1
I went for a pre-marriage medical examination with my blind-date partner.
And the exam revealed a baby.
The wedding was off.
The matchmaker came to my house and scolded my mother.
"You said your daughter was a virgin, but which virgin has a two-month-old baby?"
"Your family has really ruined our reputation!"
"Don't come to me again. It's so unlucky!"
...
My mother was scolded severely.
And then I was scolded severely by my mother.
"Who's the father of the baby?"
"..." I didn't say anything.
"Chen Jia, you're 28, not 8. Are you still messing around? Do you have any brains?"
"Do you want to drive your mother to death?"
"Oh." I turned and went upstairs, locking the door behind me.
2
I lay in bed, recalling that my menstrual cycle was indeed three weeks overdue. Recently, I had also been feeling a bit off my food. My menstrual cycle has always been irregular, making it difficult to keep track, a result of staying up late frequently. I had assumed this was just another one of those times.
Never did I imagine that I was pregnant.
And the father of the child? It wasn't anyone else.
It was my ex-boyfriend from six years ago.
Two months ago, I attended a classmate reunion, and he arrived late, drunk. I was the one who escorted him home. When I got to his house, I practically carried him inside. When I left, I stumbled my way out. The taxi driver must have thought something was wrong with me, glancing at me in the rearview mirror the whole way, afraid to speak.
...
After several days of pondering at home, I decided to go to Gu Xiao's hospital. I queued, paid, underwent the necessary tests, and finally took the report to his department.
"Morning consultations are over, come back in the afternoon," he said without even looking up, dismissing me with a single sentence.
Perhaps sensing that I hadn't left, he suddenly raised his head and saw me. His gaze trembled, his pupils narrowing slightly.
He looked completely surprised, as if we had just met after a long separation.
Such a good actor, how could he mistake me for someone else at the classmate reunion?
"Chen Jia?" he began to say.
Before he could finish, I placed the report neatly in front of him.
"I'm pregnant, and the father is you," I said bluntly.
He glanced down at the report, his expression solemn. I sensed a hint of fear in him.
"What child takes six years to conceive?" he asked, tapping the report with his long fingers. "Have you lost your memory? We broke up six years ago."
His words left me speechless, my face flushed.
"You don't want to acknowledge it?" I asked him through gritted teeth.
He looked up at me, his expression unreadable.
"Chen Jia, regret should have its own appearance. How... do you think I'll be a scapegoat?"
He didn't look at the report again, burying his head in his work, ignoring me.
"Take you..." I almost let slip a curse.
I never expected that instead of acknowledging it, he would accuse me of regretting it?
As for him, that scum of a man, I, Chen Jia, would never regret it in my lifetime.
Even if... I regretted it, I would never let him see it!
I took a few seconds to calm myself down and figure out what to say.
"Don't you think the baby's eyes look exactly like yours?"
He still managed to glance at the report while buried in his work, finally sighing.
Right?
Has he finally admitted it?
"A 10-week ultrasound, and you're asking me where the baby's eyes are?"
Instantly, I realized my mistake.
It's no use trying to wake someone who doesn't want to be a father.
"Fine, then I'll find someone else to be the father," I said, turning and walking out of his door.
3
Gu Xiao was a senior who graduated a year before me, the cream of the crop in the medical school. He was notoriously difficult to pursue. I chased after him for four years, and finally succeeded in winning him over a few months before graduation.
They all said that Gu Xiao was with me only because I cried, made a fuss, and even threatened to hang myself, driving him to his wits' end.
"Otherwise, how could such a high-and-mighty talent from A University ever look at Chen Jia, that fat and ugly girl from the History Department?"
"Just look at her belly, when she's full, it looks like she's five months pregnant."
They didn't know that to pursue Gu Xiao, I had lost 30 pounds, my weight dropping from 120 to 90. I uninstalled all my food delivery apps, ate apples for breakfast, and cucumbers for dinner. After eating like that for several months, I even found myself craving the long-legged mosquitoes in my mosquito net. As a result, I lost weight, but my menstrual cycle became severely irregular, and my sleep was also severely disrupted. All this, just to get Gu Xiao to look at me a little more.
One day, while running on the track, I followed him, and he turned back to look at me. He stared for a long time, and my entire face turned crimson with embarrassment. He likes me, I thought for sure. Nervously, I walked up to him, preparing my opening line.
"Are you Chen Jia's younger sister?" His words were like a bucket of cold water, soaking me from head to toe.
I was both angry and amused. "Um... kind of."
