"I'm sure the Hogwarts rumor mill has been running overtime since the events of last night. I believe, Harry, that since these events directly affect you, you deserve an explanation"
"Thank you, sir. I'd appreciate that"
Dumbledore was right. The theories had abounded. Ever since Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Flitwick has walked into the castle with Sirius Black and another, unidentified wizard in custody, everyone had been practically losing their minds.
"As you know, it has always been believed that Sirius Black, as Secret Keeper, had betrayed your parents to Voldemort. Following that, Peter Pettigrew chased him down. Black killed Pettigrew, along with thirteen muggles. He was sent to Azkaban, and the case was closed"
Dumbledore sighed.
"Yesterday, I received a letter from Sirius. Delivered by a cat, in fact. In the letter, Sirius made some surprising claims"
"What did he say?"
Dumbledore looked more and more forlorn as he spoke. "He claimed that he had not been the secret keeper. He had switched with Pettigrew. After the switch, Pettigrew betrayed them. When he realized what had happened, he chased down Peter. Peter made it look like Sirius blew up the street, and faked his own death. He was an unregistered animagus. He turned into a rat and escaped"
' Useful talent to have'
"Sirius claimed to have captured Peter. He said he would be able to prove his innocence. However, he said I must come alone. He was hiding in the Shrieking Shack, and he claimed to only trust me"
' Idiot'
"I took Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick along. Professor McGonagall is herself an animagus, and while I may be a Transfiguration Master, she knows the animagus transformation better than nearly anyone. And Professor Flitwick is a dueling champion"
"So why was Professor Snape summoned?"
"I wasn't going to leave the castle undefended, was I? Besides, the other teachers needed to meet with the Aurors upon their arrival"
"What happened in the Shrieking Shack, sir?"
"I was meant to be going in alone. So Professor McGonagall assumed her animagus form, and Professor Flitwick disillusioned himself. When we entered, we found Sirius Black sitting at a table. He held a rat. After tying him up, I tested the rat. Imagine my shock, Harry, when I discovered Sirius had been telling the truth. The rat was an animagus. When forced to reveal himself, he was shown to be Peter Pettigrew"
"Do you think he was telling the truth? Black?"
Dumbledore's eyes were far away.
"It could be. The idea of Peter betraying your parents makes far more sense than Sirius. Peter was never as accepted amongst your father's friends. More than that, Peter has been unable to give a satisfactory reason for living as a rat for more than a decade"
Dumbledore sighed, again.
"And I believe Peter has the Dark Mark"
' You know nothing, remember?'
"What's that, sir?"
"Ah, I forget sometimes. The Dark Mark was Voldemort's sign. He burned it into his followers' arms. He could use it to summon them. Of course, they are capable of hiding it, but you can sense it if you know how to look"
' Shit. Good thing I wasn't marked'
"So what happens now, sir?"
"Now? There will be a trial. In a week's time, I believe. You can come if you wish. The outcome will affect you"
"How so?"
Dumbledore frowned slightly. "Harry, Sirius Black is your Godfather. Legally, if he is capable, he is your guardian. You would live with him"
' Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I don't want to. Who the fuck-'
"The first thing he asked after telling his tale was if he could see you"
' I owe him nothing! He should have stayed and taken me in, instead of going after his revenge. Fuck him, I want to live with the Malfoys"
"Of course, he will have to spend some time in Saint Mungo's. No-one comes out of Azkaban unscathed. Definitely not after twelve long years"
' So I'm going to live with someone crazier than I am? Fuck that'
"Sir?" Harry said, tentatively. "Would I have to live with him? I mean, I don't know him, and I've been staying at the Malfoys, they've been like family to me!"
Something crossed Dumbledore's expression right then.
"Harry, I believe it would be best if you lived with your legal guardian. Perhaps you would be able to split your time between Sirius and the Malfoys? Assuming the trial vindicates him, of course"
' Fuck'
"Why can't they just use a truth potion? I read about veritaserum, wouldn't that just clear everything up?"
Dumbledore chuckled. "Of course you've read about it. Veritaserum is not accepted as evidence. There are too many flaws with it"
"Flaws?"
"Yes," Dumbledore smiles at Harry. "Magic doesn't solve everything. Veritaserum can be bested in a number of ways. Mental magic can be used to defeat it, as can half-truths. Not to mention it is possible to build a resistance to it, or even to just take the antidote ahead of time"
Harry simply nodded.
"If you wish to be present at the trial, please let me know ahead of time. Professor Snape will bring you, and I will need to arrange a replacement"
"I want to come," Harry said immediately.
"Very well. In the meanwhile, I would suggest studying for your exams. You wouldn't want to ruin your excellent record, would you?"
"I've already started"
"Of course you have," Dumbledore said quietly.
