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Chapter 256 - 12

Chapter 12: i'm still trying everything to get you laughing at meChapter Text

In the end, Raijin ends up running into Kushina by complete coincidence the evening he decides to grab ramen to treat himself for finally managing to complete the seal that would hide Kurama's chakra within him. 

The universe has thrown some wild shit at him by this point: a nine-tailed chakra beast, whiskers on his face, the whole orphan thing, a rabbit goddess and her killer houseplant, time travel. Somehow, still, Raijin finds it within himself to be surprised. 

Honestly, he's already taking half a step back to turn and beat a hasty retreat, but then Teuchi catches sight of him and raises a hand to call out with a friendly grin, "Welcome, Raijin-kun!"

He only barely manages to activate the seal inked along his sternum before Kushina is whirling around on her stool at mach speed, probably just about avoiding snapping her neck with how fast her head whips around towards Raijin. 

Her violet eyes gleam under the low lighting of Ichiraku's stall, catching on Raijin's own that are wide with the distinct sort of panic that can only be felt by a time travelling orphan meeting their mother in the flesh for the very first time. 

'At least your seal works,' Kurama comments mildly. 

Which, true. Raijin takes the win because he needs one. The universe didn't explode and there aren't two Kyuubi traipsing all over Konoha either. That's already better than Raijin had hoped for. 

"You're Minato's brother!" Kushina points, her smile blindingly bright. 

Raijin swallows. He wants to reach out and hug her. He wants the ground to open up and swallow him so he doesn't have to do this. He also kind of wants to lay down and fall into a coma or something. 

None of that happens because the spirits hate him. Instead, he lifts his hand in an awkward wave and says, "Hi."

"I'm Uzumaki Kushina," she says, oblivious to the fact that Raijin is more than aware, "Minato's girlfriend."

"Raijin," he introduces in return. For the first time, his new name tastes like ash in his mouth. He licks his lips and blurts out, "Your hair is cool."

Kushina blinks, taken aback for a second before her smile is back on her face. She laughs and waves him over to take the stool beside her. "Minato is the only other person to have complimented it," she tells him, winking. "You really must be related."

"I guess so," he says, mustering up a smile against the ache of familiarity. Raijin thinks he'd like her hair even if it was neon green just because it'd be hers. "I've only ever met two other people with hair as red as yours, Kushina-san," he tells her. Turning to Teuchi, he asks for his usual miso ramen. 

"Really?"

He nods. "Yeah. They're both Uzumaki too actually."

Jaw dropping slightly, Kushina gapes at him. "You've met other Uzumaki?" she asks quietly. 

Raijin can sympathise with that. She probably hasn't heard of another Uzumaki since Uzushio fell and the scattered survivors promptly went into hiding. It's hard to feel like you're the only one of your kind. 

"I have," he confirms gently, tamping down on the part of him that wants to come right out and tell her that he's an Uzumaki. He's her son; more hers than anyone else's, as he always has been and as he always will be, even if she doesn't know it anymore. "Would you like to hear of them?"

Kushina nods immediately. "Yes, please."

His ramen is placed in front of him and Raijin breathes in the comforting scent of warm miso. "First, there is Karin," he says. "Her hair was a brighter red actually. I told her it looked like a tomato once and she straight up tried to rip my spine out through my nostrils." Raijin shudders at the memory and Kushina snorts next to him. "She was a natural sensor—the first I ever met. Watching her work was crazy impressive. We wouldn't have made it even half as long if we didn't have her abilities protecting our camps. She was whip smart too, and twice as fierce." 

"You were friends?" Kushina asks quietly. 

Raijin shrugs. "Not at first," he admits. "But a war is a good enough reason to put aside your differences with just about anyone. If things had been different, we probably could have been friends." He smiles wryly. "I think she would have liked pranking others with me, but I never got to ask her."

It's probably the closest Raijin has really come to talking about his loss. He told Jiraiya about his old team before, but those had been stories of their old missions rather than detailing anything about his friends in particular. It had been just enough for him to be able to exercise some control over his emotions. 

If he'd been telling Kushina about Sakura, Sasuke or Kakashi in this way, Raijin knows he wouldn't have made it more than two sentences in before promptly crying rivers right into his ramen. 

"Nagato's a quiet kind of guy. He doesn't say much and he's soft-spoken when he does, but you can tell he listens really carefully when you talk to him. I think he wants to make friends but he's just kind of shy," Raijin says, pausing only to slurp up a mouthful of noodles. "He cares a lot though. You should listen to him talk about peace; it's kind of life changing. He believes so strongly that others can't help but believe with him."

