Yukino was sitting beside me hugging the two stuffed toys I just gave her. I held the umbrella to shelter the two of us from the snow. A white Christmas indeed. This might be the first time I spend Christmas alone with a girl. Sure, Shin would spend my birthday with me but she'll go home to celebrate Christmas with family. For all I could remember these past 3 years, I was always cooped up in my apartment watching the snow fill my veranda during Christmas. I was always hoping that someone would come and knock on my door to celebrate Christmas with me.
I hold this moment to be so magical. Not only did I get to spend Christmas with someone, I got to celebrate it with Yukino, the one I held so special in my heart. The one who unlocked my imprisoned heart.
Yukino reached out for something from her small bag. It was a small red box with a gold ribbon tied to seal it. She put down the two puppy stuffed toys beside her and turned towards my direction.
"Happy birthday Aoi." Said Yukino as she handed it out to me while blushing.
"Thank you. You didn't have to but thank you." I replied.
We quickly stared out into the river as if to divert our gazes away from each other. I can feel my face heating up so I'm probably blushing right now. I stole a glance at her and she's blushing as well.
"Can I open it?" Said I, to break the awkward silence.
"S-sure go ahead."
I gently untied the ribbon sealing the small box and opened it. Inside the box was a small letter folded many times. Under it was a pendant. Judging from the looks of it, this can't be cheap.
I read the letter and it said "Happy birthday Aoi. I hope you get to celebrate and enjoy more birthdays." I put it back in the box so that it won't be scratched.
"Aren't you going to wear it?"
"You mean right now?"
"Yeah, I'll put it on for you."
I gave Yukino the necklace and faced away from her. She lifted the back of my hair up to be able to put the necklace on as she remarked "Let me tie your hair as well in the process or I won't be able to put it on." She did so and after a few seconds, my hair was tied and the pendant was put on.
"So? How do I look?"
"It looks good on you." Said Yukino, smiling.
We realized how close our faces were to each other. It was just about a few centimeters away if I were to estimate it. We were blushing but this time we weren't able to avert our gazes away from each other. I dropped the umbrella unintentionally as the snow fell on our hair. I felt that the moment was right and we were leaning closer to each other going for a kiss. We were so close to kissing each other until Yukino looked away and muttered these words.
"We can't do this Aoi."
"I'm sorry if I was way out of line."
"That's not the case"
I wondered what those words meant. But I was too caught up in the moment that I just confessed my feelings.
"I'm in love with you Yukino. Do you not feel the same as I do?" Said I, looking directly at her teary eyes.
"It's not that I don't, I can't. I don't have enough time."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm dying Aoi. I don't have much time left."
"What? Explain this to me please."
Before she was able to answer, she began tearing up so she ran with the stuffed toys and my umbrella. I was left there and haven't moved an inch. The snow began to pile up on my head. I began tearing up from all the confusion and heartbreak that I just felt. I stayed there for about an hour and haven't moved an inch.
By the time I got back to my senses, I realized that she brought my umbrella so I let out a sneeze. It seems that I caught a cold which shouldn't be surprising when I basically bathed in snow for an hour.
The confusion won't let me sleep so I decided to go to her house to find the answers that I need. I gathered every inch of energy left in my body to get up. I found my body heavy as if the weight of the world started to fall upon me. I walked slowly head down as I heard a few honks from passing cars that almost hit me on my way to her house.
Snow continued to fall as I dragged myself to her house. I rang the doorbell a few times before her uncle opened the door.
"Before I let you in, promise me that you'll be calm and won't call for Yukino."
I nodded so uncle let me in.
"Take a bath first, I don't want you to go down with a fever."
Uncle prepared a bath as I stood at the kitchen in a daze. My mind was blank and I barely moved an inch. Uncle called for me so I made my way to take a bath. I sat at the bathtub for a few minutes just in a daze. My mind was completely blank and I couldn't even think of anything. I stared at the corner of the ceiling as if my soul just left my body. I bet I look like a vegetable right now.
As soon as I finished and had a change of clothes which are uncle's, come to think of it, this is the second time that I wore uncle's clothes for change. He called me to sit by the living room so I followed. Uncle pushed the ashtray in the middle of the glass table and offered me a cigarette. The two of us lit one at the same time.
"Looking how stressed you are right now, I guess I'll give you a cigarette to calm you down for the time being."
"Is Yukino in her room?"
"Yes. She came home crying. Considering that your eyes are all red. I think I have the gist of it."
"She told me she doesn't have much time."
"I guess you asked her out if she told you that. It's exactly like she said. She doesn't have much time. She's dying."