And we carried out the plan.
Now I have a bag full of herbs, also called weeds. I hope this grass-eater is not picky with food.
We went to Ritou looking for a ship, but I realized a flaw in my plan.
"Ayato, abort the plan".
"Why?" he asked a bit worried. He knew that this was the best chance to heal his mother.
"I have no money. Do you want me to starve when I get there?. You are so cruel, sacrificing me for a chance for your mother, who we don't know how ill she is".
"I took my savings. I have been saving for a year, so while it's not much, it should let you live for a few days there. What do you mean my moth-".
"Give me that Mora!. Oh, shiny Mora. The only thing we can trust in this world". I had 0 contact with Mora in my short life, so now having a heavy bag of Mora made me dream of uncountable possibilities.
"Aren't you a little exaggerated? My mom told me money doesn't make you happy" Ayato said with a chastising look.
"But you need it right?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.
"W-well, I guess" he nodded awkwardly.
"Then tell to the poor guy whose wife left him for a rich man that money doesn't give you happiness. His ex-wife must be happy now with her new husband's money at least".
"How do you learn those things?".
"Dude, I live in a place where 90% of the people come just to vent. Is there anything you can't learn?".
"O-Oh, sorry about that I suppose" he said while rubbing his neck.
"So now with my acolyte's help the plan goes forward. Now you leave and give the pink woman this letter" I handed a beautiful written letter to him. Living in a shrine where you need to write a lot of things with beautiful handwriting has its perks.
"Okay, something else?" he asked while saving the letter in his pocket.
"Yes, now you leave. This will only work if I'm the only one here because I'm the one with the 'mission'. If another kid, a nervous one at that, they will realize our ruse".
"O-oh, okay. Good luck" he nodded and ran out, heading for the shrine.
"You dumbass!. Don't run, I need some time!" this acolyte of mine is too stupid. "Whatever, I need to focus on my 'mission'".
I walked around with a straight back, high chin, and clear eyes, whatever that meant. I just walked around like the pompous guys that came to the shrine did. I quickly spotted a ship that was going to set sail.
"Excuse me" I had to use the same condescending tone of voice those people used.
"Huh, what do you want kid? Are you from the shrine?" he said looking at my attire. Good, he is stupid, I will use all my charm and persuasion powers to convince him.
"Yes, I'm here on behalf of the pink-, ehem, Guuji-sama. I need to go to Liyue for some ritual supplies needed for the festival next month. I was also told that once in Liyue I would be helped by a friend of our Head Priestess, named Ganyu to whom I will need to deliver some supplies, stored currently in my backpack. Would you be amenable to taking me to Liyue? I'm sorry about the money, but the pin-, ehem, Guuji-sama thought it was too dangerous to have me carry that amount of money" I said everything I should to make my case believable while avoiding some topics. Why a kid and not another Miko? Why does only 1 person have to carry all the supplies needed?
"Yeah, sure, hop on and we will depart" he said with a sunny smile.
Even if it's incredibly convenient to me, I can't help but think that Inazuma is safe only because of luck. And probably our overpowered god too. But still, isn't he a bit too stupid?
"Then on behalf of the Great Narukami Shrine, I thank you". And with grace befitting one of such noble origins as mine, I boarded the ship.
And we departed. Isn't this going a little too well?
"Hey kid, I need to ask you something. How did you know that I was not going to kidnap you?".
Ah, a valid question, but one I had thought about.
"As the only male living on the shrine, I have some unique abilities. One of them lets me discern if a person has crooked intentions or not. That's why I approached you. For example, the slim guy reading next to your boat had no good intentions. He was looking at another woman a few meters ahead and was turning the pages of the book in an unusual pattern, probably sending a coded message".
That was true. I could see that some souls were darker and others were bright. The guy with the book was the darkest soul I had seen until now, and I'm not stupid, so boarding a ship with a suspicious person doesn't sound like a good idea.
"No way!. Are you sure?. Oh John, how could you?".
And this guy believes me without any kind of proof. I swear people in Inazuma believe too much in their shrine and god, to the point their intelligence is regressing from not using it.
"Well, it's not my problem, I will report him when I get back" and he had a sunny smile again. I guess John wasn't that close to him.
"But I know what you are thinking. Why didn't I check your identity? Anyone could have bought a hakama and wear it. Hehe, I'm not stupid" he said with a smug smile.
Sorry, but you are. Not only did you let a child board a ship without any kind of permission from his parents, but you even have the gall to ask that kind of dumb question. The hakama from the shrine is special, made from special materials that will act as a defense against curses as a last resort. The fact that you can't even realize how unique my outfit is tells me that you are, in fact, an idiot.
