"Seong Jin, the bus is going to leave you. What are you still doing up there?" I hear my father calling from downstairs.
I hurriedly stuff my assignment in a file I miraculously find somewhere underneath the mess in my room. Miss Reynolds does not like any loose papers because she says that she's a messy person who misplaces things everywhere and she does not want to delay anyone's grades as a result. We do not have any staplers just lying around. All the stationery is up in the attic and I am not going up there.
It is dark, filled with cobwebs and I think there is a creep who peeks at me when my back is turned to them. I know the feeling of being stared at when I feel it.
"I'm coming," I yell back, grabbing my orange beanie and pushing it down my head.
My hair gets swallowed inside it and my gaze flickers up to catch my reflection in the mirror. I do a double take when I notice the white smudge across my cheek and quickly rub off the toothpaste stubbornly staining my skin.
Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I dash out of the room at full speed while simultaneously trying not to trip over my steps on the stairs. Upon arrival in the kitchen, I catch my father holding my lunchbox with a rebuking look in his eyes. When he does this, he reminds me of my mother who has always been the berater between them.
Amma is not here, since she has demanded more normal shifts, not night shifts. Even if she technically gets paid more for working during the night. She leaves early in the morning.
She also told us that she might get deployed by the military to a country in the Middle East. Instead of being depressed and begging her to stay after she broke the news, we all nonchalantly shrugged and proceeded with our conversation while scourging our food down. Not because we would not miss her, but because we can survive without her. Now if my dad got deployed to a different country, that would be a different story.
Unlike him, Amma can be very helpless. She does not know how to look after us properly. We saw this back when he went to visit his family for a week because his cousin passed away.
She would wake up late from her night shifts and we would be late to school almost every day. The teachers got so irritated at that and sent us to the headmaster's office where she was called in to speak of our late arrivals. She told the headmaster that it would not happen again.
For a few days, she kept to that promise until she got too tired and repeated the cycle yet again. She did not make it a priority to buy groceries. I did not expect her to make us lunch because I was more than capable of doing that myself. Except how did she expect me to make the supposed lunch if there weren't any supplies to make it?
The gruesome walk to the shopping centre which was six blocks away from school was the only way I could get my lunch, especially with how expensive the food at our school is. Pasta mince and beef sandwiches which were very expensive for their size, unappetising too. I would rather pay more for something that is going to fill me up.
"Thank you, Dad." I smile up at him stiffly, taking the lunchbox from him.
He crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head in disapproval.
"I know, I know. I should stop procrastinating and do my assignments the moment they hand them to us. The only reason why I hadn't done it yet was because of our trip to Jobumo."
"That is a lie," he points out.
It is.
"Okay, love you. Bye," I say instead, running out of the house with all my items. I really hope I have not left anything behind, but with the way I rushed through preparing this morning, I wouldn't be surprised.
I hear the engine rumbling down the street before I see the classic, red double-decker turning the corner and I quickly jog over to the bus stop. While fiddling with the straps of my bag with a relieved smile, I impatiently wait for the bus to stop where I am. When it does, the doors sigh and puff open and I step inside, politely greeting Jimmy as I normally do every morning.
He predictably grunts in reply, probably annoyed at the fact that I do this every morning. I would not be surprised to find out that he wants to drive past me whenever he sees me. I wouldn't put it past him to do it too.
Slowly, I stroll through the aisle up to my usual seat, three seats from the front. This is where the boy who does not look at me sits.
I have tried to have a conversation with him but because he always wears a hoodie which covers his entire face and sleeps against the window, that has not worked to my advantage. He is apparently narcoleptic, and cannot help but fall asleep in relaxing places. I don't know if buses are relaxing with all the noise. The only thing I do is tap him out of oblivion when we arrive at school.
Today though, he has decided to sit in the seat that I normally sit in. It's still difficult to see his face because he is lying on his knees with the same dark hoodie covering his head.
