Chapter 10: nine: war of heartsSummary:
What can I say, she eventually grows on you.
Notes:
I'd like to thank notsofrilly @ ff.net profusely for ending my dilemma with Chiyuki's ninjutsu! As kindly pointed out, her jutsu isn't to alter magnetic field; she's literally a metalbender. You'll see her struggle a little more with her stamina before I introduce notsofrilly's wonderful idea.
Extra info: Chiyuki's voice has a silvery tone, in case anyone is interested. She'll speak more confidently as the years go by as well.
I do not own Naruto.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Becoming a Hokage 101
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Section Three
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Chapter Nine
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Work at the Intelligence Division is actually quite boring.
Contrary to popular belief, a lot goes on besides interrogation: there're many small departments here dedicated to info gathering (read: stealing), espionage, analysis and, on some cases, autopsy. It all requires much more paperwork than actual work, and for that I would be eternally grateful.
Because of the amount of information that circulates 24/7 here, there's always a team from Archives, from Administration, to help. It's also where we were sent to first, as it was repetitive and boring work, so of course they'd send the genin to do that. Gai got restless after the first day but was determined to do his best, which I admire greatly, but Genma didn't mind it and neither did I. After a week of doing nothing but filling up papers and learning to control my senses so they didn't go haywire, I was actually grateful for spending a great part of the morning cooped up in a backroom with only the three of us.
It meant that I wouldn't hear people whispering, and I was completely okay with it.
Perhaps I blamed my parents and my clan for keeping the Iron Release a secret for such a long time, but it was something that was going to blow up on my face sooner or later.
Thing is, after that spar a week ago, my Iron Release had stopped being a secret, becoming instead something that people wildly speculated about and whispered to each other when they thought I was out of earshot. I never was, but I also didn't have the energy to confront them.
People said all sorts of things, some of which were just plain ridiculous, like that one theory about me being the offspring of an unknown ninja from the Land of Iron. The one that went around the most, though, was the comparison with the Shodaime, or perhaps the one that said I was gifted with something that happens only once every hundred years.
"D'you think she might be related to the Senju?"
"Her teammates don't stand a chance next to someone like that. I feel bad for them."
"Man, clan kids sure are lucky. They don't have to work hard for anything."
"How nice. I wish I had something cool like that."
"Figures the genius princess would have something like that under her sleeve. What else is she gonna do now? Become a hero and end the war?"
Sometimes, it was easy to ignore. I'd grown up hearing people talk about me, so tuning it out had become second nature after a couple of years. Sometimes, though…
Sometimes, it mixes with people's feelings and chakra - their very own energy. Sometimes, my sensor abilities were a curse I wish I hadn't spent time honing. Sometimes, no matter how quietly they whisper to each other, their chakra carries it out and suffocates me, wrapping around my neck like a vicious snake that's determined to witness my dying breath.
'I just want it to stop.'
"Chiyuki, are you done?" Genma's voice sounds tenser than it had been last week, and I just add it to another issue this whole Iron Release thing has brought. After the spar it had looked like he was willing to warm up to me, but after people started whispering around us, well. It went from bad to worse, and I just didn't have the energy to do anything about it.
'I'm so tired.'
"Yes." I say, handing him my finished work so he can put it in the correct drawer. Sitting next to me, Gai is stamping records as if his life depended on it, but I was immensely grateful for his presence and unique personality.
If Genma saw the whispers as a reason to be even more bitter, Gai saw it as incentive to get better and show everyone what he could do with taijutsu alone despite being placed in a team with that weird genius kid they have to call princess.
'I'm not a genius, and I'm not a princess. I'm not anything special. I didn't even want this.'
"Hey, isn't kind of a shame to keep the princess locked up in the archives? She's a genius, isn't she? Why don't they give her better things to do?"
"Why, are you willing to do that for her?"
"Of course not, don't be stupid."
"Why did you ask, then? And it's obviously because of her teammates, isn't it? If she'd been alone, I'm sure they'd be making her take the chunin exams this year."
The temperature in the room drops dramatically after the two people talking pass by, but the damage's been done. Genma looks ready to spring up and punch someone, most likely me, and Gai just looks lost, like he doesn't know what to do.
'How does that song go again? Wake me up when the month ends?'
