During the drive home, I and Mr.Radek had a chat about what to do. Specifically, I asked him if he knows about any other players.
"I have my suspicions, but they're not as easy to confirm as you were." He said while keeping his eyes on the road.
"I think we'll have another talk about that, but we can do that in the next couple of days."
"There are some more pressing concerns for me regarding that, like how are we supposed to find people neither of us have memories of? What if they have memories of us? What if they aren't people in our social circle, who exist outside of our field of influence." When he spoke, he seemed in deep thought.
I thought of that too but came up with a blank.
Mr. Radek had barely turned the steering wheel as we were driving, the highway was a straight stretch of road.
"I have some working theories. You know how we have a sensor, right?" The traffic has begun to thicken the closer we've got to town, Mr. Radek looks on edge when cars pass us by, their headlights illuminate the cab of his car and his expression is relieved each time they pass us.
"Yeah, it's hard to forget it when it's constantly in our vision. It's been present for most of the day." After speaking I turn my way to look out the window, and again back to the glove compartment.
"Well, what if we could use it to triangulate other players? When we're out of range, we're told that there aren't any other players around, and the words "in-vicinity" disappear. What if we were to manipulate that to our advantage so that we leave the range of the sensor and note the distance it takes to get back into range? And we do this from multiple directions to estimate the location of another player."
"Like we're playing battleship?" I ask.
"Sort of, but it wouldn't work right now. We don't know the radius of the sensor, that entity told us that the sensor would start off being very large, and shrink in distance as others are eliminated. We don't know how many players there are either." Mr. Radek grits his teeth while he's talking.
"There's too much we don't know, which is also why I needed you to help me. I couldn't do this alone." He turns to me, momentarily averting his gaze from the highway.
He looks fatigued, there are canyons underneath his eyes, and he probably needs an old man nap.
There are a few abandoned homes along the side of the road, Mr. Radek is looking at them as we drive past.
"Do you think we could use those? If we ever need to run away to a secluded area?" He asks, before I can answer, he speaks
"I'm glad to have you here, Danny." He begins to swerve into the opposite lane.
"Whoops gotta pay attention to the road." He says while driving back into the correct lane.
"I'm glad you didn't shoot me in the classroom," I say sarcastically.
"Sorry about that, I wouldn't have done it. I don't think I could've." He sounds defeated.
"Anyway, there's a lot of things I'd like to test, I'll work on problem-solving, and you can help to test any theories. We'll beat this thing, I promise."
"That's good with me, as long as I can pull my weight somehow."
We remain silent for most of the drive back home.
"Hey Danny, you know when you see a black deer on the highway, it's a sign?" He asks me, lightheartedly.
"What do you mean it's a sign?" I ask him.
He smiles for the first time since we started talking.
"It's a sign." He doesn't elaborate on what he meant.
"Danny, where do you live?" We've been driving for nearly 20 minutes. We're close to the school now.
"11th street, just past the train tracks, it's about a 10 or 15-minute walk from the school," I tell him.
"Oh yeah, that's just a stone's throw away from the school, huh?" We stop along the side of the road.
Mr. Radek turns on the light in the cab of his car and grabs a piece of paper and a pen.
He begins jotting something down on it.
"Right, here's my number. We can keep in contact that way but don't ever mention the game during the texts. We should have zero evidence of us being in contact with each other for it, we'll talk in person and only when necessary." He hands me his note.
He starts driving again and talking.
"Tomorrow, I want you to take the bus to school. You shouldn't be alone from now on, stay in a crowd when you can." He tells me.
I liked my walk to school, but he's right. What about my walk to Vanessa's shop though?
"Being alone could make you an easy target, depending on the range of the sensors and others' observation capabilities, you could be found out relatively quickly." He tells me.
"Alright, I'll take the bus," I speak.
"And when you woke up this morning, were you in range of the sensor?"
Oh shit, no I wasn't. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary when I woke up, the sensor didn't come up until after my blackout.
"No, I didn't have the sensor when I woke up," I tell him.
Mr. Radek broods over my response.
