"Meditation is bullshit!"
"It works if you go into it with an open mind."
"Exactly. I don't have to go into actual medicine with an open mind for it to work."
"I never compared meditation to medicine; of course medicine works better. I'm saying, for this specific situation, you need to meditate."
"And I'm telling you, that's bullshit. Meditation has never worked for me. If you have to go into something with an 'open mind' for it to work, then it's just your mind doing all the work!"
"No shit, dumbass!! That's the whole point; for the mind to relax and find new avenues of-"
"Bullshit. I can't do it anyways. I've been forced to meditate on the past and it only ended up making me more annoyed."
"Because you went into it with the exact same attitude you have now. Of course it won't work for you if you do that. Can you, please, just give it a chance?"
"And waste my time with nonsense?"
"For the love of God. Maybe, for once, open your mind to something beyond your conventional beliefs; for five minutes?"
"Five minutes?"
"Well, actually a few hours."
"Hell no!"
"If you don't do this, the world ends; remember?"
"Like, everyone dies?"
"In most futures, yes."
"Fine. I guess I don't want to let everyone die. Teach me, oh wise, teacher, how do I meditate."
"First, I gotta get this room setup right."
Damian moves all the desks and chairs to other rooms, then has me sit down on the floor.
"Now, I want you to close your eyes and relax."
I close my eyes and I try my hardest to relax.
"Yuri, relaxing should not require you to visibly strain yourself."
"Sorry."
I don't try my hardest to relax. I try to relax. Relax relax relax relax. I hear the door open and close.
"God damnit, I was this close to relaxing."
"Terri, can you please join us in our meditations?"
Terri sits down, then I close my eyes again.
"I want to reiterate that we aren't trying to achieve some great state of relaxation. Your mind cannot enter a state of relaxation just by focusing enough on relaxing."
"Then what the hell goal are we trying to achieve here?"
"The purpose of meditation is not to achieve anything. In fact, is the lack of achievement. To be completely free of mind and body. To be in a rare state of absolute nothingness. No thought, no feeling, no nothing. Most people who treat meditation like you do, never get that experience."
How exactly does one achieve, sorry, not achieve nothingness?