The two voices stop abruptly, even though they were still within hearing range. Belatedly, I realize Choza-sensei's chakra swirling in a way I'd never sensed before, coiled up and tense. He probably heard the whole thing.
Whispers are traded and a threat is most likely made, but I can't bring myself to care enough. A voice in my head warns me that this is not okay, that not feeling anything is not okay, but before I can pay attention to it, Choza opens the door to the room, smiling in a surprisingly gentle way. Further than they'd been before, I can vaguely sense two chakras stutter and swirl rigidly.
"Mission's over, children! Go home, eat lunch and don't forget to review the notes I gave you. Tomorrow we'll work on our formation again, but today Chiyuki's mine. Get going, chop chop!" It's nearly impossible to not get moving with how much energy sensei has. Everything he does and says has some kind of will underneath it, as if he's not so gently coaxing you to get up and do things.
Genma doesn't even look at me as he leaves, but Gai gives me a bright smile and a thumbs up, and I can't help but give him a small one in return.
'Thank you, Gai.'
A warm hand falls on my shoulder, and I look up to see Choza smiling down at me, his chakra swirling in a way I'd sensed Kakashi's and Tooru's to swirl similarly many times before. He's pissed off but determined to not let it show in front of me, and a surge of affection warms my chest.
'I wonder if it was the first time he heard it. Or if it was just the first time he didn't have time to calm down.'
"I brought a nice bento today. Why don't we find some shade to eat under?"
I nod, letting a tiny smile show on my face. Sensei leads the way to a small clearing that dubs as a training field that no one really uses, where the Hashirama trees hide away a big portion of the midday sun, so the temperature is nice and comfortable. We sit on a fallen log that's been obviously put there for that purpose, and sensei wastes no time in opening two bentos; a huge one for him and a slightly smaller one for me. They're colorful and well-arranged and I can nearly feel the love with which they were made. It's clear the smaller one was made specifically for me, and not just something that was ready and that he just grabbed on the way out; it's full of proteins and whole grains, things that fill you up for a long time without leaving you stuffed, as well a nice selection of fresh fruit for dessert and a bottle of steaming green tea.
"Did you make this, sensei?" He glances at me and I can see his bento looks completely different from mine, with much more carbs and veggies in it.
"Yep! The taste might not be as good as my wife's, though."
Tears sting the back of my eyes for a moment, and I stubbornly blink them back. He's known me for a week, and he already knows what kind of food is best for me, what are my favorites are and how technically I'm still a kid - the sausages are shaped like octopuses, the rice has a panda shape, the fish is cooked and cut so that I don't have to worry about stray bones, the meat's sauce has sprinkles on it -
'How long ago did they decide that I was too old for this? When was the last time I ate something other than perfectly balanced meals made for the hokage's children?'
"It looks delicious, sensei. Thank you." I manage to whisper, praying that he doesn't notice how close to crying I am. I feel his big hand fall on my head, his cheerful voice following soon after.
"Don't thank me just yet! Thank me after you've managed to eat everything without making a face!"
'Choza-sensei is extremely humble.' I think as I take the first bite and relish in the food's softness and texture, how everything was carefully made so that the rice didn't get soggy next to the fish or how there was a separate container for the fruit.
We eat in a comfortable silence, hearing the leaves rustle and the birds chirp occasionally. It's the most content I've felt in days.
"Y'know, I talked to Shikaku about your ninjutsu and we've managed to come up with a pretty neat solution, if I do say so myself." He speaks after we've both eaten, the containers emptied of all food.
"Nara-sama?"
Sensei snorts loudly, almost spilling his tea. The scene is so comical I let out a snort too, and he looks at me with pure amusement in his eyes.
"Please let me be there when you call him that. But yes, Nara Shikaku. He told me about a mission he led a few years ago, when he encountered a pretty interesting shinobi." I lean in unconsciously, always eager for a good story. The fact that it was Nara Shikaku who helped sensei and that he was willing to share parts of a mission was too good to pass. "It was supposed to be a simple mission, but a couple of rogue nin showed up with a technique no one had seen before. It was lucky they had an Uchiha on their team."
