Chapter 8: Interlude - Fyreside Stories 2
"ENOUGH!"
The roar of Amelia Bones' voice along with the slam of her hand onto Fudge's desk as if she intended to punch a hole in it was so unexpected that all the arguments simultaneously going on in the office stopped dead. Sirius himself had been expressing his extreme annoyance with Dumbledore for many, many past actions including but not limited to his own incarceration without trial, Harry's upbringing, his lack of a trial (he was very miffed about that), Harry's schooling, the trial again (he was very miffed about that), basilisks, dark lords who refused to remain dead (which he had some nasty theories about and was hoping he was wrong), the prophecy about Harry and the aforementioned dark lord, the fact that Dumbledore had known about it from day one and kept it a secret from those who very much needed to know, suspicions derived from all this about just how much Dumbledore had been involved in the loss of James and Lily, the trial again (he was very miffed about that), and just how it was that none of what happened at Hogwarts had managed to escape the gates of that august institution.
Among many other things, which he'd explained at length and significant volume, for over an hour so far.
It was fair to say that after twelve years in the worst prison in the British Isles, and somewhere he would laugh like a madman to see Skitter use her tame fyre on, which was something he'd been considering offering her anything she wanted to arrange, he was not in the best of moods even before everything that had happened since he'd decided to leave the damn place. Nor was he, and he was honest enough to admit this to himself, totally certain he was perhaps as sane as he should be, which made restraining some of his more… Black-related… urges a tad difficult at times.
The whole situation around Harry and why he kept finding himself embroiled in things an adult wizard with combat training would be hard pressed to handle had become much too explainable once the boy had revealed that fucking prophecy to them all. Far too many past actions of old Dumbledore had suddenly been cast into a new light, one that at best could be considered unflattering and devious, and at worst somewhere between totally incompetent and actively malicious. He was absolutely certain that Remus thought the same, and his friend's shouting at the old wizard, while more restrained than his own, had been even more vicious and cutting.
He couldn't decide whether Dumbledore needed to be jailed, shot, or beaten to within an inch of his life, or possible all three in one order or another, but the thing he was sure of was that he no longer trusted the old man out of his sight. Any gloss relating to the Great Albus Dumbledore, which had been wearing thin anyway after the last few years, was well and truly scrubbed off.
As Bones had said, the man was a wise and powerful wizard, which was true enough, but he was also at best a manipulative and foolish old man who seriously required someone to go over his plans and point out all the places he was being as thick as pigshit. Which, on the evidence that had come to light, was most of them.
Sirius didn't like to believe that Albus was actively trying to get Harry killed or something along those lines, and he still felt the old man meant well in his own, very strange, manner, but Dumbledore was definitely working to a plan no one else was privy to and that did not make him happy.
Leaving aside everything else, Bones was right. How was it that no one outside of Hogwarts, with the obvious exception of Malfoy, Fudge, and some of the inner circle of cronies and suck-ups, had known about the basilisk and the whole Chamber of Secrets fiasco? It certainly hadn't hit the public's attention because the outcry would have shut Hogwarts for months. The entire child population of Wizarding Britain attended that school and even some of the worst parents in the Isles would have looked askance at risking the lives of their offspring and heirs to something roaming the halls and randomly petrifying people. Yet there had been no such outcry, then or since.
It was very odd, and all the reasons he could come up with for that to happen made him uncomfortable. In some cases they made him absolutely furious. He could tell that Bones had gone through much the same thought process to much the same end and was, if anything, angrier than he was.
And that was on top of all the other weirdness surrounding, specifically, Harry and his friends. In his day Hogwarts had been somewhat interesting in many ways, but it was never even at its worst genuinely as potentially lethal as it seemed to be these days. No one was releasing trolls into the damn place, or letting basilisks roam the hallways, or setting cute little traps baited with Flamel's philosopher's stone and guarded by a Cerberus! When Harry had told him about that he'd nearly had a stroke…
What the hell, Albus?
