Chapter 31: Possibilities Decreasing, Regrets MountingNotes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Dear Kacchan,
This is goodbye. I'm sorry if you don't really care, but I guess part of me still hopes that you will. Don't worry, this will be short.
I just want you to know that this isn't your fault, even if you told me I should. You were right, after all. You don't need to look for me. You don't need to stop me. By the time you read this, I should already be gone.
I know you hate me, but I have one last request. Please take care of my mom. Don't let her be the one to find my body.
I'm sorry I couldn't become a hero with you. I'm sorry I was quirkless and useless. I wish things could have been different.
Sincerely,
Deku
Dear Mom,
I love you. I want you to know that. Whatever anyone tells you, I want you to know that I didn't do this because of you. It's not your fault. I love you. I really do. I just can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.
I can't apologise enough. I know how much this will hurt you, and I hate myself for doing this to you, but it will be better this way. Trust me.
I don't want to hurt you. Although I guess it's too late now. I never wanted you to know what I was thinking, how I was feeling. I can't even remember when I first started thinking that I wanted to die. I just wanted to be a good son, a good friend, a hero. But I can't have that.
You've always been a wonderful mother. You deserve so much more than a son like me. So please just forget about me.
Don't look for me. It's not your fault, I promise. I love you. And I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
Izuku
The notes are hand written, on sheets of unassuming notebook paper. In some places, the ink has been smudged by droplets of water. The papers themselves are incredibly crinkled, like they had been wadded up and then smoothed out. He can't tell if it was from Kacchan's negligence, or his counterpart's.
Izuku stands in the center of Kacchan's room, floating he thinks, or he must be, because he can't seem to feel the ground underneath him. He clasps the paper in his hands, wrinkled and burnt at the edges, and tries to read the words again over the blood rushing in his ears.
He can't seem to manage it.
Everything feels so cold, so far away, so surreal. He could almost believe he's dreaming.
"Deku." Kacchan uses his quirk to pop harmless sparks in front of Izuku's eyes. "Snap out of it."
Izuku rips his eyes from the paper, locking onto those of his friend. "Why?" He chokes over the word, his voice wet from the incoming tears.
"I wouldn't...I couldn't…"
His legs buckle and he lands heavily on Kacchan's bed, tears flowing down his face. Kacchan stands there silently, his hands in his pockets and a scowl twisting his lips.
"You didn't." He responds, sounding so sure. Izuku sobs, quickly stifling it. "You didn't." He repeats, firmer. "You're right here."
Izuku sobs harder, his lungs heaving, his hand clamped so hard over his mouth that it hurts. Because Kacchan doesn't know. He doesn't know.
But Izuku does. He does now. The proof is in his hands, tearing his whole world apart. It's not a fake, as he had hoped. It's in his handwriting. And he wishes he could say with absolute certainty that it was forged, or coerced out of the other Izuku, but the fact is, he can't .
This timeline is different from his, Izuku has already seen. And this is one explanation that has been staring him in the face from the start.
Izuku just doesn't want to believe it.
"Deku c'mon." Kacchan says, irritation leaking into his tone. "You're alive. You're fine. You don't even remember it."
Izuku brings his head out of his hands, and stares at the blonde, shocked and a little indignant. He knows he can't blame Kacchan for this, but it still stings so, so much .
From Kacchan's perspective, obviously Izuku is sitting right in front of him, non-suicidal and very much alive. For Kacchan, Izuku is upset because he doesn't want to think of himself as someone who would do such a thing (which is partly true), but nevertheless Izuku is living and breathing so everything is fine.
For Kacchan, he has lifted a burden off his own shoulders and unknowingly placed it upon Izuku's.
"I'm sorry ." He snaps, voice breathless and borderline hysterical. "That I'm getting emotional after finding out I tried to kill myself!"
And he can't allow his mind to remind him that it probably wasn't a 'try' at all.
Kacchan's eyes widen and he shushes Izuku quickly. They wait in tense silence, to see if either of the Bakugous come to check on them, and then Kacchan sighs.
