"Ganyu, there is someone looking for you" the old woman, yes, no matter what I said she is old, gently shook the sleeping one.
"Huh-huh. I haven't finished my work yet!" she woke up with a jump and frenetic eyes looking for some job to do.
I could only think one thing; I didn't want to be like her. Sleeping in public and dreaming about her job, only to wake up to continue working. That is the very definition of insanity.
"Ganyu, this young man is looking for you" the gentle old woman repeated. But I won't stay quiet.
"No, I'm not a young man. I'm a child, please don't mistake that" I petulantly said.
"And why is it so important?" her smile started twitching again.
"It's obvious. If I were a man, I would have to work. And if I make a mistake I will be held accountable for it, but if I'm a kid I will be pardoned to a certain degree. And knowing that I'm on the run from the pink woman, punished for my mistakes as a man should is literally the worst thing that could happen to me".
Why hide that I'm running?. This workaholic horned woman will write to the pink woman anyway, be it saying thanks for the weed- ehem, herbs and fruits in my backpack or to confirm the supplies so she is bound to know. Also in the letter I left for the pink woman I said that I would look for her. I'm not an asshole who will leave the pink woman worried about me. I will write another one this night telling her that I am safe and with the grass-eater so she can be reassured.
In the same letter, I will say that I will not read anything she writes. If I read that she wants me back, I will be punished for disobedience on top of escaping. If I don't read that, I will only be punished for escaping. If I don't get the orders I can't disobey them. My own brain scares me.
"You....are running away?" the old lady looked stunned and the workaholic was fully awake now.
"Yes I am" I said proudly.
"Why...How..." I guess old age was affecting the woman if she forgot how to talk.
"I messed up big time and I was going to be punished, so I decided to avert my eyes from reality and run away, making my future punishment a lot worse by doing so. But that will be a problem for the future me". I was aware that I would not be able to sit for a while. My mom is going to skin me alive and I don't want to think about what the pink woman will do.
"But..why are you looking for me?" asked the blue-haired woman this time. This one is also stupid, so I will explain it gently.
"I'm wearing the hakama from the shrine, and there is only one shrine in Inazuma. I knew your name, and that means I knew about you. So someone living in the shrine in Inazuma knows about you. And looking at the now open backpack on the table filled with 'herbs and fruits' should tell you that I'm aware of your picky eating nature. At this point I think it should be clear that I know you from your foxy ancient friend"
"Huh, you know Yae?" she asked while blushing.
"Who is Yae?" I have no idea who is that. There is no way that mean pink woman has such a cute name.
"But you just told me that you knew my 'foxy friend'!" she complained. "The only person I know from Inazuma enough to tell her about my likings is Yae".
"You mean that the Head Priestess of the Great Narukami Shrine is called Yae?". Looks like indeed, that mean pink woman had a cute name.
"You didn't know?" she asked with narrowed eyes. So she is suspecting me huh?
"I didn't. I usually call her pink woman" I dismissed her suspicion. At this point, the only thing I need from her is an introduction to a job where I can use my talents.
"Pink...You don't mind if I send her a letter asking for confirmation right?" she said to me with a frown.
"Whatever, just send my letter with yours okay?. I have to write her to tell her that I'm safe and good". That way I don't need to spend money.
"Oh, okay. What's your name?" she asked curiously.
"That depends on your intentions. If you want to ask how can you call me, it's Kenshin. If you want to ask Yae if she knows me, you should probably ask about the 'Slapping Baby'". I don't think it's a bad nickname now. In fact I like it.
"The Slapping Baby... Okay, I will do that". she nodded energetically.
"Oh, now that you are here. You too old lady I came here for another reason. I need to find an Adeptus versed in medicine, do you know someone?" I asked the 2 of them.
"Hoho, so you didn't come here escaping, but to help someone right?"
"Sorry but no. I wanted to escape, and healing that someone was my excuse to reduce my sentence. I appreciate you trying to look at the good side of people, but I'm a truly egoistical person". I think it's harsh on my part to show this ancient woman the truth of the world, but I fear she would get taken advantage of for trusting the wrong people.
"I see. Unfortunately, I don't know anybody who knows medicine, but you could try the Bubu Pharmacy. Good night". And she left. I only looked at Ganyu.
"W-Why are you looking at me? I don't know any Adeptus" she said nervously.
"Are you mocking me?" I asked with a dark face.
"N-No. W-why?" she stuttered.
"The old lady just now was an Adeptus, and she guided me to you. How can you not know her?". I hate being mocked.
"Ah, th-that was" she started nervously.
Maybe she didn't try to mock me and she simply is stupid. I need to find other words soon, or stupid will be my most repeated word.
"And lady, you have horns. I don't know any human with horns. So unless you are some unidentified organism or a youkai, thing I doubt, you are an Adeptus".
"No, these are some head ornaments" she said while grabbing them, as if she was trying to hide them.
This woman is not only an idiot, she thinks she lives in a world filled with them.