After a moment of silence, he handed me a bottle of water. "Then go tell her to stop clinging to me."
I took the water from him, it was the first time I had been so close to him. His eyelashes were so long, his nose so straight, and his speech so gentle. But his words were so cold.
"Okay," I swallowed my grievances.
After that, we often encountered each other on the track. After the tenth encounter, he asked for my WeChat. For the first time, I felt that the 30 pounds I had lost were worth it! Because from childhood to adulthood, no one had ever asked me for my WeChat, except for those handing out flyers on the street.
I invited him to watch a movie, and he didn't refuse. When I suggested we start dating, he didn't refuse. Even when I finally broke up with him, he didn't refuse. It was me who cried in my dorm room for a whole day and night.
My roommate asked, "Is a breakup so upsetting?"
Through my tears, I said, "It's okay."
"It's like bidding farewell to an old friend, one has to cry a little."
4
He is like a stagnant pool at the bottom of a lake, so calm that it terrifies me. I heard that later, his friends never dared to mention my name in front of him. Whenever they did, he would immediately turn sour. I understand this feeling. For him, a big yacht who has capsized in my small canal, feeling upset and angry is inevitable. But to say that he hates me, I don't think I deserve that.
After graduation, I returned to work in the downtown area of my hometown. With a monthly salary of 4,500, my mother arranged ten blind dates for me each year. After countless encounters, I had become numb. So, when the matchmaker introduced me to someone and we got to know each other for less than a month, we decided to get married.
He is a primary school teacher in the town, 30 years old, with a stable job. His parents live in the countryside, and he has a younger brother in high school.
"It's not easy to find someone with such conditions. Think about how much money his younger brother will need for high school and university."
"You're 28 now. If you don't get married soon, you'll only have second-marriage options left."
"Nowadays, second-marriage men with children might find it difficult to accept your family situation, especially with your younger sister."
My mother spoke humbly and nodded constantly as she sat at the table.
"You should ask clearly if they don't mind our family situation, right?"
"Tell them not to worry. Jia Jia's sister won't be a burden to them. We're still young and can work..."
Every time I see my mother like this, I feel annoyed. It feels like I'm being treated like a commodity with a set price, and the cheapest kind.
My mother politely sent the matchmaker away and gave her a big red envelope on her way out. Everything was ready. But then that incident happened, and my mother didn't speak to me for days. Despite her anger, a few days later, she came to visit me in the city with a carton of eggs. The carton was wrapped in her coat, and there was rice inside. Her hair was almost falling apart, but the eggs were intact.
"Have you gone to the hospital for a check-up?" My mother carefully placed the eggs in the fridge and turned to ask me.
"Check-up for what?" I played with my phone and replied, "There's nothing to check."
"To see how the baby is growing! You, why are you so unconcerned?" My mother said as she tried to pull me out.
"What's the point of looking?" I pushed her away.
"Are you really not going to keep it?" My mother looked at me worriedly.
The atmosphere was awkward. I fell silent. It's not that I don't want it; it's that he doesn't.
"You're not young anymore. If you don't keep it this time, what if it's harder to have one in the future?"
"You've been on so many blind dates. Why don't you bring that boy over? Let me and Dad have a look. If he's decent, you can just get married."
Get married? She's really thinking big and beautiful.
"Don't worry about it. I'll go to the hospital for the procedure in a few days." I sent my mother away.
When my mother heard my determination, she tried to persuade me again.
"Don't be impulsive. It's a life." My mother struggled as I closed the door.
"Did you give birth to Chen Yu like this?" I blurted out.
My mother fell silent. Her eyes showed hurt.
Chen Yu is my younger sister. She's also my mother's Achilles' heel. Because she has epilepsy and is 10 years old but still cannot speak.
After sending her away, I felt a heaviness in my chest. Every time I say those things, I feel like it's revenge, but I quickly feel regret. I picked up my phone, booked an appointment, and went to the hospital.
On my way there, I seriously considered my mother's words, "Maybe you should just get married."
I pondered, if I were to marry Gu Xiao, would I be willing?
How could I not be willing? It was once my dream.
As I passed by the emergency department on the first floor, I caught sight of Gu Xiao at once.
A group of nurses and doctors surrounded a newly arrived patient, performing emergency resuscitation.
He wore a white coat and had just inserted a tracheal tube into the patient. The side profile of his face made my breathing become erratic.
So, I thought, even if it happened again, I wouldn't have been able to push him away that night at the classmate reunion.
