Chapter 63: Disillusioned illusionsNotes:
Pandora :)
Also thanks to the wonderful members of my discord server who are keeping me sane in these trying times XD
EDIT: 44.444 Hits!
Chapter Text
Character 63
Roswaal followed the little anomaly with curiosity. When his gospel mentioned an 'affliction' he could have never imagined that Tanya would lose her memories! How thrillingly unanticipated! After four hundred years of existence surprises of such magnitude were rather uncommon. What could have caused the young girl to forget everything about Lugnica, misinterpreting her surroundings as merely a product of her imagination?
The witch's cult perhaps? Those fools possessed an array of mystifying and unnatural abilities that even he could not predict.
Or were damages to the mind a side-effect of her mystical arcane prowess? In the few interactions they shared Roswaal had sensed no abnormally large mana reserves from her, yet she had defeated the White Whale in single combat which was a feat he would be hard-pressed to replicate. His informants described her strike as a 'single golden beam of light as bright as the sun itself' so obviously she was a veritable powerhouse on the battlefield.
If there was one thing he had learned in his long, long life... then it was that no power came without cost.
Regardless, he would use this situation to his advantage as he always had and always would as long as his teacher lay imprisoned. In her vulnerable state it should be easy to pry secrets from Tanya that she otherwise would have never spoken out loud.
Not for now though, her single-minded obsession with food consumption would ensure that everybody was completely ignored until the little soldier had her fill. Furthermore, Reinhard van Astrea, her knight who looked painfully similar to the foggy memories of Reid from his youth, was clever enough to separate her from the gathered nobles in a separate room before she could make even more of an embarrassment of herself.
Already the guests here were licking their lips and discussed with greedy eyes how they could exploit this gaffe to their benefit. Their silly schemes and short-sighted plans had not changed throughout the centuries. To Roswaal they seemed like squabbling children who were trying to steal mother's pie from the oven without the others noticing.
Well, at least they were undoubtedly human in contrast to himself, the Court Magician thought amusedly. For all their faults they would never sin and debase themselves like he had. Nonetheless, after twelve generations of atrocities Roswaal could not find it in himself to regret a single obscene cruelty he had committed in her name. Despite his distaste for lies and bloodshed not waning in the slightest, he found comfort and absolute purpose in his goal.
Was it brutal that the sun was going to fade away one distant day?
Yes. But it was also inevitable. The laws of the universe compelled it to die and there was nothing anybody could do against the heavy hand of fate. He was as much of a servant of destiny as the water that flowed down the river or the cat that caught mice. Bad things happened and he would force them to take place if need be.
For his teacher, no cost was too great. For his love, Roswaal was prepared to endure anything.
Which brought him to the mystery boy...
Subaru was suffering from some unseen force as well. The boy might be able to hide his true feelings from the half-elf or the maids, but for a tortured soul like him those inner pains were clear as day. How his eyes roamed around, searching for nothing or how he flinched when somebody grabbed him unexpectedly...
Most intriguing.
And was it only his own imagination or had the atmosphere suddenly grown colder when Subaru mentioned whatever they 'discussed together' was to Tanya? 'Return by-' he had called it before he got interrupted seemingly by a sharp pain in his chest... What was that about? Possibly a curse? Did he swear an unbreakable vow to never discuss the subject of their conversation? Such advanced soul sorceries were way beyond the scope of his pitiful grasp on magic.
Of course his tome of wisdom was not helpful in providing details, because his teacher simply loved to watch people find out crucial information the hard way. It was one of her many quirks as the Witch of Greed and the greatest collector of knowledge who ever lived. However her utterly inhuman mindset was precisely what had ensnared him back then...
Shaking himself free of those idle daydreams, Roswaal refreshed his smile and approached Subaru. The boy obviously held some connection to Tanya and he needed to cultivate that relationship if he wanted his plans to succeed. If their bond dissolved now then it would be far harder to lure the girl to his master's grave.
"Whyyy do you look so dreary, Subaruuuu?"
"Tanya, well, I thought we were kind of friends? And now she's forgotten me... It's not the first time something like this has happened to me, but it still sucks, y'know?"
Not the first time? How fascinating. More questions for later.
"Aaaand? What are you going to do about it, Suuuubaru Natsuki?"
The boy blinked in confusion.
