Aside from the few dishes on the sink and a couple of dirty laundry that could be done in a matter of minutes, his place was spotless. There weren't even any trash in the bin or dust on his windows.
"What am I supposed to clean here?"
He shrugged. "My clothes need folding."
I eyed him suspiciously as he went to his room, carrying a pillow, fresh linens, and a blanket along with a set of clothes when he came back. The realization dawned on me and I felt like a complete idiot.
"I know what you're doing," I said as he set up the couch.
"What am I doing exactly?"
I sighed, rubbing a palm down my face. "Look, babe, I appreciate you getting me out and all but I don't need this. I'm fine on my own."
"Then why did you call me?"
I curled my hands into fists, pursing my lips. "I didn't have a choice."
"You did," he said, folding his arms across his chest. "You could have called anyone. Why me?"
I clenched my jaw in annoyance. "Because my lawyer has a stick up his ass and would've never let me out unless he knew I would survive through the night, and you happened to be the closest thing to salvation around."
He arched a brow. "You're lying through your teeth, gorgeous."
"I don't lie," I hissed.
"Whatever you say." He shrugged, heading for the bedroom. "The bathroom is down the hall and the washing machine is in there. There's some left over lasagna in the fridge if you're hungry, just heat it up."
I closed my eyes, letting out a harsh breath. "When I was holding that phone in my hand, I realized that other than my brother, I don't have anyone." I opened my eyes, seeing him looking at me. "I know a lot of people. I got friends everywhere. But when it comes down to it, none of them are actually willing to stay for the bad stuff. They'll either run for the hills or turn a blind eye. And it sucked. Realizing that I was alone because I pushed away the only person who was willing to put up with all my shit." I looked away. "But if you want me to tell you why I called you, I can't because I honestly don't know. I guess... I guess I was hoping you weren't like everyone else."
He sighed, approaching me. When he tried to hold me, I backed away.
"Don't fucking pity me."
"Comfort is different from pity, Angel," he said, reaching for me again. This time, I let him.
He held me and I sighed, tentatively wrapping my arms around his waist. It seemed weird, standing in the middle of some strange guy's apartment and embracing said guy for no reason at all. But it didn't feel weird. It felt... comforting. I couldn't remember the last time I felt genuine comfort. It was like the chaos inside me rested and the heaviness in my chest was lifted and I could breathe again.
"You were really brave tonight," he suddenly said. "Stupid, but still, you get credit for effort."
I slapped his back but he merely chuckled. "Why are you so good to me?" I found myself asking.
"Because I have a feeling that not many people are good to you."
"Most people are scared of me."
"I'm not most people."
I looked up at him, trying to read through him but all I saw was his sincerity. He wasn't doing this to get something in return, not one thing about him had a hint of malice. It was... odd.
He suddenly cleared his throat, backing away. "Come get me if your leg is bothering you, or you need anything."
My lips twitched. "Goodnight, sweetheart."
He nodded and turned on his heel, marching his way to the bedroom. He looked back at me as he was closing the door and I saluted him. He pursed his lips, nodding again before closing the door.
* * * *
It was two in the morning and I couldn't sleep still.
The injuries I'd sustained were making themselves known, wracking me with festering pain that only worsened as the hour grew late. The painkillers I'd been prescribed were nothing short of placebo to me.
I rarely slept without shooting up on heroin and I wouldn't hesitate to admit that I've become dependent to it. The perks were too great to dismiss and the risk of death hasn't been a threat to me in a long time. I've been using for so long that death was just a mere cautionary tale.
I caught movement from the corner of my eye and felt a gaze on me. I sighed, flicking my cigarette off the railing.
"Couldn't sleep?" I asked, turning to look at Rick hiding in the shadows.
He pushed the sliding door open and stepped out. "I was going to get some water."
I smiled lightly. "You're a worse liar than I am."
He chuckled, coming to sit beside me on the bench. "I was worried you left."
"Leaving people has become a necessity as much as a habit of mine. You shouldn't be surprised that I'd disappear one of these days."
"You're still here though."
