When I woke up, the "in-vicinity" was up. I'd spent the morning doing my daily routine, showering, cooking, and having a cup of coffee. Spent time shooting the shit with Mom. Pestering Thea.
I left the pistol at home, I hope my mom doesn't find it in my closet, but I doubt she'd go on one of her cleaning sprees. She only ever cleans when she's looking for contraband that I'd leave behind, like weed. The first time she caught me with weed, or even just papers, she smacked the fuck out of me. She'd screamed: "I didn't raise no fucking loser, son." Or something.
Maybe that stigmatizing approach is what caused me to become more distant from her in the past.
I took the bus to school, but I ended up waiting outside for over 30 minutes. I didn't know when the bus came, so I was standing outside in the cold like an asshole. I felt uneasy with the sensor up while on the bus. I keep telling myself I'll get used to it. The bus became increasingly loud as we picked up more students, friends greeting each other, and shit. I sat towards the back and breathed onto the windows of the bus and drew pictures with my finger.
Austin didn't come to school today, me and Kelly sat beside each other in English. He wasted no time giving me his usual "Ohayo." Greeting. Apparently, that means good morning in Japanese. He's been getting better at speaking normal English though. Maybe his little phase is over. At least that's what I'd hoped.
Kelly showed me a picture this morning, of his order from Japan. He'd stolen his mom's credit card and ordered what he called a "Dakimakura". It's just a pillow, a very long pillow, about human width. On the pillowcase is an anime girl, a nearly nude anime girl. I wish he hadn't shown me that, I could've gone my entire day, or life even, without seeing it.
In the photo, his body pillow is sitting upright in a chair, and it looked like he was having dinner with it. It irks me to think about what else he's doing with it.
This dude doesn't talk much in class, but that's good because I don't want him to embarrass me further.
After English, I navigated the halls to Chemistry.
Emma was already in the class and talking to Mr. Radek.
She's asking him if she can get that day off for helping him next week, she has a volleyball game next Friday. I tried to sneak past her quietly but when she'd seen me, she ran up to punch me in the arm.
"Hey fucker, you didn't text me back this morning." Her face is pouty when she talks. She looks up at me angrily with her arms crossed as she clenches her jaw, waiting for my answer as to why I didn't text her.
"So physical this one, you seeing this Mr. Radek? I ought to report you, with Mr. Radek as my witness." I say to her. This doesn't help to diffuse the situation and only intensifies it.
"Pfft, Mr. Radek wouldn't side with you. Clearly, he sees a poor defenseless girl, who's being provoked by her love interest, this is a civil dispute, right?" She turns to face Mr. Radek, he just lifts his hands and says, "I'm not having any of this." Before laughing and leaving the room.
"What defenseless girl? I don't see her." I begin looking around the room, exaggerating my search with my hand above my forehead, so as to shield any interfering light that could affect my vision.
She punches me again, this time in the gut. Ouch. But she looks satisfied now.
I had to catch myself on a nearby desk, she winded me with that one.
"You never don't reply, I was worried you were dying, or sick, or dead and sick. Or maybe you'd lost your confidence and couldn't face me, since you agreed to our date on Friday." She turns her head away.
"Oh right, Friday. That's a day, when is that again? What are we doing?" I say to her, after putting my hand over my stomach and running towards my desk in the back of the chemistry class.
She chased after me, and when I had sat down, she sat down beside me and stared me dead in the eyeballs. Her savage look was chilling, colder than the November weather outside.
"Okay, okay, I got it. I know, we'll hang out this Friday. I was just teasing you. And I forgot my phone at home." I say to her, the jig is up. She looks like she'll kill me soon.
Her expression changed from angry to happy the next instant, and she began laughing at herself.
"You know I'm just joking; did you really leave your phone at home?" She begins picking at my hoodie, aiming for my pouch pocket in the center of my abdomen.
When she feels nothing but my stomach and cloth fabric, she then reaches down and pats down my thigh pockets on my jeans.
Before she starts getting any ideas, I swat her hands away and say:
"Save it for the weekend grabby." And laugh at her.
"Oh, you're lucky we're in class." She says before winking at me.
What a freak.
She's wearing makeup again today, she's got winged eyeliner that goes to the opposite ends of her face or something. When she'd gotten up close and personal with me, it smelled like she was wearing perfume too.
When we'd first met, she was always smelling like sweat and sports, and her clothes were mostly masculine. Is that a word to describe clothing? She wore baggy clothes, mostly T-shirts and sweaters. Today she's wearing a tank-top shirt and a black choker that goes along her neck. And her lips are shimmering in the light, they're a brighter pinkish-red hue. Her hair isn't done today, but seeing strands of hair run off the edge of her head and shine in the lights above us in the classroom is nice too.
