Chapter 17: Chapter 1.16 (Trouble in Paradise)
Summary:
Minor content warning, probably not enough to alter tags around, but there's a reference to past sexual assault.
No details, but might want to skim if that'd tank your mood anyway.
Chapter Text
MON FEB 21
As I jogged to school, I realized how tired I was getting, of keeping an eye out for Emma and Sophia. Even if they tracked me down, what were they going to do? They were just normal people, and as dad said last night, I could just... leave. Retreat. Run away. They weren't a part of my life anymore, and I didn't have to entertain their sick notions that I was part of theirs.
I still kept vigilant, though. Because it was a good habit to get into.
After my shower, I found Amy in the cafeteria again. In what was becoming a morning ritual for us, I grabbed a small second breakfast and made my way over. "Your mom still giving you trouble?"
She scoffed into her corn flakes. "Carol's being a bit much, yeah."
"Anything I can do to help?" I asked as I handed over a banana.
She eyed the fruit warily as she contemplated her personal problems. "Maybe. She doesn't like you, but... I don't know what'd help."
Maybe some patrols with New Wave? "I dunno, we'll think of something."
She hummed and abandoned her mostly-empty bowl to peel her fruit.
"By the way..." I said, as I saw her taking a bite. "It is a dick joke, today."
She choked on her phallic fruitstick, then started coughing and sputtering before she growled "Betch!" through her rapidly-unfilling mouth. Try as she might, she couldn't fight the smile off her face.
I chuckled as I started on my food. Today felt like it was going to be a good day.
---
I was heading to lunch, scanning the school as was becoming habit now, mostly checking for Kara and Amy. My sweep found something surprising though. I stopped and stepped out of the flowing crowd to ponder it. Up on the third floor, in the Senior classrooms, I saw a familiar figure unpacking her lunch. A gaggle of girls and a couple boys stuck around to chat, but even now I could see them splitting off and heading down to lunch. I guess this explained why I'd never seen Tracy in the cafeteria, but it seemed weird to me that she'd be eating in the classroom. Was that even allowed?
My thoughts rumbled through my head, wondering if this was normal, if I should say something, do something, or even care. In the end, I headed to the lunch room and got in line while I kept an eye on her. Kara was sitting with Amy and Vicky, so I did kind of want to avoid their table for today...
Mind made up, I waited until all the adults in the room were looking away before I snuck out into the halls with my tray. I didn't think it was against the rules, but I was feeling paranoid, and it didn't take much additional time or effort to be sneaky about it. By the time I did that, Tracy was sitting alone in the classroom. Something about it felt oddly familiar, and I sped my walking to get there sooner.
When I got there, she blinked owlishly at me as I opened the door, and quickly swallowed the bite of sandwich she'd been chewing. "Oh. Hello, Taylor." She said, glancing down at my tray, then surreptitiously around the room without moving her head, then glanced down at her own food before looking back toward the door and giving me a once-over. All of this took barely three seconds. "Did you need something?"
"Not really, I just..." Dammit, now I needed a reason to have come looking for her! "...didn't see you at lunch, and asked around to see if you were okay?"
"Oh, that's very kind of you. I'm perfectly fine, though." She lied with a smile.
I didn't want to just leave it at that, so I asked, "Do you mind if I sit with you?"
She pondered the question for a moment, before she nodded. "Sure, if you don't mind my company."
"Why would I mind?" I asked as I strode to the seat next to hers.
"Oh, no reason, I don't know why I said it." She demurred, without my senses I'd have no idea she was lying again.
Part of me wanted to ask if she was okay, again, but that would be stupid. She'd just answer the same way. Still, I did want to get to the bottom of things... "You're on the basketball team, right?"
Her smile didn't fade, but I could feel her mood fluctuate darkly. "Yes?"
"You like being on the team?" I hedged.
Her smile faded a bit, and her eyes twitched down. "I do." Another lie. "The competitions can be fun, and my teammates are all very friendly." It felt... muddled? She wasn't lying, but something about what she said was still off.
"Are you thinking of playing professionally?" I knew women's sports weren't as lucrative as men's, but pro leagues for female teams were a thing.
"That's the plan." She chuckled, a slight edge of nerves cutting into her voice. "At least long enough to get through university." It was muddled again. Even if it was the plan, I don't think she liked the plan.
"I didn't think you'd need a sports scholarship, with your grades."
Her smile was brittle as she chuckled. "It is double-dipping a bit, isn't it?" She felt nervous, and I couldn't figure out why. "There's no reason I can't be athletic and intelligent, though." Another confusing lie.
We faded into silence after that, digging in to our lunches. I wasn't sure where to go from here, but I couldn't help if I had no idea what was wrong. A few minutes later, her mood started fluctuating again, and I caught her trying to say something, and stopping short.
"Yes?" I asked, and she shied away. "It's okay, what were you going to say?"
She flinched. "Are... you jealous?"
"What?" Seriously, what? "Not really, no. I don't really like sports, but I'm plenty athletic, and my grades are terrible, but that's because I've been stuck at Winslow," With those fucking bitches, "for the past couple years. I'm catching up, now." I was pretty content with how my life was going now. "Is that what you've been worried about?"
