A few minutes after getting our bikes, Sasaki stopped nagging me about my math problems. She clearly meant well, the fault lay in my somewhat stubborn head. She helped me out last year too, but I wanted to try it on my own. Besides, this was just a mock exam, nothing too serious.
There was still a long way to go to the train station. I usually accompanied her to the train station, a tradition we developed in high school. I dropped out, but she didn't. Even so, this journey felt too short. Sasaki's conversations were always... different. Sure, we usually talked about typical topics, whatever came to our minds or whatever school drama popped up. But there were other times. Like lightning, her insights struck forcefully yet briefly and were quickly consumed by the night. Whatever hopeful topic she raised was always followed by her bleak, cynical attitude.
"Maybe I should stop bringing my bike on my own." She said, glancing at the tires. "They're getting more beat up, and I don't even use them that often."
"You're just lazy. Do you want the same treatment as in high school?"
"Well, if it could save my broke bank, I'd gladly take that offer."
"I'm just kidding."
"I mean, those days were pretty fun. We went to school together, your grades improved... and I got free bike rides." Her smile faded. "It would be better if we had a choice in this, wouldn't it? I think this plot is rather dull."
"What's wrong? School stuff getting to you?" My confusion wasn't well hidden.
"What I mean is this." She pointed to the ground. "This situation or, in my opinion, this routine. You chose not to go to school. Individual actions change individuals. Meaning, by not going to school, you've changed my situation."
"That means we have choices, right? I mean, I could choose to go to school. That would change your routine."
"Easy to say. But why don't you do it?" Yet, she didn't say it. She wasn't that kind of person. "Like I said, only individuals can change individuals. That also applies to yourself. Only you can change your own situation."
"At some point, I suppose. But you know, it also comes with a cost. Going to a cram school would tighten our budget again. And if I get a part-time job, then I won't have time to study. It's a hindrance." -22."
"That's true. Money holds more power than individuals, at least to a certain extent. I'm sure you wouldn't kill anyone for any amount of money, but some people might. Money has this strange collective power that affects people all around the world in different ways. It's like a god that becomes stronger depending on the number of zeroes you mention."
"I guess that's why some tribes in Indonesia don't want any contact with the outside world. That god seems pretty terrifying unless you have a lot of things."
"Money enables us to make certain moves or not, so unless we have enough money, we don't have all the cards to make choices. That's why I think it's somewhat boring. We create money, and we ourselves decide who will have such power. It's somewhat frightening." Her eyes sparkled as she placed her hand on my shoulder. "Imagine if we all believed that monster existed."
"I'm pretty sure that won't happen. Many kids believe in Santa, and the chubby man hasn't come to our house so far."
"Of course. Thoughts can't create matter. But money doesn't have to be physical to influence people, just like Santa doesn't have to be physical to give gifts. And monsters don't have to be physical to scare people." She released her hand and glanced at her watch.
"Have you been reading Lovecraft lately, or what's going on?" I replied with a nervous laugh. She burst into laughter before hopping onto her bike.
"Not at all, it's something that's been on my mind. Weird, right? Imagine explaining the power possessed by a piece of paper to some aliens. They'd be scared!"
"Yeah, definitely! If it indeed exists, that is."
"I got the impression your friend was replaced by aliens, she really doesn't fit in." Her pace suddenly quickened. "I have to speed up a bit, or I'll miss the train."
"Yusue has a girlfriend or something, don't ask me. I hope you won't tease her... Because, you know..."
"Why's that? Don't you like my ramblings about love?" Her bike picked up speed, and she glanced back to make me half-smile. "I really want to talk about it, but my time's almost up."
"Yeah, don't worry. See you tomorrow."
I waved goodbye as I watched her leave. I was about to go my own way when I saw her quickly turn 180 degrees and head back towards me.
"Tomorrow I won't have cram school, so let's have a math session you won't forget. At your place, okay?" It felt strange to see Sasaki forget something, but I quickly agreed.
As soon as I couldn't see her anymore, I started to realize the street's affairs. The faint smell of food penetrated my nostrils, making my mouth water at the thought. After hesitating for a few seconds, I decided to head home. Interestingly, I couldn't recall what Sasaki said or what she actually meant.
She talked about the idea of "if everyone believes something, then it becomes real." Sasaki implied it throughout the conversation, and she wouldn't bring it up if it wasn't necessary. Her timekeeper ran out so maybe tomorrow I could ask her more.
I tried to grasp the conversation while riding my bike, but the journey ended too quickly. The surroundings of my neighborhood quietly began to look familiar, as usual. In the background, gray clouds obscured the afternoon sunlight, staining the streets with a soft, dim orange hue.
Returning home reminded me of the strange feeling that came over me this morning, strangely not expressed by Sasaki. Maybe she thought I was also afraid of her test results, like Kanekawa. There was nothing else to explain it, as I didn't feel sick or anything. My subconscious mind might want me to learn more, triggered by a dopamine supply disruption.
As I arrived home, I saw a calico cat standing in the middle of the road, staring at me. The lazy creature didn't even attempt to move as I sped past. I hugged the wall, trying to avoid the cat without losing momentum, after all, cats were always like that. Completely indifferent to whatever humans did. Except for the fact that it moved towards my right at the same time I did.
I hit the brakes before something worse happened.
"What's with you?" I asked the cat, knowing full well it didn't understand me.
The calico cat stared at me as if inviting me to get out of the way. A few moments later, it climbed the wall separating the houses from the road and stood there watching me. I almost thought it was going to speak and demand an apology for almost hitting it, but that didn't happen. In the end, I was pretty sure cats didn't talk.
I continued my journey, this time on foot, because I was close enough to my house that I didn't care. The cat stalked me, only stopping when I turned to look.
Feeling a bit unnerved by my stalker, I quickly parked my bike and entered my house.
"I'm home!" I sat in the entryway and started to take off my shoes when a high-pitched voice welcomed me home.
My little sister came down the stairs and hugged me without warning.
"Welcome back! How was your day?" That was my daily routine when coming home, being greeted by my sister and asked the same question.
"Good, I guess."
She immediately released me and grabbed my bag.
"Did you buy something on the way here?" She asked, peeking into my bag.
"Hey, what are you doing? Don't go rummaging through other people's stuff!" I took back my school bag and stood up, after taking off my shoes reluctantly.
My sister pouted before answering back. "But I'm curious! I want to know what gift you're going to give me..."
Her words slowly sank into my head as I tried to understand the situation.
She was looking for a gift. For her. So that's what my head was trying to remind me of.
"I won't let your birthday present get ruined, you know. Besides, I already have it." I quickly lied and started to climb the stairs to my room, with my sister trailing behind.
"You did?! When?" Her curiosity kept bothering me, as did her constant pulling at my clothes. "What is it? A toy? Jewel? Treasure?!"
"What do you think I am, a pirate? I don't have enough money for that."
"Then what is it?!" As soon as she said that, I hurried up and closed my bedroom door.
I heard my sister's sigh, but I ignored it as I collapsed onto my bed.
As I did so, I remembered Sasaki's words.
"This world isn't all that interesting, is it... Maybe you're right," I said aloud.
In the end, I always hoped for something to happen. But the only thing that happened was that the world was already contaminated and couldn't be fixed anymore, high school life was stable yet boring, and everything that could make this world more interesting was scientifically impossible. I guess the only good thing was that I had someone like Sasaki to talk to when something interesting happened.
"Everyone should believe that something good should happen. Oh dear..."
I gathered myself and looked at my messy room.
"I should probably tidy this up before Sasaki comes."