Maybe I just feel comforted around her. I know we're going to have to separate eventually, or maybe even sooner than expected.
Someday soon, I'll have to kill someone. I don't know who they are, and I don't know if whoever is out there will use the people I care about to threaten me. I'll have to end my attachment to her and to the kids in the boardgame club. I don't want to become reclusive, but keeping the people I love as far away from me as possible is the only thing that comes to mind when thinking of how to protect them.
Emma noticed my expression becoming sad, and she caught on quickly.
"What's the matter, Dan? Are you feeling alright? Did you catch that cold everyone's been getting?" She places her cold hand on my forehead.
I hold her hand for just a moment and feel the softness of her wrist before letting go.
"No, I'm just tired. Maybe I've been working too much at Vanessa's and playing games too late at night." I smile at her.
"You're lucky I can't play with you; I'd show you the ropes at whatever game you have. Mom hasn't paid for the internet this month, that bitch." She grimaces before putting on her usual smile again.
The bells ring and Mr. Radek returns and begins the lesson.
About 45 minutes passed before Mr. Radek approached me, and he came up to the desk where I and Emma were studying while Emma used the washroom.
"Excuse me, Dan, you did this part wrong." He said quietly, before taking the pen in his hand and writing a note on the assignment he'd handed us earlier.
Mr. Radek looks tense, like, and while teaching he was lost in thought a few times. He lost his train of thought a few times during the lesson, one of the students asked him if he was having a stroke.
Mr. Radek's note said. "We can talk after school, Meet me in the class."
I told him thank you for helping me with the chemistry problem.
And just like that he'd left to help other students with their work.
I took a pen and began scribbling on my paper to conceal Mr. Radek's note. Emma returned after a few minutes and kept staring around the classroom, she looked restless today.
The last half hour of class was normal, Emma fell asleep though. I never understood how girls can just sleep, even when they're surrounded by so much noise. Anna sleeps in class too.
I and Emma ate lunch together with her friend Carly. She's been having boy problems recently; her boyfriend has been distant and easily upset with her. I didn't know what to do to console her, so I found a way to slip away from them early on and go hide in the biology class before lunch.
Charlie and Claire are in here, no sign of Anna though. Usually, Anna and Claire are stuck at the hip with one another.
"Hey, Danny." Charlie greeted me, smiling as usual. He looks well-rested for someone who was playing games with us all night. He looks like he got a haircut recently, his medium blonde hair is now short and styled brushed upwards, with longer hairs in the center of his scalp, and the side of his head had a taper fade. It looks good on him.
"Hey Charlie, nice haircut, where'd you get that done?" I ask him.
"Oh, same place as you? Do you really like it? I thought it didn't suit me at first, but it's nice to have someone give me a compliment." He says while keeping a calm and cheery tone of voice.
"Oh, you got a haircut. I didn't even notice. Sorry, Charlie." Claire looks sad when she's talking.
"No, it's okay. You don't need to apologize, I thought of trying something new." He gives her sympathy even though she doesn't ask for it.
"Claire is sorry." She speaks in the third person, then runs her hands through his hair.
He looks coy while she does so.
"Well, Danny's hungry, so you two, shut up," I say before sitting down and grabbing a sandwich from my bag.
Claire looks at me with spite in her eyes, she's always vindictive when you jokingly offend her. I don't think she understands the contextual cues of social interaction sometimes.
I assure her I'm joking. It doesn't do much to quell her and she ignores me to be petty. Charlie got a kick out of it at least.
"So, how've you been, Dan? You haven't come by the club lately, Kelly misses you." He laughs when he says that.
Oh god, maybe he's grown some attachment to me. It's all because I watched a few episodes of anime with him, isn't it? Everyone else was asleep and he wanted someone to watch his shows with him at Josh's place. I fucked up, this is a mortal folly. I'll have to exclude myself from all activities with him from now on.
Kidding, it's not that dramatic. Everyone needs friends, even the weebs.
"Oh, does he? I see him every morning though." I reply.
"I think he wants to spend time in a more intimate setting, like when we're hanging out at Josh's. You should come by this weekend, we're gonna play Left 4 dead 2 together, we'll make a team online and play against others. It'll be fun." He says before grabbing his phone and texting someone back, then he turns to Claire and tells her that she should check her phone for once.
"I can't, I've got plans," I tell him about how me and Emma are gonna be hanging out Friday.
"Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude on your romantic endeavors then." He winks at me.
Mhm, real romantic.