She shuffled a bit, fidgeting in her seat. "I'm… they…" She took a deeper breath and let it out slowly. "People tend to put me on a pedestal, for better or worse."
I had to stop and wonder what that would be like. I'd been slightly above average all my life before Winslow, but up at the top? Basically undisputed? "I'm sorry." I said, trying to sound contrite. "You must be under a lot of stress."
"Oh no," she chuckled, "it's fine. I'm fine." More lies. "You don't have to worry about me." That part, at least, she seemed to believe.
"Well, if you ever do think you need help... you can always call me."
She smiled. "Thank you." It was heartfelt, but I think we both knew she wasn't going to. Maybe she didn't know me well enough yet, or couldn't think of how I might help, but the offer was out there.
I dug my phone out of my pocket and tapped through my contacts. I asked her if she was the 'Tracy S.' I had listed, and she confirmed it. I sent her a 'This is Taylor, now you have my number' text, and we settled down to a fairly companionable silence until I asked about basketball games.
She gave a quick story of some of her experiences with home and away games, and then asked me about some of the training I did. I told her about dad's co-workers teaching me a lot, and she actually seemed fairly interested, asking a few questions as I summed up the who and what, there.
Eventually though, the bell rang and I said goodbye, before rushing back to the cafeteria to turn in my tray before classes started back up.
---
Amy and I decided we were past due for another trip to Tukson's. The bus rides were short, and while we were on them, I sent dad a text that we were going to be at a bookstore today, more to get back into the habit of keeping him in the loop than because he'd really care. I wasn't training, and I was spending time with a friend. He'd be happy I was spending the day almost anywhere, given those facts.
Tukson himself was reading at the front desk again, when we came in. I thought I caught something about 'ninjas' in the title before he noticed us and snapped it shut, setting it down behind the counter. "Tea room?" He asked as he stood.
"Is it open?" I asked. We'd already started following him upstairs.
He gave a rueful chuckle and said, "Sure is, girls." He let us into the room, and left to get our usual tea. We sat ourselves down, and Amy dug out her phone. I debated waiting for the tea before asking, but decided I might as well start now.
"Sooo… How's Kara?" I hadn't spoken to Amy since this morning, and I was curious.
She smirked and glanced over. "Sweating bullets. What'd you do?"
I shrugged. "Scheduled our 'make-up' get-together for tomorrow, and avoided her since then."
The chuckle Amy let out was positively evil. "Oh yeah, that'd do it. She's good people, but sometimes earns herself a kick in the ovaries. Love watching people collect on that."
My mind blanked in mild horror for a moment, before I schooled myself into mock surprise, holding my hand up to my mouth before I spoke. "My word, Amy! I didn't know you were that sort of girl."
She grinned, not bothering to look up from her phone. "A voyeur, or a sadist? 'Cause my power don't work on whips."
My face broke out in a massive blush, and I regretted not waiting for the tea. I'd love to have something to hide behind, right now.
Of course, that's when Tukson knocked on the door. Amy cheerily called for him to come in, while I mewled in displeasure and covered my face with my hands.
Even with my eyes covered, I could tell his eyebrow quirked up. "Am I interrupting something?"
Amy smirked at me, as if asking me if there was anything wrong. After a second, I realized she wasn't going to answer, and mumbled "No, everything's fine." against my palms.
Tukson smothered a chuckle and set the tea down on the table. I felt him wink at Amy as he pulled away, which set her to blushing, too. Her heartrate sped up and she huffed at him. Not so fun when it's you the fun's poked at, is it Amy?
I stuck my tongue out at her and she looked away, grumbling. Even if he probably knew I was a cape, I still waited until he was halfway to the stairs after shutting the door to change the subject. "So, I was thinking about your mom, and... Vicky."
Amy made a curious noise, then perked up in realization. "You don't have to tell my sister just because Carol'd be a little less of a bitch."
I choked down the immediate denial, instead taking a moment to properly formulate it. "That's what got me thinking about it, but it's not the main reason I'm considering it." I poured our tea while I thought about it. "Vicky's my friend too. I want to tell her, it'd be nice to have more people that get it that I can talk to. I just... wanted to get your opinion, first." Her heart sped up slightly as she watched the steam waft off her cup. "You were my friend first, and you know her better than I do."
Her face flushed a little as I watched her think. "Well, she's not likely to tell anyone else. She tells me everything because she knows I'm a steel trap and likes to vent sometimes." She was hesitant, a little unsure. She glanced up and caught the hard look I was aiming her way. "Well, if we ask her not to tell Dean, anyway." Her stomach flipped speaking about him, but otherwise her body'd leveled out into seeming entirely truthful.
"You think she'd tell him secret identities unless asked not to?" Amy puffed up a little indignantly, but glanced away. "Amy..."
