Chapter 30
"Please repeat that," Jin asked. "I know I'm a little crazy, but I thought you just said the HPSC wants to hire us as undercover agents?"
"Someone's crazy," I replied. "I can't decide if it's Ando for making the offer, or me for considering it. In either case, it's not you. Can you set up a meeting with Nigthwing and Spinner? As this may affect them, I want us all to discuss it together. Don't tell them what it's about, please. Just ask if they can meet."
"Your most devout acolyte won't be an issue. He'll be wherever you ask him to be and will do whatever you want him to do. It's really endearing, yet disturbing at the same time. I'll bring in long, dark, and feathery too." He hesitated and his face softened with a look of frightened hope. "There's really a chance we could become heroes?"
"He said as long as you weren't wanted for murder or rape. If you are …" I almost said if he was, then he had to leave. Then I remembered Rachel and others I had known who had killed, but under mitigating circumstances. "We'll talk about it."
"I tell you true. I have robbed, burgled, lied, and cheated. But the only blood on my hands is my own." The sadness in his voice was palpable. I laid a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at me with a strained smile. "I have no idea if someone has made false accusations. But I should be ok."
"I wish I could say the same," I stated. "Seven died in that fight Wednesday. I only killed one – and it might actually have been a bad drug interaction, not me. I still feel like I have some blood on my hands from all of them. It's irrational, but as a very close friend tells me – guilt seldom gives way to logic."
"What are you going to do?" he asked.
"Try harder in the future." I paused. "You know what I'd really like to do?"
"What?"
"Stop getting into these situations. I don't really want to be a hero. I've done that and don't really want to do it again." I had never explicitly told Jin my history. But I'd stopped editing myself around him. The fact that he acknowledged what I said, without asking for details was a gift. He probably thought I was as delusional as he had been, but he accepted me as I was.
"I keep falling into old patterns of thought and behavior," I continued. "In this case, I could easily have avoided all of this simply by not taking the job with Greedo. I could be sweeping up and making tea in some random hero agency's office right now, like most of my classmates. I really should have done that. Instead I got it into my head that there was a problem here, and I had to be the one to solve it."
"There was a problem, and you did solve it." Jin pointed out.
"There are so many heroes around; I don't think this world needs me to be another." Pacing was hard in my small apartment. I walked to the window and looked out into the night.
Jin joined me at the window and gestured to the littered streets and graffitied walls and desperate people hurrying about their lives. "There aren't any heroes around here. Everyone knew the Bounty 'Heroes' were crooked, but no one did anything about them. Except you. So I gotta disagree with you. The world may not need another hero, but Mosuaizuri sure as hell did. Sometimes good enough is good enough."
I winced. It seemed that not only did a news helicopter capture Stain making his escape and my capture of him, one of the pro heroes in Hosu had his phone out and had caught my subsequent conversation with Midoriya on video.
Watching I discovered that Emily had not bothered to translate my 'What a maroon' comment, so it came out in English. Our shared speech was so automatic at that point that I didn't have conscious awareness of the words that came out of my mouth. The English quote from Bugs Bunny quickly became a tagline for the videos and a mocking nickname for Stain – in part because his costume actually was maroon. Other parts of our conversation were also making their way into the public awareness. Hearing Jin throw my own quote back at me was cringy, but I couldn't really argue.
"Maybe it was necessary this time," I allowed. "But it's not the future I want for me. I'd rather … I don't know what I'd rather do. I'm just so tired of fighting and killing all the time."
"Does that mean you don't want to take up the HPSC offer?" he asked.
"If this shit is going to keep happening, I need the protection of a hero license, whether I ever go pro or not. I'm already committed to UA – unless they decide to expel me. Working for Ando gives me top cover I really need. This is the quickest way to get that license – and helping you and the others get legal is a pretty big bonus. For now, it looks like a good idea."
"But it gets you further involved with the underworld."
"Not necessarily. HPSC basically wants me as bait. I pretty much continue as I have – going to school and being seen in Mosuaizuri. It's not like the Triad or Giran are likely to just ignore me after this. They were interested before. Now they have to do something, if only to save face. Unless I'm willing to just run away and hide – which I don't think would work, so it's really not a consideration – they are coming after me. Getting my license, and you yours, increases our options."
"Alright, you've thought this through. I'll set up the meeting. You get some sleep. You look like shit." He smiled as he walked out the door. I locked it behind him.
Friday was the last day of the internship week. Kan-sensei sent an email to let me know that he expected me to take the day to recover from my injuries, but he wanted a full report of my actions, thoughts, decisions, and lessons learned on Monday when I returned to class. He also let me know that I would be joining Iida, Midoriya, and Todoroki for a forty-eight hour weekend detention with Hound Dog the following weekend – missing Saturday's planned return to the USJ that Classes 1-A and 1-B were doing together.