After a few minutes of talking, I finish up my lunch and start reading my biology notes before the class starts, usually, Anna is here to help me extrapolate information from textbooks, I'm not good at biology. It's one of the sciences that doesn't interest me, but Ms. Simmons does interest me. So, I show up for it.
The rest of the day went as it usually does, Mr. Hitchcock was still the substitute teacher for Ms. Simmons, so class was boring. Math is usually uneventful.
When the bell rang for the end of the day, I returned to Mr. Radek's classroom. There were a few lingering students in his class, but when they'd left, I entered the chemistry class. I forgot to close the door on the way in. Mr. Radek had several papers on his desk where he sat, and he greeted me with his usual teacher persona, not the scary persona who wanted to shoot me in the face.
"Danny, my boy, you're here. I've got a chemistry joke for you." He says before signaling me to come closer to him. His face looks shaved today, he seems a bit calmer than he was yesterday.
"Why can't you trust Atoms?" He says while taking out a small set of Post-it notes.
"I don't know, why?" I humor him.
"Because they make up everything!" He laughs hardily and points downwards, there are three separate notes.
"Oh and Danny, did you manage to finish those assignments?" He asks me, before pushing a note towards my way. The note says:
"We don't know who could be listening."
Then he pushes another note toward me.
"Did you bring your gun to school today?"
I nod a no and say:
"No, I haven't finished my assignment, I was actually having trouble with it and hoped you could help me out," I say to him. He looks relieved, as though he can at least trust me not to bring a firearm to school.
Then, a final note.
"After we're done here, we'll drive to the same place as yesterday."
He planned out a whole set of notes to ask me questions, maybe he knew I'd leave the door open, or he wouldn't be able to talk about the game in public without being sure no one was around.
We spent about 30 minutes at his desk going through the chemistry assignments, he'd basically just answered all the questions for me though. There were a few passing students that wandered in, it's probably because the door was open that they'd felt an obligation to enter the class. We played the part of teacher and student pretty well; I'd like to think.
Afterward, we got ready to head towards the campground for the second day in a row, I hope it's not too suspicious.
As we left the empty halls of the school, there were two janitors cleaning the floors along the halls and a teacher was having small talk with them while drinking a cup of coffee. It's nice that they don't treat the Janitors as lesser people, that seems to happen a lot in different business hierarchies.
We'd passed by the open classroom where the boardgame students were playing together, they'd spotted me as me and Mr. Radek were leaving. I just waved at them and continued walking with Mr. Radek.
They didn't bother to follow us, but a small part of me hoped they would, so we could play a game of chess together, or something.
When leaving the building, it was immediately cold outside. As we made it towards the parking lot, there were puddles that had frozen over, but with small pockets of water underneath the surface of the ice. The weather is grey and gloomy again, but without the high winds, we had yesterday. So, just slightly calmer.
After entering Mr. Radek's car, there's a small reprieve that I feel. I'd made it through an entire day, the sensor was up the entire time. And being alone, and away from prying ears and eyes feels nice. Mr. Radek started his vehicle, and we began driving. He turned off his phone as we began driving and told me to do the same. But I don't have my phone on me.
We begin driving towards my place.
"We'll pick up your pistol first and grab yourself a jacket. We're going to go on a little hike together at the campground. You hid it, correct?" he asks me while focusing on the road ahead.
"Yeah, it's hidden in my closet, at the bottom of a box that I haven't used in years. No one ever goes in my room anyway." I tell him.
"Alright, that's good." There's a sense of relief on his face. It would be hard to trust someone like me, I guess. I was an addict and a shitty person. But I'm doing better, he should have more faith in me.
And to begin with, why does he think I trust him completely? I'm not blindly following him....
We pull up to my place in less than a song's duration, the song "Like a g6" was playing on the radio as we left the school and didn't finish by the time we made it to my place.
Mr. Radek parked in the back alleyway again.
I run inside, ignoring my mom and dad asking me something, and made a beeline straight for my room to grab the pistol and an extra sweater to throw overtop my current hoodie. I didn't bother to remove my shoes while I ran upstairs. I also grab my phone that I'd left charging at the outlet near my bed frame.
I place the pistol in my backpack and run back downstairs before my mom yells at me for ignoring her:
"Danny! You bonehead did you hear me?" she asks while sitting at the kitchen table.
"Oh, sorry Mom. Did you say something?" I ask her while looking at her and the backdoor.
"Yes, I said are you going to head to Vanessa's place this week? She really needs some help around the store." She says to me while angry she's clearly angry.
"Sorry, yeah. I am going to, but I'll have to do that tomorrow." I tell her.
She doesn't look pleased with my answer. And she looks outside and asks me who I'm with, and that the car is unfamiliar.
