After our make-out session, I was lying on top of Connor, playing with his hair. He had both hands on my hips, and he was just relaxing, his eyes closed even though he wasn't sleeping. I looked up at him, and then pressed my ear to his chest, listening to his calm breathing and fast heartbeat. I smirked, and almost started to tease him, but decided to leave him alone. Later, I ended up falling asleep on top of him, the sound of his breathing and his heartbeats lulling me.
*****
"Shelby?" My eyes fluttered open, and I looked at Connor, was was now lying beside me. I guess he had moved me off of him while I slept. "Hmm?" I asked, closing my eye again. "Did you...um...have a nightmare?" My eyes instantly shot open. "Oh. Was I, uh...was I screaming?" Connor stared at me with concern and worry. "Yes. And you were thrashing around. I couldn't get you to calm down until I started stroking your hair." I sat up, suddenly looking around for any cracks in the floor. "I didn't summon skeletons in my sleep, did I?" "Wait-you can do that?" Connor asked, and I flinched, remembering that I hadn't told him. "Um. If the nightmare turns into a night-terror, yes. During regular nightmares, I only scream and thrash around." I realized that I had this sinking feeling in my stomach. I internally cried. Sometimes, I woke up like this, and then asked myself why I existed when i didn't have anything to live for. My mind would often ask me what the point in living was. My mom was dead because of me, and .y dad had walked out, so who would care if I left this world? Who would care if I took a dive off a building or bled out? Who would care, who would care, who would care? What was the point? Why-Strong hands gripped my shoulders, and I was ripped from my mind, awoken by my boyfriends voice. "Hey, Shelby-snap out of it! Breathe, baby, come on. In, and out, in and out." I hadn't realized I'd been hyperventilating. I had realized I had almost sent myself into a panic attack. I stead of listening to him, I threw his hands off me, ran downstairs, and grabbed my keys and helmet. "Shelby-if it was that bad-" Connor chased after me, but I slammed the door in his face, threw my helmet on, and started my bike. Once he was out the door, I backed up, and drove off like my life depended on it.