"Hm, you woke up around 7, right? So that means no one was in the school yet, so we can't rule out that the range of the sensor extends to the school yet. Maybe you should come into school a little late, or just stay at home for a bit, or call in sick and see if the sensor goes from your house to the school and let me know. But let's do that on Thursday, you should come to school tomorrow and act normal, as normal as you can." He begins taking several turns, and we're almost at my place.
"Well, let's put that thought away for now." He tells me.
We've made it up to my place at this point. It's dark outside by now, Mr. Radek pulls into the back alley near my house.
The row of condos was run-down and in disrepair. The paint peeling on the homes, and some windows were smashed in and covered with plastic or boards. Along the edge of the fences separating the homes, are cluttered with old furniture and debris. The lawns were overgrown, except mine. Thanks, me, for fixing that. There was litter scattered around the ground, the overall atmosphere was one of neglect and poverty.
It sucks here, but it's home. It's where my family is waiting for me, at least mom is.
"Do you know how to shoot a gun, Dan?" Mr. Radek turns to me in the cab and turns off his ignition.
It's dark in the car, we're far from the streetlights and can only see each other's silhouettes. I can his beard defined in the shadows. It looks funny.
"No, I don't. I haven't even held a gun before." I say while looking down towards the glove compartment.
"Alright, you take that pistol with you. I have several other firearms at home, I spent a lot of time hunting during my younger years and built up a bit of a collection." He says while reaching over past me and opening the compartment.
He carries it in his hand and his arm is in front of me while he points it towards the window.
"Remember, it's for self-defense. Don't fuck around with it and don't have any misfires with it. The last thing we need is the neighbors calling the cops on you after hearing gunshots." He says sternly like he's disciplining a child.
I take the pistol from him.
Holding the pistol, it feels weighty and unfamiliar in my hand. It was a strange sensation, knowing that I was carrying a deadly weapon. One pull of the trigger could end a life, and that's what it will be used for when the time comes. I couldn't shake off the nervousness of holding it and began to feel the sleek metal along the barrel and place my finger along the trigger.
I was being careless with where it was pointing and Mr. Radek pointed the gun down, his hands clasped mine with force.
"Watch where you're fucking pointing the damn thing." He tells me.
"The safety isn't on. I didn't take it off." He almost sounds like he wants to shout at me.
"You've got to be more careful, Dan." He says while breathing a sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry, I haven't carried a weapon before. I didn't even think about the safety..." I mutter in a whisper.
"Ahh shit, okay. Tomorrow I'll have to teach you." He says while scratching his head.
He flicked the safety on for me and showed me where it was.
"Put it in your pocket, or your backpack. Just make sure no one sees it." He says to me before telling me I can go home now, and to text him if anything happens.
I place the gun in my bag, beside my school binder.
As I open the car door, he says one last thing to me before driving off.
"The sensor is up, so I don't know what this means. You'll have to keep me updated if it goes off again but don't text me. Just tell me after school tomorrow." And then he starts his car and begins to drive off down the road.
I watch him drive off, then walk into the fenced backyard.
There's a stinging sense of nostalgia looking at my childhood home, as well as a deep sadness and shame. All those years I wanted to come back home, and now here I am.
Don't have a lot of time to waste looking at my place though, it's cold as fuck out here and this shirt ain't cutting it.
I check the door to see if it's locked, but it isn't. I enter the house and immediately walk upstairs. Mom and Dad are watching TV together and only say a small greeting to me and that supper's in the microwave.
I walk up the old staircase, riddled with childhood memories. I and Thea would take our mattresses from our beds when we were kids and place them along the stairs and slide down. No one was ever around to stop us, I'm glad we didn't break any bones or something. Our landline phone was usually non-working due to Dad missing payments, if I wanted to call an ambulance in the past I wouldn't have been able to.
I wander into my room beside the bathroom and toss my bag on the floor and turn on the light.
Fuck, why did I do that? Immediately I begin to fumble through the bag and grab the pistol from the bag and walk to my closet.
There's a cardboard box in the otherwise junk-filled top of my closet, I put it in there for now and shove it in the corner, behind some crap I've accumulated.
It's nice to be home, it's warm. My feet feel good to be out of my shoes after a long day, I feel like I can relax my shoulders. I know the sensor is still up, but home feels safe.
