out a harsh breath. "You scared the shit out of me."
She giggled, hopping off the couch and coming over to me, handing me a glass.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were still in LA."
She shrugged. "I heard there was a party."
I rolled my eyes, downing the glass of champagne and taking the bottle from her. I took large swigs and by the time I had enough, I had emptied half of the bottle.
"The hell, babe. That's a four thousand dollar bottle, at least pace it," she muttered, taking it away.
I sighed, going to the couch and dropping myself on it.
"Come here. I missed your pussy."
She grinned, skipping towards me while stripping off her thong. I laid on my back while she settled on top of me, straddling my head. I slid my tongue over her pierced clit before pursing my lips and sucking hard the way she liked.
She started writhing, squeezing her own tits while moaning loudly. I rubbed my fingers over slit before opening her up for my tongue, licking her fervently in a desperate attempt to fill my mouth with a taste that was not Rick. Touching her everywhere to rid my hands of any remnant of him. Making her scream and beg for more so I could drown out the lingering sound of his voice.
I needed him gone. Out of me. Forgotten. Yet he remained an ever so persistent presence that drove me fucking crazy.
* * *
Andrea and I fucked each other so many times for hours on end, I was sure I sprained my wrists and jaw. We only stopped when Jude came home and threatened to throw boiling water at us if we didn't get out of his sight.
After grabbing pre-game shots at Mikey's, we headed to the club where the party for the graduates was being held. I was on the phone, waiting for Bo to pick up the damn call. He finally answered after three tries.
"Hello? Angel?"
"I'm outside."
"What? I can't hear you!"
"I'm outside!" I yelled, passing the line that went around the building.
"Got it!"
Bo busted out of the front door clumsily just as we reached the front of the line. His bald head had various signatures written on it with bright red lipstick.
He immediately spotted me and grinned. "You look like a fucking wet dream!" He paused when he caught sight of Andrea. "Andrea, my rock star goddess! You're a walking orgasm!"
She giggled. "Someone's on a sugar rush."
He winked. "Let's get this party started," he said, turning to face one of the bouncers. "Angel Lastor and Andrea Allen. Scratch their names off the list."
We followed Bo inside, pushing through the crowd as he made his way to the stage. The place was jam-packed with high and drunken graduates. We even passed a guy who was still wearing his gown and had nothing but a cherry red G-string underneath.
When we reached the stage, Bo said something to me but I couldn't hear him through the music, then he jumped up and almost landed face first on the stage.
He took the microphone from the stand and signaled the DJ to cut the music off. The crowd immediately groaned and started booing.
"Alright, alright. Shut the fuck up! I have a bit of an announcement to make." He paused, looking at everyone with a grave expression on his face before screaming, "THE TOXIC TWINS HAVE ARRIVED!"
Everyone cheered. Andrea and I looked at each other and laughed, waving at the crowd. The DJ played the music back as Bo jumped off the stage.
"Here, a bit of a graduation gift I thought you'd like!" He yelled in my ear and held my hand tight before letting it go.
I looked at the small packet of white powder in my palm and grinned up at him. "You're the best!"
He put a finger against his lips and disappeared into the crowd. Andrea and I went to the bathroom, kicking out a couple who were making out in one of the stalls.
I took out a bill from my purse and rolled it, spreading the white powder on top of the toilet tank and sitting on the seat while making six lines in rows of threes.
I glanced at Andrea who took a swig from a bottle of vodka she had somehow gotten her hands on before leaning in to take the lines, snorting them in quick successions. I shivered as a chill went up my spine and rubbed my finger against my nose, grinning as I felt the kick instantly. I handed the bill to Andrea and she snorted a line.
"Fuck. That's good shit," Andrea whispered before finishing the rest of the lines.
I got up, accepting the bottle she was holding out to me and taking a large swig. She straightened and stuck her tongue out, placing two blotters of LSD on her tongue before placing two on mine. I kissed her and she grinned against my lips before kissing me back, our tongues twining together as the drug dissolved. When we pulled away, her dilated eyes were wide and adrenaline was cursing through my veins.
We bolted out of the rest room and headed for the bar, calling out for a line of shots and to keep them coming.