"Do you feel up to continuing our conversation?"
Harry shrugged.
' Not even a little bit'
"Harry, I can't help you at all unless you are willing to talk"
"It hurts to talk about it" Harry whispered.
"So why did you bring it up?"
"Because it also helps. Afterward, it helps"
"So is it not worth dealing with some pain to improve your overall situation?"
Harry shrugged again, looking down.
"You find it hard to accept that the situation can be bettered, don't you?"
"It's not that"
"So what is it?"
"It's just-I shouldn't still have to be dealing with this! It was years ago!"
"And yet, you still are. Perhaps you simply never dealt with it in the first place"
"Maybe"
The room fell quiet. Snape waited for Harry to speak. As the silence began growing oppressive, Harry did.
"He raped me," he said quietly. "And it hurt. It fucked me up. It made me feel weak. Useless. I couldn't even defend myself. I couldn't even make him stop"
"But you did. Eventually, you did"
"I couldn't control that. It just happened. I was weak, and he made me feel like I deserved it"
"Did you?"
Harry slumped. "I don't know. I was just a kid. But I couldn't stop it, so I must have"
"You did not deserve that. No child deserves to be treated like that. And I highly doubt there exists a single child who could have defended against that"
Harry shrugged again.
"Would anyone be able to do that to you now?"
Harry looked up sharply. "No. I'd kill them"
"So why are you still afraid of it? Why are you still afraid of him?"
"Who said I'm afraid of him?" Harry's voice rose sharply as he spoke.
"He is the shape your boggart takes, is he not?"
"Who told you that?" Harry all but shouted. "I told them not to talk about it! I made sure-"
"Lupin," Snape said quietly.
"How the fuck did he think-"
"He called a meeting with Dumbledore and myself. He was concerned"
"It was none of his business!"
"Perhaps. Nevertheless, he believed it was"
"I don't care what he thought, he-"
"Harry. It is done. Why are you so afraid of this man, still?"
"Because-because he fucked up my childhood!"
"Are you afraid of him, or what he represents?"
"What?"
"Are you afraid of him, the man who sexually abused you, or what he represents?"
"What do you think he represents?"
"He represents you being weak. You being able to be hurt"
"I-I-"
"Many of your actions could be attributed to that. The amount of effort you put into learning combat spells, for example. You don't allow yourself to be vulnerable"
"So what? Why is that a bad thing?"
"It isn't. Unless you let it control you. Unless it drives you, chooses your every move for you"
"And how am I meant to stop that?"
"First, whenever you think of yourself as weak, or think of what was done to you, clear your mind, and-"
"That's all you fucking say! Clear your mind, clear your mind, but-"
"Silence. This is obviously difficult for you, but I will not tolerate insolence"
Taking a deep breath, Snape continued. "Clear your mind, and list the reasons why you are not weak. Why such a thing could not be done to you now"
Harry looked extremely unconvinced.
"What thought gives you the opposite feeling? One of strength, as opposed to weakness?"
"When I think about what I've done to other people"
Snape went absolutely still for a minute, before sighing. "Then focus on that. Think of how you have wielded power over others"
Harry nodded.
"Harry. What was done to you is in the past. You must leave it there. It only matters so much as you allow it to still affect you"
"Thanks" Harry muttered.
Snape just stared at him for a few minutes, before sighing again.
"The day after tomorrow I will be taking you to watch your godfather's trial. Are you prepared for that?"
"Yeah"
Snape watched him warily. "There will be much discussion about your parents, are you-"
"They mean nothing to me. I never knew them. They might as well have been strangers"
Snape watched him for another few minutes. "Very well. Be ready to leave at 7 In the morning. We will floo there"
"Sir?"
"Yes?"
"Dumbledore said how Black is my godfather. If he is declared innocent, will I really have to live with him?"
"Probably, at least for some of the time"
"But I don't know this guy! I'd much rather stay at the Malfoys-"
"But legally, it is his right. If you refuse entirely, and he turns to the law, it will draw undesired attention to the Malfoys. Do you want anyone looking too closely at what is going on in Malfoy Manor at the moment?"
"No," Harry said sullenly.
"Then there is your answer. You simply need to convince Black to allow you to spend time at the Malfoys. You will be fine"
"Easy for you to say" Harry muttered as he walked out.
"Sirius Orion Black. Before we commence with the main purpose of our trial, we would like you to tell us how you managed to escape from Azkaban prison"
Sirius looked up at Madam Bones. He was sitting, chains sneaking up his arms, in a chair in the center of the courtroom. The same courtroom Lockhart had been tried in.
A few feet away from him, Pettigrew sat, also chained to a chair. While Sirius didn't look too nervous, apart from the occasional twitch, Pettigrew seemed downright terrified.
