'Haah. Hey, Guizhong'
'What do you want now?'
'I'm bored'
'Then do something'
'I don't feel like it'
'Then why do you complain?'
'Because I'm bored'
'...'
Yes, the mighty Kenshin is bored now.
After the frenetic rhythm of the last 2 weeks, I suddenly find myself without anything to do.
I decided to do what I couldn't do before, experience Liyue Harbor and enjoy my last weeks of life.
But it got boring very quickly, everyone here was pompous and I didn't know what they were saying. Still, the most repeated expression was 'of course Young Master' or 'Courting death'. Who wants to court someone as old as the planet anyways. I swear these guys are nuts.
And now here I am, in the docks looking at the sea, bored out of my mind.
"Hey kid, I have a question for you".
I turned my head and saw a pretty young woman around 16 with red eyes looking at me with gentle eyes. But she has the eyes the pink woman has when she was plotting something. The great Kenshin will not be fooled, you want to prank me?. Be prepared to be on the receiving end.
"What did you call me?" I asked her calmly.
"Huhh, kid?" she looked a bit confused, well it's normal I guess.
"Kid. Hmmm, that's interesting, it's the first time I've been referred to as such" I said while touching my chin, where my non-existent beard should be.
"..." the woman looked confused, but suddenly realized something and her face paled.
"Yes, yes. As I can see in your face, understanding has dawned into your little brain. I am an adeptus, contemporary and friend to the stubborn guy that built these whole harbour. So now, woman who doesn't look to be older than a mountain, tell me. What do you want from the 'kid' you all should be praying to?" I asked in a gentle voice, while my words had hidden thorns. Well, maybe not so hidden, but you get the idea.
'What are you doing?. She just wanted to ask a question, why are you so mean?'
'Because I'm bored'. It wasn't that difficult to begin with.
"I-I'm sorry, may I know your illustrious name?" she asked while bowing deeply to me. To ME, a 5 year old kid. It's funny.
"I have many names, but you feeble kind once knew me as Heaven Punisher". If I knew something about people here is that they liked anything that had the word 'heaven'.
"I... don't remember any Heaven Punisher in our history" she mused, a bit suspicious but afraid of expressing it.
"Of course not child. I have many names, some of which were given to me by your own kind in reverence. Some centuries I came back only to find that my name had changed over the course of the years. What did you need from this old man?" I asked in a gentle voice.
'If you are an old man, why do you look like a kid?'
'Guizhong, don't be stupid. In such a crowded place full of animals, the victims of robberies and pickpocketing are always old people. Who wants to rob a kid?. You said you liked humans, yet you don't know anything. *Sigh*, to need a kid 400 hundred times younger than you to teach you these basic things.....'
'No, why are you behaving like you are a real adeptus?'
'I'm acting, and all actors need to embody their character. Poor Guizhong, being stupid at her age'.
I turned my attention to the woman, not listening to Guizhong indignant screams.
"N-Nothing, just an innocent question. Then, I will leave. Please enjoy your hard-earned rest" she said while bowing.
I guess that no 5 year old speaks like I do, so the only choice she has is to believe me.
"Ningguang-sama, there you are. Moou, running away again"
'Oh, looks like the jig is up. Let's see how you run away from this' Guizhong mocked me when she heard Ganyu's voice.
'Why would I run away?. It's her fault she got deceived by a kid. She was also plotting something, I know it'
"Oh, my dear Ganyu, how has your master been?. It's been centuries since I saw her" I greeted my dear grass-eater.
The woman called Ningguang saw me greeting Ganyu like I knew her from hundred of years and confirmed I was an adeptus. I guess?.
"Oh Kenshin, what are you doing here?. I thought you were helping that man" she wanted to say adeptus, but she had this stupid notion in her head that nobody knew she was an adeptus herself. But this white-haired woman realized the context, getting even more convinced of my identity.
"Our duty ended yesterday. Haaah, how the time passes. It looks like it was a month ago when I arrived at this lands, and yet, my duty is now complete" I sighed while looking at the sea with an emotional gaze. At this point I'm already getting tired of this, and I was to return to my nothingness state. No fun and no energy to look for it.
"What are you talking about?. You arrived in Liyue 2 weeks ago" the grass-eater was confused at my words. The white haired woman had the decency to look suspicious.
"Of course, I was in faraway lands, battling terrifying opponents. To think I had to look for refuge in the Land of Geo.....my heart hurts" I grabbed my chest while shedding some false tears.
'The fact that you can do it at will it's impressive. You could work as a con artist'
'Guizhong, please, tell me a single merchant who is not conning someone'
'Morax would never do that!'
'Morax doesn't need to. Morax wants Morax gets, unless it to see his dead friends I guess'
I used this time where Guizhong was shocked to look at Ganyu with an appraising gaze.