He ruffles a hand through his hair and glares at the ground. "I wasn't...that's not what I meant. I just…" A noise of frustration rips from his throat. "Fuck Deku I'm...it's just...it's good, isn't it? That you're alive?" He looks up, eyebrows scrunched together, eyes uncertain. Izuku doesn't know what he is trying to get at, and then it dawns on him.
Kacchan is asking a question.
'Are you going to do it again?'
More tears, hot and blinding, spill from his eyes. Izuku bites his lip to stop the sound from escaping, although he's not very successful.
Is it good? That he's alive? Yes, it's good. He thinks. He hopes. He doesn't want to die at least. He's definitely not going to try...to try...something like that.
It's just...he can't deny thinking that this is his fault. Somehow. If he'd just...gotten here sooner. Done something, then maybe, maybe...
"Deku." Kacchan says again, his face somehow closer than before. "Calm the fuck down."
Izuku feels hands on his shoulders, heavy and warm and he sucks in a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. His lungs heave and he coughs, trying to get more air. It doesn't work.
The hands on his shoulders tighten and then release. Someone grabs his hand and holds it up to a chest, the pulse under his fingertips racing almost as fast as his own. It sounds like someone is talking to him.
"Fuck Deku. Breathe. Match my breathing. Fuck. Come on. Deku. Fuck. Just calm down."
The words break through something in his head. Izuku nods as he hyperventilates, squeezing his hand tighter into the fabric of Kacchan's shirt. He just. Breathes. As much as he can. He breathes.
"I'm n-not-" Izuku finally gets out. "I w-wouldn't-"
"Yeah fine. You won't. I got it." Kacchan answers, his wrist still around Izuku's own as he shifts uncomfortably. It takes a few more minutes before Izuku can muster the strength to drag his hand away. Kacchan backs up as soon as it leaves. Through the water in his eyes, Izuku thinks the blonde looks rather unsure of himself.
He just- this is a lot. More than he ever could have imagined. If the notes are true...if the other Izuku really...if he really died, then what did that mean? What would he tell this Izuku's mother? What would he do when he returned to his own dimension- if he even could return to his own dimension- would he just...leave these people? Leave his friends and family again? Could he do that?
All this time, him pretending to be the real Izuku, it was supposed to be temporary. And now? What can he do? He's created a whole new life, a whole new person, for someone who is apparently dead. How can he fix that?
"Kacchan I…" He wipes at his eyes, his face considerably wet. "W-what do I do?"
There is no right answer to this, no answer at all, and Izuku is not surprised when the blonde doesn't give him one. He stares at his hands, at the notes held within them. He just...can't believe it.
"What happened...on that day?" He asks aloud. He looks to Kacchan, lost, so lost. But he needs to know. This isn't something he can ignore, however much he doesn't want to talk about it. This is his first clue. He has to-
"Deku, I don't-"
"Tell me." Izuku interrupts, cutting off the protest before it can finish leaving Kacchan's lips. He feels empty. Defeated. As if someone else is speaking these words and not him, but he still needs to.
The blonde sneers at him. "So you can break down again? Yeah right."
Before the words can register in Izuku's mind, Kacchan softens his expression and glances away, his voice lowering to an almost inaudible mumble. "I shouldn't have even told you in the first place."
Izuku blinks, fists crumpling the paper still in his grasp. "No. That isn't...that isn't for you to decide."
Kacchan glares back at him, anger, always anger, burning in his bright red eyes. "Look at you!" He hisses, at least trying to keep his voice down. He snatches the notes from Izuku's limp hand and waves them around. "I shouldn't have fucking told you!"
"I'm not-" Izuku takes a deep breath. He tries to think, to center himself, but he can't seem to focus. "Kacchan I'm...it's good that you told me. I needed...I needed to know."
The blonde stares at him skeptically, his eyes far too searching for Izuku's liking.
"But I need to know the whole story. How did you get these? What happ-?"
"Why." Kacchan demands, not a question at all.