"I'm an unregistered animagus," Black said, in a hoarse, rasping voice. "No one knew, so nothing was put in place to prevent me changing form"
"As simple as that?" Bones said, her pince-nez rising on her face.
"I needed a strong enough reason to push my mind into action. I got that when I saw proof that Pettigrew was alive"
Muttering arose in the courtroom.
"What proof was that?"
"I was given a copy of the Daily Prophet. There was an article about the Weasleys winning the lottery. It had a family picture. I saw the son's pet rat. It was Peter"
"How could you have been so sure?"
Sirius laughed. Peter squirmed.
"We became animagi together. Peter needed our help to manage it. We were still at Hogwarts then. I must have seen him change a hundred times if I saw him do it once. I'd recognize that fucking rat anywhere"
"You will watch your tone"
"Sorry. Twelve years in Azkaban does things to your speech patterns"
The muttering grew louder.
"Order" Bones shouted, banging her little hammer.
"Sirius Orion Black. You will be questioned on the events leading up to the Halloween 1981. You will answer truthfully"
Sirius nodded.
"Tell the court what transpired"
"We received information that Voldemort was going after James and Lily. They went into hiding, under the Fidelius. Dumbledore cast it, and I was Secret Keeper. But they started going after me. I got worried. I thought it would only be a matter of time until they caught me"
Sirius stopped talking. He was breathing very quickly, arms straining against the chains.
"I told James. I suggested we switch secret keepers. Not tell anyone. Let them keep going after me, and if the Death Eaters caught me I wouldn't be able to spill the beans. Eventually, I got James to agree"
Sirius was weeping now. He still managed to talk though, voice changing pitch on every second word.
"He agreed to make Peter the Secret Keeper. Only me, James and Lily, and Peter knew. Peter was gonna go into hiding. I was the only one who knew where he was. I went to check on him a few days later. That was Halloween"
"And?" Madam Bones prompted.
"The fucker wasn't there! I went to James and Lily. And. And. And"
"They had been killed?"
Sirius' howl of rage and pain shocked more than one audience member.
"They were dead! And then Hagrid arrived! I wanted to take Harry, but Dumbledore had sent Hagrid to take the boy to him. So I went after Peter"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Yes, why? Why did you feel it necessary to chase Pettigrew?"
"I-I-I. I WANTED TO KILL HIM! HE BETRAYED US ALL!"
"You went after him with the intent of murdering him?"
"Wouldn't have been murder" Sirius said bitterly. "Would have been balancing the scales"
"Whatever you wish to call it. Your intention was to kill him?"
"Yes. Kill him, bring him in. I don't know. I wasn't thinking clearly. James and Lily were-were-"
He howled again, an animalistic scream.
"Mr. Black. Control yourself"
Through red-rimmed eyes, Sirius looked up at her.
"What happened when you found him?"
"We dueled. It drew a crowd of muggles. His spells kept going wide, and I was trying to shield the muggles. He shouted something, about how I killed James and Lily. He cast some spell. I don't know what, but it blew up the street. I saw him changing form. And I just collapsed among the bodies and the wreckage. I think I was laughing"
"Why were you laughing?"
"Because I was losing my fucking mind! My best friends had been murdered, someone I considered a friend had betrayed us, and I had just been framed"
"No further questions for now. The Wizengamot calls on Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore"
Dumbledore stood up.
"Chief Warlock Dumbledore. Is it true that you placed a Fidelius charm for James and Lily Potter?"
"It is"
"And Sirius Black was the Secret Keeper?"
"Correct"
"Tell us, please, is it possible for the Secret Keeper to name another as Secret Keeper in their stead?"
"It is very possible. Regardless of Mr. Black's tale, we have many historical precedents for this"
"And this would not require the presence of the caster? The caster, would in fact, not need to be aware of this?"
"The caster would not need to be aware of this, correct"
"Thank you, Chief Warlock. That will be all"
Dumbledore day back down. Many of the Wizengamot wore thoughtful expressions.
"The Wizengamot calls on Oscar Cordimon"
A skinny wizard with long hair stood up.
"Obliviator Cordimon, along with the Chief Unspeakable of the cave of memories, you have examined Mr. Black's memories of the events in discussion?"
"We have"
"What is your opinion?"
"The subject's memories do not seem to have been altered. They reflect what he has told the court exactly"
Excited muttering broke out.
"Based on his memories, you would agree with his testimony?"
"Yes"
"Thank you. Please take your seat"
"Peter Pettigrew" Madam Bones called out, silencing everyone. "What is your version of events?"
"I-I. After You-Know-Who killed James and Lily, Sirius attacked me! He's lying, I was never Secret keeper!"
"Why have you spent the last twelve years living as a rat? Why did you fake your death?"
"I-I was afraid!" Peter shook as he spoke.