I was disappointed. It would have been interesting to see the massive classroom and working with the other students on rescue operations. That was the nature of punishment – taking away something we wanted.
Jin arranged to meet with the others in an abandoned warehouse near the old train station. The station had closed down five years ago and many of the businesses around it that relied on the freight or passenger services went under.
"Thanks for coming," I began. "As a result of what happened in Hosu City, the HPSC has made the four of us an offer." I paused, expecting some reaction. The others just looked at me patiently. "They want us to work for them as confidential informants, reporting on the activities in Mosuaizuri – the Nine Head Dragon, the Face Border Clan, the Ravagers, and any other villains. But also to report on Slid'n Go and any other heroes of dubious honesty. To make us more effective and offer us some protection from other law enforcement organizations – they are offering us all provisional hero licenses."
"What?" Spinner asked. "Real licenses? Without the exam? Is that possible?"
"I'm told they've done it before," I said. Ando had mentioned a popular pro hero the HPSC had raised and trained from childhood, without ever suggesting a name. He even offered to let me go that route if I wanted. I declined. Too many strings. Too much like the Wards.
I continued, "Is this something that interests you? Some things to consider – you would need to give them your real name and they would check for outstanding warrants. I've been told unless the crimes are very serious it is likely that they can offer some sort of immunity if you act as an informant. I cannot promise that. If my source is lying, then giving them your real name may make it easier from them to hunt you down. It's a risk."
"Before we go any further, there is something I think you need to know," Nightwing said. He reached up and removed his mask, showing a scaled and fanged face with a stretched-out nose and slightly elongated jawline. His form rippled. The scales retreated and his face reformed. A few seconds later my classmate Rin Hiryu was standing before me. He offered a little wave and a shy smile.
"Rin?" I asked in confirmation. He nodded. "I wonder how many other first years are living double lives?"
"I cannot say," he replied, sounding like the boy in my class. I hadn't realized how much his reshaped mouth had distorted his voice. "Do you think they will accept this?"
"Probably," I replied, "But it will give the HPSC another handle on you and they will inform the UA Principal.
"Will they help me fight the Nine Head Dragon?" He questioned earnestly. "I did not come to Japan to be a vigilante. I just could not leave the hunt for my family's slayer until I was licensed. If they will help me find justice for my family, I will gladly join them."
I thought he would gladly join anyone that would make that promise, even another villain group. Channeling that drive into a safe(ish) partnership might be better for him than leaving him on his own. "The Nine Head Dragon was specifically mentioned as a target." I assured him. He sat back in thoughtful silence.
"But I didn't go to a hero academy," Spinner argued. "And I'm too old to go back to school."
"They didn't mention you needing school," I replied. "Basically, this is a badge so you can legally do undercover hero work – without being a full hero. Though it might lead to that."
"I'm in," Jin said. "If Yanagi is, that is. She shouldn't do this alone."
"Me too," Spinner added quickly, sitting up straighter.
"And I," Rin agreed.
"Alright," I said. "I'll let my contact know and see how we proceed from here. Send me your real name and ID number so they can check your background. They already have mine." The others quickly complied.
For better or worse, we were doing this.
The return to school on Monday was very odd. It was like trying to fit back into winter clothes you had outgrown during the summer. I was more comfortable in a deadly fight than in a classroom full of fifteen-year-olds, I thought.
Such a sentiment is truly saddening. We must work to find you a place in this world where you achieve peace and satisfaction. Emily replied.
They're all staring at me like I'm going to attack them if they get too near me.
They would not have to get near you for you to attack them. You have proven yourself quite dangerous at a distance as well.
You're teasing me about this?
I thought it the appropriate response to your whining.
That stopped me short. I looked back at what I had been thinking, how I had been acting. Was I projecting my own doubts about my actions and interpreting the behavior of the other students in the worst possible way? All because I was feeling sorry for myself and expecting them to treat me like I was treated in Winslow? That's ridiculous.
It certainly is. So stop doing it and at least consider other possible explanations for your peers' – or if you want to be accurate, my peers'– fascination with you. And realize this is not a new phenomenon. We have seen it in this same room before.
The media coverage. I grumped. I hadn't shared my videos from the collar cam and the drone with Tokuda, only with the police. Unfortunately, there were enough other cameras out there that very little of the action from that night was not available somewhere on the net. My capture of Stain was getting the most attention, though Endeavor was being credited with his initial take down. I would have been very happy if he had taken the credit for my work as well. He was reminding me more and more of Colin. I can't imagine what being his son must be like. No wonder Todoroki displayed the emotional depth of a teaspoon.