The moment I saw him, he also saw me.
He only glanced at me for a second and then turned back to continue the resuscitation.
He was so busy.
I didn't dare to approach and disturb him, so I sat on a chair outside to wait for him.
I made a decision. Even if he rejected me again, I would have to ask him clearly.
Why did he act so passionately towards me that night at the classmate reunion, but then didn't acknowledge it afterwards?
Even if he didn't acknowledge it, he should have accompanied me for the surgery.
I was at a loss.
During the dozen minutes of waiting for him, I imagined countless possibilities.
I prepared an escape route for each scenario.
But everything vanished into thin air when I clicked on my QQ space and saw his post.
"Gu Xiao: Six jin and six liang, mother and child are safe."
My heart jolted, as if all my strength had been drained.
He's married and has a child, born today.
That's why he didn't acknowledge that night.
That's why he didn't want the baby.
5
I find myself in a state of mockery.
That evening, he was drunk, with red-rimmed eyes, asking me, "Are you Chen Jia?" I hesitated for a moment and replied, "Yes." However, he looked at me with a defeated expression and said, "You're not her."
"So, what do you want with her?" I asked him with a smile.
"To settle a debt," he replied.
A debt?
My smile froze.
"What kind of debt?"
"A love debt," he said, looking helpless and cold. "No one has ever played me like that."
Upon hearing those words, I lost my composure. The next moment, he kissed me, and I didn't push him away. Later, when things got out of control, it was partly due to my own indulgence. Amidst the ambiguity, I foolishly thought that perhaps he still loved me in that moment.
I don't recall how I ended up at the obstetrics and gynecology department. The entire process was a blur. All I remember is hearing the doctor say that my HCG levels were low, my uterine wall was thin, and the risk of miscarriage was high. The doctor wanted to give me shots to help retain the pregnancy, but I refused. I thought of Gu Xiao's post on social media and decided there was no point in trying to save the pregnancy.
I got back in the car and headed home, feeling defeated. Suddenly, my phone rang, and it was an unknown number. "Where are you?" It was Gu Xiao. Even though it had been six years since we last spoke, I recognized his voice immediately — arrogant and aloof.
"In the car," I said, adjusting my breathing and calming my emotions.
"Why did you call me earlier? What's the matter?" he asked, still sounding arrogant.
I hesitated for a moment and replied, "It's nothing now."
He fell silent for a while before saying, "Haven't you given up yet? There's no chance for us."
"Alright, I'll hang up now," I said, ready to end the conversation.
But he wasn't ready to let it go.
"I heard from your doctor that your condition isn't good. You should come back and get those shots to retain the pregnancy. I'll talk to the doctor. Since we've known each other, I can only help you to this extent," he said.
I hung up the phone with a bang. What a scumbag! Who needs his help?
He sent me a text message, furious, asking, "Chen Jia, how could you be so rude now?"
I felt outraged and replied, "What do you mean by rudeness? Instead of educating me here, you should go home and change your baby's diaper a few more times."
He sent a question mark in response.
I didn't bother to reply.
Does he still think I'm the same Chen Jia he could manipulate back then? Back then, I would carefully ponder over every post he made on social media. When chatting with him, I never dared to let his replies end the conversation. I would try my best to find topics to talk about, but his replies were always curt: "I'm going to sleep," "I'm going to take a shower," "I'll talk to you later," and so on.
When I got home, I lay on the bed and took out our photos. I cut them all up and flushed his face down the toilet. Scumbag, go to hell! But despite my efforts, tears still streamed down my face uncontrollably.
6
The next day, I returned to work at the company.
The company transferred me to the marketing department.
"The marketing department involves running around to different stores, it's tiring, but if you do well, your salary can reach over ten thousand," the head of the marketing department promised me with a pie in the sky.
The truth was that a colleague in the marketing department had gone on maternity leave, and they were short-staffed.
From their perspective, someone like me, an older unmarried woman without even a boyfriend, was the perfect candidate for this job.
Otherwise, selecting anyone else could potentially be a minefield.
"Is there any allowance?" I asked.
In the world of adults, I didn't believe in empty promises; I only cared about the bottom line.
"There's a daily transportation and living allowance of 80 yuan, and if you do well, we'll even cover your phone bill," he said.
"Alright," I agreed.
Eighty yuan a day meant 2,400 yuan a month.
Sending that extra 2,400 yuan back to my mother might slow down the growth of her gray hair.