If Izuku was in a better state of mind, perhaps he would be angry, or desperate, but not now. Right now, he's just tired. So unbelievably tired.
He clenches his fists, trying to feel something. "Because." He says, realizing there are more tears- Why is he always crying?- falling down his cheeks.
"Because I need to know." He whispers, trying to steady his breathing so he won't dissolve into another panicky mess.
"Need to know what?" Kacchan asks, an edge to his tone.
Izuku stares. He doesn't have an answer. Frankly, he doesn't have time to waste arguing with Kacchan, not that it's much of an argument. Why doesn't the blonde ever make anything easy? Why does every exchange of words between them feel just as exhausting as a physical battle?
"If it was you…" Izuku starts. "If it was you...wouldn't you want to know too?"
He looks at his childhood friend. There has to be something he can say. Kacchan's eyes are on the notes in his hand.
"I wouldn't-" He cuts himself off, then frowns.
"I thought so too." Izuku agrees. A moment later he sighs, smearing the tears on his face as he attempts to wipe them away. "So I need to know why."
Kacchan huffs. He looks at Izuku and then quickly glances away.
"Fine." He says, like it's the last thing he wants to do. "I'll fucking tell you."
Izuku waits, not wanting to say something that'd have Kacchan change his mind. He watches as his childhood friend paces, ever present irritation displayed on his face.
"Like I said, I saw you at the school for the last time. I left, fucked around with those extras for a while, and then I went home. When I got to my house, there was a paper taped to the front door." He frowns. "I thought it was from the hag, at first, cause she and dad always leave after me in the morning and come home after me at night. But it wasn't."
Izuku shifts on the bed, his eyes inadvertently falling to the papers in Kacchan's fist as he waves his arms animatedly to speak.
"I figured, I just saw you. I just fucking saw you, so maybe I could catch you, you know? Stop you from doing something stupid. " He growls, paper crinkling in his hold. "I ran to your house, figured you'd still be there or some shit. Except when I got there, no one answered the door. I pounded on it, but no one came. I know you and Auntie always keep a spare key outside though, so it didn't take me long to find it and go in, but-
...You weren't there." He takes a deep breath like he's trying to control his breathing. "I saw another note- another fucking note on the counter and I snatched it without thinking. I figured,...well I figured if you were...if you were gonna do it , if you had really listened to me...then there was only one place you'd be."
Izuku breathes shallowly, not daring to interrupt. He has to listen, has to hear this, but he wishes he could close his eyes, close his ears and will it all away like a bad dream. Why... just why did this have to happen?
"I ran to the school." Kacchan continues. "I fucking...I was ready to stop you. I was going to...but…" He releases a grating breath of air. "You weren't there. You weren't fucking there! And I looked everywhere! I kept looking! Even when the weeks passed and there were no clues. Even when I knew that it was probably too late. That all we'd find would be a-" He inhales sharply, falters in his next step. "I couldn't give Auntie the note, I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't let them stop looking for you! Because you couldn't... I didn't think,...Deku, you never listen to me...I never thought you would actually-"
Izuku moves from his seat and closes a hand over Kacchan's shoulder, cutting off his friend's rant. The blonde glances at it in surprise before he shakes it off, turning his back to Izuku.
"You fucking idiot." Kacchan says, voice thick. "You stupid fucking shitty dumbass."
"I'm sorry." Izuku replies, numb. He doesn't know what else to say. "I'm sorry."
Kacchan snorts, back still to him. "Where did you go?" He asks. "Where did you go Deku? Why don't you remember? Why were you gone for five months?" He talks in a way that reveals he doesn't actually expect any answers. Not that Izuku has any to give. He's been asking himself the same questions…
"Wait." Izuku looks at Kacchan, a thought forming in his head. "Why was I gone for five months?"
The blonde spins around, confusion clear in his red-rimmed eyes. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He continues to stare as if Izuku lost his mind. "Since you didn't...well… you know ." Kacchan glances away but Izuku can fill in the blank, "...since you didn't, then someone had to have kidnapped you or some shit, right? You said it yourself. That's what the police think."