"They both sound wonderful," Kushina remarks, looking down at the leftover broth in her bowl, a sad sort of smile on her face. 

Raijin nods. "Maybe you can meet Nagato one day. I think he'd like that."

There's something a lot like longing on Kushina's face. "Maybe."

"I don't know if you've heard of them or not," Raijin comments, inclining his head. "I mean Akatsuki is getting kind of popular but Konoha is pretty far from Ame so I don't know. Their message and ideals are really cool, and Nagato is at the head of it with two of his friends. It's seriously awesome."

Kushina blinks. "Akatsuki?"

"Yeah!" He nods. "Ame's location tends to get it caught in the crossfire whenever the major elemental nations have any sort of conflict, so Akatsuki was initially formed to like protect Ame from that and maintain domestic peace. They'd been a bit at odds with Hanzo of the Salamander up until recently but they're all working together now."

Eyebrow quirking, Kushina elbows him. "I heard you might've had something to do with that, Kogane no Arashi-san," she sings, grinning wide. 

Raijin flushes, warm pride bubbling in his chest. "It was kind of an accident," he admits, rubbing at the back of his head sheepishly. "But it all worked out in the end!"

Fondness softening her features, Kushina leans her elbow on the counter and props her head up on her hand as she watches Raijin. "Did you really have to fight the Salamander?" she asks.

Raijin makes a face. "His toxin is such a bitch to get around," he recalls, wrinkling his nose. "And, not to like brag or anything, but he also isn't as good as the stories made him out to be."

Kushina's eyes go wide. "Seriously?"

The blond nods emphatically. "Seriously!" He leans closer to whisper conspiratorially, "I think he got lazy about training." Kushina's lips go round and she nods thoughtfully. "But I hear he's getting back at it again so it'll definitely be harder next time."

Her eyebrows rising, Kushina looks at him sceptically. "You're going to fight him again?"

Raijin blinks. "Uh, yeah."

Before he can even see it coming, Kushina's knuckles are digging into the crown of his head painfully. "Don't go getting cocky, brat!' she barks in his ear, having caught him in an impressive headlock. 

Raijin flails in her hold, squawking loudly. "He asked me to!" he protests, trying to to cringe away from her but having nowhere to go. "I'm not getting cocky," he whines, twisting. "Hanzo said he wants to fight again to test my growth."

Kushina huffs but lets him go. Her eyes are still narrowed. "That doesn't mean you have to go and really fight him," she scolds. "What will we do if you get hurt, huh? You have got to take better care of yourself now, kiddo, otherwise Minato is going to cry."

Her concern fills Raijin with a bubbling fuzziness that makes him feel like a bottle of fizzy soda. Kushina is worried for him even though she doesn't know him as her son this time around. That has to mean she likes Raijin for him, right? 

"I get that he'd worry, but he isn't going to cry." He rolls his eyes at the exaggeration, unwilling to show just how touched he is that his mum seems to really be fond of him already. 

Kushina snorts and shakes her head. "That's what you think," she mutters. "Minato is a right sissy, especially when it comes to the people he cares about." She turns to arch an eyebrow at him. "He's only going to be worse for his only brother, you know. Blondie really might cry if you get too banged up, so you have to look after yourself, okay?" Her eyes narrow. "I'll beat you up if you don't."

"Alright, alright," he appeases, throwing his hands up in surrender and huffing a laugh when Kushina nods once in satisfaction. 

Her gaze softens again. "Minato told me you're a fuuinjutsu master," she brings up. 

"Ah." Raijin scratches at his cheek. "I don't know about being a master or anything. I just like sealing."

She eyes him, finger tapping against the counter. "He said you seal like an Uzumaki."

The blond shrugs, not saying anything and choosing to stuff his mouth with noodles instead. 

Tilting her head curiously, Kushina asks, "Was your teacher an Uzumaki by any chance?"

Raijin considers lying to her and saying yes if only because it seems like a convenient conclusion but then thinks better of it. He already told Jiraiya otherwise anyway and he needs to stick to the truth as much as possible or he'll forget and, with his luck, it'll land him with a one-way trip to T&I.

So, honestly, he says, "Nope. Pretty sure he knew an Uzumaki though. I think she was his sensei's wife. Maybe that's where he learned."

"You never asked?"

"Not really," he admits. "I tried to when I was younger but even then I knew he didn't like talking about himself." Raijin shrugs and looks down at his bowl, prodding at the lone narutomaki floating in the leftover broth. "I think that's just what loss does to people."

