Chapter 61: Casual hungerNotes:
Pandora <3
Sorry for the wait! (again lol)
EDIT: 40.000 Hits!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter 61
"Your scales are so nice..."
"Get off! Stop it!"
"You're so beautiful Martha~"
Tanya huffed in amusement as she watched the little scene from above, lazily hanging in the air over a nameless, dark alleyway. How much more cliché could Being X get? Lizard people in a pseudo-medieval fantasy setting? It seemed the metaphysical bastard had watched too much anime from her homeworld.
"I said get off! I don't want anything to do with you! Hey, don't touch me!"
And now the lizard girl was being accosted by a no-good thug with a slimy attitude. Honestly, it was the typical setup for any cheesy action story. The hero would normally swoop in and save the girl from the claws of the offender and prove their morally superior character in the process. Too bad that she would not play by Being X's rules.
Flying away from the laughably unimaginative crime scene Tanya's magically enhanced eyes romanced the fake city that her torturer had created for unknown purposes. Likely this illusion was designed to confuse and break her spirit, making her submit to his lies. Pathetic.
Oh, well... So far it was better than fighting, she supposed. The bustling life and intact architecture was certainly easier on the eyes than the bombed wasteland she usually got to see.
"Mhhh... How long will this charade last, I wonder? An hour? A week? A lifetime? Or is this your idea of Limbo? An eternal prison to torment me with your mediocre manga tropes?"
Tanya did not receive an answer from her hated enemy, nor did she expect him to appear when it was actually convenient. His annoying silence was typical, but at least preferable to his smug gloating.
"The question is only... Why did you do it? Why did you spontaneously decide to trap me in this cheap illusion? Who is the person that I have to thank for knocking some sense into your nonexistent skull, showing you that your original plan to convert me was worthless?"
Usually she would not monologue like an idiot out in the open at the off chance that someone might overhear her, but Tanya was beyond caring at this point. Nothing what appeared to happen here mattered anyways, because this was just a hallucination.
"Well, guess what! It won't work this time either! Buuuuut that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the false peace for a while. Mmmhhh, what should I- Yes! Food! I haven't had proper human food in ages! Not that muck that they serve us as rations... If the people here speak Japanese does that mean that they potentially serve some of my homeland's cuisine as well? I'd kill for some ramen... or some nice sashimi... I can barely remember the taste, but I liked it back then so it must be delicious! Better than sawdust anyhow..."
Her gaze analyzed the layout of the city with renewed vigour, searching for any locale that would suit her need for a nostalgic dish. As she noticed the activity surrounding the central palace of the city she thought back to the alleged ball in her honour that the maid had told her about. It was most likely a trap, but such a banquet was also sure to offer a range of different foods of the local as well as the exotic variety.
Yes, that sounded like fun. Furthermore, the easiest way to disarm a trap once you knew of its existence, was to spring it.
"Let's see what brain-dead festival you created for me, Being X..." she whispered with a grin that seemed to stretch unnaturally wide over her doll-like face.
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Unbeknownst to Tanya, her knight was not sitting idly in his mansion, waiting for his Lady to return. In fact, his bewilderment over her behaviour only lasted long enough to stay his hand until her foot left the windowsill. Immediately afterwards however he rushed over to the shattered window in the span of a heartbeat and threw himself outside, hoping in vain to save her from the fall onto the paved ground.
Such aid ultimately proved unnecessary as his Lady converted her downwards momentum effortlessly into flight as easily as a bird, leaving him alone to fall like an ungraceful rock in comparison. Had Reinhard been an ordinary human being then gravity would have crushed him mercilessly, but due to his numerous Divine Protections not even a speck of dust dirtied his uniform as he impacted the courtyard on his feet.
Taking off in a sprint, he followed the silhouette of his mistress as best as he could through the maze of alleys and small streets that the royal capital was known for. Sometimes he needed to jump over houses or crowds of citizens to continue his pursuit which was neither impossible nor straining for him in any way. The only thing that sometimes gave him trouble was regulating his power so that he did not leave torn up roads and cratered rooftops in his wake.
Finally Reinhard believed Tanya to have stopped, only for her to fly off again after floating near motionlessly for a solid minute. When he reached the place she had been observing from the air, he found something that made him frown in disapproval.
A wolf demi-human man was molesting a lizard demi-human girl quite clearly against her consent. Regardless of how much he was itching to continue the chase, such crimes could not be ignored, for he was also a sworn knight of Lugnica and protector of the people.
"Excuse me, Mister. Would you please let this woman go?" he smiled, subtly exposing the sword at his hip and projecting an aura of fear into the demi-human's mind with his Divine Protection of pathokinesis.
The ability to influence emotions in a target was undeniably useful, but he disliked using it because it made him feel even more like scum than he already was. Now though he could not waste time with less invasive options and just knocking the criminal unconscious would also be the wrong choice. If he could avoid it then Reinhard did not want to raise his hand against civilians.
"Y-yeah. S-s-sorry!" stuttered the man before quickly turning tail in obvious fright.
Nodding curtly to the still shocked lizard woman, he tensed his leg muscles and leaped to the nearest roof to escape whatever feelings of thankfulness she would attempt to convey. In Reinhard's opinion, it was both unnecessary and undeserved. He should not be lauded as a hero for barely doing anything, not to mention that if anybody knew him as the filth he actually was then they would be cursing his name instead.
