Princess Aurelia.
First and foremost, the sixth child of King Casimir.
Secondly, an older sister.
And although she is older than me, it's only a 4-month difference, as we're both 17.
Her hatred for me runs deep.
Or at least it should.
I didn't know what to think of her anymore.
Her choice to save me contradicted what I considered the truth.
August accepted my proposal to speak to Princess Aurelia.
I was nervous.
Facing any of my siblings made me that way.
Princess Aurelia was no exception.
My throat began to clog, as Mistral's attempt at killing me stayed fresh in my mind.
My steps were heavy.
Each one moved slower than the next as I neared the library door.
All this time, I viewed Princess Aurelia's hatred as her way of shunning me.
However, the man inhabiting August Vale viewed it differently.
'Aurelia holds worth in effort, not talent.'
To me, his perspective didn't matter.
His understanding of Princess Aurelia was much different than my own.
He viewed her as a character.
Not as a person.
So his knowledge of her behavior and attitude toward me is unknown.
It was something he had never seen before.
Something he had never read.
In the third loop, when he told me our new plan was to earn Aurelia's trust.
I refused.
Knowing full well, his objective was to have Aurelia use her blessing.
I didn't want to be a part of it.
Seeing her face from a glance was already hard enough.
It made me resentful of the past.
Resentful of who I thought I could try to be.
I knew Aurelia felt the same way.
She hated my presence.
But August couldn't understand why.
And I don't know if he ever will.
It's not something an outsider like him should feel obligated to intervene in.
That's why...
"Princess Aurelia... I want to talk."
...This time, I needed to earn her trust myself.
As the setting sun gleamed on my face, I looked at the young woman seated across from me.
My eyes had witnessed her beauty many times over.
Just looking at her made me feel inadequate.
How we were related, I have no idea.
Her blazing red hair and innocent sky-blue eyes traced their way up to me.
"What do you want?"
The hatred stemming from her words made me inadvertently gulp.
But I didn't back away or retreat.
"I..."
Bundling my courage, I finally looked her in the eyes.
"...Want to thank you."
Her eyes widened for a moment.
But her brief surprise shortly ceased as Princess Aurelia returned to her book.
"There is no need. If that's all you have to say, then leave, you're disturbing me."
It was an obvious response.
The truth that settled in my mind already came to that conclusion.
But I didn't come before her to end this with my own judgment.
"Aurelia."
I wanted to hear it.
More than just my perspective, I wanted to hear hers.
"I have one more thing to say."
Her eyes glanced up at me, as I bowed my head.
"I'm sorry."
The look of surprise in her eyes returned.
"You're sorry? For what?"
But an agitated voice came from her lips.
"For being born a bastard? For not receiving a blessing? What is it you're sorry for?"
"I'm sorry for leaving... you alone."
Aurelia stopped.
Her agitation turned to outrage as she slammed her book on the table.
Even though the library was empty at this hour, the loud noise still made me turn my head to watch for others.
"You... have no idea what you're talking about."
Aurelia's sharp eyes contradicted her whimpering lips.
"A fly on the wall knows more about me than the bullshit you're spouting! Don't pretend like you know more than you're letting on, you worthless piece of trash!"
Her shouts of anger inadvertently brought me to a cold sweat.
I had never seen her this angry before.
No...
I had once before.
It was the day I left the main household.
The same day I ran away from my siblings.
And the same day I left behind my only friend.
"Aurelia."
It took everything I had to look her in the eyes.
"I know in your eyes, I'm worthless... that without any authority to my name or blessing supporting me, I'm just a bastard."
I could feel my face heating up.
"And for that... I'm sorry."
I apologized with a choked voice.
And for the second time, I bowed my head.
"..."
I stared at the floor.
At this point, the action just felt like an excuse to look away from her.
'Why...?'
Her inner voice quivered.
It was the first time her mind had spoken.
'Why do you insist on saying such things...?'
I couldn't see the expression on her face.
"Mackenzie, do you still think that's the reason you're worthless in my eyes?"
"..."
My mouth stayed shut.
I couldn't understand her question.
Wasn't that why she viewed me as worthless?
Why all of my siblings viewed me as such?
Aurelia took my silence as an answer.
"From the moment we first met, I knew what you were. A bastard. But that didn't bother me in the slightest. Did you seriously think I would discredit you for having commoner blood?"
"But-"
"Telepathy. Or at least some form of it, that's the blessing you possess, am I correct?"
Dread shot through me at that moment.
Hearing that sentence induced more fear in me than death.
"H-how do you-?"
"You were inexperienced with using it. After months of playing with you back then, it didn't take me very long to figure it out."
'And before you ask, no. I'm the only one in the family who knows.'
I couldn't believe my ears.
She knew about it this whole time?
The nausea pooling in me almost made me puke.
I fell to my knees.
"Your apology proves you have no idea how I really feel. You have a blessing to read minds, yet you can't even understand your own."
Aurelia's words were muffled by a loud ringing in my ears.
Why was it so hard to hear?
Maybe it was the anxiety catching up with me.
I tried to focus and clear my head.
But it was hard to breathe.
It felt like the knot in my stomach strangled the air from my lungs.
I wanted to run away.
"In my eyes, you're worthless, Mackenzie. Not because of the excuses you use to shield yourself with but because you're a coward."
Aurelia's chastising words made my hands quiver.
"Did you come here today in hopes of placing a band aid over our relationship? It's childish of you to think such a simple apology would change anything."
"No, I-"
My mouth closed shut.
What did I come to her for?
It was to see her perspective.
To hear her thoughts and opinions.
I came here because I wanted to earn her trust back.
But everything that came from her mouth wounded me to my soul.
"I... never wanted an apology out of you, Mackenzie."
Her voice began to whimper.
"The choice to leave the main estate and return to your old life was yours alone. What I despised... was... why you did it."
A wave of guilt suddenly overcame me.
...But why did I feel this way?
"You... were running away."
That's when I remembered August's words.
'Aurelia holds worth in effort, not talent.'
The realization had hit me too late.
From the beginning, I should've listened to August's advice.
In Aurelia's eyes, all I was doing was trying to remedy a matter that never existed in her mind to begin with.
I wanted to explain myself.
To tell her the reasons why I left that day.
However, such an explanation was useless now.
I already screwed up.
It was best to leave and try again in the next loop.
But for some odd reason, my voice came out.
"I'm trying to move forward... unlike before."
Why was I saying this?
There was no point to prove here.
My hushed voice was inadequate compared to hers.
"Then what? Is this supposed to be a first attempt at confronting your problems head-on?"
"No..."
I thought back to my first interaction with August.
His tearful and muddied appearance.
His desperate swings, trying to achieve a goal I didn't yet comprehend.
I first kept an eye on him out of curiosity.
But throughout that first week, a different feeling grew inside me.
It was a resentful but nostalgic feeling.
I reached my hand out to him for a reason back then.
Whether that reason was cowardly, to just protect myself.
Or I unconsciously wanted to help him, I'm not too sure.
Aurelia is right about my cowardice.
I can't deny her words.
But the choice made back then was intentional.
I may not have known what I was getting into, but I decided to confront it head-on.
Just the same as I did back then, today I made a choice to step up.
This loop may end in failure.
But at the very least... I could see it through till the end.
I looked up at Aurelia.
"Aurelia... Not right now, but down the line, I want to reconcile with you."
Her woeful expression painted my heart with guilt.
"So, from now on... please support me. Maybe not yet as a friend. As I lost that right long ago..."
It may take months or may take years.
"...But at the very least, I want you to support me as a sister. I don't intend to stay worthless in your eyes forever."