Chapter 45: Omake 2: FoodNotes:
Hi, Alice again!
I just had to make an Omake complaining about my boyfriend's absurdly low standards for food. As well as his amazing cooking skill.
Like, how does it even make sense? You'd think that people that can eat nearly anything would be terrible cooks.
Anywho, here's the omake. Enjoy!
Chapter Text
"As my sister likes to say: Boys who cook are popular with girls."
-Princess Helaena Targaryen, to her sons
107 AC, Disputed Lands
The Triarchy knew they were there. Dragons the size of Vhagar or Silverwing were nearly impossible to hide. Still, Rhae was of the opinion that the Triarchy wouldn't do anything. They couldn't. Not as long as they stayed constantly on the move. The Disputed Lands were too large for an attack to be launched. Horsemen could find their camp, and Vhagar had already been forced to torch a few outriders, but the Triarchy couldn't transport their siege engines quickly enough to them to make a difference. And without siege engines, going up against eight dragons was, as Rhae coined it, 'Suicide By Stupidity'.
But there were days when Laena wished that the Triarchy would attack and kill them all. It would spare them all the misery that was their food.
The Velaryon scion sighed and poked miserably at her stew. They were travelling light, hence there were only seven of them. Herself, Rhae, Daena, Bell, Daenys, Ser Jonquil and Ser Jessamyn. And because they didn't bring any servants, they were forced to cook their own food.
Success was limited. Rhae had suggested that they take turns cooking, but as things happened, only Ser Jonquil knew how to cook. And even then, her cooking basically comprised of some sordid slop that was a distant cousin to stew. Made up of essentially anything edible, chopped up into small bits before being thrown into a cauldron over a campfire.
And considering that none of them had much prior cooking experience, the quality of food had gone down when the others cooked. It was the sixth day since they set out, and it was Laena's turn to cook. She somehow made Ser Jonquil's food look downright tantalising compared to the slop she made.
Laena didn't realise just how much she took the servants for granted. Back in Oldtown, Rhae had brought eight servants with them to tend to the manse, clean for them and most importantly, cook for them. The Velaryon scion found herself missing them all right now. Even, no, especially Mathilda, that old sack of bile and spite. Mathilda may have been ornery and cantankerous, but that old woman knew how to whip even the most unappetising ingredients into delicious meals.
Rhae's wooden bowl clattered down onto the ground, empty. The Prince of Dragonstone took a long drink from her water skin before speaking.
"That was delicious, Laena." She smiled, cuddling into her side.
"You don't need to lie for my sake, Rhae." Laena sulked. "I'm well aware that I'm the worst cook here."
"Nah, I still think your food is delicious." Rhae smiled. "You underestimate yourself."
Laena squinted at Rhae. She'd grown better of the years at picking up on Rhae's lies, but it wasn't always accurate. Rhae was still the single best liar she'd ever seen, so there were times when Laena just flat out missed it. But this time, all of her instincts were screaming that Rhae was telling the truth.
"Seven Hells, you're serious." Daenys cursed, also realising that Rhae was sincere. "You actually enjoy her food."
There was a ripple of horror around their campfire, as everyone stared at their leader in utter shock.
"Yup. It's delicious." Rhae agreed.
"How is this possible?!" Daena suddenly shouted, jumping to her feet. "You're the most pampered and highborn of us all! How in the world can you tolerate any of this? I expected you to be practically demanding everything at your beck and call, and yet you're the one enjoying this crap the most out of us all!"
Rhae shrugged.
"That's just not me." She languidly said. "Now kindly apologise to Laena for your words. Your food isn't that much better than hers."
Daena turned bright red, but Bell placed a hand on her sister's shoulder and she calmed down, grounding out an apology between gritted teeth. Daena then dumped her half-eaten bowl of stew on the ground before stomping off.
"Apologies, Nyra, Laena." Bell gravelled. "Daena isn't used to it. Her mother always was a good cook, so she never had to subsist on substandard food like this."
"That's true for most of us." Laena agreed. It had set the tone for the past week or so of adventure, their happiness and good spirits slowly dwindling over the days as they lived off increasingly poor food. Truth be told, Laena was just as irritable and dour as Daena currently was, her temper held on a truly short leash. Even the other four, Bell, Daenys and the Kingsguard saw their spirits fall, but they were dutiful enough not to complain, persevering on. Only Rhae seemed immune, genuinely enjoying the fare and often helping herself to the leftovers, a thought which made Laena want to gag.
"How can you do it?" She asked the Prince, as the two of them curled up in their bedrolls. "Consider such horrid food good?"
"I've survived longer on worse." Rhae idly said, cuddling deeper into Laena's bosom. "When I was seventeen, I swore a vow that as long as it was better than what they served at my old secondary school, I would enjoy it. Never complained about any food ever since."
"Not at all?" Laena asked dubiously.
"Never." Rhae paused. "Okay, the food at Pulau Tekong came close, and Pasir Laba Camp was really pushing it, but otherwise no, didn't complain about it."
"Pulau Tekong? Pasir Laba Camp?" Laena curiously asked. "Places from your home?"
"Yep. Pulau Tekong is where my boot camp happened. Pasir Laba was the military camp where my friend worked." She paused. "Poor Joel. I don't know whom he pissed off to get stuck there, but he had to live off the worst food in the SAF for years."