"We're not the only capes at Arcadia." Amy said quickly, almost snapping. She paused for a beat before continuing. "It's no secret the Wards go, but it's not just them, either. Vicky knows who the Wards are, and at least one other cape. She knows, so I know, and Dean knows..." I could sense a strong 'but' she couldn't bring herself to finish. Something about what she'd said didn't sit right, and I was sure there was something I was missing. After a few seconds thinking about it, I decided I wasn't going to figure it out right now. I could always unpack it later. It hurt a bit, that Amy wasn't just telling me, but that I knew I could attribute to those control-freak tendencies that kept cropping up recently. It wasn't fair to demand she spill secrets that, were they mine, I'd also demand she keep.
I heaved out a sigh. "But you're sure she won't say anything, if we told her not to?"
Amy nodded. "Yeah." She was telling the truth, as far as I could tell. "Vicky's a good person, she's just..."
I smirked. "Wired differently than us introverts?"
She scoffed. "Was going to say 'weirdly naiive about some things' but that works, too." She drew in a slow breath and held it for a second. "But, if you want to, I think... you should tell her."
I took a deep breath in thought, hiding it as sniffing my tea. I took a sip and started thinking out loud. "I do want more friends I can talk to about cape stuff, and I feel weird that she's the only person in your family that doesn't know, despite being my friend." Immediate family, anyway. "I think… I should tell her, yeah."
After that, we changed the subject to meditating. I was starting to run out of things to teach her, so I decided to tell her about my 'chi' feelings and see if she could find and manipulate something similar. We spent a few hours on it, and she just wound up frustrated with it. It seemed our powers were too different for that to carry over. We spent the rest of our time calming down with regular mental exercises, then split up to head home.
---
TUE FEB 22
I woke up to a couple of frantic texts from Amy, asking me to meet her at school as soon as possible. Given that, I skipped my morning workout and pre-school breakfast, and headed straight for the door. I considered going all-out to get there faster, but figured it was a bad idea. I sent her a text saying I'd be there in half an hour to an hour, and jogged normally.
It'd been sprinkling a bit again, and wanting to meet up with Amy, I didn't have the benefit of heading right to the showers after getting in. Instead, I popped into a bathroom stall and pulled the water out of my clothes, flushing it down the toilet and leaving when I was sure no one who'd seen me enter wet was around to notice I was dry now. I double-checked my phone, and made my way to the classroom Amy said to meet her at.
"Taylor!" She cheered as I came in. She hopped to her feet and made her way over, vibrating with excitement despite the dark bags under her eyes. I didn't think she'd slept last night.
"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly, looking her over with my eyes and senses. She seemed fine, aside from the lack of sleep.
"I'm great!" She sang. Was she on drugs? I should check her for drugs. "My powers are better! They're doing... they're letting..." She chattered half-formed sentences for a couple seconds, and I stopped her when she came too close, by softly grabbing her shoulders.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I had no idea what to look for, for drugs. All the signs on her face could be explained by not sleeping, and she didn't seem hurt. I wasn't sure if my senses were fine enough to detect track marks from needles, but if they were, she didn't have any.
She nodded excitedly, and I let my hands drop. "Better than that." She took my hands with hers and grinned. "I can touch you!" Her heart was racing, and her cheeks started reddening after she'd said it.
"Yeah?" I drew the word out over a couple seconds, trying to figure out what was wrong.
"I can't see you!" She cheered with that unsettlingly wide smile. "Can't feel you! Can't... well I can, but..." She trailed off, muttering. "I can... I can..." Her eyes flicked up to meet mine, and she pulled my hands down with hers, causing me to lean forward. Then she stretched up slightly until her lips met mine.
My heart stopped, and my brain short-circuited. When the sharp, alarming confusion locking up my thoughts began to fade, I couldn't help but think it felt... nice. She smelled nice, and her lips were soft... but a bit dry. I could feel the ridge of a small crack in her lips against my own. A clinical part of my brain wondered if I should offer her some water, if she was dehydrated, and then blood rushed to my face as the thought spiraled into considering deepening the kiss, and I pulled away.
"Amy? What?" I snapped, shaking my head. My thoughts were starting to haze up again, probably from the nuclear blush I was sporting.
"I..." Her grin dropped abruptly, her face paling as she hopped backwards and dropped my hands like I'd shocked her. "I'm sorry. I just..."
She'd started hyperventilating. "Stop. Breathe." I held up my hands and took several breaths myself, encouraging her to do the same. I probably needed them, honestly. "I'm not mad, just... what the fuck, Amy?"
"I'm sorry." She said quickly. "I just..." She looked like she was going to start hyperventilating again, so I heaved a quick, loud deep breath to remind her not to. She took a deeper breath of her own and continued. "I don't see you with my power, when I touch you." She bit her lip and glanced to the side, obviously thinking hard, but didn't seem like she was trying to lie. "My powers got weird last night, when I came home and started meditating more. I figured out what'd happened when touching Vicky didn't do anything..." She blushed a bit, but I didn't press. "I checked with Mark and Carol, too. I can just... turn it off now."
I let out a hum of realization. She'd hinted pretty hard that her interactions with other people were hindered by her powers never turning off, which meant things like relationships were almost impossible. I could feel she was emotional, and knew she had been since before I'd gotten to the room. I also knew she was gay, and I was a girl... She'd gotten too excited to contain herself anymore, with how new and life-changing this development was. That made perfect sense.