Yeah, yeah. You made your point. And like always, I'll just have to put up with being a zoo exhibit, I thought.
Or you could use it to your advantage. You had been talking about helping the students with their self-defense and quirk training. Perhaps you might leverage your current notoriety to bring together some of the student leaders to hammer out a plan that meets the immediate needs.
That'll probably require faculty approval.
Then it is fortuitous that you are about to spend significant time with the school counselor, who is responsible for the well-being of all UA students, in a milieu that allows you to convince him you are responsible and aware of the consequences of illegal quirk usage.
Why are you pushing this so hard?
You need to help people. You want to feel needed. This is a way you can do both without resorting to the violence that, while you are demonstrable expert at, grinds at your serenity and self-image. Perhaps this will be the penance you need to forgive yourself.
Damn, you're on a roll today. Ok. I'll try.
I am relieved. The stench of self-loathing was getting overpowering in here.
I decided to let her have the last word and went to catch up with Shoda and Kodai.
"Everyone gather round," All Might said, obviously trying to whisper, but not quite managing it. The afternoon class was in Ground Delta, which simulated a port area. There was a five-acre ocean, several piers with various ships docked, warehouses, containers, cranes, offices, streets and parking lots, even a tourist area with restaurants, shops, a fountain, and a tall ship. Given Japan was an island nation there were a lot of places that looked like this in which the students might find themselves. For me, it brought up so many memories from childhood and my time as Skitter – though the training area was a lot cleaner than most of Brockton Bay.
The class was gathered on the roof of a building. The weather was nice and a large tent offered shade. Chairs were laid out and a large screen was mounted on a stand. The view in all directions was impressive. I once again goggled at the budget this school must have.
"Today, and for the rest of the week, we are going to be working on team battles. We're going to split the class into four teams of five. This assignment will be random to reflect the fact that heroes often have to work with whoever is available to face a crisis. You will stay in the same team all week, to reflect the improved teamwork that established agency teams develop. You'll be facing various challenges – including team on team fights, shipboard operations, and large threats from the sea. Any questions so far?"
He waited. The class had discovered that questions – especially unanticipated one – could fluster the neophyte teacher. We had learned that he would usually cover everything important, if we just let him roll it out at his own pace. He was a peerless hero and a genuinely nice man, but only a so-so teacher.
Seeing no questions, he continued. "This will culminate in the USJ rescue exercises this Saturday. In the USJ, you'll be assigned to new teams that may, or rather will include members from Class 1-A as well. We'll get more into that later in the week. For now, I want to select the teams."
He pointed to a screen on the wall and pressed a virtual button on his tablet. Little cubes with our faces rolled around on the screen like twenty dice. Within seconds, they ended up separated into the four teams.
Either the computer hated me, or the selection wasn't really random and this was part of my ongoing punishment from the Principal. I had no doubts he could rig the selection. I ended up on a team with Awase, Kamakiri, Juzo, and Monoma. All of my favorite classmates. Actually, Juzo was ok. I was worried about the others. My teammates of choice – Rin, Shoda, and Kodai – were each on separate teams.
This was going to be a great week.
"The first task will be a surprise encounter in close quarters. Each team will enter one end of that warehouse at the same time." He pointed to a building across the parking lot from the building we were on. "You know your opposition is in the warehouse somewhere. Your task is to defeat or capture all of the opposition team before they do the same to you. You can choose to stop and discuss strategy, but the opposition may be closing in on you while you do. Do you understand?"
Everyone nodded.
"Alright Team 2, go in that entrance." He pointed to the north entrance. "Team 4, go in the other. Start now. No contact until you are in the building. GO!"
Team 2 was Kuroiro, Shishida, Pony, Tokage, and Rin. Pony grabbed Rin and Tokage grabbed Shishida then flew over the parking lot to their entrance. Kuroiro just vanished into the shadow of the tent.
My team all headed for the stairs. I followed. My plan was to hang back and observe. I didn't know how these guys would work together and thought they needed to learn to do so without my taking over. Given the opportunity, I would offer advice and suggestions. If one of them successfully claimed the leader role, I would follow his orders. I wanted to see how this would work out on its own.
My team was a powerful group with some specialist and some generalist versus a bunch of generalists. The two recommendation students were split between the teams, as were the two vigilantes – unbeknownst to the others. I knew Rin was holding back – showing only a portion of his power. I was doing the same, though not in the same way. I thought the initial encounter could go either way. It would depend on personalities and teamwork more than anything.
When we made it to the specified entrance, I was happy to see none of the guys were winded from the sprint.