Looking around my room, it looks like it did all those years ago. There are old shoeboxes beside my bed with old drawings I'd made as a kid, and my posters from bands are stapled and taped along the walls. There are old magazine clippings of different promotions for the bands I liked.
Above my bed is a poster of Rise Against, with Tim Mcllrath jumping in front of a live crowd, and a raised fist logo in the top right corner.
My bed looks unmade, and my pillows look old. I've had a "favorite" pillow for a long time, or at least I convinced myself I had a favorite. We were always too poor to afford new bedding.
The old tube TV in my drawer is connected to my Xbox, you have to connect those three colored wires to the TV, there's no HDMI port.
It seems so strange, to be home. Not sleeping on the side of the road or in a park. Not being woken up by shitty teenagers trying to fuck with the homeless or waking up to the sickness of opiate addiction. There's a bed here, I've even got friends.
My bed looks so appealing, I hop right into it. immediately I have the old familiar smell of home or mom's favorite laundry detergent, the cool sheet on my pillow feels nice on my face. There's a hint of the smell of chocolate. Right, I went trick or treating the other day.
Claire's costume is sitting in the corner of my room behind the door.
Oh fuck, right. I've got to find that note.
Where the hell did I put it? did mom grab it? The room looks mostly clean like she'd been in here while I was gone.
Maybe I cleaned it up? Did I throw it out?
There's a small garbage can beside my drawer. I walk towards it, there's old food and other disgusting things I haven't thrown out yet. Gotta make sure to throw away the trash from my room more often, it stinks. But I'm glad I've got this bad habit right now.
I reach my hands into the trash and look around for anything that could resemble paper. There are old food scraps that my hands and fingers rub against in the trash. There's a smelly and gooey... "Something" under my fingernails now. I find the paper below yesterday's supper.
Okay, got it. Mr. Radek said to burn it, so that's what I'll do.
I pull out my lighter and set it on fire. The paper fire quickly spreads from the bottom up, and I feel the heat of the fire on my finger and drop the paper instinctively. It lands on the carpeted floor and looks like the embers are spreading to the carpet.
Why the hell did I have to do it in my room? Gotta grab the old cup in my drawer, and run to the bathroom to fill it with water, as I'm running I spill over my garbage can on the floor. Fuck.
I filled it as quickly as I could in the bathroom, Thea must've heard me scrambling around and looking at me from the end of the hallway.
Splashing the cup onto the floor, the fire's gone out, and there's a slightly burnt spot on the carpet. And the old food is starting to wet the floor, and the mushy mashed potatoes from yesterday already look like they're gonna be a bitch to get out of the carpet.
Man, I never think about the consequences of my actions, why am I so stupid?
It smells rotten in the room now.
Thea popped her head up from behind me in the hallway and called me a dumb fuck for starting a fire. Didn't Vanessa ask me if I was gonna start a fire at some point too when she gave me this lighter? I can't remember now.
They ran off back to her room and slammed the door after belittling me.
I never think before I do things. Even today, I was so paranoid and never stopped to think of a real plan. If Mr. Radek wanted to kill me earlier, I'd be dead right now. I didn't even know I was falling right into his plans earlier.
All my planning is too shallow, I'm too impulsive. I jump at the slightest provocation that something could be out of the ordinary, or out to get me and don't bother thinking of the consequences of my actions. Like when I marked Emma at school today. What would my plan be after that? If she were a part of the game, then what? Kill her? I'd have no choice, right?
She's been by my side for so long now, I recognize her as a really good friend. Even though she acts like we're more than that. I've been scuffing off her feelings for a while now... sometimes I'll ignore her while under the guise of "being busy.". I'm probably just afraid of affection.
I don't even know how to satisfy the conditions of the game, and I'm not playing an active part in my own life, even now. Mr. Radek is guiding me along, what if he were to die? I've got to take this as seriously as he does, I have to be able to watch his back as well. Betraying each other is encouraged and not off the table, he'll know all my routines if I were to not be useful to him anymore. Fuuuck.
He said he's cautious, but he follows through with his words with action. Even if he's faking it, his plan to isolate me and intimidate me worked. And I followed him without following my gut feeling of wanting to escape him. What if he had thought things out beyond the classroom? What if he had a second weapon on him, and everything was a lie that he wanted to be a team together?