"What do you mean? There is nothing I can do."
"Reaaally? Are you so easily discouraged? A few woooords are enough to make you despair?"
"Of course not!" he snapped, "But without her memories..."
With a lazy wave of his hand Roswaal continued: "Then you will juuust have to make new ones. Perhaps she will remember, perhaps she will not. I only know that she must be teeeeerribly alone right now..."
Subaru was somebody who quickly formed attachments. They were his most glaring weakness. Taking control of these metaphorical chains was simple.
"Or what do youuu think, Lady Emilia?" he grinned towards the silently fidgeting half-elf.
"Ehm, oh, ehm..."
She bit her lip as she visibly wracked her brain for an answer. Suddenly becoming the focus of the discussion noticeably stressed her out. Then a remarkably determined expression settled on her innocent face.
"I think we need to help her! Yes! It is for our own good that our ally recovers swiftly! I am sure we can figure something out! We cannot ignore the plight of our friend, because... Because then she won't fulfil her end of our bargain! And we need her, yes! Not helping her would be flubbing the dub! Definitely!"
The boy looked at her with clear endearment.
"Oh, Emilia-tan your excuses are adorable! You don't need a reason to help a friend."
Turning to look him in the eyes, Subaru stated: "You are right Roswaal. I can't just do nothing while our friend and ally is probably in danger."
Ah, the margrave involuntarily shivered at that steely resolve in the boy's voice. He would make a fine tool. Hopefully he was going to display such strength of mind in the upcoming trials. It would be a shame if he broke before completing his part in the events to come.
"Also who says 'flubbing the dub' anymore? You sound like my grandma, Emilia-tan!" he joked abruptly, switching the mood.
"Subaruuuuu..." whined the girl in embarrassment.
Roswaal smiled nearly genuinely. These children were too young to be dragged into conflict and misery. The world was indeed cruel to make them the keys to his success, ensuring that they furthered a plan outside their comprehension.
Nonetheless, he would do his duty. No matter how cute they appeared at that moment.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reinhard let none of his inner turmoil show on his face. His Lady was gorging herself on the mountain of delicacies he had procured from the staff, indulging in a manner he had never seen of her before. Whenever her control slipped, Tanya would inevitably reign herself back in a few seconds after. The air of a dignified and guarded officer always accompanied her.
Her current behaviour was so uncultured, yet also so free in comparison. Like she was a completely different person. Did that mean that she had merely played an act before? Faked her stern facade? Well, not really. His Divine Protection of empathy told him the opposite in the past. This was so strange...
"Ughaaa... I wish I could eat like this in real life too..."
If there was one thing he knew with one hundred percent certainty about his Lady, then that she was a logical person. One did not earn a high military rank without either high birth or exceptional intelligence. Maybe he could appeal to that rational side of her to convince Tanya to stop this folly? The longer she followed her delusions, the harder it would be for her to accept that she was actually in Lugnica.
"Milady, what exactly is your reasoning behind this belief?"
"Huh?" she asked, her cheeks adorably stuffed with the remains of her dinner.
"The assumption that you are currently in a dream... How did you arrive at that conclusion?"
Slowly she swallowed and wiped her mouth with a napkin, obviously collecting her thoughts. He took that as a good sign. At least she was humouring his question at all.
"Well, let's see..."
She held up one finger.
"Firstly, I wake up in a land I never heard of, in a bed that is not my own and surrounded by people I never met before."
Reinhard did not wince. He would serve his Lady even if she could not remember him.
"Secondly, this is all... far too pleasant to be genuine."
A dark expression entered her eyes and her lips pursed in displeasure.
"Actually tasty food, a warm bed, a flourishing nation and a rich benefactor who takes care of me, treats me with reverence and makes me nobility or something? Technically I am a noble, but that title is on paper only. In reality I have nothing to my name. My weapon and even the clothing on my back belong to the army. I have no home, no family, no friends or servants! I am a replaceable cog in the mindless machinery of war that fights for survival every day! There is no peace and no luxury for me! So obviously this false paradise must be an illusion!"
At the end of Tanya's rant her voice became rather heavy with emotions that Reinhard himself knew all too well: Bitterness and longing. His heart clenched tight as he witnessed the inner troubles of his Lady, laid bare to him in her most vulnerable state. It was an honour to be trusted by someone who was clearly far stronger and simultaneously more unfortunate than him.