"Wha-What's wrong?" Ganyu looked nervous.
"Tell me my dear junior, are you willing to do a favour to grandpa?. I'm being chased my a pink monster that will skin me alive, but maybe your calmness and naivety can help this one. Are you willing?" I asked with a serious expression.
"Is someone coming to Liyue that we need to be careful of?" asked the white woman looking alarmed. Even if she is suspecting something, I guess that until confirming who I am everything I say mustn't be taken lightly.
"Yes, white haired kid. A pink monster of 6 tails and 4 ears will come to Liyue in less than a month. I will leave before that so Liyue is not engulfed in the bitter flames of war, but I fear all that awaits me is death". That was not a lie.
'What monster are you taking about?'
'Ah, I guess you don't know what I'm doing in Liyue after all right?. I'll tell you later'.
"Are you talking about Yae?" asked a confused Ganyu.
"Indeed, plant consumer, that's the atrocious name that was given to such a ferocious enemy. She is one of the strongest being in that faraway land, second only in strength, but probably the most cunning one" I nodded, wearing a scared expression.
"Ganyu, do you know who is he talking about?" Ningguang looked at Ganyu, seeing how I was not saying anything important. I learned that here too, people talk and talk, but in the end you are left as ignorant as you were before the conversation. At this point it has evolved into an art.
"Y-yes, probably he's talking about Yae, my friend from Inazuma. She is the Head-Priestess in the Narukami Shrine, their main shrine" Ganyu nodded and explained.
Ningguand looked at me, with a dark face. The jig's up I guess.
"Hey, kid, are you sure you are an adeptus?".
Ganyu looked incredulous at me and started talking, but I raised my hand with authority to make her stop.
"I am Kenshin, with other many names as Heaven Punisher, Galaxy Conqueror, Absolute- you know, I don't care anymore. I'm Kenshin, a 5 year old kid running away from Inazuma in fear of getting punished because I interrupted an important reunion. Nice to meet you" I greeted the woman and explained to Guizhong at the same time.
'There...are so meany wrong things in that sentence'
"There...are so meany wrong things in that sentence"
Oh, they are synchronized.
'Guizhong, any chance...'
'No, I did not have any kids. Stop annoying me'
'So rude'.
"Why did you tell me you where an adeptus" the woman looked angry now.
"I was bored, and you came here to disturb my meditation, and you where plotting something" I answered directly.
"...." she looked a bit ashamed and angry.
"It's your fault for getting deceived. Is this place all right?. I can introduce myself like that without any proof and live like a king here?" these people are messed up.
"That true. It's my fault I was deceived" she is a good woman. Other guy or girl would have started screaming that 'Courting death' thing.
"Kenshin, why did you do that?. Also, why did you prank my master?" the grass-eater looked a bit angry at that.
"Wait, master?" the white haired woman looked at Ganyu, who covered her mouth with both hands. Are you the kid here?.
"You know she rejected me, and I don't blame her taking care of that little psychopath is a necessary duty for humanity to prosper, but I felt a bit pissed that walking for hours went to the trash. So I pranked her".
"What did you do?" the woman might have realized that while I was human, my acquaintances were not.
"Her master is a bird, so I sent her 14 different recipes to cook birds. 1 each day" I nodded.
"That's terribly offensive. Maybe" she said with a hesitant expression.
"She will get over it. She is more than 2000 years old after all".
"Kenshin!" Ganyu screamed in anxiety.
"Vegetable-devourer, the woman here already knows you are an adeptus, or at least half. Her questions were directed to me because she wanted to know more about them" I explained to the slightly dumb woman.
"Indeed" Ningguang nodded and looked at me with an appraising look.
"Anyway, what did you want to ask me?" I reminded the white haired woman of her original intention.
"Did you see a ship with a blue container?" she asked directly. Just as I like it.
"Yes, 15 minutes ago. I saw the same man in Inazuma, and was doing some weird things, doing signals to another. I don't thing their purpose here is that different" I summarized while shrugging my shoulders. "Ah, it's that guy" I pointed at the guy looking around as if checking nobody saw him.
"Excuse me" and the woman left to interrogate the poor guy.
"Kenshin, Yae sent me a letter to let you know that she will be free for a day in 2 weeks. If you are not in Inazuma by then, she will come to get you" she said with a little smile.
"Are you enjoying my suffering?". Nobody mocks the great Kenshin. Except for mom, she is scary.
"Why would I do that?" she asked, but she was obviously amused.
'You are going back?. I've never been in Inazuma!. But I don't want to leave Morax....' the old lady grumbled while feeling conflicted.
'You can't even see him. What are you talking about. I want to leave this place quickly so I don't get discovered by the meteor dude'
'Morax would not do that!'
