But how could Feng Suyin not feel guilt when losing his eyesight because of her? She felt responsible for his condition, even though it was just an unfortunate accident. She even allowed herself to be fooled by Ji Hanjun and mistook him as her savior instead of Ji Yuzhe.
The more she thought about it, the more annoyed Feng Suyin felt at herself. Looking at Ji Yuzhe's condition, I see that it weighed heavily on her heart. The accident changed their lives forever, especially Ji Yuzhe's. After learning everything he'd done for her sake, Feng Suyin couldn't disregard him now without her knowing. She realized she had been blind in more ways than one, but now, she was beginning to see her true feelings for Ji Yuzhe.
She had been so foolish and misplaced her loyalty to others that she failed to see Ji Yuzhe's unwavering support. After rebirth, she promised to make amends for her mistakes and stand by him through thick and thin.
"Why are you so good to me?" Feng Suyin lowered her head as she started to weep next to him. She couldn't understand why Ji Yuzhe was willing to drop anything for her when she treated him so poorly in the past. Her internal struggle was evident in her tear-streaked face and trembling voice.
Ji Yuzhe sighed and touched her hand.
"Because you are worth it," he replied quietly. "I see the goodness in you, even when you struggle to see it in yourself. You have no idea how many people you've helped for years, and you should start seeing that in yourself."
Feng Suyin burst into tears and threw herself into his arms. She hadn't expected that the words she longed to hear from the Feng family would come from his lips instead. She worked hard, trying to gain the approval and recognition of her adoptive parents, but not only did they take credit for her hard work from her previous life, but they ruined her life, and she could not escape from their grasp.
They proved to her that sometimes one's biggest effort will be ignored, but one's smallest mistake will be judged. Feng Suyin realized now that she could not allow herself to be used and taken advantage of by them.
Feng Suyin reached for a glass of water. The bottle she shared with Ji Yuzhe was now empty, but a water pitcher was on the table. As she poured herself a glass, she glanced at Ji Yuzhe, who sat beside her silently.
She shut her eyes and rubbed her aching temple, realizing she had drunk more than she could tolerate. As the room spun around her, Feng Suyun felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She tried to drown her sorrows in alcohol earlier, trying to numb the pain she felt upon the revelation of betrayal from her previous life. But as she slumped in the chair next to Ji Yuzhe, she knew she couldn't escape her problems.
Ji Yuzhe waited with concern, his hand still resting on hers. He could sense the turmoil within her but couldn't do anything to lessen her burden. He wondered if she was hesitating to break things off with his brother. It wasn't like he wasn't aware of Ji Hanjun's real intention back then, but Ji Yuzhe knew that as long as Feng Suyin had faith in his brother, she would not take his explanations seriously.
"I initially thought that the Feng family allowed the engagement between me and Ji Hanjun because they at least cared about me." Feng Suyin blurted out of the blue. "But I was wrong. If I hadn't seen him making out with Yilan earlier, I wouldn't have suspected my sister would replace me as the bride on my wedding day."
Ji Yuzhe could hear the bitterness in her tone.
"Do you really want to marry?" He couldn't help but ask.
"Hn," Feng Suying hummed, "Most women would jump at the chance to marry into a wealthy and influential family like the Jis, but I never wanted that kind of life. I realize now that marrying for love isn't for everyone. It would be enough if the husband and wife had mutual respect. So long as they know their boundaries, marriage can be a peaceful companionship for them.
Ji Yuzhe felt relief and sadness upon hearing her words. He had harbored feelings for Feng Suyin for so long, and he thought it would be better for him to bury them deep within him. She deserved someone who would cherish her the way she deserved to be cherished —someone who would see her for who she was and not for what she could offer.
"How about we marry instead?"
Ji Yuzhe was caught off guard after noticing how close Feng Suyin had gotten to him. He could feel her warm breath against his face and was taken aback by her sudden proposal. He could feel his heart thumping wildly against his chest. Marrying her was beyond his wildest dreams and the idea of being the one to spend her entire life with sent shivers down his spine. But he knew better than to act impulsively, especially when emotions were running high.
"Marry you?" Ji Yuzhe whispered in disbelief. "Are you suggesting this out of pity?"
When Feng Suyin didn't answer, Ji Yuzhe continued, "I might be blind, but I'm not afraid. If you want to marry me out of pity or guilt, then I must decline. I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me."
He wanted Feng Suyin to choose me because he genuinely wanted to be with her, not for any other reason. He never dared to dream that there would be a day she would willingly choose him. Yet, here she was, offering him a chance he never thought he'd have.
Feng Suyin pulled back slightly, hurt flashing in her eyes. She shook her head slowly and sighed.
"I don't pity you," she said in defense, "I admire you. I realize now that I misjudged you before."
Ji Yuzhe turned his face away. He knew the possibility that she was only saying this proposal under the influence of alcohol or that she decided this out of guilt and compassion. There was no way she was seeing him in a different light just because she caught his brother cheating with her sister.
Feng Suyin might have proposed to him spite Ji Hanjun .
"You are speaking nonsense. You can stay here for the night, and I will ask Uncle Jia to drop you home later."
"But…" Feng Suyin wanted to object, to insist that she couldn't leave things unresolved between them.
"You drank too much tonight. Don't say things you might regret later," he interrupted firmly, standing up from his seat.
"I'll make sure you get home safely. We can talk about this when you're sober."