Awkwardly, I look around and the students in the other seat look at me weirdly for still being up. Should I wake him up? I have no idea if it's the narcolepsy that makes him fall asleep or if he just so happens to be very tired all the time. Year thirteen does demand a lot of work and energy out of us since we are preparing for university. Especially now after the Christmas break.
So today, I decide to let him be and sit somewhere else with someone who I am familiar with. When I see said familiar face in the far back, my face lights up and I jubilantly walk over to him. "Hey, Fleance."
For a quick second, his eyes flicker up at me from the game that he is playing on his tablet before he focuses back on the game. When I see him tapping on his screen vigorously, I wince and wonder if greeting him in the middle of his game was a good idea. Probably not. A cuss leaves his lips when his car crashes. The sound of him getting eliminated rings loud amongst the chatter filling the bus. With an angry frown, he turns to me and thins his gaze at me.
"I hate you," he blatantly says.
"Sorry." My lips arch up into a sheepish smile, but that does nothing to lessen the intensity of the glare that is being directed at yours truly.
"Not to sound rude or anything, but why are you sitting with me?"
I shrug, putting my lunchbox and my assignment in my bag. "The guy I normally sit with isn't very talkative."
"That, or he just doesn't want to talk to you, Seong Jin."
"That is not true. Everyone wants to talk to me," I negate him while feigning an offended scowl. "Besides, I think the fact that he always sleeps on the bus might be a more dependable reason why he never talks to me."
"Mm-hmm," he echoes and arches a disbelieving brow. "If I were you, I would wake him up and he would have no other choice, but to talk to me."
"I thought you were too invested in your games," I muse with an amused smile. "Also I think he might be narcoleptic which is why he always sleeps on the bus. It would be pretty fucked up if you woke him up just so he could talk to you."
"What the hell does narcoleptic mean?" he asks, looking at me in confusion.
"In short, it is a disorder that causes one to fall asleep mostly in relaxing places."
"The bus is a relaxing place?"
"I guess so?" I respond with a hesitant chortle, shrugging my shoulders to portray how unsure I am about my response.
"Mate, that is actually so cool though. I could like fall asleep in class and the teacher would not yell at me because I would have a great excuse, narco-thingy."
"Narcolepsy," I correct him with an amused chuckle.
"Yeah. That."
Before he can get back into his game again, I recall the conversation I had with his brother last night and quickly insert, "And also you… gave your brother my number?"
I catch his eyes widening a little before he tames his face and clears his throat innocently. Only, I am the king of guileless expressions. If anyone would know when they are about to be lied to, it is me. I do this almost every time since I tend to do things that people don't like or things that I don't want them to find out about. Like when I was younger and stole cookies from the cookie jar. I lied to Amma and told her that Yang Jin was the one who stole from the cookie jar.
"No?" he drawls out while averting his gaze awkwardly.
"He told me you did," I state slowly and his eyes flicker around as if searching for another lie but before he can tell me the lie he has conjured up, I add, "Either he lied to me last night when I asked him where he got my number from or you just lied to me right now."
"Uh… well, I would not necessarily call it lying. It's more like… not telling you that I gave my brother your number because he would not stop fucking crying about it and because I got annoyed by him pestering me about it, I just ended up giving it to him." He watches me sheepishly when I stare at him with an unimpressed look on my face. "Are you mad?"
A sigh escapes my lips as the look on my face drops and I shake my head. "I'm not mad, but I would have liked to be informed that my number was being passed around."
"You can just block him if you don't want to talk to him. I know how annoying he can be, the little knob."
"That's rude."
"It's life, Seong Jin," he says indifferently, going back to play his racing game on his phone. "Besides, he'd get over it. It would not be the first time he got blocked by someone who does not like him back."
I shake my head with a frown until his words suddenly hit me out of left field, and I am left rapidly blinking in bemusement. It would not be the first time that Kai got blocked by someone who doesn't like him back.