"For now." I shifted, putting my legs over his thighs and leaning my head against his shoulder. "Do you think it's worth it?"
"What is?"
"Living," I murmured. "It's so exhausting."
I felt him touch my cheek and I tilted my head, seeing him staring at me.
"It's worth it," he said firmly. "You just have to see the good things in life."
"The pleasure of having someone worship my body and having a drug course through my veins are the only good things in my life. Sadly, both are fleeting moments."
"Sex and drugs," he muttered, shaking his head. "There's more to life than that."
"Maybe, but those are the only things that make me feel better these days."
"Can I ask you something?"
I shrugged. "It's 2AM. You can ask me anything."
He sighed, brushing his fingers over my bandaged leg. "I've heard so many stories about you, you know. That you were wild. Always causing trouble wherever you were. Constantly the focus of a scandal. But now that I've met you, I don't believe any of it. You're not wild, irresponsible maybe. You don't always cause trouble, only when you're provoked. I don't think you enjoy having people prying into your life either. You're just… a really sad person who's been incredibly misunderstood." He looked at me, confusion in his eyes. "Why are you so sad, Angel?"
"No one's ever asked me that before." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck as I rested my cheek on his shoulder. "And I'm afraid I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because it would be unfair to share my sadness with you."
"You mean you're scared of showing your heart to someone."
"What if I'm showing it to you already?" He tilted his head, looking at me. "Do you see it?" I whispered. "My heart?"
His eyes bore into mine, they were intense, his eyes. It was as if he could see everything. Every broken piece. Every ounce of pain. Every drop of hate. It was almost terrifying, to have someone see the things that made up my wretched existence.
I lowered my eyes, growing uncomfortable, but he placed his hand on my cheek, tilting my head for a fraction. For a long fleeting moment, we just stared at each other. Our breathing blowing back and forth. Growing heavier and hotter by each exhale. When he leaned in, I held him back.
"You know I'm bad for you, right?" I said.
"And I'm good for you," was his extremely stupid reply.
I shook my head, looking up at him, knowing he was right. He was good. Too good for me.
"I'm selfish," I said. "I'll take everything good in you and I won't care."
"It's fine. I have some to spare."
I managed to laugh. "You're such a fucking idiot," I said before closing the space between us.
Our lips met, colliding, crashing. I was aggressive, he was gentle. I took, he gave. I was restless, he was patient. Everything about me was wrong, but he felt so fucking right. Nothing about us made sense but it didn't matter. At that moment, everything was perfect and I wanted to keep it that way.
He held either side of my head, pushing his fingers through my hair. I straddled him and was about to strip my shirt off when he stilled my hands.
"Wait, wait," he said, breathing heavily. "I just want you to know I didn't bring you here for this and we don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. I'll stop if you tell me, just say the word."
"I know that, dumbass."
"Oh. Okay. Just checking."
I chuckled, grabbing his jaw and kissing him again. I shifted, rolling my hips. He groaned, biting my lip and I whimpered when he thrust himself against me, grinding against him in a desperate attempt to create friction.
His fingers tore through my hair, yanking at it and forcing my head to tilt back as he pressed hot kisses on my neck. I bit my lip, taking his hand and guiding it between my legs, aching to feel him touch me there. He had been so good at it before, fucking me with his fingers.
He bit me as he shoved his hand into my underwear, pressing his fingers against my clit. I groaned, gripping his wrist when he pushed his fingers into me. Driving them in and out. Back and forth. Deeper and deeper. Driving me fucking crazy. When I felt the familiar sensation of my climax nearing, I held onto him but the piece of shit pulled his fingers out of me.
"Dammit. What now?"
"Hold on," he bit out and got to his feet.
I wrapped my legs around him as he strode to his room, kicking the door close behind him and settling me on the bed. He knelt astride me, stripping off the clothes he had lent me and practically fucking me with his eyes as I laid naked in front of him.
"You are just so..." he trailed off, biting his lip as he raked his eyes over me. "Stunning."
I smirked. "You've seen it all before, you know."
He shook his head. "Still."