"How bad was the food?"
"Oily and dry tasteless slop." Rhae shuddered. "Made of substandard ingredients and lazy cooks before being served in an unclean cookhouse."
"To be fair, they were army rations." Laena muttered. "I doubt that there's any good food to be found there."
"Oh you'd be surprised." Rhae laughed. "Kranji Camp served this really delectable mutton curry."
She sighed.
"Pity there's no potatoes, tomatoes or rice here to make it." Rhae longingly mourned. "I miss them so so so much."
Laena didn't know what potatoes or tomatoes were, but she did know what rice was.
"Mayhaps one day we should fly to Yi Ti, such that you may bring back rice to plant for yourself." She smiled. "My father had it when he visited there, and he brought some back, but his supply long ran out before I was born."
Rhaenyra cussed under her breath.
"Agreed. I am making that a priority. I don't care how, but I am acquiring myself a stable supply of rice." Rhaenyra declared. "As an Asian, Rice and Beansprouts are my justice!"
Laena giggled and pulled Rhae back into bed, cuddling her tight.
"Is that going to be a royal decree, my Prince?" She asked.
"If I must do so, then so be it." Rhae replied. Laena snickering and holding her lover tight.
The next morning, Laena woke up to an empty bedroll, yawning as she rose. She was just wondering where Rhae was when the most delightful smell found it's way into her tent. She wandered out, salivating at the smell. Gods that smelt delicious.
She wasn't the only one. The Dragonseeds and Kingsguard had also wandered out of their tents, staring at the campfire in uncomprehending shock. Laena blinked the sleep out of her eyes, in hopes that her sleep-addled vision was tricking her, but no. Right by the fireside, humming a song to herself, Rhaenyra Targaryen was cooking.
It was her turn today. Laena remembered sleepily.
Rhae was frying something in a saucepan, stirring the food as she did so. A second fire had been set up, and a cauldron of boiling soup set over it. Inexplicably, she'd hung stale bread over the cauldron, with a lid atop them.
"Oh, good morning everyone." Rhae greeted, not stopping in her stirring. "Breakfast will be done soon."
Everyone was too stunned to say anything, just sitting down around the fireside as Rhae finished cooking. Wooden plates of cooked vegetables and warm bread, with leftover stew from yesterday as a side.
Laena picked up one of the carrots and bit into it, gasping at the taste. Crunchy and juicy, with more flavour than the usual stewing. The bread was not stale, but soft and moist. Even her horrid stew from yesterday had been improved, with a dash of pepper. Her overstewed meat had been chopped into smaller bits, seared over a fire and mixed back into the stew, which had been diluted with water, making it less thick.
Tears left Laena's eyes as she bit into the first good meal she'd had since they left the North. And maybe it was having to put up with substandard meals for the past week, but in Laena's opinion, Rhae's food was better than Mathilda's. Scratch that, this meal was the best she ever had. Beside her, the Dragonseeds seemed to have a similar reaction.
"What is this?" Ser Jessamyn asked, poking at the vegetables. "It doesn't taste like it's been fried or stewed."
"I stir-fried the vegetables with our olive oil, onions and garlic, with added salt for flavour." Rhae elaborated. "It's a Yi-Ti cooking method."
"Seven Blessings, it's so good." Daenys reverently praised. "And the bread? How did you make stale bread soft and moist again? Magic?"
"I steamed the bread over the soup, to bring moisture back into the bread." Rhae said, rapping her spoon on the cauldron. "It's a trick I'd learnt."
"Where did you learn how to cook?" Bell wept, staring awestruck at Rhae. "This is the tastiest food I've ever had."
"My mother taught me." Rhae shrugged. "Said it was a useful life skill. She was right."
Only Laena realised that the mother in question wasn't Aemma Arryn. She silently let out a prayer for Rhae's previous mother, whomever and wherever she was.
"And why didn't you speak up this entire time?!" Daena demanded, Daenys nodding furiously behind her. "All this time we were suffering horrid food and you were right there?!"
"First off, the food was delicious." Rhae indignantly said, everyone gagging in response. "Second, you all insisted that as Prince of the Realm, I shouldn't have to cook at all. Just getting you all to agree to let me take a turn at cooking took literal days. Third, cooking really is an important life skill, I thought that you all should try do it at least once."
"If we get to eat good food like this, then I am willing to learn." Bell announced, her sisters and Laena nodding fervently.
Lunch that day was steamed fish, stir-fried vegetables and steamed bread. Dinner was chicken fried with breadcrumbs, grilled root vegetables and bread seared with a mix of garlic and butter. Everyone openly wept as they ate the delicious food, constantly begging for more, which Rhae seemed unable to refuse.
For the rest of their adventure, Rhae did the cooking.
Barley porridge with steamed fish. Baked fish with cheese. Pork fried in breadcrumbs. Beef and pork ground into paste before being made into flat meatballs, served in a sandwich with lettuce, pickles, onions and cheese. Mushroom stew. Grilled lamb. Stir fried beef and vegetables. Scrambled eggs and chicken.
Laena never believed that she could love Rhae even more, and yet her lover had done the impossible once again.
It was with great reluctance that they left Essos and returned to Westeros. After spending months living off Rhaenyra's cooking, the usual fare served by castle cooks could no longer compare.