Chapter 52: Chapter 37: LunchChapter Text
"It is not good enough to have either a silver tongue or a sharp tongue. Your tongue must be both sharp and silver if you are to thrive in court."
—Warden of the West, Lady Paramount Cersei Lannister, the Acerbic Lioness
110 AC, Tower of the Hand,
I snapped my fingers, illuminating the glass candle before me. Darkness spun out of it, enveloping the room I was in, coating every surface like oily tar. Only my body, my chair, the table and the candle itself remained untouched. The light from the windows were subsumed, and all other sources of light vanished, and yet I could still see in this bubble of absolute darkness. I waited patiently, before the candle lit up with light, connecting to it's sibling halfway across Westeros and banishing the darkness. Revealing a beautiful room with glass windows showing a picturesque view of the city and the bay.
"Oldtown really is beautiful." I sighed appreciatively, turning to face my father beside me. Viserys sat at the head of the long table, with Alicent at his right and my hologram at his left. Beside Alicent sat her children. It was just the six of us, having an intimate family lunch.
"Agreed, daughter. I think so too." Viserys agreed, the servants scurrying forwards and laying plates of vegetable stew and boards of freshly-baked bread before my family.
I helped myself to my bread—my food was prepared and set on my table in the Tower of the Hand before the call even began—biting into the crispy and moist bun in my hands. It was fried steamed bread, personally cooked by my own hand, and one of my favourite foods. My stew was mushroom soup, the ingredients minced and mixed with puréed pumpkin, giving it a uniquely earthy flavour. My body and the food was in the Tower of the Hand, still moving and eating, but my mind and soul was in Oldtown.
Glass candle communication, I found, had less to do with telephone calls, and more to do with mind projection. The better part of me was now in Oldtown, a ghost of sorts. I was partially translucent, and couldn't touch anything without telekinesis involved, but for all intents and purposes I was now no longer in King's Landing.
"It is good to see you, Father." I smiled, taking a bite out of my bread.
"Agreed. I've missed you too, daughter." The King agreed. "Which is why I arranged this luncheon. Nothing like a good family lunch, that's what I say!"
I nodded in agreement, washing down my bun with water and dabbing my mouth daintily with the napkin as etiquette dictated before speaking.
"So how has your trip been?" I conversationally asked, taking a mouthful of my soup.
"Great fun, Nyra." My father enthused. "Never realised how much I missed, being holed up in the capital all this time. Everyone has been so hospitable to us."
"Yes, making this journey stretch from a matter of weeks to a matter of months." Alicent growled, glaring at me. "I cannot wait to return to the Red Keep."
"Oh, have some fun wife." Viserys chided. "It's a lovely change of pace. Downright relaxing after dealing with the court in King's Landing."
"I'd rather take the court than spend another night in the wheelhouse." Alicent sullenly said.
"Oh, but I thought you liked being outdoors." I innocently said, smiling as vapidly as I could. "You loved those long afternoon flights with Uncle Daemon, didn't you? Always came back with a satisfied glow."
I took a sip of my iced water to hide my grin at the way Alicent's face lit up with rage and fury, before turning constipated and pinched as she forced herself to swallow whatever remark she wanted to shout back at me.
"That was… when I was younger, Rhaenyra." Alicent ground out between clenched teeth. "I'm afraid I'm not as adventurous any more."
"I suppose you're right. It's not as fun without Uncle Daemon." I sighed. "Say what you will about him, but he just knew how to insert a lot of fun into a lady's travels with him."
Oh Alicent was positively furious now, looking as though she wanted to make me spontaneously combust through sheer hatred.
"Agreed." Viserys spoke up, completely unaware of his wife's rage and my implications. "My brother always knew how to make travels interesting. I wish he could be here."
He shook his head, taking another chunk of bread and eating it.
"How is King's Landing? I trust you have no problems running the place?" He asked.
"None at all. The court has been well behaved. My new appointees are both competent and dutiful." I reported, finishing up my stew.
As part of my efforts to decommission the petitioner system, I'd dug up a whole bunch of lordlings from the court, mostly spare sons, and appointed them as officers and magistrates in my new bureaucracy.
Now, when people wanted to petition the King, they would meet a collection of officials, whom sorted out their concerns as quickly and efficiently as possible. All matters of middling import, like smallfolk property disputes and the like, were to be dealt with by assigned magistrates assigned to arbitrate disputes and pass judgement in the name of the Crown. Bigger issues, like merchants petitioning for better trading rights and such were to be sent to the Master of Coin's staff, whom would hear their proposals before bringing the matter up in court. Same thing with the Master of Laws, for people complaining about laws and the like.