Izuku ignores him, absently waving his response away. Because this is something that Kacchan won't be able to help him with. This is important , he doesn't know how yet, but it must be. "The forest…" Izuku mumbles to himself. "I was missing for five months, and then I woke up there…"
Kacchan scoffs. "A forest? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"
Izuku frowns. "I wrote those the day I disappeared." He explains, gesturing to the notes in Kacchan's hand. "And yet I came back five months later...why the jump in time?"
He doesn't say what he really wants to. But he thinks about it. If the other Izuku had died, on the day the notes were written, then why did he show up when he did? Whatever brought him to this world...would it really wait that long? Why did he appear after so much time? Was it even related to the other Izuku at all, like he had assumed?
It doesn't make sense. The other Izuku is dead, he has to accept it, but maybe... maybe...
"I need to go." He tells Kacchan, moving towards the door. Kacchan beats him to it and blocks it with one hand.
"Go?" He inquires, voice low. "Go where?"
Izuku tries to pull the knob without pushing the blonde away and it doesn't budge. He turns to Kacchan, sniffling away the last of his tears. "To Aldera." He explains, because he is on the verge of something, he can feel it, and he needs to go so he can figure it all out.
Kacchan knocks him away from the door. "Aldera?" He asks, volume rising. "What?! Why?"
And Izuku frowns, not quite sure why Kacchan sounds so agitated. Izuku needs to retrace his steps. In light of this new information, he has to consider everything in a different way.
"I'm trying to figure this out." Izuku reasons. "I'm going to retrace my steps on that day." He moves towards the door again and opens it easily when Kacchan offers no more resistance.
Whether the other Izuku is dead or not...he has to see this through. Until he finds out whatever waits for him at the end of it all.
He reaches the front door of Kacchan's house before the blonde speaks up from behind him.
"I'm coming too."
Izuku whirls around so fast he almost runs into the blonde. "What?!" He chokes out. "Why?!"
Kacchan narrows his eyes, his lips set in a grim line. "So you don't do anything stupid. Now let's go."
He pushes past Izuku, knocking shoulders with him, before Izuku can process what he said or even protest. He hears Kacchan yell something at his mother about going out, which snaps him out of it.
He follows his friend hastily out of the Bakugou home after the blonde leaves first.
"Kacchan I-"
"If you're gonna tell me to stay, then save it. I already said I'm coming with you." He relays matter-of-factly. His hands are shoved in his pockets and he doesn't look at Izuku, just walks in the direction of their middle school.
Izuku wrings his hands, not quite sure if this is a good or bad development. He doesn't necessarily hate the idea of someone accompanying him, he definitely doesn't want to be alone right now, but he fears what Kacchan could discover while Izuku is so...rattled.
They walk in silence and he pulls out his phone to shoot a short text to his mother. He tells her he's going on a walk with Kacchan, which isn't a lie. She responds a moment later with an "okay sweetie!" and a heart. Izuku stares at the heart for a long few seconds.
He thinks of the note addressed to his mother. The one that she never got to read. He can't deny that he's thankful that she never saw it, however unintentional it was on Kacchan's part. It really would've broken her heart if she knew. Anger surges through Izuku at his other self for even doing such a thing. How...why would he go through with it?
It's not long before him and Kacchan arrive outside the gates of Aldera Junior High School. Izuku looks up at the building, somehow much more foreboding at night, and takes a deep breath.
"You know…" He says, trying to see exactly how long Kacchan will follow him for. "You could get in trouble for trespassing." He sneaks a glance at Kacchan, who simply scowls and then uses his quirk to blast himself over the gate. Izuku sighs.
"Right."
Later, they walk side by side down the halls of the school after Izuku expertly picks the lock of the building. It's dark to the point where they can only see shadowy outlines of each other, and unnaturally silent. Izuku feels on edge, his heart racing, even when he's done things much scarier than going to an empty school at night.