So, I went from being an ordinary office worker to a lowly mis-sales manager, scurrying between supermarkets every day, punching in, checking inventory, and tallying mis-sales.
By the time I got home every day, I was so exhausted that I didn't even want to talk.
While using the toilet, I noticed a trace of blood.
I remembered the doctor's words and sighed inwardly.
The baby was probably gone.
But I was more upset than I had imagined, and I couldn't sleep the entire night.
After another weekend passed, I went to the hospital to register for a check-up.
This time, it was a female doctor named Liu Qian, who was quite pretty.
"You know Shun Xiao, huh? Why didn't you say so earlier?" Dr. Liu's sudden enthusiasm made me feel a bit uneasy.
"Kind of."
"Did he have a girlfriend in college? What type was she?"
I was taken aback.
Her questions seemed to go beyond the doctor-patient relationship.
I seemed to understand that she had a crush on Gu Xiao.
But Gu Xiao already had a child, didn't she know?
Could it be that Gu Xiao hadn't told his colleagues and pretended to be single?
Such a scumbag.
"His girlfriend in college was very ordinary," I answered truthfully.
"Do you have a photo? I want to see it," she persisted.
I looked her straight in the eye and let her gaze at me for a few seconds.
Why look at a photo? The person is right in front of you.
She seemed to have forgotten that I was there for a check-up.
I got angry just thinking about Gu Xiao already having a family but still claiming to be single at the class reunion and now putting on a single facade in the hospital.
"Didn't he get married?" I gently reminded her.
"Married?" She was obviously shocked. "I didn't hear anything about that."
This...
"Why do you say that?" Her expression became a bit unnatural.
She seemed to think I was lying, and it gave me a headache.
"Could it be that his account was hacked?" I had to show her the post.
She looked at the post and was shocked to the point of losing her composure.
"Dr. Gu has a child?"
Just as she finished speaking...
"Come out here for a moment," a cold voice rang out behind me.
I was startled.
Gu Xiao?!
Oh no, he's definitely going to be angry with me for exposing his secret.
"Gu Xiao, why are you here..." Dr. Liu stood up excitedly.
I turned around and saw him in a white coat, looking handsome as ever, but his face was extremely dark.
"Hurry up, I don't have time..." He seemed angry.
I thought for a moment and realized there was no need to be afraid of him. It was his fault, not mine.
So, I reluctantly followed him out.
He led me to his office and locked the door behind us.
I held onto my arm, feeling a bit nervous.
"Why did you lock the door? We're just talking," I said, eyeing the locked door and feeling a bit uneasy.
"I don't want to be interrupted," he said tersely, sitting down in his office chair.
Hmph! He still has a big ego, just like six years ago.
"Alright, then you speak," I said.
In this enclosed room, I actually felt a bit scared to look at him.
"You're telling everyone I have a child?" He looked at me with narrowed eyes.
It made me sweat.
"I didn't tell everyone... I just stated the truth. Brother Gu, Dr. Liu is a nice person, you shouldn't lie to her," I said.
He didn't respond, his gaze sweeping over my stomach.
Why is he looking at my stomach?
I quickly pulled down my clothes.
"Hmph..." He let out a cold laugh. "So you're really clinging onto me? How come, your blind date didn't satisfy you?"
Me: ?
When did I cling onto him? The child I'm talking about isn't this one. Does he have a brain disorder?
"Don't flatter yourself," I said, exasperated.
"Chen Jia, I know you too well. Your current demeanor, is it any different from when you chased after me back then?" He looked at me mockingly.
I admit, his words stung me.
"And so?"
"Impossible. Your little tricks might have fooled me back then, but do you think after six years, I'll still fall for them?" He snorted.
"I heard you're about to get married, so don't cling onto me anymore. Do you want me to give you a wedding gift?"
Get married? He thinks I'm looking for a wedding gift from him?
He really stung me.
"Do you really think you're still as handsome as you were back then? You're old now, with wrinkles. Do you think a used-up man like you would interest me?" I said in one breath.
His smile froze, and his expression darkened even more.
"Chen Jia, taunting won't work on me," he said, standing up and calmly removing his white coat.
"We broke up, and even if we hadn't, I wouldn't let you run wild. You can't just do whatever you want," he said.
The atmosphere suddenly became tense.
I smiled.
When did he ever pamper me? What a fake!
"Gu Xiao, you're something," I said, smiling as I walked to the door. Just before reaching it, I remembered something and turned back. "And just so you know, your 'seed' is gone," I said, pointing at my stomach.