It had nothing to do with her maybe liking me, I was sure.
Nobody liked me that way. They couldn't. I wasn't pretty or likable enough.
I nodded to myself. The world made sense, again.
"That's great. I can see why you were excited." I gave her a soft disarming smile, and all of the energy seemed to slowly drain out of her. She was getting sad, and I had no idea why. "Hey, are you okay? This is a good thing, right?" I thought for a second. "Oh no, you still have your powers, right?" She hadn't mentioned turning her touch powers back on, yet. Maybe that's what was going on?
"Oh." She muttered softly. She shook her head, and I wondered if we were talking about the same thing, anymore. "No, I can turn it back on. It's fine."
She was definitely not fine. "It's okay. It'll be okay." I muttered as I closed the distance. She pulled away slightly, but didn't fight the loose hug I pulled her into. "Hey, you're not busy Wednesday, right?" She looked at me, confused, and shook her head. "Well we can hang out, see what's changed. Do some power testing. That'd be good, right?"
She was a mass of conflicting emotions I couldn't make sense of, but she gripped me a little tighter, and nodded. "Yeah. That sounds good."
Amy wasn't okay, but she wasn't spiraling into what looked startlingly like depression, anymore. I'll take it. "I need a shower. Meet you at breakfast?"
She nodded, and I let her go. I kept a figurative eye on her while I headed to the locker rooms, and she seemed to be doing okay. A few minutes for a quick shower, and I made my way up to where she was picking at her food. I got more than usual to eat, because I'd skipped food at home, but still gave Amy an apple when I sat down, which got a small smile out of her. We talked about assignments until the bells started ringing, and split off to our classes.
---
When lunch came around, I made my way to the cafeteria. It'd probably be weird to try talking to Tracy again so soon, so I decided to stay for lunch today. After getting my food, I made my way closer to Vicky's table, and stopped when I met Amy's eyes across the room. Her heart skipped, and she glanced away. It hurt a little bit, but I'd been hovering recently... maybe she needed space. Add in that Kara was sitting with them and I was still feeling a little petty about the last time we'd interacted...
I looked around, scanning the room. I spotted Cassie at her usual table, and I let out a relieved sigh. She was coming to school again, which had to be a good thing. I set my food down for a second, and sent her a text. 'Want to hang out for lunch?'
She checked her phone a couple seconds later, and started looking around the room. When she caught sight of me, I gave a little wave. She froze for a couple seconds, and I could feel the conflict in her emotions, though I had no idea what'd caused it. It'd settled down moments later though, and she seemed to come to a decision. She made her excuses to leave, and picked up the lunch she hadn't even started eating yet.
I met her across the room, at a table with just one older boy who was studying while eating. He glanced up and proceeded to ignore us in favor of his book. It would've been nice to talk outside, but it was still wet out, even if the rain wasn't as bad as this morning.
"Good to see you're okay. I was worried." Her heartrate picked up a little, and some other signs pointed to her appreciating the sentiment, even as she made a noise to that effect. "Do you want..." I paused, feeling her mood drop a bit, and aborted asking about her family. "...any help catching up on assignments?"
"Nah," She said, smiling a little. "My grades are pretty good, I can take the hit. Thanks, though."
Yeah, I wouldn't want my family's dirty laundry aired in public either, now that I thought about it. Thinking quickly, I dug my phone out before the silence could get awkward, and started typing away. "Good to hear, still. Offer's there." Knowing I had to keep talking or she might think I was being pushy, I grabbed for the only big thing I had on my civilian schedule. "Hey, I know you don't do sports, but you're still active. Ever do martial arts stuff?" Typing while talking was slower, and I'd lowered my phone to my lap to look like I'd already sent the message, so when I hit send after I finished talking, I hoped it looked like I wasn't sending it to her.
Her phone dinged, and she dug it out. I knew what it said. 'Family stuff?'
She frowned and tapped a couple keys. My phone beeped at me, but I ignored it while she answered. "Yeah, little bit. Why?"
I shrugged. "Just wondering if you might want to drop by to the practice I'm doing at the gym on Fridays, now." That said, I looked at my phone. Just normal girls doing normal girl things, having two or three conversations at once with entirely different people because phones. Yup.
...I felt like a dork, hoping I looked normal as hard as I was.
Her answer was a simple 'Y'. I started typing.
"I think I heard about that. You sure I'd be welcome?" I fumbled a little, considering it. Kara's group were pretty firmly anti-Empire in particular, weren't they? And they probably knew Cass was at least sort of part of that... shit.
"Yeah, I don't think anyone would mind too much, especially if I said something." 'Wanna talk about it?' Send.
"Seems like asking for trouble..." She muttered, ignoring her phone for a bit before answering. She seemed to catch on to what I'm doing, since she pretended to send her message, then held her phone under the table for a bit before actually sending it.
"Well, Serei was there last time, and you get along with her, right?"
She bit her lip, and seemed to be considering our mutual Asian acquaintance. "I'll think about it." She said, and when that topic seemed dropped, I checked my phone. 'N', she'd sent.