' Disgusting'
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid of him!" Peter tried to point at Sirius, but couldn't quite raise his hand.
"Mr. Black was in Azkaban. What reason did you have to fear him?"
"He escaped, didn't he!" Pettigrew shouted shrilly.
"How could you have possibly known he would escape? In fact, if you would have announced that he was an animagus, escape would have been impossible for him"
"I-I. He was o-obviously trained by you-know-who, and-"
"You fucking take that back!" Black shouted.
"Mr. Black!"
"You take that back!" Black shouted again, ignoring Madam Bones' calls. "Me, trained by Voldemort?"
Pettigrew squealed.
"Why did you do it, Peter? You were afraid-"
"Mr. Black! Be silent, or-"
"We would have died for you! Every one of us, and-"
"Mr Black! Be-"
"Liar!" Peter shouted. "You all hated me! I was always the butt of your jokes! And when I found someone who treated me with respect, who saw what I could offer him, I-"
Pettigrew squeaked loudly.
Sirius looked at him with a savage triumph.
The courtroom was deathly silent.
"Mr. Pettigrew. Are you admitting to-"
"I did it, ok! But only because he would have killed me otherwise!"
"You should have died! Died, rather-"
A jet of light hit Black. Even though he continued to open and shut his mouth, clearly forming words, no noise came out.
"Mr. Pettigrew. You are claiming that you betrayed the Potters out of fear for your life?"
Pettigrew looked down, utterly defeated. "Yes," he said softly.
"And what of your attack on the muggles? You left thirteen bodies"
"I was acting in self-defense, and-"
"You were capable of acting without murdering them. You clearly were attempting to frame Mr. Black"
"I-"
"You refused to provide us with memories of that time period. Answer honestly. Were you serving You-Know-Who?"
"I was-I was trying to-"
"Tell us the truth, and perhaps we may be lenient"
"Please! I was terrified! He was winning the war, and I just wanted to survive!"
"So you betrayed your friends, framed an innocent man, and aided a known enemy of the Wizarding world. All in favor of declaring Sirius Orion Black innocent of all charges?"
Every single hand was raised.
"Sirius Black. You are the victim of a great miscarriage of justice. You have the apology of the court. You deserve far, far more. You are hereby remanded into the custody of Saint Mungo's. As soon as you are declared fit, you will be returned to Wizarding society"
The chains on his arms retracted. Sirius looked up in total disbelief.
"All in favor of the Dementors kiss for Pettigrew?"
Harry tried to count the hands, there were too many. Definitely more than half.
' Holy shit! That was so quick!'
"Peter Pettigrew. You are an absolute disgrace to the name of wizardry. You are a disgrace to the name of friendship and loyalty. You will suffer the Dementor's kiss. Your body will be remanded to the Department of Mysteries for study. The sentence will be carried out immediately"
Ignoring Pettigrew's cries and protests, an auror walked past him to a door in the back of the courtroom.
A Dementor followed the auror back into the courtroom.
Immediately, the temperature in the room dropped dramatically.
The Dementor began gliding towards Pettigrew.
"PLEASE! YOU PROMISED LENIENCY!"
Madam Bones looked down at him. A puddle was growing at his feet.
"This is more lenient than you deserve," she said quietly.
The Dementor reached him. His struggles and whimpers lessened dramatically.
Long, dead fingers gripped his chin, forcing his face up.
The Dementors lowered its hood.
It was facing away from Harry, so he couldn't see what it was underneath. Pettigrew could, though.
His screams filled the room.
The Dementor lowered its head until it was mere inches away from Pettigrew's.
A harsh, rattling noise was heard.
Pettigrew's hands drummed out a mad tattoo on his chair. A silvery light could be seen rising through his body.
It exited his mouth, and for a second Harry saw it.
Just a blob, a silvery blob.
It vanished.
The Dementor raised its hood and let go of Pettigrew's chin, causing his head to slump forward onto his chest, a trail of drool leaving his mouth.
The Auror herded the Dementor away with his horse patronus.
When the door finally closed behind it, Madam Bones spoke again, sounding distinctly unnerved.
"Court is adjourned. May God have mercy on our souls"
"Wait!" Black shouted.
' When was the silencing spell removed?'
"I was named Harry Potter's Godfather. I want custody of him"
' Oh. Fuck'
Madam Bones looked extremely uncertain. "When you are declared mentally fit by the Saint Mungo's staff, you will be granted custody. Provided no one else currently holds custody, of course"
Black was led away by two Aurors then.
As Snape pulled Harry along with him to the floo grates, Harry was not thinking about the fact that he had just seen a man have his soul eaten. He was thinking more about the fact that it hadn't bothered him in the least.
' Jesus. I really am fucked up, aren't I?'