"Hoh, I'm surprised. How did you know I was from the shrine then?". Even if he is an idiot he is the one who will take me to a place where that hateful pink woman can't catch me. With the festival next month, the whole shrine will be too busy to send someone to get me. And even if they send somebody, I can run away. The only one I fear is the pink woman.
"Haha, yes I know. Even when my mother lamented how many times I fell from the cradle head first I knew I wasn't stupid. I knew because you are famous!" he said while laughing.
"I...am?" I had no clue about that. The only people I talk to are my parents, the people at the shrine, Aunt Kayo and Ayato. Damn, my life sounds sad.
"And what do they say about me?. The most talented exorcist?. The most handsome guy around?. The funniest person in Inazuma?". I was going to say the most handsome guy in the shrine, but that's not difficult.
"Are you all that?".
"Yes, of course, but what am I famous for?".
"Of course, you are the Slapping Baby" and he had the gall to laugh.
"The Slapping...Baby...".
"Yes, you are really famous. There was a time around 5 years ago when everybody was talking about you. You slapped everyone that got near you" he laughed even more, not seeing how dark my expression was.
"Just for that?. I hardly think I'm the only baby that accidentally hit someone's face". Surely, I must be famous because of something different right?
"Oh no, you didn't accidentally hit anyone". See, there is something else. "You slapped people on purpose. When you saw someone approaching, you even raised your hand to deliver the optimal slap. And that's only half of the title".
"What else is there?. I hardly think the Slapping Baby title has something else" I said with a dark expression.
"It's because of your courage" he nodded sagely.
"Oh, that's good" I also nodded. Finally, my courage and bravery were being recognized by the ignorant masses.
"Yes, it didn't matter who or how you didn't discriminate. You slapped everyone". And I froze again.
You even slapped Guuji-sama. And from what I heard, you relieved yourself in front of her, drenching her kimono in your piss".
"I did...what?"
"Yes you did. And your house was an attraction for months. Every day a lot of people would go there to see how you slapped your father for the whole afternoon. Haaah, those were fun times. Until you started living in the shrine of course".
I am speechless. How....how could this happen?
How could I forget everything? If only I remembered it... I could have blackmailed the pink woman into not cleaning.
What a disgrace.
"We are approaching Liyue Harbour. Pay attention, the first look of Liyue is something magical.
Indeed it was. It was late afternoon, so there were a lot of lights shining like stars, and the humongous structure was something I hadn't seen in Inazuma before. It was beautiful.
"Here is where we part. Good luck Slapping Baby, let the people from Liyue know of your legend".
"I will try" I said and left the stupid but kind man. I only hope I don't need to piss on an Adeptus here to make my legend expand to the mainland.
Now I guess I should look for that grass-muncher. But I don't know what she looks like, so I will just wander around while looking for someone with a strong soul. If that doesn't give me results, I will use Ayato's money to stay in a hotel and resume my search tomorrow.
So I looked around, marveling at the wondrous scenery here.
Ah, there is someone weird over there. It was an old woman, selling some...toys?.
"Hello child, what are you looking for? You look like someone lost and looking for a light to guide your way" she smiled at me.
I see Liyue is full of idiots too. You see a child, alone, with clothes that are obviously from Inazuma, and looking around. Of course, he is searching for something.
"Yes, kind lady, thank you for your concern I'm on a 'mission' from Inazuma, maybe you could tell me where can I find an Adeptus by the name of Ganyu" I asked with my 'noble' tone.
"Hohoho, it's the first time in a while since I've been called a lady" she laughed softly.
"Well, that's because you want to. Your soul is too young for you to have so many wrinkles. Are all Adeptus that weird here?". Dammit, I blurted what I was thinking.
Her smile froze, but I don't know what part of my sentence caused that.
"Ehem-. It's these people's fault that they can't appreciate how beautiful your kind soul is. And if they don't call you lady is because they don't realize that age is not a number, is a state of mind. You can find young people who are old because they are not motivated to improve themselves. And you can find aged people, that are young because in their hearts there is still the flame of ambition burning brightly". Perfect.
"Ho ho, it's good to hear someone so young with such mentality. But how did you know I'm an Adeptus?" she said with her previous smile, but I could see it was twitching. Even my bandage-like sentence didn't make her forget my earlier words.
"Because of your bright soul. There are no humans with such a shiny soul" I answered honestly. I need her help after all.
"...." she fell silent, maybe thinking how much my ability could do. Tough luck lady, the great Kenshin doesn't give away his secrets.
"Haah, it's not my job anymore to worry about this. I will take you to Ganyu" she sighed and left, gesturing me to follow her.
Huh, so that means that there IS someone in charge of that. I need to be cautious.
We stopped at a restaurant with a huge terrace, and there was a blue-haired woman napping on a desk while drooling. Her horns told me that this woman was my grass-muncher.