The war came sooner than expected and very soon my husband was getting ready to go to the front line. As a wife and a woman I stayed out of the way. I never knew what happened with the spy incident or the assassination attempt one. His Highness kept it in secret, well i guess he didn't want everyone to panic.
During the cold winter we bid our goodbyes to the men who will go fight the war. A wife would kiss her husband and beg the lord to keep him safe when he goes to war right? I'm also a wife and yet I'm the only one didn't get to do that.
The Crown Prince held a banquet one night for all the soldiers that whatever happens they would fight for their land. It was held at the middle of the capital city and almost every family whether they be nobles or commoners tonight everyone were the same. Everyone thought of the safe returns for their loved ones.
My husband who will be leading the men tomorrow alongside his highness stood proud and tall. His presence alone motivated every soldiers and knights. I thought I would also wish you safe returns. I thought I would kiss you this first time. If you were to not return i knew I would regret it. But why is it so that you are kissing the hands of her and get her blessings instead of mine.
Why is it her that you kneel and bow your head and hope to bring victory for? Am I not your wife? How cruel of you to ignore me at this time of the day. All night I've stood aside as you talked to everyone with a smile, all night I've admire those wives who was hugging their husbands so tightly not wanting to let go. All night I've heard the sweet whispers of the husbands assuring their wives and kids that he would come home for them. Will you no do that for me? Will you not assure me your safe returns? Will you not hug me? For the first time i started to cry.
I cry as I saw you walking up to Her Highness in front of everyone and kneel. I cry as you put your lips on her hand before mine. I cry as I saw her hugging you with tears. I cry as I feel the three of you so far away from me. Do I not have a husband? My heart hurts. I thought I was over it but it hurts now.
I wish you never return to me.
---------------
It was almost midnight when Ceaser came back home. He had been salty all these times especially after he saw some men talking with with his wife. By the time he realised she had already gone home before him.
"Welcome home Master" Heinz greeted. The old man took off his coat and went to prepare some late night snacks. "Where is she?" He heard his Master's voice. This was the first time his Master directly asked about the Duchess. "She's in her room Sire." He answered. Ceaser made no other comments and just walked up the stairs.
Along the cold night corridor his feet took him to an unfamiliar door. He rarely visit this side of the mansion. For a while the man stood infront of the door as if contemplating on what to do next. In the end he slowly opened the door and walked in.
The room was simple and blend. If you saw the other rooms in this mansion and then came here you would think you're in another house. There weren't much decorations just a simple painting covered by a large fabric. He sees a figure on the bed. Seeing the stable breathing of the body, he guessed the figure was sleeping.
Ceaser came and stood near the bed. His wife, who he had never interact much was sleeping peacefully. With one look one can tell she was crying as her eyes looked puffy. The husband slowly sat down fearing of waking up his wife and looked at her. Her long dark hair flows down the bed. He picked up her hair and bring it to his lips.
Were you crying for me? He thought. Why didn't you come and wish me luck? His mind was occupied by such questions and yet his eyes never took off from her.
In the end he tucked her in and left. It doesn't matter whether he got her wish or not afterall it's war.