This meant that I rarely ever had to hear petitions unless they were truly important, and most of the intriguers found their days filled with petty smallfolk squabbles even as Aegon Bracken and Dalton Blackwood breathed down their necks, rapaciously watching for any misdemeanours. Those two were garnering quite the reputation, as they tirelessly hunted for corruption, desperate to one-up the other.
Mushroom had even composed a torrid ballad about their zealous hunt for corruption and their endless competition. Though some liberties had been taken with the lyrics, unless I missed out on a truly absurd amount of unspoken sexual tension between the two Head Overseers. As far as I knew, those two absolutely loathed each other.
"No issues? At all?" Viserys incredulously asked. As he spoke, the bread and soup were cleared away, plates of stewed vegetables placed in front of the royals. "Are you sure you're in King's Landing?"
"There were a few incidents. Three cases of coercion and bribery." I admitted. "My overseers found them out and reported the guilty officials to me, and I punished them appropriately. Now, none dare step out of line."
Alicent looked dubiously at me, delicately eating her lettuce before speaking.
"What type of punishment exactly?" She demanded, staring me in the eye. "I can think of nothing save mutilation or murder to cow the court."
"The Goldcloak officer that was caught coercing his subordinates into paying him a part of their salaries was made to spend a week going about his duties while wearing a dress." I answered, giggling at the memory of that tall and imposing man being forced to wear a dress with a really short skirt. "That, or be sent to the quarries in the Stepstones."
Viserys was laughing appreciatively, while Alicent looked appalled. I grinned and swallowed a mouthful of stir-fried greens before speaking.
"The two officials whom took bribes were given a choice between the quarries or dancing through the Red Keep in naught but their smallclothes while singing about the virtues of incorruptibility." I said, my father laughing so hard he snorted out his hippocras. "Again, they chose not to go to the Stepstones."
I let my father calm himself down, finishing my stir fried vegetables and sipping my drink patiently.
"Oh good show, daughter!" Viserys praised. "They'll all know better than to cross you now, eh?"
"Indeed. Nobody wants to be the next person I force to humiliate themselves in front of the entire court. They'd become laughingstocks." I giggled.
"Husband, your Hand is clearly not ready for the role." Alicent complained. "Her judgements are immature and childish. She should be removed from duty before the Crown's reputation is permanently tarred."
"And yet I have cowed the court." I reminded her, lacing my voice with sorcery as I spoke. "Childish and immature my punishments may have been, you cannot deny that they have worked."
While a good part of the fear came from how fast my oversight departments caught them, the greater part of it came from how I had utterly ruined the reputations of anyone that crossed me.
Humiliation, I found, worked as a far better deterrent than anything the torturers could cook up. People could withstand great pain and suffering, but humiliation? Having their reputation torn into pieces and made into a laughingstock? That scared them in a way few other things could.
I would know, having been bullied and publicly humiliated many times in a similar manner in the past. And one didn't fight enemies for a long time without picking up a few of their tricks. From my old bullies, I learnt how to torment and shame, beat down and demean. While I was morally against bullying, I made an exception for criminals. And just because they held ranks in my government did not made them exempt from such a title. If anything, it made them more guilty. Coercion and bribery were crimes, no matter how you cut it.
"Nyra is correct." Viserys agreed. "While her methods are certainly… unorthodox, you cannot deny her effectiveness. Why, the Royal Court may well be the most scheming pit of vipers I have ever seen—"
"Dorne!" Aegon exclaimed, waving his fork like a spear. "Vipers and spears!"
"Snakes!" Nineteen month old Helaena agreed, hissing like one. "Ssssssssss."
"Second most scheming pit of vipers I have ever seen." Viserys corrected. "To have made them fear and respect you in such a manner is a praiseworthy feat. I will not contest your appointment or judgements."
"Nevertheless, I think we should return to the Red Keep." Alicent tried. "I am uncomfortable leaving the Realm in the hands of a maid of ten and three. Adult supervision is required."
"Nonsense!" The King exclaimed. "Rhaenyra is a far better ruler than any adult we send to supervise her. She's a better ruler than I am!"
I preened even as Alicent tried to reassure Viserys that he wasn't as incompetent as he thought he was, but we both knew that he spoke the truth. The next course of grilled quail was placed in front of the royals, and I tapped a finger onto my hamburger steak, made from a mix of mashed greens and chicken before being grilled with cheese, heating up the cold dish instantly. It was only when I was halfway through the meal that they finished their argument, my father shutting down his wife.
"Let's change to a less contested topic." I suggested, looking at the couple, whom while neither raised their voice, their argument was long and zealous. "So what are your plans for the rest of your holiday?"