As he says that, I feel another chakra signature approaching us. It's unfamiliar and alternates between swirling stiffly and smoothly, as if the person is trying hard at… something. Choza-sensei has nothing short of a cat's grin ('I'm pretty sure there was a purple cat who smiled like that. What was its name again?') as the person reveals themselves.
The middle aged man is clearly an Uchiha, not only because of the clan's symbol on the sleeve, but also because of his body language.
The way he held himself spoke of confidence and experience, but as a ninja, he knew to be aware at all times. The shinobi has all the typical features the Uchiha do: dark hair and dark eyes, face set in a permanent poker face and dark clothes that are light and practical.
He was also the first Uchiha I remember coming into contact with.
See, I knew I'd met the current clan head when I was a baby, but with the pain and the hunger and the memories I gather as I grow up, it was impossible to remember who he'd been. Yet, I'd listened to my father talking about clans enough for me to be able to immediately recognize each one - and, most importantly, how to treat their members.
The man gives a respectful if slightly reluctant nod to Choza-sensei, and my curiosity immediately increases tenfold.
My sensei, for his part, only grins wider and stands up, an action I immediately copy.
"Uchiha-san, thank you for coming."
"...it's nothing."
His voice is nearly emotionless and his words are direct, although his tone isn't unkind. He looks like he'd rather be anywhere else, but he's clearly trying to relax and keep his posture non-threatening. His eyes flicker to me at the same time sensei's hand falls on my head once again, and that's my cue to introduce myself.
'First impressions are everything, Chiyuki.' I hear my mother's voice chid me in my head, but Choza's real voice easily overpowers it.
"This one here is one of my cute little students!"
I make eye contact with the Uchiha, whose first name I still don't know. I don't have to try to make my body relax because sensei's hand is still a warm weight on my head, and I know that there's nothing that can touch me as long as he's here, both physically and emotionally.
'It's just an introduction. Chill. You got this.'
"Hello, Uchiha-san. My name is Sarutobi Chiyuki, it is a pleasure to meet you." I bow exactly like mother had told me to when meeting Uchiha and Hyuga clan members - nothing more and nothing less. When we make eye contact again, there's a calculating look in his eyes, but the rest of his face is carefully blank. A few heartbeats pass, and I remain calm, letting my curious respect seep through. Whether he finds what he's looking for or not, he finally nods respectfully.
"Mamoru is fine. There are far too many Uchiha around."
I nod, not really knowing what to say to that, but thankfully sensei's bright personality prevents the situation from getting too awkward.
"Remember the Uchiha who was on Shikaku's team? It was lucky he was around, else the team might not have been around to tell the story."
If the man was any less of an Uchiha, he would've rolled his eyes with how exasperated he suddenly seemed, but held himself back.
"You give me too much credit, Akimichi-san. As told by yourself, Nara Shikaku was leading the team."
"Just Choza, please! Akimichi-san is my father!"
It's difficult to not feel at ease with sensei's easygoing attitude as even Mamoru relaxed slightly, but he still looked like he wanted to get it over with.
"Then, Choza-san. Shikaku-taicho mentioned you wanted to talk to me."
Going directly to the point didn't make sensei's grin falter; on the contrary, it stayed perfectly in place, though it morphed into a smile when he turned his eyes to me.
"Chiyuki here has an interesting chakra release that might benefit from that ninja's technique. Would you show it to her?"
The Uchiha nods once, activating his sharingan and letting the memory come to life. Neither men mentions the rumors going on about the Iron Release, and that makes me breathe just a tad easier.
"The rogue ninja had an unusual way of handling his earth release. His chakra reserves were average at best, and I imagine he had to get creative. Pay attention to his stance and how he molds his chakra."
Choza-sensei says lowly to me, both of us focusing on the man that steps further away.
All of a sudden, his body suddenly goes slack, as if his bones turned to jelly. The stance, however, is deceptively relaxed, and I see it for what it is.
"It's not a specific stance or anything like that. He's just…"
"-purposefully relaxing his limbs just enough to give unlimited freedom to his movements, yes."
Mamoru raises his leg in what might have been a kick, but before he can do it a ball of earth the size of his head pops up from the earth beneath him and stops just before his foot, and only then does he kick the ball of earth into a nearby tree. It hits its target and the tree explodes in chunks of earth and wood.