The really worrying thing about the whole situation was, again, how none of this insanity seemed to be causing the public at large to rise up in panic and demand something be done. Skeeter could turn the most innocuous series of events into a hate campaign that would last for days through the rag she wrote for, but when it came to something genuinely hideously dangerous, there was nothing. It didn't make sense, or rather, it only made sense if one assumed that quite a lot of deliberate interference had been going on in the background somewhere. Fudge covering up a lot of it was entirely plausible, and in fact almost certain, as it would have seriously embarrassed the Ministry and hence risked his own job, something he clung to with fervent enthusiasm despite, or possible because of, how bad he was at it, but who covered up the rest?
There was only one possibility, really, and he had been making his opinion on that abundantly clear for some time now. As had Remus. And Bones, although she'd also spent half the time shouting at Fudge, who was dividing his attention between screaming at her, and Dumbledore, and Sirius for that matter.
It was almost impressive, a tiny part of his mind thought with a detached sort of amusement, how the pudgy idiot had somehow become so incensed he was actually acting almost like a real person rather than a weak-willed politician with only the desire to accept bribes and look the other way. Possibly this would be good for him in the long run. Assuming Bones didn't have him buried in an unmarked grave next to Albus…
However, apparently, he thought as his mouth snapped shut and he along with the others turned to stare at her, she'd finally reached her limit.
So as the echoes of her shout died away, complete silence fell while they all looked warily at her. She was holding her wand in a way that suggested she wouldn't so much curse someone as stab them with it if they dared to interrupt her.
"Enough," she said much more quietly but with venom in her voice. "I am utterly finished with this. It's one in the bloody morning, I am so angry I can barely think straight, and if you all keep shouting at each other I'm highly liable to do something all of us will regret. You first, of course, but in the long run I will also have to answer for it. So do not push me. Do you all understand?"
Every one of them nodded quickly, even Dumbledore, who looked oddly subdued as well as unusually flustered. Sirius had never seen him lose his composure to the extent he'd experienced over the last few hours, but after everything that had happened he wasn't surprised. He himself was barely holding it together, if he was honest with himself.
Skitter had that effect on you. If she didn't you were probably dead already.
"Albus, you and I are going to have a very, very long talk tomorrow about… oh, so many things," she went on in an almost dreamy voice, fixing him with a look that even the basilisk would have envied. "You are going to answer every question I have at length, truthfully, and holding back nothing, or I will restrain you, pump you so full of veritaserum you'll be pissing it out for a week, and find out every secret you've got right back to the day you were born. Do you understand me? I am not joking. It's blatantly obvious that at a minimum you've broken a number of laws, possibly with the best of intentions, but that is my job to decide. Not yours. So if you try to evade, or deny, or wriggle out of telling me everything I want to know, you will be in a cell before you know what's hit you."
Dumbledore started to say something, then snapped his mouth shut as she spun her wand between her fingers without looking at it, her eyes locked on his. After a few seconds, during which Sirius was absolutely certain he suddenly recalled that he didn't have his own wand right now, he swallowed and nodded while looking embarrassed and annoyed.
"I understand, Amelia, but I feel that…"
She pointed at him, then wagged her finger. "No. Not a word." As he looked somewhat disgruntled but subsided, she turned her attention to Fudge, who twitched and paled at the look in her eyes. "And you. What ever gave you the idea that you had powers of arrest, pray tell, Cornelius? Did you perhaps misunderstand your own job title? I was under the impression that you were the, hmm, duly elected Minister for Magic of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and that I am the Director of the Department for Magical Law Enforcement for the aforesaid United Kingdom. I understand that all those long words may confuse you, but I assure you that the two roles are not directly interchangeable. Your job is to head the magical government in the form of the Wizengamot, and my job is to enforce the laws that government legally creates. That does not give you the right to arrest anyone! Yet it appears that you decided all by yourself to go to Hogwarts and place Rubeus Hagrid under arrest, then put him in Azkaban, without even mentioning it to me. Or, as far as I'm aware, the Wizengamot either, because I certainly would have heard about it."
Sirius was impressed. The level of silky sarcasm and clear diction combined with vicious fury was truly exceptional. Amelia Bones was not pleased, and it was very obvious that having Amelia Bones not pleased with you was not a good place to be.
