Right now, on hand, we have 2 rifles, 1 knife, 1 pistol. Extra bullets for the rifle but no pistol bullets, Jason still has his pistol. He held onto it. There is some food, a few other supplies Jason brought with him on Friday...
You know, I've been following along with what everyone's been telling me for so long.
I followed along with Austin to classes on my first day, I followed him to the party and got beat up by that dude Sarah was with, I follow along with my friends' actions. I followed Austin when we became addicts, I listened to Sarah in the past and doted on her every emotion. I follow Emma's advances, I followed along with Mr. Radek's plans, and we nearly died.
I want to make my own path and stop being at the mercy of others.
I think I have an idea of what to do, I don't care how risky it is. I don't even care if I die.
Alone, in this dark forest, I'd rather die than continue following others.
Of course, I'm scared. The light flickering from the fire and the surrounding trees and the tide's ebb and flow is all I can see and hear, and Mr. Radek's sullen expression.
When I wake up tomorrow, I want to be me. Living vicariously, strung along by the whims of others is something I no longer want to do.
Let's tell Mr. Radek the plan, and ask if he'll sleep for the time being.
They won't attack immediately, I've surmised that already.
We'll need our strength; my body is young and capable. Jason isn't exactly a rattled cage of bones, but he's still much older than I am. He makes jokes about being old, but I can't ignore that he is, and we'll need to be able to move about as much as possible.
He doesn't agree with it completely, but it's better than running. They'll know where we are, but what's more important, is that I'll know where they are, too.
Giving up, running, and being afraid, all these things make me human.
But I'm done running, our backs are between a rock and a hard place.
We prepare everything during about a 20–30-minute timeframe, give or take. And Mr. Radek has gone to sleep. I told him to give me his smokes, and that I'll save 2 for the both of us for the car ride home.
Now I'm alone.
Alone to think.
I keep the fire alive, watching it dance and turn in silence, besides the chainsaw of a mouth, Jason has when he snores.
The wind at my back is cold, the pistol at my side is heavy with the burden I'll soon be carrying.
It's late in the day, the forest is somber and isolated from all animal life. Mostly, all animal life.
A lone fox had made its way to the fire, curious by the heat, and sat across from me, before leaving on its way.
The plan, the action we'll need to pull it off...
They shouldn't have had enough time to make more bombs, but if they do, there's a secondary phase of the plan we'll need to commit to.
multiple plans, depending on how they approach us.
The forest is dense and thick, and they'll need to traverse it in order to find us. That'll give me more than enough time to wake up Jason. And if they don't come, we'll have time to leave in the morning.
But they'll come.
The grin Spencer had when I'd last seen him in the classroom tells me everything I need to know.
He's probably arguing with his teammates right now, telling them they need to attack. The young girl as well, she was scared, she'd ducked down in a scare when I fired my rifle at her. They can't risk us being alive, they'll continue the attack tonight.
And knowing the aggressive Spencer, he'll head the attack.
And we will wait. And if need be, we'll burn the entire forest to the ground to watch them writhe in pain, as they would have done to us.
They're our enemies.
The hours pass in complete silence. While I smoke like a chimney.
If their flashlights are on when they approach, we have the perfect chance to strike on their positions in the dark.
Sitting here alone, I bring out the phone from my pocket. I'm surprised I didn't drop it, like I dropped my keys while running to school.
My trusty, little Blackberry. The keyboard on the phone is nostalgic, I don't know why the qwerty keyboard is the norm for all keyboards. I turn it on and unlock it, there's no service out here like Mr. Radek said.
Let's look through our photos or something, I'm bored. Don't know if "being bored" is the right term.
I've never been one to take photos, but my friends take my phone and take them for me.
The most recent photo is of Emma.
She's in my room, in my shirt. The camera quality isn't amazing, but I could never forget her smile. She always has such a toothy smile... I didn't even know she took this. I don't check my phone enough. Her orange hair... I wish I could see her right now.
Do I love her? I don't know. I've been avoidant of her feelings for a long time. We've known each other for a little over two months now. And she's always been flirty, and I thought that's just how her personality was.
But it's not. I remember seeing her in the halls talking to another guy or rather being talked to by another guy. I think he was asking her out. And I thought she'd say yes.
