As Aldric battled with his existential crisis, the rest of the Awakened battled with the Knight, as much as a chicken could battle the butcher in a slaughterhouse—simply a defiant struggle that ultimately was pointless.
'I've died, probably a couple of times even.'
This information felt a lot like the words the Knight said before it killed him—less like something he remembers and more like a detail in his head that only seems to connect when it repeats. And when it does connect, it feels extremely real.
"The memory stat?" Aldric thought as another scream tore through the room, only to be silenced moments later—its life taken ruthlessly. But for now, Aldric's attention had been completely detached, so much so that he paid it no mind.
'Memory Stat Details'
Upon this thought, a screen materialized before Aldric:
[Memory (Stat):
This measures your ability to remember things from past return, depending on the stat number, with low stats, you can remember slight and small details vaguely. With higher stats, you can remember events by duration. The range of memory duration is also dependent on the stat number, varying from seconds to longer periods.]
[Core Memory:
These are memories you subconsciously chose to remember because of importance. They are clearer and always noticeable when they repeat. The Memory (Stat) decides how much you can remember, and the Core memory Rank determines the vividness of these memories.
Current Slot: 2/10]
[Faint Memories:
These are memories you subconsciously pick up; sometimes, they might not hold importance. These memories are less noticeable and can be missed. They often come across as a subtle feeling of déjà vu. These memories can only be details, never events or durations. However, more of them can be stored.
Current Slot: 4/25]
Suddenly, for Aldric, it all seemed to make sense now. The two Core memories that were saved were his realization that he had already been returning and something the Knight said to him, although he wasn't entirely sure what it was, or is going to be?
While the faint memories were most likely the times he had felt a slight feeling of déjà vu—seeing the sword Mia held, hearing what the Knight had told her before beheading her, and knowing not to move before the Knight—Aldric could immediately tell these were the faint memories because they felt far different from how he remembered the core memories. He didn't just get a gut feeling with core memories but instead a pressing connection to the memory.
After respawning, he immediately had a cognizance that he had already come back multiple times, and since him coming back was a detail or event that repeated, he realized it. When he hears the Knight's words again, he'll probably fully realize that memory as well.
Aldric quickly understood that if he already had faint memories before he set the checkpoint, he must have respawned prior to then, which meant he probably had a checkpoint somewhere else and had died or been dying before getting the chance to choose a new checkpoint, which he set because he was unable to remember he already had a saved checkpoint.
Aldric's head began to ache as he considered all of it and could only wonder:
'How long has this been going on?'
As he internally searched for an answer, he recalled seeing a new "Returns" stat in his status window this morning—surely that is meant to shows him what he's looking for.
'How many times have I died?'
Aldric thought with a mix of intrigue and fear.
"Status"
======
[ Aldric Voss ]
======
Markings: [The Remainder] [A False Existence]
Affinity: [Null]
Rank: [Warrior(0)]
Xai Energy (XE) Reserve: 10/10
Returns: (32/?)
----------
Stats
----------
| Strength: [2]
| Agility: [3]
| Durability: [2]
| Intelligence: [10]
| Memory: [0.4]
| Xai Control: [0]
----------
"Thirty-two?!" Aldric exclaimed. "I've done this thirty-two times?" He shouted so loud that if he were anywhere else, everyone would turned to him like he was insane. However, it was barely even audible over the screams of the dying Awakened.
[You have stored a new core memory]
'It took me thirty-two times to realize what was going on,'
Aldric thought with a hint of sadness, ignoring the notification.
However, he recalled there was no count when he woke this morning, so now he wasn't exactly sure when he died first.
Anyway, what was more important was the question mark, because the left digit before the slash indicated the amount of times he had died; it only made sense that the right showed how many more times he could do so.
"What does this mean... " Aldric muttered, confused and annoyed.
He'd be able to plan his moves more adequately if he knew how many chances he had, but now he was left with a question mark that could mean a range of things—from his chances left being simply hidden to an infinite number.
Logically, this just meant he couldn't be careless even though he was now sure he was able to return, because any death could unironically be his last.
The sound of the Knight cleaving through Alzine's body echoed slightly through the space; like before, he was the second to last to be killed, and as the Knight turned to Aldric, he realized it was his turn.
As he watched the Knight approach, he knew there was a chance he wouldn't die, but the question mark made sure he couldn't know for certain. However, even having a chance of returning did little to dispel the terror that he felt from each approaching step the Knight took.
It reached him, towering over Aldric. The Knight paused.
"The lost men whisper to the gods pleas of redemption, and for that sin, The First spill the blood of the gods on the very altar they worshipped them... Why?"
Yes, that was it—the question Aldric was waiting for. He expected it, but what does he do with it? What kind of question was that? It made no sense to him, but he had to attempt an answer—maybe that was his only way out.
So he looked up at the Knight, took a deep breath, and spoke:
"The gods were evil themselves, so to whom could they give redemption?"
Aldric knew his words made no sense. In fact, he only spouted this level of bullshit at his guild interviews. However, nothing had made sense for a long while now, and perhaps his way out of his current predicament was some philosophical jargon.
Then Aldric inhaled metal, this time not from the numerous bodies that already lay the floor, but instead from his own blood.
'It wasn't my way out after all.'
[You Have Died]