After a short yet bumpy ride in Zomboss's Zombie Van, we reached what I could only describe as gothic architect heaven.
Tall grey walls lined with spiked metal fences, gargoyles on pillars overlooking a lawn of dead and brown grass, and a giant set of heavy wooden doors leading into the large stone mansion.
"Welcome, my humble assistant, to the Manzion!" Zomboss shouted as we got out of the van, a dramatic flash of lightning crossing a sky accentuating his shout.
Wasn't it midday just a few moments ago? The sky here is purple and dark, not at all nice for lunch.
"So, what now?" I ask my boss as he points dramatically at his Manzion, or Z-Mansion.
Z-Mansion just sound better, maybe we could build a few more and call them Mansionz?
No matter how much the guy urges, I'm not calling it a Manzion.
"What now?" He asks, turning back to look at me, "No we wait for my army of Zombies to take the last two living brains on earth, and then I shall rebuild society in my image! Nobody could stop me!!!" Another flash of lightning crosses the sky.
I think about what he said for a moment before a thought occurred to me, something that I should have thought about the moment I crawled out of my tomb.
"But like, why?" I ask Zomboss, catching him momentarily off guard.
"'Why?' Why what?"
"Why kill them? Won't it be more interesting for them to fight on? Try and continue the survival of the human species?" I try and explain to him, Zomboss tilts his head in confusion, nearly stumbling from the weight of his giant brain.
"Because, I mean like, Don't you think it would be cool to make a TV show out of them?" I explain my perfectly sound logic.
"A TV show?" He mumbles to himself in confusion, looking at me as If I'm an insane psycho, almost like he didn't start the zombie apocalypse in order to rule the world.
"Yeah, won't it be boring for all of us Zombies if we just stopped, If the last humans are dead then what more is there stopping you? Where's the challenge, the fun? Give them a few years, for entertainment of course, get a group of zombies to film them 24/7, and in a few months, we could start to make a cartoon or something out of it, paint them as the heroes to achieve a younger viewer demographic and proceed to sell toys and merchandise based on the show. Boosting the morale of the Zombies. Which brings the question, Blossom, Buttercup, or Bubbles?"
Thinking over the words I said, Zomboss looks to the purple sky, almost lost in thought.
"Yes..." He whispers, nodding his head in agreement, "That's a good Idea! I knew I should have hired you! Wow, who knew having a thinking person to talk to could be so useful for planning the future of my global Zomburbia, maybe turn New Jersey into Zombopolis, Yes that's a good idea..." He nods his head a few more times before turning to look at me in newfound light.
"The answer is Blossom, She's the leader and she's smart!" He shouted, pointing his gloved hand at me.
"Phew," I sigh in relief, "For a moment I was afraid you were going to choose Buttercup," I said, Wiping a non-existent bead of sweat off my grey brow, "But the correct answer was Bubbles, obviously," I say and start walking toward the mansion, leaving Zomboss to blink in confusion before he started walking after me.Standing before the massive Door of the Z-Mansion, another dramatic crash of thunder later, and soon the two of us were inside the Mansion.
"Come on, I'll show you to the camera's room, We should be able to see the Zombies try and capture the humans from there, I'll tell them not to kill them, just kidnap." Zomboss explained as he ran up the stairs, forcing me to hasten my walk in order to keep up with him.Now in a room filled with many screens, with one large screen in the middle showcasing the assault on the human's houses.
"Now, let's look at how things are- Does that plant have a face?!" Zomboss yelled, quickly grabbing me by the collar and pulling me to look closer at the screen.
At the green plant with small black eyes, shooting what I could only describe as oversized peas from its open mouth-like hole at the horde of zombies, behind said plant were more of those "Pea-shooters", and behind them were short sunflower-looking plants, with small smiling faces on them. The Sunflowers would every once in a while shake their leaves and small glowing orbs would fall off, like a bee spreading pollen.
Inside an open window, looking out from the inside of the living room of the house, a Short tanned girl could be seen yelling what could only be encouraging words at the plants, waving a baseball bat in her hands, her scraggly blonde hair resembling the sunflowers on her lawn.
"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON OUT THERE?!" Zomboss yelled, and I couldn't agree with his question more.
What in the heck, indeed...