"Oh, that's my teacher. Mr. Radek, he's the chemistry teacher. I'm actually going back to school right now, I just came to grab something for a friend and my phone." I say while looking towards the door.
"What are you grabbing, for who? And Mr. Radek? Why are you with your teacher." She presses me for answers and I'm not great at making up lies on the spot.
"For my friend Emma, she's playing volleyball right now and forgot to bring a sweater to school. So I grabbed her an extra one of mine and I'm gonna walk her home later." I tell her while checking the time on my phone.
4:05 P.M
"Okay, well. I guess that's understandable. Who's Emma, though? I've never met her." Mom begins coughing, her raspy voice is the product of smoking. Her speeches are often punctuated by her smoker's cough when she gets get upset with me.
She looks so small, sitting alone in the kitchen again, while Dad is drinking beer in the living room. It's like this kitchen is her only bubble where she can be alone, I remember vividly being kids, mom would sit at this same table and smoke cigarette after cigarette, and her face tells a tale of years of stress. She must be in her late 30s right now, and despite her rough exterior and wrinkling face, she's still Mom. I feel bad for disappointing her.
I know she's only scolding me because she cares about me.
She believes that having a strong work ethic is the key to succeeding, and she wants nothing more than to see me succeed. She'd often tell me about how she could only finish high school when she was younger but had dreams to be a Doctor or a lawyer, I know she used to resent my being born, especially in my adolescence. Dad never tried to hide his resentment of me, but at least she did.
Fuck. Thinking of stupid things again.
"Sorry Mom, I won't be shirking my responsibilities anymore, tomorrow I'll be at Vanessa's and will happily work my minimum wage job, and I'll beat up the kids who try to steal anything from her, too," I say while laughing.
She seems happier with my response now. Her stern voice had become more agreeable, and her furrowed brows receded to a neutral position on her face, and she butted out her cigarette and told me:
"Alright son, I just don't want to see you become unmotivated, I've got to be here to encourage you when you're flaking out of your shifts, work is hard and it's easier to play around, but you won't get far if you only play." She says to me before waving me to get out of her kitchen, I happily oblige and run back to Mr. Radek's vehicle through the backdoor.
I closed the fenced door to the backyard and entered Mr. Radek's passenger seat, he confirmed that I had everything, and we backed out of the alleyway where he'd parked. We start our drive to the campground once again.
After driving for a few minutes in silence, my thoughts, or lack of thoughts, were interrupted by Mr. Radek.
"Danny, I think you're going to need to distance yourself from your friends. At least for a while." He tells me out of the blue.
"Why do you say that?" I immediately ask. I know it's... something that will have to happen. But they're the whole reason I'm doing better, or maybe the reason I'm doing better is me... but I'm not ready to separate from them.
"You don't want them to get hurt, do you?" He sounds sad while he talks. His eyes are focused on the road, but I can hear the sympathetic tone of voice, on our somber drive towards the highway.
"What do you mean by that?" I question him.
"Your friends... we wouldn't want them to get wrapped up in this whole thing. They're not exactly... stupid kids either, they might notice something is up and that you aren't acting like yourself. We're only in the early stages of it, but when it comes down to it, we're going to have to kill others. That's the unsettling reality we're looking towards right now. I've never killed someone, but I know you have to get it into your mind, and your heart, that we'll have to put an end to others, and it seems to be that we'll have to kill a lot." He's completely serious while he talks, and he doesn't pause or sugarcoat our situation.
"You're right... I just, they're my friends. They've helped me to stay away from drugs, and do better in school..." I begin looking out the window.
The sun is beginning to set, there's a small break in the clouds that lets a small ray of light escape the airspace and set its warm glow upon a nearby building just up ahead of us.
"I know they mean a lot to you; you don't need to completely cut off contact, but it'll be easier if you slowly wean them away, and become more dedicated to things like your job... I don't know. It would be unusual to stop talking with them suddenly, and that could be suspicious, but if you continue to spend your time with them and you're targeted or marked, they'll be the first people who could be harmed to bring you down, whether they're kidnapped or threatened." As Mr. Radek is talking, we've made it towards the highway, almost nearly the same place we were yesterday when the "In Vicinity." The signal disappeared; it disappeared again today.
"No, you're right. I just don't want to lose them, they're important to me, but I don't want them to be hurt because of me. I know it will hurt Emma's feelings, but she'll forget about me anyway." I assure him I'll begin to discretely make myself distant from them after the weekend.
"Sorry Dan, if it's any consolation, I'm distancing myself from my own family right now. My wife thinks I'm at work still." Mr. Radek grabs a cigarette from his jacket and lights it as we drive on the highway, before pulling over to the side of the road and making a U-turn back to town.