'....'
'Probably'
"I'm back, the man is going to be interrogated by the Milelith" Ningguang returned and a light went on my head.
'Guizhong, you like humans right?. What about mingling with some for a change?'
'That's a good plan, but why so suddenly?. Weren't you too tired to do anything?'
'The great Kenshin has a marvellous plan that will get rid of my boredom and will let me learn more about my ability with humans. Old lady, watch and learn'.
"White haired woman, I answered your question and helped you quite a lot based on how fast you caught that guy. This is the Land of Commerce, so it's only obvious that you answer mine right?" I asked while throwing a mocking look towards Ganyu, who looked uneasy.
"Yes, what do you want to ask?"
"You are the grass-muncher's superior right?". Based on how Ganyu was showing a deferential attitude towards her and called her '-sama'.
"Yes, I am. I have been the most important person of Liyue for a month now" she said with obvious pride.
"That...isn't as amazing as you think it is. Remember there is a guy around that can flatten the whole city in seconds. Anyway, I have a special ability you see. The same ability that kept me occupied around Liyue sealing some nasty things, and the one that led me to a stupidly tall mountain in search for the narcissistic giant bird. Why don't you hire me?. I can sense some things in humans, and it will only get better the more I learn about it".
"Hmmm, I don't see what can I get from your help. It's not easy to judge the worth of a person with something so vague" she replied, indirectly refusing my offer.
"I also can identify any kind of cursed object and even seal it. I'm the best curse sealer in the whole Liyue and Inazuma, and probably in the world. Our horned friend can attest to that. I have been working for adepti for the last 2 weeks" this should be enough to convince her. A human kid who even the adepti recognize?. She can't be a merchant if she can't see my value.
"But I don't work with cursed things, why should I hire you?" she looked hesitant, but I recognize the glint in her eyes. She wants to accept the offer, but she is bargaining.
"Really, are you bargaining with a kid?. I was going to ask for a place to stay and food to live, but you had to mock me. Very well, I will go find your rival and offer my services to him. I will also contact the press here and tell them how the esteemed Ningguang who had been leading Liyue for a month got deceived by a kid. Let's see if you want to bargain after that". The mighty Kenshin does not bargain. He doesn't ask for much, but his demands are clear. No bargain.
"Kid, you are truly vicious" was all the woman could say.
"Kenshin, be respectful!" Ganyu looked alarmed. "She can imprison you for disrespect to the authority"
Ningguang and I stared at her, making her look confused.
"Are you telling me that a grown woman will lock a kid in prison for a prank?" I asked with raised eyebrows.
"....." Ganyu looked so ashamed that I decided to left her off the hook.
"Besides, nothing in this whole country can do anything to me. I could slap her and all she could do is say thank you". I firmly believe this.
"Why do you say that'" Ningguang asked me with a dark face.
"I told you I had been working for adepti for half a month. I'm not stupid enough to work for free, I got a promise to protect me if anything happened" I smugly said. "All the more reason to be pissed when an upstart merchant tries to bargain with me" I added looking at Ningguang.
Yes, that's right. The mighty adepti of this place are paying me, and you want to bargain?.
"Is that true?" she doesn't believe me, she is asking the one who can contact with adepti.
"Y-yes, from what my master told me, he did. And his ability is also true, he had helped solve a problem that had been around for nearly 2000 years" Ningguang had her eyes wide open at that, and looked at me in shock.
"Yes lady, I'm that awesome. So hurry up and pay, you won't regret it" I nodded.
"But that doesn't give you the right to start causing trouble!" I was scolded by the horned woman.
"And who is going to scold me if I call the Boss" I mocked them. They don't know who are they talking with.
"This 'Boss' of yours can't make Liyue Harbor stop working because of your whims!" Ganyu scolded me again. This woman.....
"Yes, he does?" I petulantly said.
"No, he doesn't!" she denied in the same tone.
"Ganyu, are you sure I'm the kid here?" I asked her using her name almost for the first time.
"S-Still, this is Liyue Harbor. Nobody has the authority to bypass the law and rules" she continued, but her face was blushing.
"Do you want to bet on that?" the deeper she goes, the dumber she will feel.
"Hey Ganyu, maybe-" Ningguang started.
"As you wish!!" Ganyu agreed with a heated face.
'Don't use Morax' name to do that!. He is a respectable man, he wouldn't support you in whatever nefarious plan you are plotting!'
'Guizhong, of course he wouldn't'
'Hmm, of course' it gave me the impression that she was nodding while saying this.
'But they don't know it' clearly Ganyu and Ningguang admired Rex Lapis so much that it clouded their reasoning.
'...'
"I will call for him now. If you lose, you will hire me, grass-eater. The woman here is obviously not interested, so you will hire me from your own money" I put forwards my conditions.