What exactly is he trying to imply? That he… has some sort of feelings for me?
No, there is no way. He and I barely even know each other so there is no way he would like me. Yeah, he doesn't like me. He probably just misspoke. But also, even if we did get to know each other, I doubt he'd fall for someone like me.
My wandering eyes, bounce off everyone in the hallway in search of Taylor. I have not seen her this entire morning, even in homeroom. When I don't see her light brown, familiar braids sticking out of the crowd, I scowl and turn around to face my mint-painted locker. I guess she's absent. She could have sent me a heads-up. Maybe I would've been absent too, but thinking about my mum, I surmise that she wouldn't have let me skip a day of school without a legitimate.
I bob my head back and forth to the sound of Childish Gambino's album. I happen to know some of the lyrics so I manage to discreetly mouth them.
Opening my locker after reading the barely inspirational message that Taylor permanently imprinted on the door, I catch a little, red note falling out. Furrowing my eyebrows in wonder, I bend over to pick up the little paper and my hands palm the paper as I glance around curiously. Who is busy putting papers in my locker? Does somebody know the password to my locker, I wonder while still glancing around. Nobody seems suspicious. Maybe they just used the vents. They better have.
I open the letter and the words written on them make me still.
Be my Valentine?
I slowly push my headphones down around my neck and when I hear that all too familiar, dull voice which instantly makes my shoulders tense up, I do just that.
Frantically, I look around for him, but I do not see him anywhere in the throng of students clustering the hallway. Shaking my head at my silliness, I glance back down at the note and instantly scrunch it up in my hand. I want no part in whatever joke this person is trying to play on me. Then I'm back to exchanging my books from my locker into my bag and vice-versa.
"Zachary, wait, listen to me before you hang up. Tell your mother that I'm picking you up this afternoon."
Okay, maybe that is not part of my imagination; he's actually here.
I don't know how I feel about that. On the one hand, I am excited to finally hear and see him again. I mean, even my heart is drumming loud against my ears, both delightfully and painfully. That is all because he is physically here, sounding awfully close to me. I'm nervous to even see him. The last time we spoke was not one of the bubbliest chats we've had and that is saying something. The shouting is not how I normally solve disputes and he definitely is not the yelling type.
Throwing my head over my shoulder, I catch sight of the turned-popular lone wolf walking down the corridor with that usual blank expression on his face.
He's heading in my direction with his phone in his hand, held against his ear. I remember how he used to dress in monotonous coloured clothing, but now he both stands out and blends into the crowd. He is no longer the emo kid who doesn't talk to anyone. He has friends now. Well, I'm not sure if Jodie's friends are his friends too, but I've seen him talking to them prior to our second falling out.
Dominic Lachowski.
When I feel a slap on my behind, I jump and slam my back into the lockers, causing them to rattle. The person watches me with pursed lips so that they don't burst out laughing, but the amusement bubbling wildly in her date brown eyes shows that she finds this very hilarious.
"Taylor, what the hell are you doing?" I exclaim, hardening a glower onto her petite self. "You scared me."
"Mate, you should have seen the look on your face. You were so ready to slap me." She chuckles, throwing her head back.
"That's not funny," I chastise her while she's still laughing in my face.
Taylor and I have been friends since reception school. I have always described her as uniquely beautiful and I'm normally quite enamoured by the way her eyes sparkle with mischievousness, always on the move to be… well, mischievous.
Her brown hair is quite shiny and cascades all the way to her upper back. She normally braids it though. Since it frequently covers her eyes, the teachers scold her to tie it up. She does, but then she only ends up untying it every time after the class. Sometimes I feel like she enjoys getting reprimanded. She actually does. She has a point to prove to her mother, who so happens to be the headmistress of our school.
I remember how during orientation week, we were all very much new and I got separated from Taylor and Jodie. There were a few people who knew each other from primary school but some of us, myself included, did not know anyone. I knew Savannah, but she had already made friends and… I didn't like her very much even back then.