Fudge apparently thought the same, because he'd gotten paler and paler as she spoke, out of both anger, and in much larger part, fear. He was leaning away from her as she took a step closer. "You and I are also going to have a very, very long talk, Cornelius. I could arrest you here and now on at least four charges I can think of on the spot, and I'm utterly certain that's just the tip of the iceberg. But if I do that the headache it will bring on top of all the other issues I have to deal with would probably result in me starting to contemplate things that would force me to arrest myself for murder, so we won't go that route. Instead, you will go home, go to bed, and speak to no one about anything until I am able to discuss your many and varied idiocies. I'd prefer not to bring the entire government down about our ears, which bearing in mind everything that's happened tonight, may well occur anyway. I'm going to have my hands full cleaning up after both of you foolish twits, so it would be best not to add to my list of problems or none of us will enjoy the results."
"Now, see here, Amelia," Fudge began, somehow finding what was left of his courage and straightening up a bit. Sirius and Remus, and even Dumbledore, watched with fascination as it was so out of character. "You can't speak to me like this! I can have you…"
He trailed off with a squeak, his eyes crossing to focus on the glowing wand tip that was abruptly about an inch from his nose.
None of the men had even seen her move.
"Do you really want to see what happens if you keep walking the path you're looking down, Cornelius?" she asked in a soft and incredibly dangerous voice. "I absolutely assure you it leads nowhere you'll enjoy. Leave. Tomorrow we will speak again. Until then you will be quiet and discreet and possibly by the time this all gets sorted out you will remain out of Azkaban. There is no one left to help you except me so do not try my patience any further." Her last words were a deadly hiss.
No one dared say anything for a handful of seconds, then very slowly and carefully, Minister Fudge moved from behind his desk, trembling slightly, and began slowly walking to the door, appearing like a naughty child that had had a strip torn off him by his mother.
Bones nodded slightly, her wand vanishing again with a flick of her fingers. Sirius was deeply impressed. Apparently she had got to the position of DMLE director on merit, not on political favors, and the woman very obviously indeed knew how to handle a wand. He suspected there were few of her aurors who were better.
Maybe Moody, but he wouldn't want to put galleons on it.
While Fudge was sidling towards the door, trying not to look like he was retreating, Bones turned to the rest of them. "Understand this, gentlemen," she said in an icily calm voice. "My single goal at the moment is to fix all the problems left by Voldemort and his minions, while I have the opportunity to do so. This is a opening I've been wanting for years and I'm damned if I'm going to let it go the way it did the last time. It ends here, now. I strongly advise you all not to become one of the problems I need to fix because believe me I have absolutely no patience left after tonight. Albus, you'd best think very carefully about your actions or lack thereof over the last decade. Don't let your pride be your downfall because you're perilously close to having that happen. If it wasn't for her we would be having a very… different… Oh, hell."
Bones had gestured towards Skitter, who the five of them had been completely ignoring this entire time along with Harry and the other two, half-turning to look at the girl, then stopped mid-motion. The others followed her eyes.
They were alone in the room.
"Oh, no," Dumbledore whispered almost inaudibly. "Where did they go?" Apparently he hadn't noticed the teenagers leaving any more than Sirius had, as caught up in the massive row as they'd all been.
"Back to Hogwarts?" Sirius suggested, it being the obvious solution. Dumbledore's face ebbed to an unhealthy color. Apparently he wasn't particularly sanguine about that possibility.
A chuckle from Remus next to him made them all look at the man. "They went to Hermione's parents' house," he told them, looking strangely amused even though he was still clearly annoyed about the whole situation.
"How do you know?" Dumbledore asked warily.
Remus tapped his ear while raising en eyebrow. "I am a werewolf, Albus. Very good hearing, you know. I heard them discussing it. Hermione asked the relevant question no one else seems to have thought of, including me, I might add."
"That being?"
"That being what happens to Skitter's pet fiendfyre when she goes to sleep."
Sirius literally felt his heart skip a beat, Fudge nearly fainted as he reached the exit, Bones went white, and Dumbledore's eyes widened comically while his mouth fell open in horror.
"Oh, Merlin, I didn't think of that," the aged wizard whispered.