But she looked at him with a straight face and asked:
"Why the fuck would I wanna go out with you?" in a disgusted tone of voice.
It made me feel special to her, and I know I am. But did I just want to feel wanted by her? If all of this ever ends, I want to be by her side for as long as I can be.
The sensor has begun to decline.
From 5km to 4...
Time to wake up Mr. Radek.
When he wakes up and gets his grounding, we go over the plan once more and get into position. Let's extinguish this fire, it has to seem like we're sleeping, or that I'm alone.
I've got to perch myself on the tree beside the tent, we don't know what area they'll be coming from, but it will most likely be the lake to the east. The branch I'm on is the opposite side of the tent, and large enough to support my weight.
It's dark. Really dark.
The clouds are masking the moon, but there's a faint orange hue coming from the direction of town. The lights amassed and shot up against the low-hanging clouds, partially illuminating them.
They must've made it to the parking lot now, they're about 800m away.
Jason must've gotten into position by this point.
When I bring my hands up to my face, I can barely see them. There's a deep blackness in all directions of me. I have to feel the bark of the tree to feel some sense of grounding in the disorienting darkness. I've got those two smokes left in my pocket, for me and Jason.
700m.
I never thought about it before, but I've always wanted to live, to be free, to be happy.
I never gave myself the chance, I always lived codependently on others.
I always thought that if I could go back, I could change my future. But what really needed to change was me.
600m.
My hands are shaking, but it must just be the cold.
500m.
They're slow walkers, aren't they? I hope the direction they're coming from isn't the one I'm overlooking.
It's fucked up to think, but being in that house, almost dying, watching everything crumble around us. It was horrifying, but it was the most excited I've ever been in my life.
400m.
There was once a soldier, or lieutenant, or some form of military personnel, never was good at history, who once said "Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes." While lying in wait for an ambush.
Is this what he felt? And what about everyone else who'd ever gone to war? Or all the men and women who've been lost to the march of time? Any conflict ever overcome; did they feel afraid?
The enemy outnumbers us, we don't know who they are, and we don't know where they're coming from. Or what training they might have.
300m.
Now is the time to stop thinking. Vision the actions you'll need to take, Dan. Envision them in your eyes, and grab them.
Think about who you're trying to protect. Do this so you can see your parents, do this so you can see Emma. Do this for your friends.
But would they be safer if I died here tonight instead?
200m.
They're close. I need to breathe quietly, and control it. I grip the handle of my knife with my right hand and hold firmly the pistol in my left. The way I'm carrying it feels almost like a cross, the pistol pointed to the sky, and the knife pointed to hell.
I can hear the recording of Mr. Radek snoring directly behind me. My rifle placed against the tree may be enough to convince them I'm in the tent.
100m.
They must be close to the clearing by now. I can hear the cracking and bending of trees, but it could just be the wind.
It's almost as if all my senses are heightened. I had many aches in my body earlier, but they're gone. I don't feel pain. I feel my heart race, but it doesn't feel like it's racing with fear.
It's them or me, it's them or me. I repeat to myself as they approach.
Target: Nearby.
Now they're close. The sound of steps thudding along the forest floor, sinking into the soil, the night is still dark, and the moon's light is shrouded by the clouds. There are no flashlights on. Or else I'd have seen the beams of light. They came from the shoreline. Exactly as I thought they would.
They must be following the direction of Spencer, he'll be at the front, telling them the direction to go by the mark.
They're just out of sight. Moving in on us.
With each second that passes, I feel that it could be my last. I hold my breath in anticipation.
Trees are cracking, the slow careful steps turn into a run, and a sudden cascade of lights shines into the forest. The rustling of leaves moves in droves along the forest floor. The quiet of the forest and the peacefulness of the night is shattered by a loud bang. And my ears ring with the sharp report of the guns being fired, it echoes off the trees and seems to reverberate throughout the entire forest. The sudden rain of bullets falls onto the tent and tree at my back in rapid-fire bursts.
Each bullet strikes the fabric of the tent.
The sound is jarring, and my heart flutters. The gunshot seems to linger in the air, leaving a trail of tension behind it. It's as if the gun exploded in my ear. I almost struggle to keep my balance on the branch of this tree.
I should be scared, but I'm not. When the bullets stop, it's time.
That's the signal, Mr. Radek. It's now or never.
At the reprieve of bullets, the silence was again disturbed.
