3 and a half years later…
-Clump
As I closed the cover that was blessed by a nice yellow tinge of invasive sun, following the last page of the book, I felt a tsunami of pure dopamine crash into my very being, even getting my toes to shiver a bit. It was the sound. The sound it made was just too perfect, that I barely have the confidence to describe it. It was neither too heavy nor too light, it wasn't too lengthy nor was it too short. It was as if the air trapped beneath the cover itself partnered up with the book just for that moment in order to make me realise my hard work, and appreciate it.
I've finally finished the book.
-Clump
It wouldn't be an understatement to say that my entire life so far has been solely dedicated to this book. I woke up for this book, I slept for this book, I ate for this book, for 3 whole years. Nearly everything I did except acting as a normal (or atleast a possible-to-happen) child, was done just so I could read this book as efficiently as I can.
3.5 yea-
Clump*
Ahh that sound, it doesn't seem to be planning on leaving my head anytime soon. I actually wasn't reopening and closing the book to make that sound, because as tempted as I was to do so, I was equally as afraid that it would corrupt the OG sound that I knew was gonna stay etched in my head like a download, forever.
I turned over my body that was previously on top of the defensless book while spreading my limbs out to land on the floor in a star position, only to break the position, not too long after flinching my eye that was almost blinded by the endearing embrace of the warm sunlight, that seemed to suddenly surge with energy as if The Legendary Clump was the horn that began the marathon, folding my left arm to make a dab pose.
I then began to blindly reach for the book that I might aswell have married by now with my right hand. Which ended up taking longer than I had expected.
After finally finding it, I brought it above my face and looked at it with nostalgic eyes, and begun to recall the deepest despairs I had experienced in the past 3 and a half years, which the majority surprisingly ended up not being in the first few months of this journey while my dad was here for the longest time so far.
It really felt like I was looking at my whole life with it on front of me.
I then rotated the book until the side that revealed the inch long crevice between the front and back cover that was tightly packed with pages, adorning an almost too familiar whitish-brown, was opposite my face.
I then began flipping through the pages that each didn't fail to leave their own personality to reverberate across the room, which caused my mind to go a bit numb as I thought about how crazy this really was.
I can confidently say that each 10 pages of this book took AT LEAST a month to fully comprehend, which was the level of comprehension that I always strived for no matter how tedious it felt or really was.
I can also confidently say that I spent more time reading this book that the author spent writing it.
Of course, I wasn't only reading. My moms job in a restaurant made it so I could sneak away with a solid amount of time of cultivation and practical optic power practice, in which I knew was frequently being peaked on by Emily.
Suddenly having an urge to show off my new skills to the author who had been annoyingly forcing feelings on me every now and then, I began to demonstrate my proudest accomplishments.
First, I entered The True World and gazed at the wide range of different poo shades sparkling (they weren't) around me, which to my regret ended up ruining my perfect mood a little.
2 days after I began reading the book, I took an elemental affinity test at my aunt's residence, which tells you which elemental particles you are able to see and influence. And yes, you guessed it. My elemental affinity was bound to the earth element, which is undoubtedly the most mundane and closest to 'grey' out of all the elements.
Haa. After that whole deep monologue of how I wanted to see vibrant colours they went and gave me this…
But thankfully that wasn't enough to stop me from continuing the book because firstly, reading it was so interesting and fun that I was reluctant to stop even in face of hardships, and secondly, there was some weird and mysterious feeling I had that led me to believe my fate wasn't bound yet…
But let's not go too far down the tangent.
Anyway, my bad mood was quick to stop it's breaches as a still too surreal feeling tickled my brain, which was caused by my entrance into the Eyes Mind. I then began gathering a decent amount of particles into six brown, neat and glowing balls the size of maybe a finger nail, which were currently non-existent outside of Yerbavies,
(A/N: Not fingernails lol the glowing balls)
and then gathered a larger amount of particles to make 3 also brown, neat and glowing sticks that were standing upright on the ground, which were also non-existent outside Yerbavies.
What happened next shocked everyone inside the room. Suddenly 6 balls of poo appeared with a non-existent 'pop' sound in the room outside Yerbavies, along with 3 poo rods that appeared a meter and a half away from the balls, standing tall and erect on the wooden floor (There was no one inside the room, I was just feeling silly…).