He pulled his shirt off him, offering a sight to behold as his chest heaved with deep breaths while his sweatpants hung loosely on his hips. With a careless tug, they were off. I let out a harsh breath. Even in the darkness, with just the moonlight to guide my eyes, he looked so fucking perfect.
"Come here," I whispered, my voice hush.
He crawled on top of me, giving my shoulder a chaste kiss and moving towards my collar bone. His lips traveled downwards, brushing his lips against my skin from my hip up to the side of my breast and I flinched involuntarily as he traced a scar on my abdomen with his tongue.
"Don't do that."
I grabbed him by the hair and pushed him off me, laying him on his back as I sat astride him, desperate for control.
"Condom."
"Bedside table. First drawer."
I reached over the bedside table, pulling at the first drawer and taking out a foil packet. I met his eyes and tore the packet open with my teeth, smirking as he gazed up at me, his eyes darkening with lust.
I slowly slid the rubber along his length, keeping my eyes on him as I did so and reveling at the feel of him trembling at my touch. I quickly maneuvered his shaft at my center and slowly slid him into me, my jaw slacking as I relished in every inch of him.
I pressed my hands flat on his chest and started moving, keeping my eyes fixed on his. He grabbed my hips and thrust himself fully into me. I cursed under my breath when he drew back, so achingly slow.
Too bad I don't do slow.
I shifted myself, my back facing him, and hoisted myself up, slamming down on him. We cursed. I did it again. Up and down. Hard and fast. Painful and so fucking good.
I leaned forward, grinding against him as my hands curled into fists around the bed sheets. He sat up and slid a hand between my legs, his thumb rubbing my clit. I cursed, closing my eyes as I dropped my head back, resting against shoulder. He put an arm around me and pulled me closer to him with my legs spreading farther apart. I rolled my hips fervently, wanting to feel more of him inside me, taking all of him in.
I had almost forgotten how good it felt to have him and I cried in pleasure as he circled his hips while I grinded against him. He grabbed my head and took my mouth in his, and I put my arms around him, afraid that I would lose my bearings.
He fisted at my hair and I stretched my arms to reach his back, dragging my nails against his skin. The sound of our skin smacking together becoming an erotic symphony as we fucked as if the fire inside us would burn out if we stopped. I didn't know where he or I began. All I knew was that we were one. At least physically.
His lips strayed from mine, his tongue sliding down my throat as I tilted my head back, my hips bucking wantonly against him as he bit into my shoulder, desperately aching for release.
I was panting. He was breathless. Sweat leaking out of our heated bodies. Each kiss becoming frantic. Every thrust becoming desperate. Our holds on each other tight, almost painful.
I pushed for more, faster and harder. He kissed me harder and pressed his fingers against my clit as they formed circles. I cried out loud enough that the entire building might have heard, crying as my climax took over me, my entire body shaking as the intensity broke through whatever control I had left.
Rick stopped moving his hips and flipped me on my back, my head dangling over the edge of the bed. He entered me again, his thrusts hurried and his body stiffening with need for release. I was panting, barely able to keep up with his pace but I urged him on, moaning and muttering his name under my breath while calling out to a God I didn't even believe in.
I felt myself inch closer to another orgasm and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling myself up and straddling him as I chased after it. When he bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, I came apart once again, my back arching and my breathing coming out in short and trembling gasps. A low growl escaped his throat, holding me against him and his nails digging into me as he came with me. I could feel a bit of sting from it and knew he'd torn skin but I didn't care. It felt too good to care.
He pressed his lips against my chest, between the valley of my breasts, slowly trailing his way up to my shoulders and neck before meeting my lips in a deep kiss. I was still trembling, shivers bursting from all over my body, and I gripped fistfuls of his hair, trying to steady myself as I kissed him back, not letting either one of us to have the time to breathe, but it didn't matter. I didn't need air. I needed this.