"I thought we were going to the camp?" I ask Mr. Radek.
"Not yet, I just wanted to see how far we could get before the signal disappeared. We're about 3 kilometers from your place... That's quite a large radius." He says before driving back towards town.
He was gauging the distance of the sensor. Interesting, I guess. The streetlights have sprung up in a random pattern toward town. They're not all on yet, but small patches of lights have begun to flicker on. We keep driving back home and I tell him about what happened last night.
We get back into range of the sensor and the "in-vicinity" again enters my vision, which reminds me.
"Mr. Radek, the signal disappeared last night. Around 12:30, do you know what that could mean?" I asked him while staring at the scenery outside. The trees look more barren today than they did yesterday.
He pondered the question for a few seconds.
"It could be that someone works a night shift. Or that they go out at night? Or that they died? I don't know, did the signal come back up in the morning?"
"Yeah, it did, the signal came up and everything. It felt nice that it was gone while I went to bed, but it also creeped me out. What if they're actively searching for others at night, or something?"
"We won't be able to know for sure for a while, I think. Finding intermediary players who we have no recollection of will be difficult, drawing them out will be even harder." He says while we've made it along the outskirts of town.
"You said you had suspicions about who could be a part of it right? Could you tell me who they are?"
Mr. Radek didn't answer immediately.
"No, I can't. At least not right now." He spoke as if he was recalling something.
"Why not? Don't you trust me? Aren't we a team?" I press him for an answer.
I don't even think I want an answer, maybe being argumentative is my only way to vent the frustration I've been feeling.
"That's why I can't tell you right now. Your immediate response is bothersome to me, you're being too emotional as things are right now. It's dangerous to tell you, what if you were to mark them and then we'd be screwed on how to plan out killing them." He tells me, before taking a drag from his smoke.
"What do you mean, you think I'm dangerous?"
"Yes, but not in the sense that you'll do something drastic. I do trust you; we have to. But there are other problems that could occur with telling you. I'm sure you'd be content knowing who they are, but it also affects your focus to know. You could become fixated on their movements, and they may take notice of your constantly watching eyes. I'm in a position where I can be aware of them, but if you were to follow them around during school hours or glare at them during class, they'd take notice of it." He pauses again.
"They might know who you are already and suspect you, I'm sorry, but you'll have to be kept in the dark right now." We've just passed a gas station near the edge of town.
I know he's right. I'm impatient right now. Mr. Radek can see things I lack and he makes up for it, he's given me a weapon to defend myself and everything... I don't know, I want to know who could be a part of this. But knowing could put us in danger, and as he said before, he's a very cautious man.
The smoke from his cigarette is wafting around the cab, I open a window to mitigate the smell of smoke.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel bad, but you feeling bad isn't the worst thing that could happen. We could both die and if not we, our friends, or family. We have to tread carefully; we can't let anyone know our identity or give way for others to find us before we find them. I'm sorry for doing things in such a roundabout way." Mr. Radek looks tense again.
The cars passing by move as a blur, and streams of their headlights affect me as my eyes can't keep up with them when they move in the opposite direction of us.
"It's alright," I reply.
Just a few more minutes of driving before we're near the center of town again.
"Well, are you feeling hungry? You haven't eaten supper, right? We should get something to eat." Mr. Radek begins looking around at the multiple restaurant buildings that pop up but ultimately chooses a Subway that's connected to a strip of buildings. Adjacent to the restaurant is an eye doctor. Kind of an odd place for an eye doctor.
"But before we eat, I'd like you to do something for me." Mr. Radek parks near the building and turns off the vehicle, we're about 2 buildings down from the subway restaurant, in front of a locally owned coffee shop.
"Alright, what do you want me to do?" I ask.
"Let's start with testing out the mark. We have to know the conditions to make it work. I already tried a few things yesterday but couldn't risk doing it without being absolutely sure I knew someone was a part of this or wasn't a part of it. It's complicated, I guess." He chuckles a bit.
"Anyway, I had tried to mark a student from the second story of the school, and it worked. I mean, it was a miss. But it worked during that test." He says while licking his lips before speaking.
"And I also tried it on a person in a moving vehicle, they'd driven a few hundred meters away or so, I'm not sure, but there was no confirmation of a miss or a hit on the target." He says while looking outside of his vehicle.
"So, it's a matter of distance? Or is it because it was a moving vehicle?" I ask him.
"It could be both, that's what we're going to find out today." Mr. Radek's eyes look heavy, there are bags underneath his eyes, and he's been rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses every couple of minutes.