Kushina's mouth purses into a thin line. Her gaze is sharp and too knowing where it is fixed on the side of his head and Raijin thinks he's going to burn under the weight of it. 

"It leaves them lonely?" she asks, her voice so soft that it hurts. 

Raijin shrugs noncommittally. "Maybe," he says. "I'm just glad I learned the Uzushio style for sealing because I was crap at fuuinjutsu until I did."

The abrupt subject change doesn't go unnoticed, but Kushina allows it nonetheless. "I bet you find the other styles too rigid, right?" She nods in understanding. "I totally agree. They write paragraphs for things that only need a sentence or a word. It's so…"

"Inconvenient," Raijin supplies, shaking his head. 

Kushina snaps her fingers in agreement. "That's the word," she says appreciatively. Then she perks up, as if struck by an idea. "Hey, Raijin-kun, maybe you're half Uzu-blooded," she suggests and laughs. "Wouldn't that be great? If you were half Uzu, you and I would be related too!"

Heart pounding in his ear, Raijin laughs along nervously, feeling like the ramen in his stomach has just curdled. "What makes you say that?" he asks, shifting nervously and hoping it goes unnoticed. His voice has gone up a whole octave and he quickly coughs. 

Clearly still amused by the thought, Kushina holds up a finger with each point as she recites, "You take more naturally to Uzushio's sealing style. You're an impulsive brat. You have crazy chakra stores and stamina. You give ramen the appreciation it deserves." Kushina blinks like she's just realising how many points that is. "You even have a traditionally Uzumaki name," she adds slowly. Frowning, she peers at Raijin with narrowed eyes. "Hey, are you sure you aren't an Uzumaki somehow?"

He is almost possessed by a brief fit of insanity, the chaos-loving gremlin within him wanting to say yes just to see what will happen. Raijin's lone, overworked braincell is quick to wrestle the madness back into sensibility before that can happen. Quickly composing himself, he instead asks, "I have an Uzumaki name?"

Kushina, still eyeing him, nods briefly. "The main line tends to choose mythological or historical names to invoke divinity and strength," she explains. "And it was common to name babies after winds and storms. Those were the greatest displays of power to those living on an island surrounded by whirlpools after all. Your name incidentally combines both those things."

"The god of lightning and storms," Raijin murmurs in understanding. He smiles wryly. "What a strange coincidence."

Maybe his new name did manage to tie him to his original heritage in a way after all. 

"Minato had better watch out," Kushina remarks, grinning quick and fox-like when Raijin turns to look at her questioningly. "I was only joking earlier. but now that we've met, I really might steal you as a little brother for myself."

Raijin flushes at that, ducking his head to hide his pleased smile. Kushina sees anyway, her grin widening as she reaches out to ruffle his hair. 

"You're a good kid, Raijin," she tells him sincerely. "I'm glad Minato found you."

He smiles at her, unable to help how he leans into her lingering touch, his heart feeling unbearably large and full. "Me too," he says earnestly. 

"Hey, Raijin-kun, why don't you call me Kushina-nee?" Kushina suggests suddenly, sitting up straight to look at him with sparkling eyes, her hands clasping together in delight. 

Raijin blinks at her, bemused. "What? Seriously?"

Nodding, Kushina grins. "Yeah! I mean, I'm your brother's girlfriend so it kind of makes sense, right?" It really doesn't. "I've always wanted to be a big sister! Come on, give it a shot—say Kushina-nee."

Still bewildered but also kind of entertained, Raijin snorts and gives in. "Kushina-nee," he says and he can't help but grin around how her name fits in his mouth. 

Kushina cheers and throws an arm around his shoulders to drag him into a rough one-armed hug. Raijin goes easily, both of them cackling in tandem like children while Teuchi casts a look of amusement over their antics and shakes his head. 

Raijin thinks he could get used to this.

Minato brightens as his eyes spot a mop of blond hair so similar to his own, lifting an arm to wave before he can even stop to think twice. "Raijin!" he calls out over the noise of the bustling marketplace. "Over here!"

Next to him, Kushina looks up from her examination of the fruit stall's produce to peer around Minato and grin at Raijin as the younger man approaches the couple with a bright smile of his own. 

His cheeks are dimpled by his smile again and Minato kind of wants to pinch them. 

"Minato-san," Raijin greets once he's close enough. His grin becomes cheekier as he leans around Minato slightly to look at Kushina. "Kushina-nee."