Slowly, we crashed from our high and he laid both of us down, lifting me so he could pull out of me. We finally broke the kiss and I gasped for air as if it was the first time I'd ever breathed and all I could think about was how fucking amazing that was. To fuck someone I genuinely wanted to fuck. Not because he was just there. Not because I was bored. Not because he seemed good enough to fuck. I wanted this man and no matter how wrong it was for me to want someone as good as Frederick Richardson, I didn't care. I wasn't going to keep him anyways.
I shifted and laid on his extended arm, our chests moving simultaneously as we tried to get our breaths back, the discharge of our collective sexual tension slowly subsiding.
I felt his eyes on me and I looked up to see him staring at me.
"What?"
He sighed, his eyes dropping low and raking over my bare torso. I stilled for a moment, waiting for what he was going to do next and then he lifted a hand, splaying his palm over my abdomen. Touching my scars.
I caught his wrist, holding it in a vice grip, digging my nails into his skin to prevent him from inspecting any further. His gaze snapped to mine, an array of questions waiting for answers filling his eyes.
"What happened?" he asked softly, his hand coming up to cup my cheek with a gentle touch.
I bit my lip, putting my guard up by instinct. He seemed to catch my reluctance and he brought his face closer to mine, his eyes roaming around my features as he brushed my hair with a tender touch and I wanted so much to push him away.
"What happened?" he repeated.
I shook my head, hating the way he was looking at me, as if I was some injured animal.
"I'm going to hurt you. You know that, don't you?"
He frowned, his eyes searching for an explanation. "Why do you keep saying that?"
"Because that's what I do, Rick."
I turned away from him, laying on my side. I was warning him off. I rarely did that. In fact, I never did that. But I was offering him an escape because I didn't want him to think I was manipulating him. That he was one of my toys. He wasn't. He deserved better. Even though I barely knew him, I knew he was a good person and as fucked up as I was, I never messed with good people.
I felt him shift, draping an arm over me as he nuzzled his nose in my hair, inhaling softly. I stilled. What the hell?
I tried pushing him off me but he just pulled me against him.
"Stop moving," he grumbled, tightening his arms around me.
"The fuck are you doing?" I hissed as I turned to face him.
He yawned and opened one eye, smiling sheepishly. "I'm resting," he mumbled softly, stealing a quick kiss on my lips that had me looking at him in utter horror.
"The fuck?"
I tried to push him off me again but all he did was groan and hold me tighter. He started kissing my neck, awaking my libido that he had more than just sated.
"Jesus Christ," I whispered. "We need another body in here. I'll end up back in the ER trying to keep up with you."
He chuckled and cupped my face with his hand, planting a chaste kiss on my lips before deepening it. He rolled on top of me and reality slipped away from us once more.
* * *
"Don't stop. Fuck. Just like that," I hissed.
"Like that?" he bit out, slamming into me. Hard.
I gasped. "Fuck yes."
He did it again. And again. Harder and harder.
Fuck yes.
I fisted my hands against the sheets and cried out in ecstasy, biting my lip as my climaxed slammed into me. Hard.
He still kept on going, riding my orgasm until he had his fix. With a curse, he thrust into me for one last time before stilling, gripping my hips as he reached his peak, his cock jerking as he came into the rubber that prevented us from making more mistakes and another rush surged through me, joining him in his own release.
Holy shit.
Breathless, he collapsed on top of me while my body melted as the aftershocks of my release waved through me. He shifted and I moaned pathetically at the feel of his semi erect cock moving against my sensitive walls.
"Don't fucking move."
"I'm crushing you."
"Give me a sec," I whispered, too spent to put more strength in my voice.
Seconds turned into minutes while I gathered my bearings after this man just fucked me out of it. I could feel him growing inside me and I tensed. I could not go for another. Not yet.
"Seriously? Already?"
He grimaced, his muscles straining as he tried not to move.
"Relax. You're tightening," he bit out, his voice gruff. "I need to pull out."
I shifted. We both cursed.
Slowly, I moved my hips, a jolt of pleasure coming unbidden and instead of withdrawing him, I moved into him.
"What the hell are you doing?" he hissed through gritted teeth, his face buried against the pillow.
"Grab a condom."
"What?"
"Do it."
