Kathlyn:
The road was silent, I didn't want to say another word to him, no, not after that, stupid jerk. I just wanted to get out, to get him out, he always spends all of his days in that dusty place, he thinks of himself as high and mighty but he's easy to read, easy to me that is, haaa....
"Margarete, can you prepare the bath for me?"
"Yes m'lady."
It's not like I don't understand what he's going through, living alone, I might not be an orphan but I also did not have my parents close to me growing up, we're a wealthy family which means they were mostly overseas, taking care of business. Since I was little, Margarete and the other house ladies took care of me.. I understand how it feels to be alone.
... I'm wrong, he had his parents growing up, they just disappeared, compared to mine which were not here to begin with, I guess that's the difference, it's a different type of loneliness that stains his heart.
"For fuck sake, this is bad, but he needs to go out, he needs to experience the world before... Lady Saphira I would really want your advice now..."
Adonai:
I'm such a jerk, I should've not refused her, she has my well-being at heart, but that feeling of pity I felt. I just can't stand it. I might view a lot of stuff as meaningless but that doesn't mean I'm cold hearted, no. Just because I don't care where I end up after university that doesn't mean I don't care for the people around me, well the few that there are, Kathlyn, Anwir, Maverick, Stella, my only friends. I do care about them, but three out of four don't butt in my life so much.
When we departed today I could feel how that pity in her transformed into anger...
"I can't even understand why she's angry at me, she wanted to go out, I refused, what's there more to it."
Sometimes saying things out loud helps clear the mind, acknowledging a situation can possibly point you in the right direction but sometimes it just doesn't. While I was standing there like a dumbass waiting for the moment of epiphany to hit me I realized, I don't know. The truth is I just don't know, I'm so used to being by myself that interactions like this makes no sense to me. Maybe someday I'll understand it but for the moment I should..
*Ring*
A message?
"Be sure to prepare for the test tomorrow, we don't want you to fail, best of luck - Maverick"
What's this dumbass even talking about, he's the one who almost fails all the time. "You should tell that to yourself, you almost had to repeat the year not so long ago."
"I know, but I figured you'd probably feel down, I heard that you and Kath got into a bit of argument so I wanted to check on you, Anwir is pretty worried as well but he has to take care of the matters at his house so I'm here for him as well, well as far as sms goes."
"How did you even find out?"
"Words go around you know, it's a 'small city'."
"She talked to Stella."
"I wouldn't know anything about that, but you should consider your words carefully, just because you're in a bad situation doesn't mean no one else is, anyway take care and make sure to make up with her tomorrow."
...
Haa.. I get it now, she's hurt as well, I didn't even thought about her history for a bit, my parents vanished, hers were not here since the beginning, I should've not act like that, I should've not use that excuse, this place has sentimental value to me, but does she even have something like that?
I acted like I'm the only one in this situation, if anything she probably has it worse than me yet I couldn't see that. We don't know each other for that long, all of us got together when the first year started and they kinda forced me into this group, but that's no excuse for how I acted, I should've thought it more, since I knew about it, she was open to me about it, and she did that so I wouldn't feel alienated by her in the first place…
...Tomorrow is gonna be a long day.