His improved eyesight spotted Tanya's small, dark form against the backdrop of the bright clouds easily, unconsciously extrapolating her direction and-
Oh...
She was flying towards the royal palace!
No! This was a disaster! If anybody amongst the nobility saw his mistress in her bed clothes then that would lead to a political scandal, damaging her reputation forever! In her disturbed state she needed rest and time to remember what she had apparently forgotten.
It was his duty as her knight and confidant to stop that from occurring!
Silently promising to compensate the unlucky owners of the nearby buildings tenfold, Reinhard used his full strength to propel himself in the direction of the palace. Glass splintered throughout the neighbourhood as the sonic shockwave blew tiles and shingles away and sent the citizens into shrieking chaos. Despite the turmoil he left behind, the knight could breathe out in relief that nobody was hurt as his Divine Protection of life sense told him.
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Tanya smiled lopsidedly, waving at the gatekeeper with unconstrained mirth as she flew by his station at moderate speed. Originally she had planned to just burst through the roof and make a suitably dramatic entrance, but then she thought about all the plaster and stone that could possibly drop into the buffet, so she contented herself with entering the castle through what was the intended way. Nothing was rushing her which meant that she could take it slow and entertain herself with all the useless details that Being X put into this illusion.
Alarmed cries rang out around the compound and more soldiers were rushing in to halt her intrusion, yet Tanya chuckled merrily as she avoided their clumsy attempts to reach her. Halberds and swords were no threat to someone who could move in three dimensions. If the hallways of the castle had been smaller than they would have possibly stood a chance to touch her active barrier, but alas it was designed with pomp and splendour in mind, opposed to defensiveness.
The paintings and decor were nice though...
If her personal wannabe-god was really as overworked as he claimed then how the hell did he have the capacity to create all this? Evidently his time and resource management skills were abysmal.
Another servant hurriedly disappeared into a nondescript room to the side of the main corridor. For the briefest moment Tanya felt the impulse to follow him and explore this dream further, but the thought of a good tasting meal changed her mind instantly.
She was getting increasingly hungry.
And cold, now that she analyzed her body's condition. Flying in a pyjama tended to cause that.
Without thinking about the tactical disadvantage, she constructed a basic thermal barrier around her form and made it reflective to keep her waning body heat inside. On the battlefield nobody would use a spell that gave off such a strong, traceable mana signature, yet here in this fake world she could do whatever she desired. It was liberating to feel so in control for once.
The candlelight began to dance along the walls in spectacular geometric patterns as it was reflected off her magical rescue blanket. Math was a tool, but sometimes it was also exceedingly beautiful. Perhaps she could show off this particular party trick at the next victory celebration.
"Haha... How ridiculous! Maybe I should have become a clown? Seems safer than the frontlines to me... haha..."
An unidentifiable scrap of memory flashed before her inner eye at the mention of the word "clown". That was very strange considering that she had never met a real clown in either of her lives.
"Whatever. Hey, you!" she pointed at a nearby guard in ornate plate armour and dropped down in front of him. His archaic weapon scared her not in the slightest.
He blinked, looking down at her in befuddlement, hand cramped around the hilt of his sword.
"Where is the buffet?"
"Ehm... Wha- uh? Forgive me, Milady, but are you perchance Lady Tanya Degurechaff?"
"Tanya von Degurechaff, please. I worked hard for that title."
"Uhm... of course. I beg for forgiveness, Milady. Then why... uh... are you here? We thought you were sick-"
"Catch the intruder! There!" roared the knight leading the squad of guards who were only now catching up to her. Tanya was nonetheless slightly impressed how fast they were able to move under their cumbersome looking armour.
Her friendly tour guide helpfully moved to intercept the incoming charge like a good meat-shield: "It's alright! Stop! It's Lady Tanya!"
They only marginally lowered their weapons which would have earned them a smidgeon of respect from her if this had been a real situation. Vigilance and mild paranoia were good traits in any soldier.
"What? Truly? That can't be- oh... Would you mind showing us your royal insignia, Milady?"
She smacked her lips in annoyance.
"I don't have any stupid insignia. I am just here for the buffet. Do you have one or do I have to plunder some middle class restaurant in the city?"
All eyes were on her, disbelief written on their faces. It was quite comical actually.
Before the guard captain could open his mouth to retort another voice chimed in from behind Tanya:
"What is this commotion about?"
Whirling around, her hand reaching for a pistol that was not there, she came face to face with a young woman wearing the parody of a military dress. The long, remarkably green hair was what caught her attention immediately, but she shrugged the weird colour off as dream logic.
What was far more bizarre was that the face underneath that peculiar hair was oddly familiar...
"Tanya?"
Why did this woman feel entitled to refer to her on a first name basis? Was this phantasm based on some obscure subconscious memory?
"Should I know you?" Tanya asked in return, visibly taking the greenette by surprise.
"Huh? I am Crusch Karsten! We talked just last week!"
"Yeah, nice try. I won't fall for such a simple trick. Don't think I wouldn't recognize that weak effort to gaslight me."
"Excuse me, tha-" Crush started, only to get physically interrupted when she was thrown off her feet by a gust of air that would have knocked over Tanya as well if a hand had not landed on her shoulder to steady her.
"My Lady! I found you!"
Damn it. That blasted crimson-haired knight did somehow follow her! She just wanted to eat , for Kaiser's sake!
Notes:
What is your favourite dish? I personally love lasagna :)
Also my server: https://discord.gg/wxx22SFgVw