Something in my head tingles.
'This… is not entirely unfamiliar. I've seen something like this Before. Maybe.'
As if merely continuing a dance, the man lowers his leg and twists, raising his arm and aiming another earth ball at an innocent tree. It suffers the same fate, and on the ground there are now two perfect holes in a round shape near him.
"The movements are incredibly smooth. It's like a dance."
I can't help but let the awe and the curiosity in my tone of voice. It really had looked like a dance, with smooth and light movements that didn't even look like fighting. I could tell that aside from the chakra he used to mold the earth, not much had been spent, and suddenly everything clicks at once.
I turn excitedly to my sensei, gratitude and wonder and sheer happiness making my cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. I receive one just as wide in return.
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Before I know it, another two weeks go by without incidents, and our time at the Intelligence Division is over. Nothing particularly exciting had happened aside from a chunin teaching us 'pretty standard interrogation techniques' which basically consisted of minor genjutsu and unleashing spurts of killing intent, but thankfully no one had shown us any sort of torture method.
"You're doing well, children! People from T&I have handed in reports with no complaints regarding the three of you, aside from that one time Gai destroyed the wall."
As always, sensei said things with a positive attitude and just the right amount between chastisement and amusement. Gai, to his credit, actually gets red in the ears and starts to defend himself.
"Forgive me, sensei! I saw the spider near Youthful Chiyuki's head and did not think twice about the consequences of my actions! For that, I shall run 300 laps around Konoha!"
Choza-sensei comically grabs Gai by the back of his green suit before he can run off, and Genma and I share a look and snorts.
Genma is… well. A rollercoaster, putting it kindly.
As soon as people stopped talking about it and with my self-esteem back at healthy levels, I dare say things are better between us. Not exactly good, no, because there's still a glint of something in his eyes whenever he looks at me, but so long as people don't compare us, there's a mutual respect.
'You gotta remind yourself Genma is 10, which means he's just as much of a child as you are. Try to be patient.'
As all rumours are wont to do, speculations about my chakra release died out a few days ago. No one speaks a word of it anymore, whether I'm within hearing range or not. The oddest thing, though, is that it died out not in the way gossip does, but in a sudden hush. I suspect Kakashi had something to do with it, seen as chunin went out of their way to avoid his eyes overnight, but well. We haven't been seeing much of each other and both of us have been busy with missions and training. I haven't had a chance to actually talk about it.
"Good work on today's mission, team!"
"We just painted a building, sensei."
"An Intelligence building."
"We painted it most youthfully!"
Our team dynamic is much better too. Perhaps that's something that comes with spending so much time together, but learning each other's quirks and managing it alongside our own gives me a belonging feeling. It's been three weeks, but these three know the real Chiyuki better than many of the Sarutobi clansmen.
"Right! Genma, today you're with me. Gai, remember to work on the pointers I gave you. Chiyuki, you know where to go after this, mhm?"
I nod with a smile, my body nearly humming with the desire to show off and impress and say 'look, look! I did it!'. A couple of years ago I'd be yearning to please my mother. No longer.
'Although old habits die hard, I suppose.'
After a quick stop at Yukari's place for lunch, I walk leisurely to the address I have long memorized. It's only the third time going there, but sometimes I can't help but be amazed at how quick my brain processes things.
The scenery gradually changes. From the training grounds on the outskirts of the village, I walk towards the central part, where the most important buildings are - the academy, the hokage's tower, and the hospital. Right after I pass through this part I reach the main market street, where most of the shops are located and admittedly the busiest part of Konoha by far. Idly, I watch as the buildings gradually change once again, and apartments and houses of all kinds and shapes give shelter to shinobi who live alone and small civilian families.
This part of the village is not exactly pretty but it's highly functional, with small but old shops here and there selling groceries and weapons. Although there are many ninjas who live in the apartments, Aunt had once told me that civilians would rather live here than on the other side of town - where most of the clan compounds are.
I reach my destination soon enough. The apartment is nondescript and looks exactly the same as the others on the same building, but excitement makes it stand out in my eyes somehow. I flare my chakra twice, not daring to touch the door in case there are traps, and not two seconds later the door opens to reveal Mamoru. I nod my head respectfully immediately.