"Okay, they are not horns" I admitted and she relaxed hearing that. "How do you explain your figure then?. From what I know you eat grass, and seeing how overworked you were that you ever dreamt of work, with only grass you wouldn't be able to maintain your form".
She would be offended if someone else said this, but as I was a kid she would take what I said as it is, merely an objective fact. Now I have to wait for her answer.
"Tha-that's because I work in an office..."
"What does it matter? Working in an office is also tiring and you need food. But no matter, that doesn't make you an Adeptus. For all I know you could be gorging in cows at night".
She looked a bit offended, but she nodded, relieved that she was not considered an Adeptus.
"But what about your soul? It's way different than a normal human's but not as different as that old woman. If I had to describe it, hers is like a plain, and yours is like a garden, while a normal human's is a sphere. It's not that one is stronger than the other, just that their shape is different. You are in between them, so you are probably a half-adeptus right?"
While I need more time to get used to my ability, it's quite easy to see such a big difference.
"....Yes..." she finally realized that she couldn't escape and admitted defeat in front of the great Kenshin. "How did you know?".
"That's why I was under that petty pink woman, and my secret to make some good money here" I was not going to tell her that. Even if she is a friend of the pink woman and looks inoffensive, I don't trust her that much.
"I understand. Please don't tell anybody about my secret" she pleaded to a five-year-old child. She probably has a hundred times my age, and she is begging me to keep her secret. What a sad existence.
"Okay, okay I won't tell anyone. To be honest I don't care about you or your secret, I only need an introduction to someplace that could hire me. I am good at detecting curses and probably ghosts too".
She looked a bit hurt by my wording, but I didn't care. I'm getting sleepy and hungry and I need to find a place to fall dead.
"Yes, you should probably try the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Where will you be staying for the night? You could sleep at my place" she offered.
"Thank you for your offer, but I don't trust you. I have money for a few days so I will ask around for a professional hotel. Thank you for the offer and the advice. Now, as you offered before, send this letter alongside yours please. Ah, and enjoy whatever I brought, but I would recommend you to learn what is exactly what I brought, because I have no idea". As a kind soul I warned her and gave her the letter I wrote just now.
I started going away, but I looked back to the kind woman who only tried to help me and saw her teary expression, so I decided to walk back.
"I'm sorry if I said something rude. Where I live everybody knows that's how I speak so they don't take offense to it, but I guess you couldn't know" I said while head-patting her while avoiding her horns.
She looked surprised at me.
"Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm mean, but not the malicious kind. Why don't I tell you something to help you as my apology?".
She nodded curiously.
"I have a last method to know if you are an Adeptus, but it's not really needed now. But if you are able to solve this problem, nobody will know you are an Adeptus until you smash a building with your bare hands or something like that I suppose"
"Tell me please" she nodded excitedly. I guess she really wants to hide her Adeptus lineage, even if I find it stupid.
"Okay. You don't look to be older than 30, but you have probably lived here for a lot longer. What do you think your older coworkers think when they grow from 20 to 80 years and you have not changed?"
"Ah, that's not a problem. I always talk with them and they agree to keep the secret. Looks like you are a kid after all" she tried getting back at me with a mischievous smirk.
Grass-eater, I've grown challenging the fearsome pink woman, you have no power here.
"Then miss smart-pants, what about the owner of this restaurant? I saw in the front that this has been here for more than a hundred years, don't you think they know your face if you come here a lot of times over the decades?. What about the place where you buy groceries?. There are kids walking around that will remember you, and when they have grandkids you will be the same. Do I need to keep going?". And now I left, not looking back.
Everyone has their problems, and this grass-eater is making a huge problem where there shouldn't be one.
Now, I am going to eat and sleep. Maybe in that order. Maybe.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next day, in Inazuma.
I am trembling in fury, almost tearing the 3 letters on her desk.
'This brat now has done it. After messing up with the Shogun now he ran away from the country. I need to think a good way to punish him, a way that will leave him swimming in despair and regret.
I read again the first letter that a miko brought to me yesterday.
"Not dear pink woman. I write to tell you that under the prospective severe scolding I will probably be subjected to, I decided to run away, aware of the additional punishment I will have to bear. I'm going to Liyue to find your friend Ganyu, the grass-eater.
Don't worry, I know she is your friend and I will not be rude. I picked a lot of herbs this afternoon to get in her good graces, but I don't know what I picked. For all I know it could cause an international problem because I tried to poison an Adeptus, but I trust the omnipotence of our dear god. That's all for me. I will write you again later when I'm in Liyue reunited with your friend."
*Sigh*, even if this is a disaster, he still knows how to not make me worry that much. This letter wasn't bad until here. But then came the PS.
"I wanted to write this here to ask you a question.
Are you mad? Haha, I won at last. I escaped the country without anyone knowing, and you know what the best part is?
You can't do anything!. Hahaha, if you send someone to catch me I will run. You are the only one I fear after all, and you can't come because of the festival. So now you have to wait until I decide to come, or wait until the festival ends, but I will be home before that. Do you know what that means?