"Hold up," Awase ordered before we opened the door. "I wanted to plan …"
"No talking until you are inside." All Might's voice came to us over the speakers as well as in our earbuds.
"Damn!" the boy with the headscarf cursed.
"No cursing either, Awase-shonen. Not even in the warehouse." You could hear the laughter of the rest of the class in the background. Awase's face turned red.
Kamakiri snatched the door open and rushed in. Monoma followed, brushing against Awase and Juzo on the way. When he reached for me, I decided to let him touch me. I had been avoiding his attempts to copy my power all term, but now I was curious to see what would happen.
"So, what did happen?" Yuyu asked. She had texted me an invite to meet after school. I suggested my favorite tea shop – someplace I'd not had the opportunity to visit for almost two weeks. I was in no hurry to head back to Mosuaizuri. We were relaxing over tea and cakes as I told her the story of the team battle.
"You know how most people think my quirk is telekinesis, with a little pyrokinesis thrown in for flavor. It's really not that at all. I named it Poltergeist for a reason. Monoma got my quirk – including my altered senses. It hit him like a hallucinogenic drug. And he spent the next ten minutes tripping with the spirits. He couldn't even gather his thoughts enough to switch the quirk to one of the others'."
Yuyu giggled. "No."
I nodded smiling and continued. "Juzo and I stuck with him while Awase and Kamakiri each tried to solo the other team. Both got their clocks cleaned before All Might called it. I didn't even get to see the other fight. The teacher made me accompany Monoma to the nurse's office. He was physically fine after the quirk timed out, but his mind had been expanded in a way he was not prepared for. Ah, well. We'll do better tomorrow."
"And that's what you see all the time?" Her face was thoughtful.
"More or less, but I'm used to it. I have trouble imagining looking at the world and not seeing the spirits."
"Huh," She sipped her coffee. I nibbled on a carrot cake. The comfortable silence stretched for a minute. "Nope. Can't picture it. And since I can't copy quirks, I guess I'll have to live without."
"So were third years doing internships last week too?" I asked.
"No, we have longer work-studies that we go to several times during the year. But last week wasn't one of them."
We settled into quiet again. Finally, the older girl brought up what I had been expecting since I got the invitation. "Your internship was rough, far rougher than it should have been. Arguably rougher than anyone else's. How are you doing?"
"I hate to say it, but I'm almost getting used to being thrown into these horrible situations where I have to fight for my life, or the lives of others."
"But this time …" She couldn't finish. Yuyu came across as a bit of a rebel, with her cropped hair and piercings. But she was still innocent in some ways. I seriously doubted she had ever had to make a real life-or-death decision – not yet at least.
"This time people died," I said for her. "It's possible, probable even, that I killed one – if you can call a Nomu a person. I used that force which I deemed necessary to survive and ensure the survival of others." My tone was formal. "I tried everything else I could think of. None of it worked against either Volcano or the drugged up Nomu."
"Why didn't you run? That's what you're supposed to do until you get your license. Even pro heroes run when they can't win. When it comes down to it – it's just a job. For most people at least. And people don't die for their jobs, or kill for them."
"It's not just a job, it's an adventure." It was an old slogan of the military, one that had become a punchline. My parents used to joke about it on occasion. I understood it better now.
"What?"
"There are a lot of people who do die for their jobs, from fire fighters to soldiers to doctors and nurses. Some that kill for their job as well – the unlucky ones. What I said about heroes – being willing to take risks and endure pain, even death, to help people. That's not confined to pro heroes or vigilantes or even people with quirks. There are a lot of heroes in the world. They're not always the lucky ones, just the ones that stick around and get the job done – or die trying."
She looked at me confused. I smiled and put my hand on hers.
"I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. Just that I couldn't run. It's not really in me, not like that. I'd be leaving others to fight and die in my place. I had to stick around and get the job done."
"At what price to you?" She was almost in tears.
"This time?" I smiled reassuringly. "It wasn't so bad. Bad dreams. Recriminations and second thoughts. Not to mention trouble with the police and the Principal. Still, I managed to save some lives and stopped the bad guys from getting away and hurting more people. That's probably worth the price."
"You really don't see heroing as a job." Her confusion was evident.
"It can be. But it probably never will be just a job for me. I'll tell you something. I'm not sure I ever want to be a pro hero. Since I probably won't be able to just walk away when people need help, and I don't want to get in more trouble with the police, I'm going to get my hero license. That way when trouble does land on my head again, I won't be the one going to jail."
Yuyu laughed. "A license just to keep out of trouble."
"To keep out of jail. I doubt I'll ever be able to keep out of trouble."