"Good afternoon, Mamoru-san." I say, a bright and eager smile on my face. From inside the apartment the soothing scent of green tea wafts through and reaches my nose, and my smile widens just a tad more.
'Ah, so he was expecting me. Maybe Choza-sensei mentioned it to him.'
The middle-aged Uchiha nods back at me, stepping back and letting me in. "Chiyuki-hime."
I wrinkle my nose at the title but say nothing. The shinobi keeps his blank mask on but there's mirth in his eyes. He knows just how uncomfortable this whole hime thing makes me.
Inside his small apartment the scent of high quality tea is stronger, and the comforting smell relaxes me further. He motions to the chair in the tiny kitchen, putting a plate with some biscuits towards me.
"Tea?"
"Yes, please."
The silence is comfortable. Both of us know exactly why I showed up, but there's no rush to get things over and done with. Besides, neither of us like small talk.
After the tea has cooled down enough to drink and my cup is half full, I choose to break the silence.
"Mamoru-san, I want to be hokage."
It's the first thing I blurt out, but strangely enough I don't regret it. Although the Uchiha hasn't gone out of his way to be kind to me, he still has taken the time to teach me honestly and patiently. His eventual pointers were key to the new style I developed, and something in me wanted to be honest with him. It's not something I can explain, it's just… a gut feeling. Something that tells me he's good and reliable behind the cold Uchiha façade.
Mamoru-san merely blinks and sips more of his tea, but he doesn't look surprised. It's not a secret and he's probably heard someone talking about it, but I still wanted to tell him personally for reasons I can't quite figure out.
He spends a few seconds sipping his tea and letting the moment drag on, and only when it starts to become awkward does he answer.
"Aa."
"You don't sound surprised."
"I'm not."
"Did you know?"
"People talk about it every once in a while."
Another long moment goes by, but this time neither of us is sipping tea. I'm looking into endless dark pools at the same time he seems to be looking for something, just like the day we first met. This time, however, he nods and resumes drinking his tea. Curiosity is a little worm nearly eating me from the inside, but I refrain from saying anything and grab a biscuit to munch on.
I'm halfway done with my second biscuit when the Uchiha finally speaks his mind.
"You're different."
"Pardon?" He spends a moment regarding me with cool dark eyes, but there's a hint of something warm in them.
It's the first time I see something like this coming from him, and the feeling both excites and scares me.
"On that day two weeks ago I met the youngest daughter of our Hokage. She was prim and proper, but there was no energy behind her movements. I agreed to help her, mostly because it was a favor I owned Shikaku."
I reach forward in my chair, tea and food forgotten in front of me. There was no reason to feel offended by his words because they were all true - I'd been on the verge of depression, and he'd seen me at my worst.
"I gave her a seed, not expecting her to do much with it. Turns out she didn't."
I know better than to interrupt, although I'm itching to defend myself and tell him all I've managed to do with that technique he'd shown me once. Mamoru-san continues as if unaware.
"The one who took that seed and planted it on fertile soil was Chiyuki, an ambitious and determined young girl who aims to one day be hokage. Today, I see no trace of the girl from that day."
'Don't cry. Don't cry. Do not cry Chiyuki or I'll put a kunai through your thigh just to have an excuse to leave.'
"I believe that if it's the Chiyuki I'm looking at, then she'll be a fine hokage."
My throat feels dry, nevermind the tea I just drank.
Uchiha Mamoru-san is an adult. Not a genin adult, or an ANBU adult - those aren't even proper adults. No, he's an honest to God, full-fledged adult who's seem more than his fair share in life and knows things aren't just black and white. He comes from a strict clan who demands nothing but perfection from each and every one of its members. He doesn't care whether I've got the connections to be hokage or not.
He's also telling me he believes in me. I can only think of another one like him who also told me-
'Sakumo-oji.'
"Sometimes I get lost." I manage to croak out, emotions overwhelming me one after the other.
"Don't lose sight of who you are and what you fight for." He says, not missing a beat. He's straightforward but not unkind, a calm energy swirling within him and seeping through his chakra.
"I don't want to be recognized solely by the clan's name."
"I said who you are, not what you are."
"...I just want to be worthy. To right wrongs and make things better. To walk alongside the villagers and work to see Konoha prosper."