3 'Tak' sounds snapped around the room, followed by three thuds, and further followed by a:
"Sheesh! 3 shot, 3 kill!!"
I excitedly gawked with my fist pumped up after flicking three of the six dirt balls at the 3 towers. I then recalled the head-turning (away) balls and rods to Yerbavies and regained my focus.
Oh and no, I'm not planning on giving them any mercy, they'd need a miracle to get that from ANYONE.
Concentrated, I began reciting a high elven poem from within the eyes mind which went like:
"Fairies, come to papa as indeed his great beauty is one to be shared."
Suddenly, an almighty force fell upon the majority of particles around him in the Yerbavies world.
The deep silence was enough for anyone to understand that none of the earth particles had any intention of going towards the freaky narcissist. Infact, the almighty force pulling them was none other than their hormones, pulling them away from the brown haired boy. They aren't meant to have hormones but it seemed the dire situation was enough for them to evolve to get them.
"Tch, stubborn bastards."
I clicked my tongue, still speaking from inside the eyes mind.
"Fairies, heed my call and come, as indeed without eachother we are nothing."
I watched with a sour expression as the previously reluctant particles suddenly went all jolly to come to me, as if infused by some drug.
"Tsk, what a bunch of tsunderes."
I said before quickly focusing in order to absorb the quickly approaching particles into my eyes mind.
After 2 peaceful minutes of this, I opened my eyes in Yerbavies and felt the sudden burst of fps that occurs after ending a session of cultivation. It only lasts for a few seconds and only felt natural after about 1 and a half years of experience.
Still not recovered from my mood, I decided to show off one final move.
This is the masterpiece that I have spent atleast a month worth of practical practice on in order to perfect my accuracy with it.
Staggering slightly due to finally standing up after 4 eventful hours of floor time, I approached the window leading to the village roads and began to choose my very unfortunate target dummy.
Oh, haha! And guess who I caught lacking, snacking on some bread loafs that were meant for todays dinner!! None other than our maid, Emily!! Guess someone needs a little discipline!
Emily POV:
"What the…!"
Emily exclaimed as her screaming instincts guided her hands to cover her bum, which she did.
She stood still and gazed at her surroundings cautiously for anything that could have been the cause for this foreboding happening. She knew it was just some random phenomenon that the world doesn't know about, but she still bothered to look around. Her instinct screamed pretty loudly after all. Hell, it's still screaming even.
Seeing an alleyway to her left, she decided to approach it, it looked a tiny bit ominous so she thought maybe that was the cause of it.
My POV:
A wide smirk appeared on my face as I heard her footsteps getting quieter, signifying she was not focused on our house which she would normally be.
Taking this chance I stood up to the window and quickly went in the eyes mind. With full focus, I gathered the elemental particles to make a shape akin to a blanket being lifted up from the centre, yet with its majority flat on the floor.
Lo and behold! This is the millennial masterpiece invented by the one fated to take the universe by storm.
"Mmph…!!!"
Suddenly, an intense muffled sound from a rather feminine voice echoed through the empty streets of the very early morning, but as muffled as it was, anyone could tell the sheer amount of pain masked by those profusely pulled in lips of the maid.
But I'm sorry to tell you, the sound isn't the worst thing about the picture.
Under the tensed to the maximum body of the maid, a trauma inducing sight can be seen, showing a stick that seemed to only get sharper as you go up, embedded into the cloth-
"I don't get paid enough for this bruh, I'm out." ~Narrator
-embedded into the cloth of the maids dress. And it didn't take long for blood to start dripping down the whats clearly-
"Uh, same. This is a bit too much for me too…" ~Replacement Narrator
-what's clearly a deadly spike.
"My cheeks…!!!"
Emily grimaced as she felt a pain she had never before. With bloodshot eyes, she then eerily turned to look at the residence of the young master who she believed to be the only possible culprit to such a vicious crime. And to no one's surprise, one could see that very young master looking at her from the window to the houses library, with an angered expression on his face as if he didn't get what he wanted.
No I missed!! Well it was good enough I guess.
Anyway. Lo and behold… The Anus Annihilator 9000!!!
Oh, better recall it before she recogn-
…
Damn.