The parking lot we're in is filled with cars still, it's about 4:28 P.M., so there are people still working in the buildings, those who work til' 5, anyway. There are a few people outside walking into and out of buildings, and the cars behind us are waiting for a red light to pass.
"Anyway, Danny, I want you to look into the rear-view mirror and speak the words "Mark." On the vehicle directly behind us, you see the guy who's got his arm outside of the passenger seat and who's stuck in traffic. Aim for him." He looks backward at them. And is squinting his eyes to get a better look at them.
"Alright." I position the rear-view mirror in a way that focuses on the vehicle and speak the word in my mind.
"Mark."
The voice tells me that there was a miss.
"It worked, but he's not a part of the game," I say, slightly relieved. If he was a part of it, we'd have to tail him and kill him though.
"Interesting. Okay, so we can use mirrors to mark someone as well. Maybe we'll have to start carrying mirrors with us. Well, next I want you to take out your phone and take a picture of the next person who comes out of the building." He speaks calmly, but almost like he's enjoying this.
A few minutes pass, and I take a photo of someone who left the eye doctor's building.
"Okay, I want you to focus on the photo you took and speak the word mark." Mr. Radek tells me. I think it's a bit silly and doubt it will work.
"Mark."
Nothing happens. I let Mr. Radek know.
"Okay, so we need to be looking at the real person in order for it to work..." He starts rubbing his beard hair and looking seriously straight ahead. There's a woman in the coffee shop who's staring at us. I smile and wave and tell Mr. Radek to not stare at people.
He looked shocked and didn't realize he was spacing out and staring at the woman in the shop, he waves as well and looked apologetic. Mr. Radek had begun to look around, his bright blue eyes seemed to absorb the minimal amount of light still outdoors. He'd spent a few minutes looking around, watching other people walk by until he turned to me and pointed at a person in the distance.
There was a man and woman walking together, the man was wearing a black hoodie, with the hood up and his face was in the opposite direction of us.
"Danny, try on the man walking there, not the lady he's walking with." He says and I quickly look their way.
"Mark."
"Nothing happened, I think it's because I couldn't see his face," I tell Mr. Radek.
"I thought it might be like that, okay. I think we've done enough for today, let's grab something to eat." Mr. Radek removes the keys from his ignition and puts them in his pocket.
He begins walking towards the Subway, and I follow behind.
I can immediately feel the cold outside on my face, the concrete parking lot is hard against my feet. When I walk, there's no echo to my footsteps, probably due to all the vehicles and buildings in our surroundings interfering with the soundwaves that echoes could produce.
As I'm walking towards Mr. Radek, I think it's not exactly a great idea to leave a firearm unattended in a backpack, I don't know if car theft is a normal occurrence around here, but we wouldn't want that stolen. Mr. Radek stopped outside the restaurant and started smoking. Typical behavior of him, he handed me a twenty and told me to get whatever, and that he wasn't hungry.
I told him thanks and wandered in, to see the Subway worker looking drained, or maybe high. He's staring off into the distance, his eyes are red from fatigue, or from being high. I don't know which one, I'd probably be stoned if I was working in a sandwich shop. Whatever, I begin to make my order. I had to correct the worker several times on how much of each sandwich filling I wanted, and the whole ordeal was inconvenient. The sandwich didn't come out the way I wanted it to, anyway. But food is food.
Mr. Radek was already finished his smoke by the time I got outside and was back in his vehicle. I could see the headlights on in the distance, so I moseyed my way over to him and hopped in the passenger side.
"You can just eat that in here, Danny. We're going to go for a ride to the shooting range in town, I'm a member of it and use it often. You'll need to be familiar with it, if you want to use it in actual combat." He tells me before reversing our way out of the parking lot.
I finish the sandwich on the drive, spilling the sauce on my sweater and pants from the bumps on the drive.
The streetlights have all turned on by now, and the traffic has begun to spike up from people being done work and heading home. It all feels so surreal, to watch them drive home, to their families. I can't help but feel envious of the passing cars, knowing they're going home to comfort and safety, and we're constantly on edge, worried that at any time we could be marked and killed.
There's no point in thinking about that, though. By the time I started thinking my pessimistic thoughts, we'd already made it to the shooting range.
There's a sign above the building that says: "Only hot shots."
Mr. Radek tells me to hand him the pistol before we enter the building. He takes it and puts it into a proper case for it, a shiny briefcase with molds inside meant to carry the weapon and any individual parts. He also unloaded it.
"We can't exactly just walk into the range and have you take a pistol out of your backpack, can we?" He seems happy for the first time today, maybe this is his destressing place.