The sudden hissing of the firework had begun, and as it moved through the air, I moved with it.
Jumping from my position, I held firmly onto the trunk of the tree, the sudden sound of fireworks at their backs had momentarily distracted them, for just a moment.
I slid around the tree and kicked the trunk of the tree to propel myself forward. The firework is illuminating the forest.
Leaping into the air, moving to my target.
The trees cast long shadows across the clearing, creating a sense of depth to the darkness.
Spencer is at the front of their V-formation. 2, 3...4. Four of them in total. They're all looking away.
As I'm coming down against my target, the sudden burst of Mr. Radek's rifle being fired is momentarily heard, and as I look to my right. The girl from before, her hair black hair flows delicately with her neck movements towards the light.
The bullet pierces her through her skull, and fragments of bone and viscera scatter about in a red mist as her limp body falls to the ground.
"Target destroyed; threat evaded" The robotic voice lulls away.
Still in the air, I land against Spencer's back. The two other teammates begin dispersing to avoid the bullet fire.
I couldn't see their faces.
Spencer falls to the ground with my heel against his spine, and the hulking sound of the body is immediately heard. He falls forward, landing on his hands.
With my knife in hand, I strike downward, ready to end this confrontation. Just like he would've done.
The area will only be lit for a few more seconds.
My blade edges closer to Spencer, inching toward him, it feels so close.
"Follow through with your plan."
With all my strength, I bring the knife down against the back of his head, but I miss.
The blade pierces the Earth as Spencer narrowly avoids it and uses the strength in his arms and legs to push me off him.
I stumble back, and Spencer begins to rise, he dropped his gun during his fall and he's crawling for it. I don't have extra bullets.
I run to kick Spencer in the ribs, he falls onto his back.
Jumping down at him, he kicks me in the gut, and I drop my pistol.
It winded me.
I feel like throwing up.
Ignore it.
I grip the hilt of the knife and move in once more, Spencer is ready with his arms up and legs ready to strike back as I move in.
I dodge the kick, and grip the pants of his leg; moving him closer to me, and jumping onto his chest with my knees across his shoulders.
Again, the adrenaline kicks in, the firework is almost out, I look down to see the whites of Spencer's brown eyes bloodshot. They dart back and forth between me and the stimuli of the explosion just above. The curls of his hair are filled with sweat and dirt.
My heart is racing.
I hesitate with the knife in hand.
He looks scared, completely mortified, I'm sending him back to that place.
More bullets fire in the distance from Mr. Radek and the opposition, I have to end this.
A million thoughts cross my mind. With my knife brandished downwards to his neck.
Doubts crossed my mind.
The light has almost been drowned out by the night.
I almost want to...
Stop.
I almost want to help him up and dust him off. We never tried to be a team, we never talked. There were four of them and two of us. We could have been a full team.
When I looked down at him, I finally remembered the times we'd spent together as children.
Playing in the sandbox behind my house, he was different even then. He was a rowdy boy, an unhinged boy, but now I know.
He was just angry at his stepfather and took it out on anyone around him. We'd fought like this before, with me on top of him, as boys. Playfighting, real fighting. It was the same back then.
I turned to face my surroundings, pushing down Spencer's arm and chest movements with my knees and buckling against his strength.
I see the tent me and Mr. Radek had set up, whistling in the wind with holes from their bullets. Barely hanging onto the ropes.
The bullets firing surround me.
He was going to kill us, he was going to kill me in my sleep.
Any remorse and sympathy I had disappeared.
In one swift movement, I strike downwards with the knife. I feel the resistance of his throat against the blade. Penetrating deep into his neck, I turn the blade, twisting it further, I could almost feel the bone of his spine against the end of the knife.
The blackness in his blood is deep, it's covering my hands and legs in the warmth of his entrails. The scent of iron lingers through the air. His eyes are darting faster than before, his body's gone into shock.
For just a moment. I don't feel any malice towards Spencer, I don't feel angry at him that he wanted to kill us.
He wanted to survive, just like us. They're all fighting for something.
The sounds of the forest have stopped, and the wind had momentarily ceased its push against the trunks of trees, it's almost as if the lake had stopped its ebb and flow with the moon.
My mind's gone numb, the two that Mr. Radek didn't kill have disappeared into the brush of trees. The forest has gone dark.