"If I win, you will leave for Inazuma right now!" she screamed with a smile, clearly convinced that she would win. Nobody can break the trust of Liyue citizens in their government, product of the most brilliant minds of this land working together.
"We need a Contract. I don't trust you" I need to have this written. Only to have something to mock her for the rest of her long life.
Or maybe my short one, I'm sure she will outlive my great-grandsons.
"Okay, I know someone. Wait here" and she run, going to look for the person who will sign her social death. Hiring a 5 year old looks quite bad.
I looked at the white haired woman, who had a regretful expression in her face.
"Yes, woman, learn about it. You tried to haggle something that was even that much. You had something to win that you didn't understand, and that caused you to lose it. You should have tried to get more information out of me, and later decide" I instructed the woman. Hehe, I will show this off to the pink woman. I'm scolding the practical ruler of Liyue. Of course, I know Ningguang knows this, I'm just trying to annoy her. Because while I'm not bored, this is not being funny enough.
"..." she looked at me dryly.
"I'm back. She is Yanfei, the best lawyer of Liyue" she proudly introduced the woman beside her that also had 2 antler horns.
"Hellooo, I'm Yanfei. As Ganyu said, I'm the best lawyer of Liyue. She told me that you need me for a Contract" she introduced herself with a smile.
"Do you also thing that nobody sees your horns like that grass-eater, or you have some common sense?" I had to ask. She was a half-adeptus like Ganyu based on her soul, and I need to know if all half-adeptus have an identity crisis.
"No, I'm a half-adeptus" she looked a bit confused. "How could anyone not see my horns?".
I looked at Ganyu with a mocking smile, and she hurriedly stated the terms of our Contract. Yanfei started asking questions about everything that could affect the Contract. After half an hour I couldn't keep up.
"Hey antler woman, stop it. I only want to have a material proof of this foolish woman's loss. It's only about hiring me for 2 weeks, at this rate I will die in Inazuma before signing this".
"Okay here, sign it" she said with a smile. I don't know if she introduced some weird clause, but I don't care any more.
"So what now?" asked Yanfei, looking excited.
"Why are you still here?". Doesn't a lawyer have anything better to do in this particular kind of city?.
"Of course I'm watching. I'm a lawyer, so I want to know what can make you so sure that you can disregard everything I've dedicated my life for" she said with a smile, but her eyes were looking at me as if I offended her deeply.
"Another foolish woman. No matter how many of you are here, Kenshin has metaphorical for you all" I said with a sigh.
"BOSS, I NEED OF YOUR POWER. YOU NEED TO CARRY OUT THE CONTRACT WE SIGNED, SO COME OVER HERE AND TELL THIS STUPID WOMEN HOW GREAT I AM" is what I shouted, without a hint of shame, even when people around where looking at us in surprise. But they dismissed it as a kid being a stupid kid.
"Are you mocking us?" Yanfei said with a dark face. She was going to add something, but a green blur materialized in front of me.
"What do you need" the adeptus in front of me asked.
"C-Conqueror of Demons" Yanfei had a shocked look, and Ganyu looked a bit hopeful, maybe thinking that Xiao was not able to grant me freedom here in Liyue. Ningguang looked stunned as one of the most mythical beings in Liyue history was called right in front of her by a kid.
"Her spear boy, these women are saying that they can't hire me because I'm worthless. I hoped for the Boss to vouch for me" I pleaded with a desperate expression.
'You are an asshole' is what the 4 women were probably thinking, including Guizhong.
Spear boy and the Boss were used to my antics, so they wouldn't be so angry about a false alarm.
"Rex Lapis is busy now. If that's all I will leave" and he disappeared, leaving a 3 stunned women and an angry one.
'How dare you use Morax' name for your stupid pranks!'
'Chill grandma, or you will lose you hair'
"Wha-what, did he say Rex Lapis?" asked Ningguang.
"Indeed, now it's time for me to use my bragging rights. You" I said pointing at Ningguang. "You could have hired a guy that even the God of Contracts valued enough to establish a proper Contract with, for less than what buying your dress costs"
"You" I said pointing at Yanfei. "Your answer is power. Rex Lapis is powerful, so he can ignore the rules. Try to accuse someone that can raze Liyue in seconds, let see how that goes". Yanfei looked like her life was in vain.
"And you, vegetable-enjoyer, tell me. Are you frustrated now?" I asked her while approaching her and smacking her on the face with the Contract we had just signed. She didn't move, looking dismayed at having lost against a kid.
"So let it be known!. Today is the day the great Kenshin won!. Against the most important woman of this harbour for a month, her paper-pusher, probably, and the best lawyer in town. Let it be known!".
"""Let it be known!!"""
Huh, when did all these people gather around?.