He walks into the building, and I trot behind him. I feel both nervous and excited, I've never fired a weapon before. And I'm being taught by my chemistry teacher, which is weird. Typically you're taught how to do things like this by your father, but my dad doesn't do much besides work and drink beer.
Upon entering the building, it smells like gunpowder, and there the lights are bright. There is the customer service desk to the right of the entrance, and a long line of booths beside each other. There are several customers here already, and they're all getting ready to use the shooting range. There's a large variety of different people of all ages, but the majority of them are older men, but there are a few women. The entrance rug...mat thing, is wet and filled with mud residue.
Mr. Radek is greeted by an older gentleman, presumably a staff member. He's slightly overweight, not too much. The man is bald with a white-haired goatee and he has tan marks on his face, probably from wearing sunglasses. He's very friendly with Mr. Radek.
"Jason! How are you, you son of a bitch." He says to Mr. Radek, before patting him on the shoulder.
"Hey Daryl, how are you today? Wife still mad at you about last weekend?" Mr. Radek asks in a cheery tone.
"Oh, you know my Donna, she always forgives me once I romance her up a bit, you know." He says while laughing and pushing Mr. Radek in the side with his elbow.
They're both laughing before Mr. Radek introduces me.
"Oh right, this is my student, Daniel. Daniel said that he wanted to learn how to use a firearm, but he doesn't have anyone around who can help him out. And you know me, being the best teacher in that damn school, am wasting my precious free time to teach him." Mr. Radek looks at me and smiles, his weathered face is rough, but he sounds like a father right now, or a kind uncle.
"Well, nice to meet you, sir." Daryl looks my way and puts his hand out for a handshake, I oblige. He has a firm grip and looks me in the eyes as he's shaking my hand.
"Hey, I'm Daniel. I'm the son Mr. Radek never had." I say jokingly.
Mr. Radek smiles and shakes his head.
"So, I wanted to sign Danny up for a membership here, I figure I could share this hobby with him. He's a good enough kid." Mr. Radek says.
"Right, right. We can get that figured out afterward, if he's here with you then we can say that his first session is waived, on me." Daryl says while winking at me.
"Don't you do that for every new customer?" Mr. Radek says jokingly.
Daryl hushes him and says in a low voice.
"You ain't supposed to tell no one that." Before again laughing with each other.
I find it amazing Mr. Radek is so close to Daryl, and he's able to speak so fluidly with others the way he does. You wouldn't be able to tell that under that cheery exterior is a strained and anxious man.
Daryl escorts us to range we can use, and Mr. Radek explains the rules to firing the gun at the range before he lets me touch the pistol at all.
"Okay, first of all. You always keep the weapon unloaded until you're ready to discharge it. Secondly, you need to make sure that the weapon is never pointed away from the range where you're shooting. Third, you never put your finger on the trigger until you're ready to shoot. Got it? Don't touch the trigger until you're ready." While he talking, he places the briefcase on the countertop near the firing range.
Daryl: "Yes that's right, and if you ever hear anyone yell "Cease fire." You need to immediately stop shooting.
Radek: "That's right, I was getting to that part. Thanks for interrupting me, Daryl." He laughs.
"You'll have to respect others around you, this means that you can't take away their focus when they're shooting. You don't want to distract someone while they're firing a loaded weapon."
Daryl's eyes are crinkling with a warm smile while staring at Mr. Radek.
"I'm surprised you can remember all that in your old age.". They're both standing near the range and Daryl, again pushes Radek's arm.
"I've got to teach this young man properly; you know how it is." Mr. Radek's sharp eyes look my way, with a gentle expression.
I smile back from the friendly atmosphere. There are more members heading in now, so Daryl takes his leave.
"How are you feeling, Dan?" Mr. Radek is carrying the pistol and removing any bullets left in the pistol's magazine, as well as the bullet in the chamber.
"I'm a bit nervous, I've never held a gun until the other day," I reply.
"Nothing to be nervous about, my boy. I'll help you any way I can. We're a team, remember?" He places the pistol on the counter, now unloaded.
"Okay, first, I'll teach you how to load the gun. I'm sure you know that this is called a magazine, you must play games and stuff like that." He says while taking the metal casing to the light and bringing it closer to my face.
Radek takes the magazine and begins to fill it with ammunition. I watch attentively as he places each individual bullet into position. When he's finished, he puts the magazine into the pistol.
"Notice that I haven't moved the barrel from the position it's been pointing down range, that's important. You shouldn't ever have to point the weapon anywhere that could hurt others, alright, Dan?"
I find that statement morbidly ironic, especially his warm expression while he's saying it.