"So what are we doing here exactly?" Kacchan whispers, his voice still so loud in the hallways that it makes Izuku jump. He presses a hand over his heart as if that could quiet it's beating.
"We're going to the classroom. C'mon." He whispers back.
Kacchan grumbles something, but follows obediently anyway until they arrive outside their classroom. Izuku makes quick work of this lock too and slides the door open.
"Since when could you pick locks?" Kacchan asks, and although Izuku can't see him, he can hear the frown in his tone.
Izuku offers no explanation and walks into the classroom first.
The desks are all arranged in neat rows, exactly as Izuku remembers. Moonlight shines through the windows, illuminating the room and giving the pair far more light than they had in the hallways. Izuku meanders through the desks until he reaches his own, brushing his fingers over the lacquered wood.
On the day he disappeared, he had to get a new desk. Kacchan blew up his old one because of the high school applications. He wasn't happy Izuku applied to UA. Then, after the bell, there was the incident with the notebook, and then Kacchan said…
He closes his hand into a fist and inhales deeply.
"What now?" Kacchan inquires, staying rooted to his spot by the door. His eyes are on Izuku, watching his every move through a narrowed gaze.
Izuku bites his lip, casting a look over the classroom. "This is it. The last place you saw me…" He walks towards the window and opens it.
"Hey!" Kacchan shouts, crossing the room in an instant to tug Izuku away by the back of his shirt. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
Izuku blinks. "I'm...just looking out the window. At the koi pond. That's where my notebook ended up when you tossed it out the window."
Kacchan stills. He lets Izuku go but hurries forward to shut the window with shaking hands. "Fuck! Whatever, we can walk down to it." He doesn't look at Izuku. "Shit just...fuck, let's just go."
Izuku nods, a lump in his throat, and decides he doesn't want to ask about it.
Once they stand before the koi pond, Izuku watching the fish swim in mesmerizing patterns, does he really get started.
"Okay. I saw you. We talked. You threw my notebook out the window, which- thanks for that by the way-" Kacchan glares, but Izuku continues on. "And then I came to get it once you'd left. Which was the last time you saw me." He confirms, establishing the timeline.
Kacchan scuffs the toe of his shoe in the dirt. "This is fucking stupid."
Izuku ignores him. "And then I walked home." He looks towards the gate, rushing off a second later with a disgruntled Kacchan on his heels. They vault the gate once again and Izuku leads the way down the route he took home that day.
The streets are mostly empty, except for a few cars driving by. Izuku arrives at the overpass with a small sense of trepidation. He walks under it and stands over the sewer grate he remembers the slime villain crawling out of. It looks expectedly normal.
Kacchan skids to a halt beside him. He looks around with furrowed brows and clicks his tongue. "Why did we stop?"
Izuku brings his fingers to his chin. This is his next known location, confirmed by the signature in his ruined notebook. Considering All Might signed it, he had to have taken care of the slime villain first. Which means Izuku hadn't died to it. But that was about the only thing he knew.
"Deku, why the fuck are we here?"
Izuku faces the blonde, his mind still occupied by his swirling thoughts. "On that day, I ran into a villain here. It almost killed me before All Might showed up to save me. Except…" He bites his lip. Except he doesn't really know what happened after that, does he? This could be where the timeline changed, in fact, Izuku is sure that it did. He just doesn't know how.
"Except what?" Kacchan questions, one eyebrow raised.
Izuku sighs. "Except I don't know which memories I can trust. I remember something completely different happening and so...it's just hard."
Kacchan frowns in thought. "So what do you remember?"
The wind blows and Izuku shivers. "Well...All Might saved me, and then he tried to leave. But I grabbed onto him when he jumped because I wanted to talk to him…" He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment at the memory. "I asked him if I could be a hero and…" He trails off.
"And?" Kacchan prompts, listening attentively for perhaps the first time ever.