That I will do what I want and you can't stop it. I will even write you a letter every day telling you how much fun I'm having.
And believe me, I will rub it in your face for the rest of my life, as brief as it may be.
Now, goodbye, the great Kenshin's adventure is about to start.
PS; If by some chance I have not been able to hop onto a ship, and you are reading this letter aloud in front of my sitting future self, please have the mercy I won't have if I succeed".
He even had the time to mock me, but it was true. I am tied to this place right now.
The little shit even had the time to tell me his plan. When he comes back I will make sure she doesn't have any kind of fun 1 year for every letter mocking me he sends.
I looked at the other 2, feeling relief knowing that one was from Ganyu, which meant that he arrived safely, but the other one is from that hell-spawn. I dread reading it.
Let's start by the one from Ganyu.
"Hello Yae, I hope everything is going well in Inazuma. I know you must be very busy right now, but believe me, as our Lantern Rite is approaching I am too.
By the way, thank you for the Sea Ganoderma you sent last time, it was delicious!
The main thing I wanted to talk about was a little kid. He said that his name was Kenshin, but he also told me he was called the 'Slapping Baby'"
Oh no. How did he know that? I made sure nobody told him about that. The last thing we need is for him to re-enact his unconscious act in Liyue.
"He was quite rude, but he apologized later. He told me that over there nobody was offended by his words. Thinking it calmly later, I realized that he only said the truth with brutal honesty. I don't think he is a bad boy, but I don't know what should I do.
He asked me to find him a job related to spirits and ghosts, I mentioned a safe place for him and I know the owner of that business so you don't have to worry about his safety or his livehood.
He also mentioned to me that he was looking for a healer for a person. What should I do?. Should I tell him to get back or keep an eye on him?
I await your reply. Yours sincerely, your friend Ganyu"
Haah, she is such a pure soul. I honestly don't know how far has this boy been planning, he is even looking for a job. What the hell did he leave for?
But still, a healer huh....There is only one person he speaks to who is not his family or the shrine staff.
That boy from the Kamisato Clan, I don't remember his name, but it should be related to him...I will pay him a visit later.
I don't think Ganyu can make the boy listen to her, and that would only end up with her crying from the barbs on Kenshin's tongue. I will make a decision after reading that troublemaker's letter.
"Hey pink woman, I succeeded. I'm in Liyue with that grass-eater. I don't know if she is stupid or naive, but I think she is a genuinely nice person. But if she is reading this letter, then she is not, and I will invite her to eat at a BBQ place every single day. I hope you can tell my parents that I'm training or something like that.
Now that the serious business is done, I need to tell you that I will be looking for a job here. And hopefully learn some things, as the only thing I learned over there is how many stupid and paranoid people are in the world.
But I'm going to talk about some serious things, things from the past. I heard that I am famous in Inazuma, as the 'Slapping Baby' no less. I admit I was pissed when I learn it, but I came to like it. A stupid but kind bird told me that I huh, emptied my bladder on you when I was a baby, and even slapped you. I wanted to apologize for that"
Looks like he is apologizing after learning his mistakes. That's good, a bit unexpected, but good.
"And while I feel sorry, I hope you understand that I will not let it be forgotten. I finally have some mocking material against you. Yes, I know, that also makes me look bad.
But you need to understand, Guuji-sama, that mutual destruction is something I am very satisfied with."
This damn kid!.
"And so, be prepared for it to be written in the books I will be passing to my children in the future.
Ah, just thinking about it makes me feel emotional. My great-great-great grandsons, reading in an old and dusty book how their ancestor dared to piss on the Head Priestess. And knowing what you are, you will probably be around by that time.
Hahahaha, I am laughing even now. And I will write a lot of copies of it, so be assured, your sacrifice will not be forgotten".
I hear thunder outside, and the panicked screams of the staff, surprised by the sudden thunderstorm. Do I really need to negotiate with a kid a hundred times younger than me?. How humiliating.
"Any way, I'm good, looking for a job and also looking towards the Lantern Rite here. It seems to be a pretty big deal.
Also, I know you probably are going to visit the Kamisato Clan. While I don't deny that I ran away because of my own wants, it's true that aunt Kayo is ill. I don't know why, but a part of her soul is darkening. I don't have enough experience to know what that means, but maybe I can learn something here. I know it's not because of a curse or anything soul-related. Maybe her own body is dying? I will try to find some Adeptus help over here.
With that I bid goodbye, let your day be ruined and your anger infinite, for I will not be there to suffer it hahaha.
PS; I think that 'Slapping Kid' has a nice ring to it, don't you agree?
PPS; I can't believe your name is Yae. Why does a petty and mean woman have such a cute name? Anyway, you are still stuck with pink woman, so be grateful.
PPPS; You can write, but I will tear your letters as soon as they come. It's not that I don't care about what you say, but hearing your instructions to come back will only add another charge to my already big sentence.
PPPPS; I will write to you daily, so wait for my next letter tomorrow, if I'm in a good mood I will even write to you twice a day hahahaha.