"You can barely move."
"And you're hard," I hissed, making a point of pushing against him.
We cursed again.
"Do it now. Make it fast."
With a groan, he swiftly pulled himself up and out. I gasped.
Shit. This is too good.
He yanked off the rubber and tossed it in the bin before reaching over the bedside table, fumbling for a condom and quickly slipping it on. He looked down at me, stroking himself while raking his eyes over my body.
"How's your leg?"
It was aching like a rabid bitch.
"Fine," I lied, barely able to form words at the overwhelming need to have him inside me. Again and again.
He settled himself at my entrance and with a swift thrust, he was inside me.
"Fuck," he grunted as he pressed further, hitting something, quite possibly my cervix. "Damn, you feel so good."
"Mhm..." I hummed, biting my lip.
He started circling his hips, his cock buried so deep inside me, reaching for that mythical spot.
"Fuck. Do that again," I urged, my voice barely above a whisper.
He did it again. My mouth fell open.
"So good," I moaned.
A grin played on his lips. "That's why you should fuck a doctor," he gloated, emphasizing it with a short, quick, circular thrust that went beyond me.
I moaned again. "You got a degree on pussies or something?"
A low chuckle rumbled within his chest as he shook his head.
"My roommate back in Heidelberg does." He paused, gifting me with a sweet slow thrust that had my eyes screwing shut. "He had a ton of books about it lying around all the damn time. We didn't own a TV so I spent my free time reading," he went on, drawing back until his tip lingered at my entrance.
I whimpered. "God, you're such a nerd."
He slammed into me and I gasped, pain and pleasure mixing together.
"You're a double degree in Princeton. You're a bigger nerd than I am."
"Nah. I'm just arrogant, is all."
He chuckled. "At least you're honest about it."
"I ain't no damn liar."
I watched him through hooded lids as he rubbed his tip along my slit. I bit my lip, wanting to curse out. He gripped his cock, sending me a wicked smirk before he began flicking the tip of his cock against my clit. My mouth fell open once more as everything inside me clenched at having my sensitive nub beaten with a goddamn cock.
"Rick..." I whimpered, the pleasure shaking me.
He answered with a low growl that sent goose bumps all over my skin and with no preamble, he thrust into me. I all but held onto him for dear life, my nails digging into his skin as my back bowed, my legs clinging onto the back of his thighs.
"Goddamn. You're gonna suck the life out of me, gorgeous."
I didn't manage to make a quick remark. My wit vanished as he began thrusting into me, an arm around my leg as he leaned over me, shadowing me with his body while he gripped the headboard with his free hand.
His thrusts were swift. Not hard. Not desperate. Calculated. Perfect. Hitting every goddamn spot a cock should inside a cunt. Our eyes met, locked in each other's intense gaze. I reached for his neck, my throat running dry, aching to taste him. He lowered himself and I showed him how a lady kissed while he fucked me like a goddamn gentleman.
Each stroke of his cock was emphasized with a grunt, a bite, and the headboard hitting the wall. I raked my nails along his back before digging them into the flesh of his ass. He groaned and I swallowed it down my throat as I shoved my tongue into his mouth, seeking his and greedily taking in his taste as he indulged me with his tongue.
I was craving for him. I've already had him. I was currently having him. But I still craved for more and at each thrust, it sent me into a great hunger that no drug could fill and no drink could quench.
Soon enough, his swift strokes became hard. Fast. Desperate. I matched his urgency, pushing against him, my wetness paving his way into my cunt.
I could feel my insides clenching, trembling, aching for release and I chased it. Chased it how I would chase the dragon. Chased it how I would take a shot. My climax sent me into a whirl spin of a sweet motherfucking high that no drug had ever given me. Just this man and his goddamn cock.
I cried out his name as every fiber of my being trembled, this man becoming my undoing and I let it be. I let go. Breathlessly taking in what he had to offer as he gave me every drop of what he got. As the high crashed, I became faintly aware that he was staring down at me, his heavy breathing fanning my face as he pressed his forehead against mine.