Spencer's body is doing what it can to flail me off of him, his hands are attempting to grab and scratch at his throat.
A last-ditch effort by his nervous system to plug the hole I'd ripped into his esophagus.
All sounds return.
His mouth gargles from the uprising fluids into his mouth. He's straddling against me, moving up and down violently, and then it stops.
I remember when I died; I wonder if he's seeing that entity again. Is he still retaining consciousness?
Can he see me? Can he see the embers of the firework fade into the night?
Does he hate me? What about Carly? What about his mom at home? Is he in pain?
All sorts of thoughts regarding his own life flash and disappear at the same moment.
I've brought on the extinction of a human being.
I couldn't say the exact amount of time I'd sat here; the light of the firework was wisped away, and the embers are gone.
There's an awful feeling in my stomach. Why am I here? Why did I do this?
I retract the blade and throw the knife into the forest.
"Target destroyed; threat evaded." The marks I'd left on Spencer and the girl disappear.
Mr. Radek's voice screams to me in the dark, echoing through the forest.
I turn to face him, his flashlight begins to weave in between trees.
"We have to go! The sensor is still up!" He screams as loud as he can.
The sensor.
Mr. Radek's boots glide along the forest floor, becoming more distant with each second.
His steps aren't the only ones echoing.
I look down at Spencer one last time, and again Jason screams:
"I will leave you behind!"
I hear his words and take them to heart. I pick up the pistol left on the ground and chase after him.
My body moves.
My body runs, it knows better than my rational brain right now. it knows if I stay here, they'll kill me.
I can't make coherent thoughts. Like a moth drawn to a flame, I'm running after Mr. Radek. I turn back for just a moment, to see his teammates regroup at their bodies before again facing forward.
I turn to Mr. Radek, I see his flashlight bounce up and down with his movements, I'm relieved. I don't have the capacity to turn on my own flashlight. I just follow behind Mr. Radek.
Knowing he's still alive is enough for me.
The branches of the trees I run into don't affect or daze me at all. I don't feel anything. My breathing is labored, I'm almost hyperventilating.
I'm haphazardly chasing against Mr. Radek's flashlight. There's another light erupting from his free hand.
The plan.
Stick with the plan, is all I can think.
While running behind Mr. Radek, I trip.
My boot is caught against a root of a tree, I heard the dull thud of my boot before placing my hands against my face to brace my fall.
His teammates are following us, also watching Mr. Radek's back as he runs.
They haven't turned on their flashlights either. They must know that they need to end the confrontation here. Their faces were turned away from me, but Mr. Radek saw them. He had to have marked them.
My focus was Spencer.
The oncoming stampede of feet curve between trees, and a torrent of footstep rushes over me, but I don't feel afraid.
I turn to face them, I'm not able to see them, the moon has sprung forth for just a second, and like a stop motion picture, I see shadows prominently move about in the forest.
They're close.
I know what a bullet does to a person now. The speeding lead of a bullet will make a trajectory right through your brain matter, just like what happened to that girl.
I block my face, hoping that if they shoot me, my arms can block a shot that would instantly kill me.
They're running towards us.
Then the light of the second firework me and Jason set up prior explodes above them.
They've seen our trick once, still, one of them turns to the light.
She's a woman, she's carrying a revolver in her hands. I can't make it out perfectly, they're roughly 50 meters from us.
Radek's movements stopped just behind me, I can't hear the repeated tapping of his boots against the earth. After the explosion had been set off, the resounding boom that comes with the firework nearly masked the crackling sound of Jason's rifle.
The light from the firework was enough to see their figures, and Radek fires on them.
His shot misses, the duo becomes aware of the trick and fires back on me and Mr. Radek, but he's already gotten behind cover, they were able to respond quickly, but not accurately. Their bullets miss.
I flip over to my stomach and launch myself upwards and run behind a nearby tree and hold my firearm in hand.
Just like when we practiced at the shooting range.
Their bullets pass by, and Mr. Radek returned fire, he's about 5 meters away from me behind another tree, I can see his grey coat from under the cover of the firework.
I turned around the tree, there was enough light to estimate where they were running for cover.
They haven't made it behind any trees yet, Mr. Radek is accurate and confident in his marksmanship.
Mr. Radek fires his rifle and pierces the right arm of the man.