"If you keep those goals in mind, you'll be a hokage I'm looking forward to following."
"I don't want people to follow me. I want people to walk next to me."
Then, he smiles. It's small and barely an uplifting of the lips, but it's sincere and immediately makes him look younger. Mamoru-san looks oddly proud and I feel in the clouds.
"Then I'm looking forward to walking next to you, Chiyuki."
.
.
"Did you enjoy your last day of freedom, children? Tomorrow we go back to missions and we'll also have another free-for-all spar, this time with the things you've learned so far. I've been keeping a close track of your progress, so stay sharp!"
"Yes, sensei." All three children answer him the same thing with varying degrees of excitement. Gai is nearly vibrating next to me, eager to go off on his individual training with Choza. Honestly, sensei had given all three of us a practical chart with our abilities and weaknesses, things we needed to focus on and small milestones we had to achieve by the next individual training.
I don't remember seeing anything like this in canon, but then again there was a lot going on that wasn't shown. Besides, the jounin sensei we saw most often was Kakashi, and he didn't exactly receive the 'teacher of the year' prize.
It was personalized according to each of our objectives and our progress rate. I knew Gai had milestones related to taijutsu but other skills as well, so that he indeed became a taijutsu master but had other things to rely on should the need arise. My own chart had a variety of things, from meditation time to stretching and speed and hours of reading, and the milestones varied each time; during the first week, my milestone was to not become sick everytime I entered the T&I building, which is harder than it sounds. The next week, I needed to last at least ten minutes using my new ninjutsu style, and surprisingly enough that wasn't very difficult. This week, I was told to read all kinds of basic ninjutsu and chakra manipulation scrolls, which, yeah, helped a lot. I also have a personal milestone this third week, although it doesn't depend solely on me.
"Chiyuki, Genma, I want you to work on the notes I wrote on your charts. Genma, make sure you work on that genjutsu; Chiyuki, read up on that scroll I gave you."
"Yes, sensei."
Then Choza gives us all a bright and proud smile, and in a flash he disappears with a most willing Gai. Genma has barely said his goodbyes when I determinedly call out to him before he can go off on his own.
"Genma."
The teenage boy turns around almost grudgingly, nearly every muscle in his body urging him to ignore any unnecessary contact with me. The senbon in his mouth moves agitatedly, but I refuse to back out. I need to do this.
"When you get lost, look to your team. Trust them with your life. More often than not, it'll be in their hands, so make sure you're in good terms with them. If you can't do that and talk things out, how will you lead hundreds of people with different circumstances?"
Mamoru-san's advice flashes in bright colors in my head, making me feel embarrassed and frustrated that I let the white elephant stand in the living room for so long, unaddressed.
"Will you please spar with me? I don't have a lot of experience against people bigger than me."
I can see something skid to a stop on his brain, and I suspect I caught him completely off guard. I remain calm and relaxed, my expression open and curious. I did want to spar with Genma, but I also wanted him to quite literally beat whatever grudge he had on me and hopefully make up.
He only hesitates for a brief second before he shrugs casually, turning back around and searching my face.
"Sure. Taijutsu only?"
"Yes, please. No weapons. I really need to work on my hand-to-hand combat skills."
Perhaps it's the way I speak so casually of my flaws, or the honest humility he sees. Either way, his walls slowly but surely crumble before my eyes, and I cheer mentally.
'I'll make you my friend yet, Genma.'
We move to a small training ground not far from the academy. It's not very used because of the small space, but for a taijutsu spar between genins it's more than enough.
Standing across from each other with a good three meters between us, I see Genma put away the senbon he'd been chewing on, getting into a stance that had much more of Choza-sensei than the academy style. I can already tell he's improved a lot since we were put into teams.
Two tense seconds pass, and during the next he's practically flying at me with all the lethality of someone who went through all five years of the academy and has much more experience than I do. His strikes are fast and objective and he doesn't really let me recover or think; I just barely have time to defend myself, my stamina already dropping.
He feints a punch only to purposely miss and crouch so he can kick me in the knee. I grunt, trying to ignore the pain for the moment and headbutting him in an unexpected move for the both of us.
'...well. It worked, at least.'