"Well, how was your weekend besides... all that." I asked, hoping to keep her engaged.
She talked about watching shows and movies, and I lied about reading books. We ate while we swapped recommendations, until her phone dinged again. She checked it and sighed, finishing up her food before getting up. "I've gotta run. Talk to you later?" She asked, and I gave her a little wave in response. I dug out my phone as she walked back over to her old table, and typed out another message.
'Well, if you ever DO want to talk, I'm here for you.'
I finished the rest of my food, kicking my feet up and crossing my legs, so my feet weren't touching the linoleum directly anymore. I really didn't want to watch Cass until she replied, which was what'd happen if I didn't. Felt hovery and stalkerish, even if she'd never know.
Food done, I hopped up to drop my tray off. Cassie had already left, it seemed. So I made my way out and headed towards my next class.
Before the repeaters switched off, I got one last text. 'Thanks.' I smiled, feeling better about her situation now that I'd put myself out there for her. I was kind of hoping she did drop by on Friday. It'd be nice to have more reasons to hang out.
---
Kara had wanted to meet up at a little coffee shop near the Boardwalk, and I'd succinctly responded that I'd be there. At the time I'd wanted to make her sweat, but now it felt a little mean. I beat her there, and I wondered if this was to make me feel more comfortable. Let me scope the place out, pick where to sit, be the one already seated and in control when she showed up. If it was, it was working, at least a little.
When she did show up, she wasn't alone. Two of the girls from Friday were with her. A slightly larger girl a couple inches shorter than me with blue hair, and a thin girl an inch shorter than her with bright yellow hair. Julia and Stephanie, I thought. They made their way over to the booth I'd picked for being out of the way and more private, stopping well within earshot, but far enough to not seem encroaching on my space or hemming me in.
"Thanks, you two. Have fun on your date!" Kara said to the others. Stephanie smiled brightly and started for the door with a wave, while Julia eyed me warily for a second before nodding and following.
Kara smiled at their retreating backs until they made it to the door, then turned her grin on me as she finished the trek to sit opposite me in the booth. "Well, while they're out painting the town green... how have you been?"
It took my brain a moment to parse the incorrect reference, after which I felt my face heating at the implications of what I realized was a double-entendre. "I've been fine." I said, perhaps too quickly.
"It's okay to not be okay." She said with a wry smirk and pleading eyes.
I sighed, gave the question some actual thought, and answered again. "I've been okay, just... busy."
"Good busy, or stressful busy?" Her smirk drooped a bit, her tone slightly more serious.
I shrugged. "Bit of both?"
She pondered that for a second before she nodded, and stood back up. "You want anything?" She asked, waving slightly over toward the counter.
Tea didn't sound very good, and I wasn't sure how well this place did there, anyway. Straight-up coffee was gross, but I wouldn't mind it if it wasn't black. "Something chocolate?"
She hummed and tapped her chin a couple times. "Regular milk, or soy?"
I shrugged. "Regular's fine."
She nodded and strode up to the counter. I heard her order a couple of mocha lattes, and waited while she paid and came back over.
We sat in steadily less comfortable silence, until she broke first. "I'm sorry." She said earnestly, and honestly. "I said some pretty shitty things, and not thinking they'd actually hurt you doesn't make it not shitty." She took a deep breath. "I already said I'd stop flirting with you, and you can ask me anything you want to know about me. Is there anything else I can do to make it up to you?"
I glanced away. I couldn't think of anything I wanted from her. It's not like she had resources I needed, or contacts she hadn't already stuck in my phone, or people she wasn't already trying to introduce me to through our Friday practice. Trying to demand things she might have left a bad taste in my mouth. "Why are you so..." I lifted my hands, trying to be polite, but then giving up and indicating all of her. "You?"
She briefly looked like she was sucking on a lemon. "Someone has to be." Her look transitioned into a pout, and she pinned me with her wide, wet gaze. "Are you sure you wanna know?" She half-whined. "It's kind of a long story."
I raised an eyebrow imperiously, as if daring her to deny she'd offered up anything.
Kara sighed, then shrugged and shook her head. "Well, alright." The raised hands from her wide shrug landed on the table, where one started tapping fingers, and she clicked her tongue while staring off into the distance off to my side. "I was always a big girl." She started finally, "Not fat, just... older than everyone else, and an early bloomer on top of that. Classmates always treated me like I was hot shit, because I was smart, and bigger than them. The teachers listened to me more, because I was closer to being like them, and people pick up on that." She shook her head and sighed. "Sure I got picked on, but not any more than anyone else. I was pretty, decently popular, and bigger than the boys. I wasn't messed with often."
She licked her lips and paused, stalling until her name was called with our order. She got up to collect it, and set our drinks between us before flopping back into her seat.