He immediately retracts and grabs hold of his bicep, with the pistol in his left hand, he attempts to shoot back.
I fire, wounding him in the leg, directly behind his knee.
I was aiming for his chest; my mind can't keep up with my body's need for survival.
Or maybe I couldn't bring myself to do it, I've already killed Spencer.
He falls to the ground, still holding onto his arm and lets out a shrill scream:
"Wait!"
It's too late.
Jason sees the opening, he's only a few meters away from us. And he's unable to move.
The sound is deafening, it's as if the gun exploded in my ear, and I finally feel a sharp pain in my eardrums. The sound is so intense.
The main's weight drops to the ground.
His limp body falls flat towards his stomach. His autonomous system can't keep up with the trauma to his body.
Now there's only her.
The forest has gone dark again, besides the trail of gas and fire, we'd set up prior.
I saw where she ran to.
She's behind that tree straight ahead of me and Jason. We don't have enough bullets for a war of attrition.
My feet begin to sprint, running toward her position.
There's silence residing within the forest, the natural order of the woods is disrupted by us.
There's little light, there are no animals singing their mating calls, just the forward momentum of my body moving toward my target.
I dropped the knife, but I still have the gun, there should be 6 bullets left.
I can kill her at close range.
Just keep running.
She could turn from the tree and fire her revolver directly into me, she could be waiting, or she could have run already, I lost my focus on her when I shot that man.
The clouds have receded, there's enough time before they come back to use the light of the moon. I'm so close now.
We survived, with her death, we'll survive. We'll win.
My eyes are adjusted to the darkness, I can see any minute detail under the cover of minuscule light.
I encircle the tree she's hiding behind. I only see the image of a body and long flowing hair.
Instinctively, I pull the trigger. The bullet enters her body, I can tell from the immediate runt of pain I hear from her.
Firing 3 bullets rapidly into her leg and stomach.
She falls against the tree, leaning on it for balance, before sitting against it and crying out.
An eerily familiar voice.
The moon's rays rush through the forest.
In front of me is a familiar face. She's covered in sweat and the dirt blemishes her perfect skin. Her bright blue eyes are half-turned, up to the sky.
It's Miss. Simmons. Her features are always recognizable. Her dirty blonde hair falls against her shoulder, her hand reaches for her hip as she drops the revolver into the dirt.
Why is she here?
I can barely make out her expression, she looks, sad.
What have I done?
Her back against the tree begins sliding downwards. It doesn't look like she can keep herself up.
There's still time, I can still fix this.
A lump appears in my throat.
I can smell the blood and fumes of the bullet fire.
I don't want to believe it.
It comes back to me, she had missed work last week, and she blamed it on morning sickness.
Either way, she's here, in front of me, absorbing the light of the moon.
She begins slipping against the tree, before falling onto her side.
She's lost her cover from the tree.
Mr. Radek fires a bullet immediately; his reaction is too quick for me to say anything.
The bullet enters Ms. Simmons' shoulder from the back, I can momentarily see the exit wound, there's blood everywhere.
I can see the weakness in her eyes, and the fragility of a human being.
It's like Spencer when he died just minutes ago.
It hasn't even been 5 minutes since I watched him die.
"Wait! Jason! Wait!" I shout out.
I get down on my knees, or I drop to them. I grab onto Ms. Simmons' non-wounded shoulder and begin trying to lift her up.
She's heavy, her dead weight is too much to carry alone.
Mr. Radek runs up to see me and Miss Simmons.
"Oh fuck, fuck."
He begins rubbing his head in frustration, pacing backward and forwards in a semi-circle.
Shouting, I call him.
"Help me, please, help me carry her, we can still get her to the hospital." I try to carry her weight, but I fall with her, and she plants against the earth.
She's barely coherent.
"It's okay, Miss Simmons, we can save you, don't worry, it's okay. I got you. Please, just stay with me."
Mr. Radek's looking away, he's not helping me.
Why the fuck isn't he helping me.
She's barely conscious. I can hear her whispering under her breath.
I bring my ear to her mouth.
I don't want her to die.
Her voice is faint.
"I did things right, didn't I? I stopped all the pain." Her small voice enters my ear.
I shudder at her words; the very core of my being is tested by her statement.
She's breathing shallowly.
"I wanted... to be...better... this time."