Taylor finally found me, saw that I was lonely, made fun of me and laughed at me with Jodie from afar, before they managed to sneak me away from my group.
"That is sexual harassment, you know? What if the roles were reversed and I was slapping you in the arse, huh?"
"Well, maybe you should stop bending over and flashing us your ginormous rear while wearing those cute trousers," she suggests while taking a step back to observe my so-called ginormous rear which causes me to frown indignantly. "And you can slap my arse any time you want; I don't mind."
"I doubt Edward would appreciate you giving other guys permission to slap you in the arse."
"Eddie knows that I'm faithful."
"Also my arse isn't ginormous," I mumble, sporting an angry pout. "It's just… generous."
"Right. Generous." Her brows quirk up and a grin of amusement stretches onto her lips. "By the way have you finished your assignment yet?"
"No, why?" I pocket the scrunched up note in my jeans, making a mental reminder to throw it away later and I quickly exchange some books from the locker into my bag. "You want to let me copy off yours? I would just love you for the rest of my life if you did that. Honestly slap my arse as much as you want to at that point."
"Yeah, as much as it pains me to turn that offer down, I just cannot allow that to happen," she shuts the idea down which has me pouting in mock disappointment. "If I get a zero for this assignment then I would rather get it alone."
"I am actually going to quickly finish the last section now in the library. Maybe even during recess if I don't finish now."
"So am I going to Krispy Kreme all alone?"
"You can just go with Edward, no? He would be more than willing to escort you to Krispy Kreme. The two of you could make out every two seconds as you do at lunch, but with no objection from me. I don't have to barf every two seconds and you don't get to hear complaints from me every two seconds. Honestly, I think it's a win-win for the both of us."
"What about after school?"
"Don't you have football practice?"
"Nah."
"I mean, we shall see if I finish at recess."
"Mate, you suck. You should really stop procrastinating."
"Hey, procrastination is an incurable illness. There are so many distractions in this world." I say, thinking of all the things I was doing to prolong my assignment. Reading, eating, playing video games, listening to music, reading.
Just as we are walking down the hallway, Taylor heading to her class and me going to Information Technology, my phone chimes in my pocket and I pull it out to see a message from the still unknown number. I don't know why, but I haven't been able to save his name on my phone. It turns out that he asked his brother for my number and for some reason, it feels weird knowing that he went to such lengths to get it.
Unknown: Is it weird that I asked Fleance for your number? I'm sorry if that was too forward. I did not have the balls to ask you myself, but I just want us to be friends. You're a cool guy, Seong Jin.
"Who is that?" Taylor asks me and I quickly pocket my phone again, wiping away the subconscious smile that I had on my face and watching her with what I hope is an innocent look.
"Hmm?"
"Who are you talking to?" she muses, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No one," I reply quickly. Too quickly.
Taylor arches her brows curiously.
I'm being too suspicious, aren't I? Should I tell her? It feels like such a small thing.
It just so happens to be a boy that I met when I was in Oxfordshire. It turns out that he's actually one of my friend's brothers. This boy whom I happened to meet a few years ago when I was hanging out outside the froyo shop after experiencing rejection for the first time at the hands of Dominic. Then we met again when I went over to his house for a party where I was given some kind of drink that made me feel really out of it. Next thing I know, this boy is helping me out by giving me some orange juice and crisps to help me sober up. Really kind of him, I must say.
No big deal, right?
"Okay, someone," I tell her and decide to leave it at that, but knowing Taylor, she is going to want to know who that someone is.
"Who?" she demands, proving my thoughts correct again.
"Just some guy I met in Oxfordshire," I try to come off as calm.
"Ooh," she sings excitedly, poking me in my side and I shrug her away, suppressing my blush. "So you took my advice after all? Do tell more."
"There is nothing to tell really. We met and that was it."