Viserys frowned, stroking his moustache in thought. I looked enviously on at that. I'd always wanted to grow some facial hair, but my Asian genes in my last life, and the fact that I was female in this life, meant that I couldn't grow one in both my lives. I'd still tried anyway back when I was a guy, but even after a month of going without shaving, I barely had any stubble. A fact which was beyond annoying, as my mother's side of the family was quite hairy, and could grow more facial hair in three days than I did in a month.
But alas, it appeared that I'd drawn the genetic short straw and inherited the hairlessness gene from my previous father.
"I have received invitations from many lords of the Reach to tour their holdings. Goldengrove, Old Oak, the Shield Islands, Horn Hill and more. I'm considering accepting." Viserys mused. I knew that; I was the one whom told them to invite him, and delay him as much as possible. And once he was done with the Reach, I would have the Dornish lords invite him to tour Dorne. Once he was done with Dorne, the Stormlands. And so on and so forth. Anything that kept him and my wicked stepmother away from the Red Keep.
"I think you should accept, Father." I suggested, lacing my voice with as much sorcery as I could. "It would significantly shore up my support here in court if you visited the lords of the Reach."
Alicent opened her mouth to protest, but I drummed my fingers on the table, telekinetically poking five-month-old Aemond right in the stomach, causing him to begin wailing and screaming, forcing my stepmother to fuss over him instead of her husband. I'd hoped to kill him by forcing Alicent to give birth prematurely, but the brat had survived, and was unusually robust for someone of his size. I was starting to think that Canon Aemond was also premature, being half the size of Aegon at birth. Aegon wasn't that big a baby, which meant that Canon Aemond was born small to an extent that I'd have recommended a stay in an incubator. Which meant that even without my sorcerous intervention, Alicent would likely have given birth in a few days anyway.
"Yes, that does seem like a splendid idea!" Viserys enthused, Alicent looking up in horror.
"Husband, you may travel if you'd like, but I would have our children returned home." Alicent tried. "Travelling at their age is dangerous."
"Don't want go home!" Aegon insisted, slamming his fist on the table.
"No home!" Helaena agreed, mimicking her older brother's gesture. I wondered if she even knew what she was saying. My baby sister was utterly adorable, but had a tendency to babble words she didn't understand, parroting whatever we told her. I once caught Vaelon and Baelon teaching her swear words, and Helaena innocently repeating them. Needless to say, I wasn't amused. I punished the half-Tarly twins by bending them over my knee and spanking them. And ever since then, none of the Dragonseeds had dared step out of line.
"Should I arrange for the skycart to be brought over?" I suggested. "We can take the children back to the Red Keep and allow the two of you to continue unimpeded for your travels."
"I am not leaving my children!" Alicent insisted.
"If you decide to return back to the Red Keep, I will not stop you, Alicent." Viserys decided, finishing up his quail. "But I shall not be returning with you."
"Don't worry. I may not be Father, but I can ensure your comfort in the Red Keep." I reassured my stepmother. "I'll take good care of you. It'll be like you've gone to the seven heavens."
I watched as debate warred across my stepmother's face, laced with no small amount of fear at my oblique threat. She wanted to return to the Red Keep to keep an eye on me, but without Viserys nearby, whom was to say that I'd not have her assassinated? The King was blind and deaf to Alicent and I. To a remarkable degree. Both of us had exploited this trait of his on many occasions, manipulating him to ignore all of our dirty business.
My stepmother knew that if I killed her, all I had to do was charm my father and claim that I was framed and he'd dismiss all witness testimonies that didn't support me. No raven or rider was faster than sorcery. I'd sell him on my innocence long before any incriminating letter got to him. Unless he was present in the Red Keep during the murder, I could get away with it.
And she'd know I'd do it. House Hightower and my stepmother in particular made no secret that they wanted Aegon as King, not me. Killing her would mean that she couldn't groom Aegon to usurp me, allowing me to raise my younger brother to be my loyal lieutenant. I'd committed matricide once already. I wouldn't hesitate to do it a second time.
"Never mind then." Queen Alicent Hightower got out from between clenched teeth. "I shall stay with my husband and children."
"An excellent choice." I praised, smiling beatifically. "I hear the Reach is beautiful during this season."
"Wonderful! You will enjoy this holiday wife, I promise you that." Viserys enthused, digging into the pastries that were served for desert.
"Yes, I shall." Alicent defeatedly sighed, glaring balefully as I smirked triumphantly.
There really was like a good family lunch. I thought as I uncovered my own desert, grapes chilled in iced water, before popping them into my mouth gently, allowing myself to savour their sweet and sour taste. I'd chased off the buffoon and harpy once more. And without them to check my influence in the capital, it was now time for even more changes. My bureaucracy was swiftly taking shape, and now I could truly make progress on my administrative and civil reforms.
It was now time for the dismantling of the Greens as a court faction.