She spun her cup slowly on the table, watching the steam rise off of it. "Kids grow up, though." I could tell she was irritated. Getting angry, feeling sick. Hiding it well. "Some better than others." She sucked on her tongue, and kept spinning her cup, keeping her hands busy. "Some faster than others. I got all the attention, got boobs first, had hips first, beat most of the girls a year up to it." She tilted her head and took another slow breath, still not looking at me. I had a sinking feeling about where this story was going. "Stayed popular, got all the attention. Boys started paying attention. Got interested in things." She shrugged. "Bunch of boys took an interest, didn't take no for an answer, and..." She sighed, taking a pull from her drink. It clicked back down on the table louder than expected. "They went to juvie. They're out now, but... that's my problem, not yours."
"I'm sorry." I wasn't sure what else to say. I didn't think they let people out that fast for that sort of thing, but they were kids, and I didn't know the system very well regardless.
She waved me off with a fake smile. "Don't be, that wasn't the point." She took another sip of her coffee, and I decided to try mine. It wasn't bad. "It was about then, I realized I had to do things myself to get anything done." Her head tilted a little to either side a couple times. "Take charge, take the lead, and fake it 'till you make it." She shrugged again, and managed a smirk that wasn't quite so wooden. "That's me."
I swallowed, thickly. I grew up in Brockton Bay, and I wasn't an idiot. I'd imagined that sort of thing happening to me in the past, and I'd bet every other girl our age had, too. It wasn't just possible, I'd heard enough horror stories to know it wasn't even that unlikely. Every time I'd thought of it though, it was always the gangs. Always some monolithic evil, souring the world with their crimes and perversions. Other teenagers, though? Classmates? Kids?
"So, the girls...?" I started, trying to move away from the uncomfortable pit my thoughts were sinking into.
"We keep each other safe." Kara said, finally meeting my eyes. "I try to make sure they're smart, trained, connected..." She shook her head. "Tend to settle for 'not stupid', honestly. Stay together, keep fit enough to run, anything more than that?" She shrugged again.
"And that's why you need me for the training?" I asked, trying to piece the rest together.
"I don't need you." Kara nearly growled, leaning forward slightly, fingers tightening around her cup. She closed her eyes, leaned back, and took a deep breath. "Sorry. Sorry about that." She met my eyes again. "People know me. They know what I'm about. A lot of them don't like it. They get scared, or don't like being told they're ignorant, or any number of things. At this point, if I try to do anything big, it's just a spectacle to be watched and mostly ignored."
"But, people know you're behind all this." That was the confusing part, to me.
She rolled her eyes and nodded. "I'm hoping that part gets drowned out after a few weeks. People know you know me, but you're still new enough to make your own waves. Thing about school networking is, only the schemers care about last month. You know me, but you're closer to Amy. She's friends with me, but she isn't part of my clique. Any luck, you'll wind up the head of your own social structure, or if that doesn't interest you, part of hers." I almost pointed out that this would be another case of not giving someone a choice before having her agenda foisted off on them, but she'd known Amy longer than I had. If she still thought that was a good idea, she deserved whatever Amy thought up as punishment. "All I want from you, is what you're already doing. Help people, and be flashy enough about it that you're not stuck in someone else's shadow."
It almost sounded like she was asking me to be a hero. "I don't think I understand."
For a brief moment, it almost looked like she was going to snap at me. She visibly restrained herself, and took another breath. "Sorry. What don't you understand?"
She was still worked up from her story. I'm not sure I could keep my composure so well after talking about the Locker. Maybe it was the distance from it, it'd been years for her, after all. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be some... icon, or idol, or whatever. I'm not..." Good enough. Never good enough. "It just isn't me."
Her gaze softened, and much of the tension bled out of her. "Oh, honey. You don't have to be some charismatic master manipulator. Just be you, and never let anyone else tell you what that 'you' is." I knew it was a platitude, and in my case an empty one, but I still felt my face heat up. I still shyly curled in on myself a little. "I wanted your help because I could tell that you're strong. When we met, I saw a shy, adorable geek of a beanpole I wanted to protect. But when I found you and Amy in the gym? You were in your element. You knew exactly what you were doing, no hesitation, no shy awkwardness. You were in control, and you knew it." She leaned forward, over our drinks. I'd started smiling a little, despite myself. "But more than anything, I saw that you were gentle with it. You could've hurt her. A lot of the hack teachers out there would say you should have hurt her, just to drive the lessons home. But you were patient, and kind, and strong." She reached out and poked my chest, well above the slight rise of my breasts. "It wasn't just the strength I wanted you to share. It was the patience and kindness." Her hand dropped and she grinned. "And you delivered. That lesson was amazing!" She sighed, looking wistful. "I'm just sorry it ended the way that it did."
Her words and emotions were out of sync. Not that she was lying, but she wasn't nearly as excited as she seemed to be. It resonated with her earlier words- faking it until she made it. She was trying to cheer me up. Cheer me on. It clicked in my head then, that she was something of a cheerleader. Propping people up, egging them on to do better. To do good. Maybe it was just a stroke of optimism, wanting it to be true, but it felt right, in my gut.
"I'm still not sure I get it, but... thanks." I muttered, and she smiled. "I think, as long as things are just going how they were, that I'll be okay. I can figure out how to deal with anything else when it comes up."
We sat there, sipping at our drinks in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Seemingly out of the blue, she asked, "Are you okay?"