Her eyes upturn to me, and I can barely make out her expression.
"Danny? Is... that you?"
"I'm so glad. I'm so so glad."
"You've done... so well."
"Save your breath, I'll get you out of here, I promise."
I again try to lift her.
"Help me, Jason. Please." My voice is cracking, I can barely finish my sentence.
He's looking directly at us, why isn't he grabbing her legs? We can carry her out of here.
I can't do it, I'm not strong enough. Her limp body falls to the ground. How can I stop the bleeding? I don't have anything, my shirt isn't sanitary, she's bleeding from her stomach, and legs, her shoulder...
No. maybe, Mr. Radek already knows.
"Danny... we have...homework, due... I'll see you, then."
A tear falls from her face, streaming against her cheek.
I do what I can to shake her awake. Rubbing against her back, her body moves back and forth in the dirt.
I try comforting her, that we'll take her to the hospital, that she can join our team, and that I'm sorry.
"I won't miss school from now on, I'll always be there, please just stay with me."
I attempt to resuscitate her, holding my hand against the warm blood on her stomach.
It's starting, from the feet up, her body is disappearing.
"Wait, wait wait, wait, no, no no. we can fix this, it's not too late, if I'd have known it was you, I'd never-"
Mr. Radek's hand plants firmly on my shoulder.
"It's time to go, I'm sorry."
He pulls me away from Ms. Simmons, holding me under my shoulders.
Her legs are gone, evaporating.
"Get the fuck off me!"
I shove him to the side, running to Ms. Simmons.
I drop to the ground and grab Ms. Simmons' hand.
"I won't let you die alone."
I wipe the tear against her eye, her eyes are open, but I don't think they're seeing anything.
I remember all the times you've helped me. How you spoke so openly with me, about all my stupid troubles. You were the only teacher to treat me well, unconditionally. The person who I knew always had my back. To show me kindness in the face of adversity when I was always such a....
I wasn't a good student, I wasn't good at anything.
But you believed in everyone.
And I shot you dead. It's my fault you're dying.
Her hand shines a light, a three-directional arrow, all of which point forward. I watch in confusion.
Then, the next moment, her hand is gone.
Her body is fading away, I can't hold her hand anymore, so I grab her cheek, it's cold, and clammy.
She shouldn't look this way, it's my fault.
What feels like the next moment, she's gone. Her body completely disappeared, like she was never even here. Dissipating into the air.
We both watched her disappear.
"Out of range." The robotic voice says.
The tree she lay beside was vacant, like she was spirited away, lost to the earth. Leaving nothing behind.
The threats are gone. There's nothing left of them. We were told we'd disappear from history when the conditions are met by that entity. But we didn't know what would happen.
Mr. Radek holds his hand against my shoulder once more.
"I'm sorry, let's get back to the car."
It's like all the adrenaline had disappeared from my body, and my body is overwhelmed by the sudden emotional response.
I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to bring them back.
The sensor is gone, there are no threats nearby. But what did it cost us?
Walking back to the car, the weight of what happened in the forest hits all at once.
Ms. Simmons' last words, Spencer's final breath, the two whose story we didn't even know.
The walk there happens in what feels like an instant, I'm completely lost in my thoughts and emotions. I hear her last words ring in my head over and over again.
When we've made it to the car, the light in the cab illuminates the car, and I see now, that there's no blood on my hands. There's no scent of iron, it's gone. It's like it didn't happen at all, all traces of them have disappeared.
I sink into the seat and feel the tiredness wash over me. The sadness is beginning to consume me.
I don't think Spencer was a bad person, or maybe he was. I never got to know him, we never got to talk. There were 4 people on his team, We don't know the maximum. Why didn't we ever communicate? Couldn't they have changed their approach? Could we have worked together? Could I have saved Ms. Simmons?
Mr. Radek speaks to me.
"it took a bit of work to put out the fire from the gas, how did you know the plan would work?"
Maybe he's trying to get my mind off of things.
I feel like shit, I don't even want to explain it.
I knew they'd come tonight.
Two of their team were marked, they couldn't afford to let us regroup and prepare. And they couldn't afford for us to know two of their teammate's locations. They didn't know if there was more than me and Mr. Radek.
They used bombs at the house, and Molotov cocktails to burn the house down.