'Wait,' Minato thinks. 'What.'

"Hiya, Blondie #2," Kushina returns, waggling her fingers. "You doing okay?"

"I'm great," Raijin answers, chipper. "You see, this mysterious red-haired woman paid for my dinner last night, and I'm still thrilled about it."

Kushina widens her eyes exaggeratedly. "Oh, my, you must be so awfully grateful."

Nodding solemnly, Raijin places a hand over his heart and says seriously, "I most certainly am. I'll be sure to thank her if I ever see her again."

"You probably never will," Kushina says gravely. "Us redheads tend to be super mysterious, you know."

Raijin snorts. His grin is bright and mischievous, matching Kushina's own. "Sure, Kushina-nee," he drawls, promptly yelping when Kushina whacks his arm for the attitude. 

Distantly, and with a deep sense of betrayal, Minato repeats, "Kushina-nee."

His younger brother blinks at him, his smile going a polite sort of puzzled as he tilts his head like he doesn't understand why Minato is looking at the both of them like they just kicked his puppy. "Yeah?" he says, glancing uncertainly between the couple. "She asked me to, so," he adds, shrugging like it's no big deal. 

Like Kushina isn't already taking the lead on being favourite sibling. 

Minato turns to give his girlfriend his best stink-eye. She grins smugly back at him, entirely unrepentant. 

"I forbid this," he tells her. 

Kushina cackles. "I'd like to see you try, pretty boy."

Raijin's eyebrows are furrowed. "Wait, what's up with you guys?"

Minato turns to pout at his younger brother. "You're supposed to be on my side," he points out, and it definitely isn't a whine. 

The confusion on Raijin's face is at war with the amusement he's clearly finding in this situation. Minato doesn't understand how he could find it a laughing matter. 

"I never said I wasn't," the teen points out, crossing his arms. 

"How could you let her win?" Minato demands, taking his brother by the shoulders. "I thought we were doing good."

Under his hands, Raijin's shoulders shake with laughter. "Quit being dramatic," he says, rolling his eyes, but he's smiling wide enough that his eyes are squinted and Minato can't help the way his own lips curve upwards in response. "She asked first. That's not my fault."

Minato narrows his eyes. "So all I had to do is ask?"

Raijin shakes his head. "It's not a big deal," he says. "I would've done it earlier if I knew you wouldn't mind."

"Mind?" Minato repeats, borderline hysterical. "Kushina, he thinks I'd mind," he says because he needs someone else to see how ridiculous the notion is. Like Minato wouldn't pay for all of Raijin's ramen forever if it meant he'd get to be openly acknowledged as his older brother. 

Kushina rolls her eyes at him and finishes purchasing her tangerines. 

"You could mind," Raijin argues, puffing his cheeks out. "It's legit! The whole brother thing is sudden, and it'd make sense for you to need more time and for us to get closer before I call you big brother or whatever."

It is legit, but Minato had been past that about fifteen minutes into his first conversation with Raijin. "I don't mind," he tells the younger man seriously. "If you're okay with it, I'd love for you to call me your big brother."

For the first time in this conversation, something like nervousness crosses over Raijin's face. "Really?" he asks, peering up at Minato. 

"Really."

Raijin's shoulders relax ever so slightly and Minato gives them a squeeze, returning the tentative smile his brother gifts him. 

"Okay," Raijin says. "Sure. Nii-chan, then."

It's a lot like getting a present for simply exisitng. Minato can't help the way he brightens instantly at the address, sweet golden warmth flowing through his veins. He still can't believe he has been lucky enough to get a family of his own after all these years alone. He's so fortunate to have a brother, especially one like Raijin. 

"Whatever," Kushina huffs behind him. "I'm still winning."

Minato turns to gape at her. "How are you winning? We're even now!'

"He called me Kushina-nee first!"

"Uh," Raijin lifts a hand, eyebrows raised, "you guys know this is pointless, right? There's nothing to win here."

The couple blinks blankly at him. As one, they turn to each other. 

"You hear that?" Kushina says, scoffing. 

Minato shakes his head. "He really thinks there's nothing to win."

"How naïve."

"It's okay, Raijin," Minato tells his brother. "Don't worry about it."

"Right," Kushina nods, "this is between me and the sissy."

Looking between the two of them with clear disbelief, Raijin doesn't hide that he clearly thinks they're both short of a few screws. "Sure," he says. 

At least now he knows that it's not his fault he turned out the way he has. Insanity obviously runs in the family.