Reinhard felt the spark of self-hatred inside his heart grow. Who was he to wish for even a tiny bit of love when his Lady clearly needed it more – no – deserved it more!
"I am deeply sorry to hear that, Milady. You mentioned a great and terrible war before. Forgive me, but was your life so dreadful prior to coming here that you cannot fathom that such basic delights could be authentic? Is the absence of conflict enough to paint this all a lie?"
"Hey, don't make me sound like the lunatic here."
"Forgive me, Milady. It was not my intention. Yet still, I must know."
It was rude, but this was for her own good. He liked to think of himself as her friend, and from what he heard, friends were supposed to care for each other even if they didn't realize that they needed it.
"Well... If you put it that way... Alright, let's assume for a second that I believe you on this; then my first point still stands. Nothing here seems familiar to me and you treat me like I have known you for a while. This doesn't add up. The last thing I remember is... uhm... is..."
Her delicate brows scrunched up as her voice tapered off in uncertainty.
Was that fear on his Lady's face? Could that foul artefact have permanently damaged her memories? By the Divine Dragon...
"Why..."
Rage overtook her normally angelic features, twisting them into something truly terrifying. Despite his status as the Sword Saint, Reinhard felt the faintest shiver run down his back as Tanya's appearance changed into that of a murderous demon. (Not that he would ever dare to refer to her as such.)
"BEING X, YOU BASTARD!"
Greenish-blue mana flared up around her form as she shoved her chair so hard away that it splintered against the wall. This could quickly escalate into a bloody catastrophe if she vented her fury within the royal palace! He had to stop this at all costs!
"Milady, please control yourself!"
Reinhard flinched not as her ire redirected itself towards him.
"You! You are here to spite me, aren't you? Haven't you taken enough? Now this too? Do you have no shame?"
"I assure you I am not whoever you are referring to! Please remain calm!" he tried to pacify her, his hands raised in a nonthreatening gesture he often used on civilians.
Unfortunately that seemed to have the opposite effect.
"As if! You piece of shit!"
Lady Tanya sprung on him with her fingers suddenly sporting several glowing claws that his supernaturally blessed vision identified as sharp enough to cut through solid steel with ease.
Naturally the strike missed.
Her eyes widened a fraction, but her other hand swiped exactly where his head was only to equally fail at hitting him. He truly was pathetic wasn't he? He couldn't even let his Lady hit him if she desired to relieve some stress.
"Please Milady! I am not your enemy! Tell me who this 'Being X' is and I will hunt them down for you if I must! But please cease this play and let us talk clearly about your situation!"
"Never!" the young woman glared back.
Once again a barrage of different swings from her claws was unable to make contact with his body despite the laws of nature dictating that he should be minced meat by now.
"Trust me! I have nothing to do with your... condition. We can talk this out."
Unsatisfied with her impotent attack, Tanya lunged for his throat and attempted to strangle him. Reinhard did not resist for he knew that her success was impossible. Air was unnecessary for him to live. Monsters like him were not bound by human limitations.
As her grip failed to dent his skin she finally cried out in frustration. It was an ugly sound of pure despair that Reinhard wanted to never hear again.
"Please don't cry, Milady. I am on your side. I would do everything for you. Together we can surely find a way to make things right. I promise!"
Even to himself, his word was less than nothing. Nonetheless, he did mean them. Despite all his power he couldn't save his Lady and brought her sorrow. How shameful... Who could trust such a failure?
"This is the end isn't it? You've grown bored of me at long last... Or am I just going insane? Hehe..." she whispered to herself.
A single tear rolled down her cheek.
In a spontaneous burst of overwhelming compassion for the woman whom he had failed so dreadfully, Reinhard leaned down and embraced his Lady. He felt like he was dirtying her with his mere touch, but etiquette or decency had no place in his mind during that moment. To him, Tanya looked like a little girl in need of comfort and he was the next best tool to grant her reassurance.
"There, there... I will stay by your side. Always. You are not insane, Tanya. You can relax. I will keep you safe from whoever is wishing you ill. Nothing can harm you here. Shhhh..."
They would figure out how to get her memories back. Regardless if he had to beg the Divine Dragon to heal her or travel beyond the great waterfall, it would be done!