I take advantage of his pause to switch to the offensive, making sure my strikes are quick but efficient, using my flexibility to its fullest. Genma blocks my outstretched palm and twists my arm backwards painfully, but I manage a kick to his own knee and he lets me go. I sidestep out of his reach before he can recover and reappear above his head, twisting my legs around his neck only for him to grab me with surprising strength and throw me off him.
'I need to end this before I start getting tired. Stamina doesn't grow in trees.'
I sprint off towards him, twisting out of his reach and striking him with the tips of my fingers, palms firmly stretched out. I hit his ribs and his kidneys, two spots Choza-sensei had early on warned me to memorize, and he falls to his knee. The teenager weakly kicks me in the chest before I can hit him again, and on his eyes there's much more than mere frustration; there's something completely unguarded, something that isn't quite hate but rather a deep resentment that mixes with jealousy.
A light bulb goes off in my head just as Genma snarls and gets on the offensive again, but this time I'm too tired and he's too irate for me to be able to avoid his strong hits. The match has gone on for all of six minutes and I refuse to let frustration take over me now.
'This isn't about you, Sarutobi. Get over it.'
One second I'm desperately trying to block a series of quick kicks; on the next, I'm lying on my back staring up at the cloudy sky, my right cheekbone hurting in a way it wasn't just a moment ago.
For a while, it's quiet.
Both of us are panting, but Genma recovers much faster than I do. His face blocks my view of the scarce sun, a bunch of complicated emotions flying around his face. He almost grudgingly extends a hand out to me, helping me up, and we do the handshake for reconciliation.
"I knew you packed a punch, but damn. I don't know whose beating was worse, yours or Gai's."
In a split second, his face morphs into a snarl just as he roughly grabs me by the front of my kimono, and although there's a surprising amount of frustration and suppressed anger in his movements, both of us know he wouldn't dare hurt me for real. There's too much going on, but his ninja career might as well be over should he try.
The fact seems to anger him further and he shakes me, desperation coloring his movements and angry tears rolling down his face. I immediately feel bad.
"Genma-"
"SHUT UP!"
I can do little more than stare, completely baffled by the turn of events. The teenage boys visibly tries to get himself together, but that only seems to make the tears fall faster.
"Shut up." He says, much weaker than before. "You don't know anything."
"Then explain to me." I say softly, and his angry eyes snap back to mine. "Please help me understand."
Genma shoves me again, but this time there's no real heat on his movements, just a deep tiredness that breaks my heart in tiny little pieces. I have a feeling of where this is gonna go, but seeing it - actually experiencing it - reminds me of clan meetings and expectations and guilt and pleasepleaseunderstand-
"You", he sniffs loudly, apparently forgetting he's holding me up, "you just have to be perfect, don't you?"
'Ah.'
Something bitter and repulsive fills my lungs and throat and mouth and for a split second I think I'm going to throw up on the boy's face.
"I'm not perfect, you know that." I whisper, and I remember a time when my brothers would look at me like-
"Yeah, I know, but no one else seems to. You're our esteemed Hokage's daughter, the prodigy, the one with a chakra release like the Shodaime's and you got perfect manners and you talk like an adult and it fucking pisses me off."
The words are so sad and his face looks so pained that I have to bite my lip to keep my own tears at bay.
'There you go, Sarutobi. Your first real confrontation with someone who's constantly compared to you and doesn't know or doesn't care why you act like a mini adult.'
"I thought I'd be free of it after I moved out. I thought that living away from my aunt would make things better. But guess what; it didn't. Did you know she goes out of her way to rub your achievements on my face?"
I swallow roughly, not having the confidence or the words to answer that.
"'Chiyuki-hime is so respectful. Why don't you follow her example?' 'Chiyuki-hime has such polished vocabulary, she must read a lot.' 'Chiyuki-hime is so young and so strong already, as expected of our Hokage's youngest.' Chiyuki-hime this, Chiyuki-hime that-"
"I'm so sorry." I manage to croak out, not recognizing my own voice. There's something utterly fragile and raw on his face that I can't help but let my own tears fall. I honestly have nothing else to say. "I'm so, so sorry."
Genma finally releases me, more like an afterthought. Tears still fall down freely down his face and there's snot coming out of his nose, both of us bruised from the spar. I don't know what kind of face I'm making, but his own relaxes just the slightest bit. When he speaks, his voice sounds hoarse, but surprised.