Everything became a blur of shots and sweaty bodies grinding against mine. By the time I came crashing down from my high, I was pressed up against a wall. Being fucked from behind.
"You're so hot," I heard him mutter before slapping my ass.
I turned my head for a fraction to see who it was but the man took it as an invitation to kiss me, our teeth colliding against each other as he pulled me to him. The bitter taste of alcohol and cigarettes in his tongue filled my mouth.
I pulled at his hair, yanking his head back to look at him, trying to remember his face. He had dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. His body felt deliciously solid against mine and his lazy grin was worthy of a pretty picture.
Then it hit me. He was that guy from the restaurant. The younger brother. I remembered now, he approached me and bought us shots while we were sitting at the bar.
He was.... Jason? No, that didn't sound right. Mason? Jackson? Tyson?
He picked up his pace, his skin smacking against mine.
Jason/Mason/Jackson/Tyson grabbed a fistful of my hair, forcing my head back while my forehead hit the wall as he got more and more brutal. I gritted my teeth and pushed against him, clenching my walls to seem like I had reached my climax, triggering the douche's too and he held me still as he emptied himself into the condom.
Breathless, he staggered back. I closed my eyes and waited for him to pull out, wincing as he did. I grabbed a wad of tissues and wiped myself clean before pushing my dress down. When I walked out the stall, I found Andrea sitting on the sink, making out with a guy I faintly remembered played for Princeton's basketball team.
I checked my phone, cursing when I saw the time along with a barrage of missed calls and texts from Jude.
"Wait, can I get your number?" Jason/Mason/Jackson/Tyson asked as he hurriedly pulled his pants up.
"No thanks."
I grabbed Andrea and dragged her out of there. Once we were outside, I waved a taxi but then, a limo rolled up in front of us. When the window slid down, I froze.
"Tony!" Andrea squealed. "Hi!"
"Hello, Alexandrea," Father replied cordially before glancing at me. "Get in."
I swallowed hard and looked at Andrea. "I'll meet you back at the apartment."
She frowned. "What?"
"Go," I said, pushing her towards the cab that stopped at the curb.
She glanced at the limo and then back at me before getting in the cab. I let out a breath and with stiff fingers, I opened the door of the limo and slid inside.
The car started moving and I consciously took in deep breaths. It was dark and I could only make out Father's shadow as he sat on the other side but his presence alone was like a heavy weight on my chest.
"You made quite a scene today," he murmured, his voice quiet. "The photographs are already circulating. Once again, you're on the front page."
I pursed my lips, remembering the stunt I pulled during the ceremony.
"I wasn't thinking. It was stupid. I'm sorry."
He sighed, reaching for my leg and I lifted it. His fingers brushed against the bandaged wrapped around the injury on my calf, my entire body taught with anxiety and inexplicable pain from his gentle touch.
"First, you damage my property," he murmured softly, his hand wrapping tightly around my calf. I gritted my teeth to hold back a sound. "Then, you shame me without regard. It seems the only thing you can actually achieve is disgrace me. Are you proud?"
I felt his eyes on me but I kept my head down. "No, Sir."
He scoffed and shoved my leg away before throwing an envelope on my lap.
"Read it."
I opened it and in the faint light, I read it. It was a deed of sale, with the only thing missing being the signature of the person Father wanted own.
I pursed my lips, curling my fingers around the papers.
"I've arranged a meeting," he said. "You know what to do."
"I can't," I whispered. "Please. Not again."
He slapped me and I gritted my teeth as the blow stung my cheek.
"You're mistaken if you think this is a request, bastard."
I was drunk. Exhausted. Sore. Angry and scared shitless. I was not in the state to deal with this shit.
"You can hurt me all you want. Kill me even. I won't do it," I said through a trembling voice.
Even in the darkness, I saw his fury. Felt it deep in my bones.
When his fist struck my ear, I crumpled to the floor of the car and simply laid there while he stomped me all over while cursing me. And then he started choking me with one hand while he beat me with the other.
I didn't scream. I didn't move. I just closed my eyes and prayed to hell and back he'd finally kill me.