What would I do then?
I can't be so naïve anymore, for now though, I'll trust Radek. I'll need to put faith in him for now. I'm scared, in honesty. Really scared. The "in-vicinity." Hasn't gone away yet, what if someone is coming to kill me right now? What if they're actively searching for others? What if they're a sociopath who enjoys this shit? The sensor no longer works on me and Radek, we confirmed that at the camp. So, I know it's a stranger, an enemy.
I've got no one to talk to besides Radek either, I can't tell my mom or dad or friends, I have no choice but to be useful to Radek.
Fuck, I can't make any progress for the game right now. I can't just go wandering around the streets looking for someone to mark. That'll be like looking for a needle in a haystack. It's a small city, but there's still something like 40000 people living in it. I've already used the mark two times today, too.
Well. Let's check my phone for texts right now and let everyone know I'm still alive.
I walk to my bed and grab my phone out of my pocket before laying down, I left the garbage on the floor for the immediate future, I'll clean it up soon.
After laying down and feeling the comfort of my bed, I check my phone. Clicking the buttons on the front of the phone, and it's dead. Of course, it would be. There's a charger beside my bed, I plug it in and stare at the ceiling with the light still on. Fuck it, I'll clean up my mess now.
After cleaning up, I toss my crap out and take the garbage outside, I grabbed the kitchen garbage too, and threw it in the bin in the front of the house. That took about 5 minutes.
My phone is charged enough to turn on now, it takes a second to boot up but it eventually does.
My body feels stiff from anxiety, and I'm stressing myself out with all these thoughts. I want to text my friends, for the time being, just to feel normal.
There are a few messages from Emma, two at 5 and another at 5:27.
She sent a photo along with a message at 5.
It's just a picture of a metal spoon and her text says:
"You wanna spoon, you can be the big one."
Then another message says:
"Not funny? I think I'm hilarious." I can imagine her infectious laugh as she was typing that out.
Anna sent me a text too, weirdly enough.
"Hey, I wanna play a game of chess with you tomorrow, you gonna be free?" she asked.
I'll tell her I'm busy with work.
"Hey bro, sorry I got my job at the store tomorrow."
I'll reply to Emma too.
I start tapping against my phone:
"for 20$, I'll be whatever spoon you want me to be baby. 20$ is 20$" Ha, I know, stupid.
Might as well check Facebook too.
Some girl posted on Austin's wall 2 hours ago.
"tbh yr cool and we should hang out sometime :>"
He liked the post, cringe.
Ay yo hold up. So he can like this random girl's post on his wall but doesn't bother replying to my texts? What a dickhead, man, fuck that guy.
I shouldn't say that, I still have to figure out a way to stop him from being an addict.. or whatever. I don't know how that'll be possible. Maybe I can convince him to spend more time with me and his brothers when we're sparring. He's been dodging our messages lately though. Even today, he just fucked off and went somewhere with those girls.
Emma texted me back.
"That's why I keep a crisp twenty in my wallet at all times, but aren't you expensive? Can't you do me a solid and be free, just this once?"
"Sure, I'll free up time this weekend," I say to her, I don't even know why I'm being flirty.
She sent me another message that said:
"I'll hold you to that."
"Anyway, I'm gonna head to bed, goodnight Emms."
I'd had enough of my phone and made the executive decision to play games. I left my phone to charge and booted up my 360.
After navigating the menus, I turned on black ops and saw that Josh was online, and so was Kelly.
Kelly's Gamertag is "Xxdarknessblade1".
Josh's Gamertag is "Eatcurlyfry82".
I sent them a message on Xbox live and got a response that they were in a match, so I joined a game on my own. It wouldn't be for 3 games that we finally played together, they kept queuing up for games while I was in a game, and I did the same thing. We have poor communication capabilities. We were all in a group chat too using our voices, Kelly was their party leader and hates waiting for others. So if I didn't join their game within 0.001 seconds, he was already looking for a game.
We played until 2 am, it served as a good distraction. Charlie joined us too, and eventually, I felt completely drained after the long day.
At about 12:30, the "in vicinity" signal disappeared. I guess I've got to go to wake up and go to school in... 5 hours.