He was looking at me in that way again. I quickly grabbed a hold of my locks, closing the door and shutting him out before he could take anything. Before he could get in.
He closed his eyes before shifting and lying at my side. We were both panting and covered in each other's sweat. I could already feel the soreness that awaited me tomorrow- wait, I'm graduating tomorrow.
"Fuck."
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he asked, his voice concerned.
"I'm graduating tomorrow."
"I know."
I sighed. "I'm in sixth place."
He frowned. "What's wrong with that? You're graduating from Princeton with two degrees and latin honors. That's an achievement no one can take away from you."
I scoffed, shaking my head. "It's not enough. I'm Angel Lastor. People expect more from me."
"You shouldn't let other people's expectations be your end game, Angel. That's not fair to you."
I shook my head again, not meeting his eyes. "My parents are coming and my father's pissed. Jude is graduating at the top of his class and I come sixth in mine. It's a disgrace."
"Hey..." He turned my head to face him. "You shouldn't compare yourself to your brother. That's not right. And either way, you worked hard and did your best. Any parent would be proud of that."
"That's the thing," I said, laughing humorlessly. "My father isn't just any parent. He's Anthony Lastor." I looked up at him. "He doesn't accept anything besides absolute perfection."
He sighed. "Perfection is unattainable, Angel."
"You've met him, haven't you?" I said. "Tell me, did you find any flaw in him?"
He pursed his lips, unable to give me an answer. There was none.
"He's the epitome of perfection. How can I accept the title of his heir if I can't achieve the same flawless disposition?"
He brushed my hair off my face and I caught sight of a purple lock.
"Oh god, I still have purple hair," I muttered in horror. "Goddammit. The press will feast on me if they see me looking like a white trash clown."
"You don't look like a white trash clown, Angel."
"I do. Look at me!"
"I am looking at you and I don't see anything wrong."
I snorted, a mocking laugh escaping my throat. "That's just bullshit. A pretty face doesn't make up for all the fucked up shit that comes along with me."
He sighed, a hand cupping my cheek. I stilled as I met his eyes. "You're more than just a pretty face, Angel," he murmured, every bit of him showing his sincerity.
"I'm nothing."
"That's not true. Don't say that."
I took his hand off my face, turning away from him. "You don't get it.'
He sighed, sliding an arm around my waist and pulling me against his chest. "You're not nothing. There's more to you than meets the eye. I know it. I can feel it. You have so much inside you but you're afraid of showing it."
A mocking smile played on my lips. "You say that as if you want to know me."
"You know I do."
I sighed, shaking my head. "I won't let you."
His arm tightened around me. "Is this how you're going to play it then? Pulling me in and pushing me away? Fucking for the sake of it?"
I closed my eyes, not wanting to humor his temper. "I'm not going to play with you, Rick. I fucked you because I wanted to. Not for the sake of it. Trust me when I say that if I fucked you for the sake of it, I would have been out the door hours ago, not fucking cuddling with you."
He was quiet for a moment, mulling my words over in his head.
"I give up. I can't get it. What's your angle? What's your story? Why are you one person one minute and another the next?"
I chuckled weakly. "You ask too many questions. Why won't you just stop thinking about everything, hm?"
"I can't stop thinking of you."
I stilled, my eyes snapping open and staring at the wall in front of me. "Lame line."
He sighed, burying his face in my hair. "I don't know why you're so pissed at the world. I don't know why you're in pain. I don't know why you're always hiding. But when I do find out who turned you into this cold hearted bitch, I'm going to beat the living hell out of that prick."
I snorted. "Charming."
"I'm serious."
"Don't give a shit."
He kissed my shoulder, the tender gesture unlike any of the kisses he'd given me.
"Someday, I'm going to make you give a shit."
"I won't let you. Giving a shit hurts too much."
His arms tightened even more as he placed a lingering kiss on my skin, as if he was trying to say something. It scared the shit out of me.
"What happened to you, Angel?" he asked, his voice low, seeking for an answer that I didn't even know.
I sighed, growing tired of his prying questions. "I have no fucking idea, sweetheart."