"What do you mean?" I returned, a bit confused.
"I looked into it, after last time. Found out... what happened." The Locker.
My hands seized up around my cup, my teeth ground together, my eyes narrowed as I sucked in a hissing breath.
Of course she looked me up. It'd be stupid not to, after I flipped out at her. I couldn't help feeling slightly betrayed, though.
She backed away in her seat. Not fearfully, but giving me space. I didn't lash out. I could have, and wanted to, but the rational part of my mind was aware we were in a fairly nice and quiet public business establishment that wouldn't take well to violent outbursts. So I waited.
"It was like that for me, too." She said, after giving me a minute. "Everything set me off. School, friends, going outside. I got violent, got put in the system." She paused, brought her cup up like she was going to drink, swirled the little that remained in thought, and set it back down. "I'm sorry I didn't notice. Your composure's pretty ridiculous, considering..." she trailed off with a shrug. "I didn't get shipped off because I had a sympathetic woman judge. I got mandatory therapy, house arrest, home schooling... lasted about half a year. Some community service after that." She sighed and leaned back into my space. I'd calmed down enough to allow it. "What I'm trying to get at is, it might not seem like a good thing, it might seem like you're giving up control or saying that you're weak, but... therapy can help." I visibly bristled at the last part, because that was how it felt. "You're not weak, but you're hurting. It's okay to see a doctor, when you're hurt." I knew, rationally, that she was right. If I were sitting there across from me? If it was her having trouble controlling herself just from having the topic raised? I'd be the one suggesting therapy. I knew it. I just didn't like it.
"I'll think about it." I said finally, finishing off my lukewarm drink.
"Just wanted to put the thought in your head." She said with a nod.
The silence lasted another half minute or so, before I sighed and slipped out of the booth. "I should go... decompress a bit."
She nodded. "Would you mind staying a few minutes?" She asked, digging out her phone. "It's the one time you don't remember safety in numbers that gets you, after all."
I didn't think she'd have to worry, being in a coffee shop and all, but... she had to have her reasons. I nodded and sat back down. She poked through her contacts and dialed a number.
"Hey, Mandy. Could you pick me up? ...Yeah. ...Yes." I could only hear the muffled buzz of talking from the other end, not pick out real words. She glanced at me. "...She's okay. ...alright, see you then."
"Mandy?" I asked, willfully ignoring that they'd been talking about me.
"Amanda." Kara corrected. "Should be here in ten or so."
"Ah." I remembered her, now.
She got up and nodded toward the counter again. "You want another?" When I declined, she bouncily walked her way to the counter, and I could feel her mood improving. She had fun acting silly, and probably needed the emotional boost. She waited by the counter for the drink- some chai concoction- and returned with it when it was done. I spent the last few minutes of the wait actively people-watching around the nearby blocks. Kara only took one sip of the drink near the end of the wait, more out of boredom than anything.
When the slightly stocky girl with short dyed-red hair came in, I recognized her instantly. Kara cheered and hopped up, bouncing over and presenting the to-go cup of herbs and spices pretending to be tea. Amanda chuckled and took it, and the two shared a lingering kiss. I looked away, but could still see it through my feet. Kara turned back and waved, catching my attention. Mandy nodded my way, and seemed to appreciate that I'd waited with her girlfriend.
Kara seemed to struggle internally for a second, before striding back over. "Remember you've got my number. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"
I nodded and forced my small smile a little wider for her. She waved again and the two left, heading a block further away from the Boardwalk to where Amanda had managed to find a parking space for the little car they got into. I sat there for a few more minutes, my mind drifting, going back over the conversation, considering what she'd said... stamping down the shy jealously at the pair's casual intimacy, and the thoughts of how no one could ever want me the same way that trailed after it.
In the end I sighed, turning in my cup and heading out the door. I'd blocked off the rest of my day for letting off steam just in case, but now I just felt drained. Still, might as well finish up what I meant to do today. I sent dad a text that I was heading off to clean up my mess in the Trainyard so I didn't feel like going back until the Merchants were cleared out. I told him I was going to run, wasn't going to fight, that he didn't have to worry. I wasn't sure what to make of his short replies, but hoped he was taking it well. He hadn't asked me not to go, after all.
The bus home was just like every other ride home. I swapped my school things out of my backpack, filling it with my cape gear and spare clothes. Then I walked a few blocks east, waited for the coast to clear, and hopped the fence to a backyard where the only occupants were busy on the wrong side of the house to see me. I changed into my temporary cape gear and hoisted my bag again, taking off at a run and then kicking up a tailwind to sprint the last dozen blocks to the Trainyard in under half a minute.
When I got there, I stashed my bag on top of one of the warehouses, and started making my way between the piles of junk I'd left out. I'd hoped to have them recycled, and was still hopeful I could have that done someday, but for now leaving piles of what was essentially weak steel plating for Mush to grab up? Fantastically terrible idea.