I thought their movements would stutter at the sudden sound of an explosion, and that we could ambush them in the light.
I told Mr. Radek to mark them, and I'm sure he did, or else they wouldn't have given chase.
I told Mr. Radek to keep his flashlight on, so they could clearly see the direction we ran too.
There, there was a second firework set up, with gas drizzled around it, so that Mr. Radek could throw his steel lighter onto it, and in a few seconds, light up the surrounding area again, hoping to cause a sudden panic in them and give us time to attack.
Mr. Radek is a good marksman; we don't know much about them. But I'm sure they're amateurs like us, not people used to war and conflict. The girl from before who'd ducked down at the sound of my bullet at the house let me know that at least one of them would be afraid, jumpy even.
And then it was just a matter of following through with the attack.
I can't help but feel like their deaths were meaningless. I fully expected the November weather to begin snowing, signifying their deaths. But it didn't, life isn't like the movies.
Maybe their deaths will have repercussions that haven't fully settled into my being. My body still feels like it's stuck in the forest like I'm still fighting them.
The itching to escape is becoming unsettling. If there wasn't a rule that didn't allow me to run away, I'd be as far as I could be right now.
My mind was full of thoughts during the ride home, it ended too quickly. We shared the last two cigarettes in Mr. Radek's package, I thought we'd be celebrating. I was so wrong.
I still want to talk with Jason, he's the only one to understand what we've just done. But he needs to check on his family.
During the drive back home, there was still smoke escaping from the house that was burnt down earlier.
After he dropped me off at home, he told me we'll still need to act normally at school tomorrow.
I immediately walked through my house, unlocking the door. Everyone was asleep, dad was passed out drunk on the couch.
Absent-mindedly walking through the home, I ascend the stairs.
I still feel so, fucked up.
The bathroom light is on just ahead of me, but nobody's in there.
Thea used to be scared when there was no light in her room... mom has a habit of keeping that light on still...
Walking into the bathroom, I begin washing my hands, and I'm about to remove my clothes and wash the blood out.
Oh right, it's gone. There's no blood.
The reflection staring back at me above the sink is me, but I don't recognize him.
Spencer and Ms. Simmons, I tried to bring her back... we wouldn't have made it through that dense forest fast enough... Mr. Radek must've known.
I recall Spencer's coughing of blood as I cut open his throat, and Ms. Simmons' labored breaths as she entered the final stage of life, her final words.
"I did things right, this time... didn't I?"
Yes, you did.
It was my own selfishness, or maybe her selfishness to fight against us. Our conflict didn't need to happen, and we shouldn't have been in this time, to begin with.
I make my way to my room, I don't bother turning on the lights.
It all feels surreal, they're really gone. I killed them.
The nostalgic feelings I had when I first woke up in this room again, are all gone.
I don't feel anything while looking to the collection of crap I've hoarded in my room.
I feel completely numb.
As I look around my room, I'm reminded of the day I left home, or when I was kicked out, and memories rush through me. I'm really back this time... I knew it all along, I knew I was a part of this game. I didn't understand how awful I'd feel after my first...
"I killed Spencer... I killed Ms. Simmons." I whisper under my breath.
Everything is here, just like I left it when I left home all those years ago.
The thought of it makes me laugh.
I fall down from fatigue, or maybe I'm overcome with grief.
In my eyes, the signal "In-vicinity" is still there.
Aha
Ahaha.
AHAHAHAHA.
A small chuckle bursts into a fit of hysterical laughter.
"They're really dead!" I think to myself, all while laughing as loud as my body can manage.
Tears begin to stream from my eyes, but the laughter won't stop.
"How the fuck am I supposed to act normally? Why the fuck would I ever want to go back to school?!"
I'm bent over, hitting my hands against the floorboards. It doesn't hurt.
Laughing, more and more.
I came to the realization.
This is only the beginning.
The words "In-vicinity" Mock me with its omnipresence.
Until I kill everyone, until I lose all my humanity, it'll never end. I'll never know peace.
My howling dies town into a sullen, somber crying.
Until I fall over into the fetal position on my floor, hugging my knees. Their deaths are on my hands, forever stained, their lives ended because of me.
When I finally open my eyes, I see the burn I'd left behind when I destroyed the notes for the rules of the game.
The ending won't come until I win.
I'll have to kill them all.