"You're honestly sorry." The teenager sounds so baffled to realize that and I sniffle, not caring about being proper or appearances or chinupChiyukiyouare-
"I am." I reply just as hoarsely, messily wiping my face with my sleeve. "I'm truly sorry this happened - is happening to you. I promise it was never my intention."
Genma keeps quiet, a mystified look on his face. It feels as if he's looking at me with an entirely new set of eyes.
"I-", I clear my throat and bite my lip, trying to keep the tears at bay, "I'm… did you know the doctors told my parents I wouldn't live past my first year of life?"
"What?" He blurts out, completely thrown off by both the confession and the turn of the conversation.
"Yeah. When I was born, something was messing with my chakra, and no one could figure it out. By the time someone got Tsunade to take a look at me, it was too late. They said my body couldn't contain the mess that was my chakra and that soon my heart would stop."
The boy sombers up, not bothering to clean his face. Instead, he seems focused on the words that I whisper - and even though they're whispered, now that they're finally in the open I might as well have shouted them.
"But my mother is very stubborn, and she managed to come up with a seal that balanced my chakra." I tap my exposed forehead, where the two black lines are. "She expected me to live. And since then, she expected much, much more of me. I kept meeting them until I knew better."
"Chiyuki-"
"She wanted me to become clan heir."
His eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets.
"What?"
"Even though Tooru-nii was quite obviously born first and thus earned the right to it way before Asuma or I, even though he's been training for it during his entire life, even though it's not fair."
By this point, I'm crying again, but I'm desperate to make Genma see I don't do it on purpose and that I'm not proud of it.
"I didn't want this. I didn't want to be different, I didn't want to stand out." I choke out a sob, tears blurring my vision.
I need to get this out.
"I'm truly, deeply sorry that your aunt keeps comparing the two of us, but please, please understand I don't feel any better because of it. My brothers are compared to me every single day and each time it happens I want to throw up because it's not fair."
Then his hands are shaking me again, but it's more like a wake up call than anything else. We're both two bruised, battered, crying messes of kids and I don't know who's trying to comfort who.
"I accept your apology."
That only makes the tears fall faster and I'm full out sobbing and screw manners-
"Oof."
I end up tackling both of us to the ground, and it's not until a good while has passed and all the tears have dried - for now - that I gather the courage to ask.
"Hey, Genma. Who's your aunt?"
"Satoru Mina. She says she bumps into you every so often."
I groan loudly, face flaming in embarrassment and guilt. I bury my face on the boy's stomach and he laughs.
The sound is enough to make me cry again.
.
.
"Well, don't you two look cute today!"
I'm not sure if Choza-sensei is being ironic or if he's being honest. Genma and I look worse than we did yesterday, with not only bruises but also big, puffy red eyes from all the crying. However, we look at each other, and although Tooru had thrown a fit yesterday, I feel much lighter. Breathing is a lot easier, and I feel as if I could take on the whole world right now.
'He sees it. He truly understands I don't mean to do it.'
"Thanks, sensei." Genma answers, but in his voice you can clearly hear the sarcasm.
"You're welcome, you're welcome. Now, there's been a slight change in plans and we'll join another team during the next few weeks. From tomorrow onwards we'll be sleeping there, so make sure you prepare accordingly, hm?"
"That is Most Youthful, sensei! And where are we going?"
Admittedly, I should have known when I sensed three very familiar chakras not far from us. One of them is nearly as familiar as my own, a signature I've known ever since we were both three years old.
"Welcome, children, to your first mission at the outposts! This is team Minato, and I'm sure many of you already know each other."
I have a second to realize I'm falling to my knees when the headache hits me. Kakashi is next to me in an instant, and right beside him is a blonde man with sky blue eyes.
.
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Constructive criticism is more than welcome, but if you're gonna be an asshole about it, then just don't bother.
Question: If you were a ninja, what would be your weapon of choice and why?
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Notes:
Happy Holidays, y'all. Thank you so much for the support so far. I'll see you next year!
If you have any headcanons/situations in particular you'd like to see, hit me up at ichika . writes @ gmail and we can talk about it!