Izuku sighs. "And he told me I couldn't." He shakes his head. "But it turns out the slime villain escaped when I grabbed All Might's leg and it went after someone else. The next person it caught, uh, was actually you, so I hurried to the scene to help. Uh, I didn't do much, but I stalled it until All Might came back and everyone was rescued. In the end, uh, All Might...well he found me again and took back what he said. He said I could be a hero." He steals a glance at Kacchan. "And then, well, everything was normal. I went to school, trained to get into UA, and then woke up to find that it didn't happen like that. My memories...they're different."
Kacchan absorbs the information silently, his face clearly screwed up in thought. Izuku waits to hear what he has to say.
"A villain attack, huh?" He mutters. "What the fuck? Why rewrite your memories to include that?"
Izuku shrugs. "I don't know." He lies. "But I know the slime villain did appear, and All Might did save me...but I don't think it escaped for a second time. Which must mean I didn't grab All Might's leg, or I did and somehow the villain didn't fall this time...but no I couldn't have grabbed his leg or else I'd know, uh nevermind, and then All Might should've recognized me when-"
"Why not ask All Might then?" Kacchan suggests with a roll of his eyes.
"I plan to," Izuku reveals. "But he hasn't shown any indication that he remembers me." He sighs. Which is really just his luck.
Kacchan snorts. "The number one hero can't be expected to remember everyone he saves. A quirkless shit like you? Definitely not."
Izuku scowls, ready to retort, and then deflates. "Maybe not. But it still doesn't explain the...notes." He points out, swallowing thickly at the reminder.
The blonde goes silent. The air stretches between them, each lost to their own thoughts.
There has to be some event, something that would've convinced the other Izuku to...kill themselves. Sure, the words from Kacchan at the school- Izuku remembers how much that hurt- but it shouldn't have been enough. It hadn't been enough for him at least. What could have made him-
"What if…" Kacchan starts, "What if All Might never said you could be a hero?" He gives Izuku a meaningful look, his arms crossed.
"I…" Izuku thinks about it. He was hurt when he heard All Might's words up on that rooftop, perhaps even more hurt than with Kacchan, but...would it really have ended up like this? Would he have really...
"I don't know." He answers honestly, gnawing on his lower lip. "But I couldn't have grabbed on to his leg. So he wouldn't have told me I couldn't be a hero in the first place, so…"
"You don't know that." Kacchan points out. "You said it yourself. You don't know how it actually happened. Maybe All Might said it to you without jumping away. And then you never got a chance for him to take it back." He huffs. "That would definitely feel pretty shitty."
As much as Izuku dislikes the scenario that Kacchan is setting up, he can't deny that it has some merit. The situation with All Might on the rooftop happened because Izuku didn't get to ask his question to the hero, and then he learned of All Might's secret. He'd assumed that because All Might didn't recognize him, the other Izuku never found out about the secret, and therefore the rooftop conversation never happened. But what if...what if Kacchan is right? What if in this timeline, the other Izuku asked his question quickly, and had it answered? Would that make a difference? This big of a difference?
"Assuming you're right," Izuku begins, his stomach twisting itself into knots, "then afterwards I must have either written the notes, or went home."
He doesn't look at Kacchan when he starts off again, taking the route back to the Bakugou's home. It's easy to pick up the pace and run from his problems, drown his worries as he has been doing, but the weight in his heart is hard to ignore. No matter how fast, how light his feet are, the burden doesn't ease.
Why? Why would he? Why did he? How? Why? What was so horrible, so inescapable? What hadn't he-? Just why? It didn't make any sense. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. He wouldn't do something like that.
Kacchan's house comes into view and Izuku slows to a stop. The blonde isn't far behind.
"So this is when you taped that fucking thing to my door? Thanks for that by the way." He sneers. Izuku shoots him a half-hearted glare. He turns his attention to the door.
"Maybe…" He responds, "...or I could've gone home first and then wrote them." He presses his lips together, uncertain. But- does it even matter when the other Izuku did either of those things? What really matters...is where he went afterwards. Kacchan said he hadn't found anybody at the school. And Izuku can't say he knows many suicide spots.
"Where did I go?" He mutters to himself, pinching his chin in contemplation.