Mr. Radek goes on to explain that the pistol is semiautomatic, meaning the gun will automatically cycle through ammunition as it's fired. He also teaches me the proper technique for carrying the pistol, and to keep in mind that there will be some recoil when I'm firing the live rounds. Mr. Radek first gives me a demonstration and tells me to notice his stance when firing.
He hasn't put the magazine of loaded ammunition into the pistol, and he simply wants me to see the correct motions for firing the weapon. He looks so controlled and calm, as he grasps the pistol grip, he shows me to keep my finger above the trigger guard until I'm ready to shoot. As well as where the safety for the pistol is.
Mr. Radek carries the pistol, and himself, very ruggedly. It looks like he's familiar with it, as though he's held the same gun a hundred times over. He hasn't even removed his coat yet, the button near the top is unbuttoned, revealing his black tie and white dress shirt, he's wearing khaki-colored dress pants, and what looks like hiking boots. With his dark hair and beard, he looks very dignified. There isn't a spec of perspiration on his face, he's completely calm and focused as he stares down the iron sights of the pistol, with the glare of the indoor lights on his glasses.
"Alright, now you give it a try. We won't load the pistol yet." Mr. Radek hands me the gun.
It feels strange to carry, and the weight of the pistol is more than I imagined. I follow the same motions as Mr. Radek, but when I'm staring down the pistol's sights, my hands feel shaky and I can feel my form being inadequate. Mr. Radek offers me several different tips on how to hold myself up. He moves my left leg forward, and my right leg aiming to my right-hand side. They're in an awkward L shape.
Finally, Mr. Radek hands me the ammunition and tells me to keep the safety on and the barrel aimed down range when loading it. I do my best to follow his instructions.
I emulate the same motions Mr. Radek taught me, and the first couple of shots were rocky at best, but as time went on I felt my confidence in holding it grow. Daryl checked in on us several times. Mr. Radek told me that breathing is important in your control when firing, and when firing to inhale, hold my breath, exhale a bit, and then fire.
Of course, in a real gunfight, I won't have the luxury of a motionless target, but consistency is important. I've got to practice. While firing I try to imagine myself in a life-or-death situation, a few seconds of hesitation or a missed shot could result in me or Mr. Radek dying, I've got to take this as seriously as I can. We don't know if we'll be the ones to take the initiative in a fight.
When we're done, Mr. Radek takes care of putting the weapon away and speaking to the employees at the range, they talk to me as well.
"Well, how was it? Did Jason here scare the shit out of you when you were shooting?" Daryl asked me.
"The opposite, he was very concise and accurate in everything he told me to do. Mr. Radek is a great teacher."
"Well, I remember he was a lot less calm and "concise" he was a younger man. You wanna know how he got his crooked nose?" Daryl asks me, but Mr. Radek stops him and tells him not to harass his student.
They spend a few minutes talking to each other, and I stand awkwardly to the side, looking at the various ammunition behind the customer service counter that they sell here.
Mr. Radek reminds me of my mom when I was younger, and she'd see an old friend in the grocery store or something, adult people sure like talking for some reason. Maybe I'll be an adult someday, hopefully.
I can't help but feel uneasy, the sensor is always up in town, it's always in my vision. And being in a building with so many firearms going off, it's just, freaky.
When we finally leave, it's gotten dark out already. The sky is laden with patches of black, but there's enough light pollution to see overhanging clouds float across the sky.
On the way home, Mr. Radek begins thinking out loud.
"I hate that I'm reminded of the sensor at any given moment of the day. I think about it all the time, and I have so many questions about how it works. Is it like, a spherical bubble that surrounds us? With us being the center, and the radius of the bubble. Does it take into account both vertical and horizontal distance, or is it only measured horizontally... no, it would make sense for it to be vertical and horizontal, due to buildings existing... fuck. That entity told us we'd be figuring it out, but it really didn't give us much to work with." He was mumbling as he spoke, but I could hear him.
Mr. Radek doesn't turn on the radio very often.
"English, next time, please. I can't understand what you're saying."
"Right, you'll have to forgive me, I'm used to mumbling by myself and not with a student beside me." He says while lighting a smoke.
He hands me one too. Weirdly enough.
"Let's not worry about it for now, we made some progress today with training and figuring out how to use the tools given to us by that entity, I'll drop you off at home today."
On the way home, I wonder about how to distance myself from my friends, Radek probably thought about this too, but what if one of them are part of the game as well? There's no telling how many, or who could be a part of it. And Mr. Radek has information that he isn't going to tell me yet.
"Whatever..." I think to myself, I've got to be useful to him, in any way I can.
When we get to my place, Mr. Radek hands me the pistol and tells me to load it myself tonight. He also hands me bullets in a small cardboard box, and just like that, another day is done without dying. Isn't that morbid?