So I got to work burying them. It had to be deep enough to not be easy to get to, but not so deep they could never be dug out without my help. I had to dodge underground lines and the few sewer tunnels in the area, which took a bit of thought in a couple cases. Still, it wasn't even an hour before I was done. I still had the rest of the day, and was already here... I decided to get one last round of work put in. I could bury the trash fast enough if I saw someone coming, after all. I spend a couple noisy hours working through the backlog of looted or empty crates, before the repetition really started getting to me. I hadn't set out to practice or train, after all. No feelings of backing out or giving up to contend with, today.
It was still relatively early in the day, even though it was starting to get dark out. I didn't want to just go home. So I grabbed my bag and headed south. I didn't really have anywhere in mind, so I just kept going until I found something interesting. When I hit the commercial sector, I stopped. This was the ritzier part of town, with Medhall, the Towers, and the shopping mall. All of it was deep in Empire territory, and they discouraged serving non-whites, but if you ignored the racial monochrome, it was one of the better parts of town. I wound up poking around a bit, doing the stereotypical 'super' thing of finding a few taller buildings to climb and perch on for a bit while inspecting the skyline. It was a nice view, but I didn't see the appeal when I could get something similar standing on the hills bordering the city.
After finding an alley with no obvious cameras to de-cape in, I started meandering my way home. One house a few blocks away caught my eye on the trip, though. It had a pair of cars out front, and another pulled up on the curb. It was the guy struggling with a large package that'd caught my attention. A crate with a large dog inside. That wouldn't have seemed too out of place with pets being a thing, except a casual sweep of the house revealed a dozen more.
Who needed that many dogs? And why keep them caged up?
I stopped walking, turning my full attention on the building. That was when I realized two of the people in one of the back rooms were wearing masks. Both men, both seemed to be heavy masks... Metal, animal shaped. If these were Hookwolf and Stormtiger, the weird bucket thing next to the woman they were with made a bit more sense. Cricket, said to wear a cagelike helmet.
The problem was, I wasn't sure what to do with the information. Dad didn't want me fighting, and as strong as I knew I was, the thought of fighting fucking Hookwolf was still daunting if only by reputation. I was sure I could take him, but the collateral damage from the fight would be absurd to bring to a residential suburb like the one they were in. My best bet was an ambush, and the only things I could think of would destroy the house and probably hurt the dogs. I could just sink the whole thing into the ground, but that might be too slow if I was trying to keep it intact.
The stalemate I found myself in was incredibly frustrating. I wanted to stop them, but I realized I didn't care about fighting them. I pulled out my phone and considered my options. I'd called the non-emergency line last time, maybe I should try the emergency line? I dialed and waited.
"PRT Emergency." The crisp deep tones came less than two rings in. I was so surprised by it that they continued. "Please state your name and the nature of your emergency." Right, if you're in immediate danger, you're still supposed to call 911. This sort of line assumed there was time for names.
I still spent half a second hesitantly humming out an 'um', unfortunately. "I'm Terraform. I'm... not in danger, but I found something?" When he told me to go on, I nodded. "I found a house full of dogs, with some people in masks. I think it's Stormtiger, Hookwolf an-"
"Do not engage. Do. Not. Engage." The man barked in my ear. "If you're still near the building, move away."
I stuttered a bit more before I could speak. "Oh, I'm not fighting. I'm not even near there anymore." I'm not stupid, I wanted to say, but that'd be unproductive.
"Good. Please continue." I heard typing in the background as I started walking again, and he'd gone from sounding distant but professional to deathly serious. I suppose the situation called for it.
"Right, I think the people in the masks were Stormtiger, Hookwolf, and Cricket. There were a few more people, but it was mostly dogs." I gave him the address, after that.
"Anything else?" I told him I didn't have any other useful information. "You did good, reporting this instead of running in and getting yourself killed."
"What's going to happen, now?"
"Can't say." The man said, hesitance creeping into his voice for the first time. "The important thing is, that it's our problem now. We're aware of it now thanks to you, and we'll find a way to use this information. Your job now is staying safe."
"I guess..." I muttered. "Thanks." The call ended after the basic 'good evening' exchange, and I stopped to stare at my phone for a bit. That... didn't feel as good as it should have, I think. I shook my head and sped up, soon enough passing near Arcadia and where New Wave lived. It was definitely edging into 'evening' by the time I got near home.
I slowed again, inspecting the car in the driveway. There was someone in it, and two people in the house. Dad, and someone older, with a weird metal cane. My thoughts ground to a halt in realization, and I sped up again. I stopped by the fancy looking car to find a young woman in a crisp but inexpensive-looking suit in the driver's seat. She gave a little wave when she looked up from her phone and noticed me standing between the car and the house door. I returned it awkwardly and made my way inside.
"In here." Dad called from the kitchen, and I dropped my bag on the way there.
He was sitting at the table, coffee in hand. Across from him sat a thin figure in a much nicer skirtsuit than the woman from the car had. Her hands rested on the cane in her lap, her back straight with rigid, immaculate posture. I stared at the whitening gray hair in the low bun behind her head, giving way to sharp hawk-like features under a thin coat of sagging wrinkles as she turned to look at me. For a moment, all I saw were the hints of familiarity that made my chest ache, before I met the woman's hard gaze.
"...Hi, Gram."