Kacchan grunts. "Are we done with this stupid little scavenger hunt yet? There isn't shit to find! You were sad. And now you're not. We don't fucking need to know why!"
Izuku whirls around. He's not usually one to give in to emotion, but he's stressed, and tired and wound up so tight and Kacchan has no right- "I didn't ask you to come along!" He snaps, rage clawing up his throat. "You could at least pretend to care! Half of the 'why' was probably you anyway!"
Kacchan flinches as if he's been struck, but Izuku can't bring himself to feel guilty about it right now. Besides, the shock doesn't last long. He watches as the blonde's face twists into its usual visage of anger.
"What?!" Kacchan hisses.
Izuku glares back. "Oh c'mon! You insulted me for years! You hated me, bullied me, when all I wanted was to be friends! I know-" He tugs at his hair, groaning, "I know it isn't like that anymore, but do you know how frustrating it is that you don't even acknowledge it? Why do you even think you got that stupid note?! Because you were one of two people, one of the only two people I actually cared about, and you didn't even care about me!"
His breaths come quick. His throat feels raw, and his cheeks are wet again. He knows he'll regret saying all of this later, probably even try to take it back, but right now he doesn't want to.
"You're trying to blame this on me?!" Kacchan rages. "Maybe if you fucking listened to me-"
"Right." Izuku interrupts, voice dripping with venom. "Just like I listened to your advice to take a swan dive off the-"
Kacchan launches himself at Izuku, cutting him off as he steps out of the way to dodge.
"SHUT UP!" Kacchan screeches. "You can't be a hero! You're weak! And quirkl-"
Izuku punches him in the jaw.
"Weak?!" He grabs Kacchan's shirt and flips him over his shoulder.
"Quirkless?!" He plants a foot on the blonde's chest before he can stand up.
"You keep saying that I never listen to you, but you never listen to me! All I ever wanted was to be a hero, why couldn't you accept that?!"
Kacchan tries to push Izuku's foot off him, but when it doesn't budge, he uses his quirk to blast Izuku away and get out from under him. Izuku steps away to avoid the explosion, but still gets caught up in the smoke. He coughs, his eyes watering from both the smoke and his tears.
"Accept it?!" Kacchan snarls, "When even All Might took one look at you and said you could never be a-"
This time, Izuku lunges at the blonde, tackling him to the pavement. The asphalt scrapes against his clothes and any exposed skin. Somehow, One For All has been activated without his notice, although he doesn't bother to reign it in. Kacchan and him exchange quirk-infused blows right outside the former's house.
It's easy for Izuku to see that he has the advantage, however. Even without the added percentage of his quirk, his punches and kicks are stronger than Kacchan's. He's faster, and he can read the blonde's moves practically as well as his own. While Kacchan still puts up a ferocious fight, hitting Izuku multiple times with his quirk, it ends rather quickly with Izuku pinning him face down to the pavement, arms twisted behind him and off to the side. (And if it's almost a mirror image of when they fought back in his own time, he pretends he doesn't notice it.)
Kacchan curses in between heaving breaths and it takes a second for Izuku to find his voice as well. Adrenaline may still course through him, but the anger is slowly fading.
"I'm going to be a hero." Izuku states, with no doubt. "I'm going to be the number one hero."
"Like hell-"
" It's over Kacchan." Izuku says curtly. "I'm going home."
Before the blonde can protest, Izuku breaks away, releasing Kacchan. He keeps his eyes on him though, just in case he tries to start again.
But Kacchan only stands, glaring hot daggers at Izuku, and then stomps back into his house, slamming the door behind him. Izuku can hear Mitsuki-san screaming something he can't make out, likely about the noise.
He sighs.
That was...stupid, he decides. Very very stupid. The Kacchan from his own time would probably laugh in his face if he ever heard about it. (Izuku ignores the overwhelming sense of longing that consumes him at the thought.)
He heads home.
He responds to stilted conversation with his mother.
He eats dinner. (He can't finish it.)
He goes to bed.
(He doesn't sleep.)