"Yet he gave you his number," she points out and the playful, knowing smile playing on her lips is making it difficult to remain indifferent.
"How do you know I didn't give him my number?"
"Cause you're a jellyfish."
"Cause I'm a jellyfish? What does that even mean?"
"Means you have no spine, mate. Too much of a pussy."
My mouth drops and I blink at her with an offended expression on my face but in the end, I nod in agreement.
I cannot even deny that because it is true. Even that first day we met, I wanted to ask him for his number, but I chickened out. I am, as she put it, a jellyfish. The fact that he asked his brother for my number makes me… elated even though it is a bit confusing why he did it. Why exactly does he want to talk to me? I'm a cool guy, he said. I don't even know when I gave off cool guy energy. I am the most awkward, uncool guy you could possibly meet.
"What's his name?" she enquires.
"Keiji Singh, but everyone just calls him Kai."
"Singh… Indian?" Her eyebrows dip down questioningly as she proceeds to happily skip beside me and I inch away from her, my nose wrinkling in irk.
"And Japanese," I add for clarification. "I am pretty sure his name is of Japanese origin."
"Wait, hold on a second." She stops me before I can head up the stairs to my classroom.
I lift my shoulder expectantly as her eyes gloss over thoughtfully.
"Do you remember at the beginning of the school year you told me that you're waiting for a Japanese guy—"
"To sweep me off my feet with his deep voice?" I finish for her, nodding in defeat. "Yeah. I remember."
"And?"
"And what?"
"Don't you see? Your tune has come true, little birdie." She shakes my shoulders roughly, and I shrug her hands off. "Don't you see that fate is throwing a big "fuck this guy" sign in your face?"
"No, Taylor."
"Don't you like him?"
"I do." Before she can jump to conclusions, I instantly add, "As a friend, okay? As a friend. You know, he's a good guy and I like him for being a good guy."
Her face drops and she stares at me in an unimpressed manner.
With my mouth parting and closing in shock, I question, "What, am I not allowed to have friends now? Like, not everything is about sex and feelings and whatnot."
"Oh my gosh," she groans in irritation and her face drops in realisation. "Please don't tell me you still like Dominic."
Awkwardly, I avert my gaze.
When I don't immediately dispute her claims, she shakes her head with a sign of disappointment glinting in her dark eyes. "Okay, well, if we are gonna get over Dominic Lachowski, Seong Jin, don't you think getting under Keiji Singh is the best way to do that?"
Again, I remain quiet, contemplating her words and in my heart, I already know that I don't want to get under Kai just to get over Dominic. First of all, I don't think that it would be fair to Kai for me to use him like that just to try and lose my feelings for Dominic. He, as I have said to Taylor before, is genuinely a good person and unless I am convinced otherwise, I do not want to do anything that could potentially jeopardise our blooming friendship.
"No, I don't. Besides, he's in Oxfordshire," is my final excuse to derail her plan of getting me to sleep with Kai.
"So he's not going to come over to Shoreditch any time soon?"
"I don't know, Taylor. I just met the guy. What makes you think I know all these things?"
"So he could?"
"I mean, his family lives here so, I guess."
"Oh, this just keeps getting better and better." She smiles big, her eyes glowing with excitement, and I regret telling her that bit of information. "Do you reckon he's back for like Christmas break or something?"
"Christmas break ended a long time ago."
She sighs, gazing down to hide her disappointment from me before she looks back up at me and sympathetically says, "You think I'm coming off strong here, but I just don't want you to be invested in Dominic and have to deal with unrequited feelings yet again. Especially now that he has a girlfriend. He is off the market, babe."
"Don't you think I know that?"
"Hey, do not get mad at me," she suddenly exclaims. "You're the one busy being a jellyfish and not asking Kai to fuck you."
"Please say that a little louder. I don't think the people in the south of France heard you," I hiss.
"You know I would actually shout that out louder, so the people in the south of France do hear me. Don't challenge me like that."