"Hermione did. That girl is much, much smarter than most people are. Even when she looked like she was ready to fall over from tiredness," Remus replied, shaking his head in wonder. "Skitter assured her that the fiendfyre was, and would remain, under control. She'd know if anyone would, I suppose, and we can't really do anything other than take her at her word. So after that they discussed going to Hogwarts, Hermione pointed out that if they did that it probably wouldn't be there by this time tomorrow which knowing people like Draco Malfoy may not be nearly as unlikely as it should be, then suggested they go to her parents' house. So they did."
"And you didn't stop them?" Dumbledore demanded.
"How?" Remus spread his hands, asking the entirely reasonable question. "If Skitter wants to do something, I rather feel Skitter does it, and everyone else gets out of the way. Are you going to argue with her?"
"Ah… you do raise a valid point, yes." Albus looked pensive. "Oh dear. How were they going to get there?"
"Knight bus, by the sounds of it. Which should minimize problems." Remus looked at Bones. "I strongly suggest we leave them alone at least until tomorrow, as Harry, Hermione, and Luna need sleep, while I really don't want to risk upsetting whatever Skitter really is. At the moment she seems friendly enough but…"
"Agreed," Bones nodded. "And Miss Granger is undoubtedly correct. Mixing the current environment of Hogwarts, as described by her, and Miss Skitter sounds like a profoundly stupid idea and I try to avoid those wherever possible." She glanced at Dumbledore and Fudge. "Unlike some," she added with a certain amount of venom.
Sirius thought the almost identical expression of offended irritation both the men got was hilarious, but bit his tongue. Laughing wouldn't improve things right now.
See, Moony? He could learn!
His old friend looked at him as if he knew exactly what he was thinking and smirked.
"What are we going to do about her?" Dumbledore asked, having spotted his wand sitting on the chair Skitter had been in and moving to collect it with unseemly speed, then turning back to them. He looked abruptly every one of his hundred plus years and tired with it.
Bones shrugged. "Work out how to send her home, then do that. I don't think there is anything else we can do, and I'd be very cautious about trying to come up with a less sensible plan. Who knows how much she can hear? Or from how far away?"
All of them looked around uneasily at her words, falling silent for a moment or two.
A knock on the door made them look at it, then it opened to reveal Moody. He stomped inside, slamming the thing behind him and almost hitting Fudge, and made his way over to Bones. "Got Umbridge," he said without ceremony. "Centaurs are not happy. Can't blame them, I'd be unhappy having that harpy screeching at me. Mind you, I'd have killed her by now. Woman is a vicious piece of work, makes half the Death Eaters look civilized."
"Good work. Where is she?"
"In the cells with the magic suppression runes. And she's screaming that everyone involved is going to pay for what they've done, starting with Potter and ending up with Dumbledore. You're on the list too." He smiled nastily, making her laugh briefly.
"Somehow I fail to be surprised. Post a guard, make sure it's someone trusted."
"Already did. Tonks is there too. Girl's green, but she's good, and can be trusted."
"All right." Madam Bones nodded as she leaned over Fudge's desk to grab a sheet of parchment and his quill. Inking the latter, she wrote for a few seconds, before drying and duplicating the document with a tape of her wand. She handed Moody one copy. "Last task. Pull all the documentation on the Death Eater trials from the archives, copy them, and take the originals to my office. I want to be sure nothing accidentally vanishes in the confusion. Then we can all go to bed."
With a sigh, Moody nodded, accepted the document, then turned and stomped away, his peg leg making clicking sounds on the floor before the door closed behind him. When he'd left, Bones picked up the box of memory vials and shrunk it before putting it in her pocket. "I have some paperwork to sort out and some floo calls to make. You, go home and stay very quiet indeed," she said, pointing at Fudge, "And you get back to Hogwarts and make sure the place isn't on fire or something. Neither one of you do anything else, and if you don't come back when I ask you to, may the gods have mercy on your souls because I can guarantee I won't. Even if I have to ask Skitter to come and find you."
She smiled grimly as both men looked worried, then turned to leave the office. "Black, Lupin, go home. We'll talk tomorrow," she said in a much less unfriendly tone as she passed them. Sirius looked after her, back at Dumbledore who was staring at his wand with a strange expression, shook his head, and nudged Remus. His friend nodded and followed as he left the room, reflecting on how much had changed and how quickly.
And wondering what the fallout of all of this would ultimately be...